Tate hung his head for a moment. “You worked with what you had at the time, and it appears from what I read that time was what you didn’t have. It wasn’t your fault that poor boy got shot. Or that by the time he reached you there wasn’t enough time to save him. I can’t even imagine how hard that must be.” His gaze drilled into Adam. “But what I can tell you with certainty is that I know you, and I know that you gave him everything you had to give in the amount of time you had to try to make a miracle happen. You need to let it go. Or learn to live with it. You’re grieving for him, I think, and that just shows how human you are. But you’re a doctor, brother. You can’t let your grief take over your life. You have to pick up the pieces and move forward and help someone else.”
Goosebumps prickled across Adam’s skin and he let out a breath of frustration as Tate’s words sank in. He hadn’t had time. But he’d held himself responsible because he’d been fighting the demons of burnout.
He knew his brother was right. Hearing the words of reassurance from Tate, who wouldn’t say anything that he didn’t truly believe, Adam let the truth sink in. He wasn’t sure how Tate was so perceptive on this subject but maybe that was what he needed—an objective eye looking in. And time. Time to find his way.
His chest hurt and he blinked hard against the burn of tears. “Thanks. I needed that.”
“You’re one of the good guys, Adam. The fact that you don’t have a God complex makes you even better at your job. Don’t let what happened keep you from moving on.”
“I won’t.”
“Okay then, my work here is done. Got to go. I’ll see you when I get home.”
A few minutes later, when Tate rode off down the street, Adam felt a weight lifted and found himself looking at his watch. He looked at the unpainted shutters, and then turned and strode into the house.
He was going to a wedding.
Chapter Fourteen
Rosie had made sure that everything was perfect for this special day. She felt jittery and keyed up and she knew it was from her meeting with Adam. While she set the reception table up and made sure the muffin cake was positioned perfectly, her thoughts were on her neighbor.
She’d had turned their day of surfing over and over in her mind. She had loved every moment she’d spent with him. And when he’d held her in his arms there in the water, she’d felt more alive than she’d ever felt. And then she’d sat right there on the sand and spilled her guts to him. But it had felt right. And she’d trusted him. She’d trusted him as a man, a friend. Not, as he’d said, just because he was a doctor.
Her world had taken a skydiving experience every time he’d kissed her. She’d spun out of control and still felt that way. She hadn’t been able to concentrate the last few days. Her mind was constantly on him, and though she had looked out the window in the dark hours of the night and seen him sitting there, she’d stayed away. She didn’t trust herself to not throw herself at him.
And she couldn’t do that. Though she knew that she was falling for her neighbor faster than she’d believed possible she also knew that something bothered him and he hadn’t shared anything personal about his past with her. Not that they’d actually spent all that much time together, not in the big realm of things. And today he’d turned down spending time with her in her dynamite dress and instead chose to scrape paint off shutters. How exciting was that? And what did that say about any feelings she’d thought he might be having toward her after he’d rocked her world with his kisses?
It was a blow that she was finding hard to find any joy in. But she wasn’t about to let anyone know this. She plastered on her smile and lavished love on Clarence and Belva and all the other residents of the retirement home. She ignored that her heart was suddenly wanting things that she had thought she wasn’t ready for. Not yet. But all it had taken was a few days, a very few short weeks spent knowing Adam, to change that.
The wedding was lovely, and she was sitting in the back row of chairs with tears of joy in her eyes when someone sat down in the chair beside her and held a tissue close to her face.
“Don’t cry,” that familiar masculine voice whispered close to her ear and sent tingles flowing through her like lava.
She took the tissue, her fingers touching his as she did so, and her heart jangled in her chest. “You came. I thought you had shutters to clean?”
“I’m an idiot. Why would I want to clean shutters when I could come here and dance with the most beautiful and special woman in the world?”
Startled by his words, she faltered to find words. “Um, well, that’s pushing things a good bit. But I’m so glad you’re here.”
He tilted her chin and looked into her eyes with such intensity that she almost lost her voice. “You are to me.”
Her breath just whooshed out of her as if an elephant had sat on her chest, and she got lost in his eyes. No one had ever looked at her like that.
And then he took her hand and kissed it.
Feeling shaken, she held his hand and forced her gaze back to the older couple as they recited their vows; then, holding hands, they kissed. It was beautiful and she loved that love could be found at any age. Had she found it?
Her heart said yes but her common sense made her take a step back and keep an open perspective.
Feeling self-conscious, a few moments later she led the way to the reception table and helped cut the cake and hand out dishes of strawberry delight muffins to everyone. Adam helped her, taking plates of the dessert to the residents in wheelchairs and making sure they had punch, too.
“That is such a good man. With a good heart,” Mami said, coming to help with the cake duties. “I hoped he might come to dance with you.”
“Yes, he is. But I think he came to dance with you.” She winked at Mami as he came their way. He had come to the wedding and sat beside her and kissed her hand but she was not going to jump to any conclusions. Wrong conclusions could hurt. And besides that, she still wasn’t sure about what she wanted out of this. And yet when his eyes met hers, she felt as if someone had turned the heaters on and the place was going to explode into flames.
It was a little bit scary. In a really good way.
And her grateful clock was spinning out of control.
“It’s time to get the dancing started,” Clarence boomed from the middle of the room. “I’m ready to dance with my beautiful bride.”
“Oh Clarence, you are such a charmer.” Belva slipped her hand into the one he held out to her, and as if the recreation director had been waiting for her cue, she punched a button and “Unforgettable” began playing.
“Isn’t that beautiful,” Rosie said when Adam came to stand next to her, their shoulders touching.
“It is. I’m glad you invited me.”
She was too.
When the next song started, the older couples paired up and began dancing to “Smoke Gets In My Eyes,” another oldie that Adam loved. He turned to Rosie. “May I have this dance?”
Her eyes were wide, and for a moment, he saw a vulnerability in their depths that he hadn’t seen before. When she placed her hand in his, he could almost feel the racing of her heart as it matched the pace of his. Slipping his hand around her waist, he led her onto the dance floor. She fit into his arms as if she’d been made for him, and as the romantic song played, he lost himself in the feel of her in his arms. He’d been right in coming. He’d needed this. He was more grateful to Tate than his brother would ever know, for his words that had helped him see more clearly.
The day had been magical, and now Rosie was riding home with Adam. “Thank you for the ride home,” she said, as soon as the truck came to a halt next to their cottages. Her heart skipped lightly as he placed a hand on her arm.
“Don’t get out just yet. Just sit right there.”
Confused and her skin burning where he’d touched her, she sat and waited as he got out of the truck, strode around the truck, and opened the door for her. He held his hand out for her and she slipped her hand into his. H
er cheeks flushed, as was becoming the norm where he was concerned. In the late afternoon light, she could have let her mind waltz through romantic notions about them. They’d danced several dances together with over forty chaperones dancing around them and then he’d danced with as many of the ladies as he could get to while she was practically swept off her feet by every older gentleman resident who could stand. And some in wheelchairs. Mami had done her fair share of dancing too.
It was a wonderful wedding and every time her gaze met Adam’s, his eyes crinkled around the edges and his lips quirked into a smile, as if they shared a private link between just the two of them. They’d needed Lila there to help, but her family had been in for the weekend, and Doreen had been out of town too or just used that as an excuse because she was too shy. And Birdie had another commitment, so that had left just poor Mami to help her host. And Adam. Once again, he’d come to her rescue.
Now his eyes crinkled and he held her hand securely as she slid from the seat to stand next to him. He stared at her, and she stared up at him. The tension that had been wound so tight between them all the way from the Sandy Shores Retirement Home cranked tighter. Rosie lifted her free hand and placed it on his heart, because he was still holding her other hand in his, in midair as if frozen there. His heart thundered beneath her touch and she wanted this man to kiss her again. To pull her close and have a repeat of the kiss he’d given her on Saturday.
And then he did. He slid his arm around her, pulled her in close and lowered his lips to hers. And Rosie was lost in the feel of being in Adam’s embrace, lost in the feel of his lips working magic over hers and causing a yearning to rage through her that she’d never, ever felt before. It was building with each kiss they shared.
But this time, she knew that the world as she knew it had just changed forever.
Chapter Fifteen
Adam had issues to overcome. He told himself this even as he lowered his head and kissed Rosie. It was as if he’d lost his mind. Or his heart.
She’d been like an angel at that wedding, fluttering around and making sure it was a beautiful day for the wedding couple and the guests. And when he’d arrived late, he’d stood at the back of the room at first and watched as she sat in the back row, dabbing at her eyes without tissues. She’d been touched by the wedding even before the preacher started the ceremony. He’d felt a strong compulsion to sweep her off her feet and ask her to marry him right there in the back row. It was as if something had taken him over and he wasn’t using his head.
He was a planner. A contemplator. Especially on important matters. Unless he was in the trauma unit, where his skill, his mind, and his gut became one and instinct took over. Standing there with that instinct telling him that Rosie was the love of his life, he knew in his heart of hearts that what Tate had said was true. He’d wanted Mikie to live and he’d given everything he had to give to make it so…but time hadn’t been on his side. And nothing he did could have turned back the clock to give him that time.
As much as Mikie’s death hurt, there was freedom for Adam in this assurance. His death hadn’t been because Adam had been too tired or burned out. He kissed Rosie with relief, with passion and a sense of hope. Hope that if he played his cards right, her brand of sunshine could fill his days for the rest of his life.
Lifting his head, he stared down into her dazzling eyes. “Rosie, will you take a walk on the beach with me?”
“I’d like that.”
She stepped out of her heels; he bent and picked them up and placed them in the seat of his truck. Then he removed his dress shoes and socks, and set them beside hers. He rolled his pants up to his ankles and then closed the door and took her hand again. They walked across the white sugar sand toward the topaz water.
His heart hammered, but he’d never felt more right about anything in his life with Rosie beside him. They walked silently down the wet sand as they’d done several times before, each time special.
A little down the beach, a man was fishing and a pelican was trying to steal his bait.
Adam laughed. “Looks like Seymour is back and causing trouble.”
“Looks that way. I’m not sure where he’s been off to but it’s good to see him return. I will never forget seeing you that first day, fussing with that pelican.”
“I’m sure it was a sight. I’ll never forget looking up and finding you standing there.” He turned and took her hands. “Rosie, it was like a bolt of lightning to my life when I first saw you standing there. You were a ray of sunlight shining bright at a time when I needed a ray of sunshine. A ray of hope. I was about as low as I’ve ever been when I first came back here. I haven’t even been able to talk about it. Until today.”
“Adam. I’m so sorry. I knew you were struggling with something.”
His lips flattened together and he nodded, gathering the will to speak. “I lost a patient I thought I should have been able to save. I wanted to save him…Mikie. His name was Mikie and he was only ten. But there was no time.” He raked a hand through his hair, wanting to pull it out. “I’ve blamed myself, thought because I was burned out that I might have not had the time to save him because I was reacting slow. My brother Tate came by right after you and Mami left and he helped me realize that it wasn’t me—there was just no time left by the time Mikie was brought in to me. Poor boy didn’t have a chance. But I’ve been questioning myself ever since that day, and grieving too. I can’t imagine what his family is going through. They blamed me and that has haunted me too, made me question myself even more. But, they were grieving and lashed out. I understand.”
Rosie wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. And he let the feel of her warm him.
She pulled back and looked up at him with a mixture of fire and sympathy. “Adam, you listen to me. I know you too. And I have seen you in action on things of far less importance than saving a precious child’s life or any life, and I can assure you that you go all in on everything. Do you hear me? You give everything, and I mean everything, you’ve got to every task. Even baking muffins. Or cleaning up afterward. And then the way you touch people with kindness…there is no question in my mind that you did everything you could to save that little boy.”
Her words enveloped him, filled him up.
She cupped his face, smoothing her thumb across his skin, and he knew…knew his heart was not wrong in what it felt for this woman. “Your confidence means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me, Rosie. I don’t want to scare you away but I’m falling head over heels in love with you. I can’t get you off my mind. And I don’t want to. You make me see things in a new light. Your kindness warms me. Your light draws me. Feeds me. That’s why I can’t get you off my mind. Or my heart.”
Her eyes grew as large as a huge sand dollar. “Adam Sinclair, I hate to break it to you but I think I lost my heart to you the night you drove me home from spending all day making muffins for the festival. Right there, sitting in our driveway.”
His heart expanded, and light and joy ignited within him. “I don’t know what to say.” And then he didn’t say anything because she wrapped her arms around his neck and she kissed him…and he decided that words could wait.
Later, looking very satisfied with herself, Rosie pulled back from kissing him and smiled. “There. That, for your information, was the first time I’ve ever kissed a man. I’ve experienced a lot of firsts with you.”
His head was spinning and his knees were weak. “I have to say that I thought since you’d never been kissed until the day on the beach when I kissed you, that you’d never kissed a man either. And I need to let you know that you did a mighty fine job of it, being that you haven’t had any practice.”
She got an impish expression. “A fine job? Oh no, fine won’t do. I need to do a great job. Practice makes perfect—”
He placed two fingers over her lips. “Hold on. I need to say something first.”
And right there, on the spur of the moment, Adam dropped to his knee.
“W-what are yo
u doing?” Rosie whispered, her voice trembling.
Adam had never felt more certain of anything in his life. “Rosie Olsen, will you marry me and practice kissing me for the rest of our lives?”
Her eyes were huge and they slowly filled with tears as she stared down at him in shock. Or maybe she’d lost her voice—and he suspected that had never happened before. Another first in her life.
He smiled up at her. “Are you going to answer? Or are you speechless?”
Rosie couldn’t speak. Her heart thundered in her chest as Rosie stared down at Adam. Unable to speak or think or believe this was actually happening. She’d dreamed of forever and thought it was out of her grasp. Thought she’d leave this earth without having experienced a forever kind of love. Then Adam had entered her life. And she’d begun to hope.
She dropped to her knees in front of him. “Yes,” she whispered, then more forcefully, “Yes!” Leaning into him, she kissed him and he pulled her closer as their hearts beat as one. Adam returned the kiss, leaving her breathless with feelings she’d never felt before. Their kiss turned passionate and she very literally felt swept away with a host of emotions and new feelings.
When she came up for air, she pulled back to look at him. His eyes held hers. “I think I have a lot to learn.”
He chuckled huskily. “I think we both do. But we’ll take it slow and not get ahead of ourselves. I want to marry you, Rosie Olsen.”
“I think slow is good. But Adam, this is right.”
He cupped her face. “This is very right. And I’m the luckiest man alive.”
Rosie nearly cried as he tenderly kissed her with the promise of everything she’d ever dared to hope and dream of and her happy tears were because she was so thankful to have lived to feel his love.
Longing for Forever (Sunset Bay Romance Book 1) Page 12
