by Brenda Novak
He waited…and waited. No response.
With a curse, he turned to the transcripts and skimmed through the exchanges he hadn’t reread. A lot of these conversations had taken place last September before Mary realized she was dealing with someone other than WhosYourDaddy represented himself to be, but they offered insight to the man’s psyche.
WhosYourDaddy: Are you as hot as you were when you were sixteen?
BrownEyedGirl: You don’t know?
WhosYourDaddy: I haven’t seen you for years.
BrownEyedGirl: I’ve sent you pictures. You’re the one who hasn’t sent me any pics. Where are they, by the way?
WhosYourDaddy: I lost my camera. I’ll get one taken soon, though.
Sebastian paged through to find the Xeroxed picture Malcolm had eventually sent. It was of a man handsome enough to be appealing but regular enough to be believable—a smart choice, and probably no one Malcolm even knew. Sebastian’s guess was that Malcolm had taken a snapshot of some random guy and used the picture to satisfy Mary’s curiosity. Or he’d bought a stock photo.
Setting it aside, he went back to reading.
BrownEyedGirl: Do it tomorrow. I want to see who I’m talking to.
WhosYourDaddy: You know who you’re talking to.
BrownEyedGirl: No, I don’t. I still can’t remember meeting you at Joe’s party.
WhosYourDaddy: You really know how to hurt a guy’s ego. I guess I didn’t stand out.
BrownEyedGirl: There were, like…two hundred kids at Joe’s house that night. And I had a boyfriend, so I wasn’t paying much attention.
WhosYourDaddy: I remember your boyfriend. What was his name again?
BrownEyedGirl: Malcolm Turner.
WhosYourDaddy: That’s right. You were really into him.
BrownEyedGirl: No joke. I was head over heels.
WhosYourDaddy: Lucky guy.
BrownEyedGirl:
WhosYourDaddy: Have you seen him lately?
BrownEyedGirl: No. We lost touch when we graduated.
WhosYourDaddy: Do you know what became of him?
BrownEyedGirl: No idea.
WhosYourDaddy: You think about him sometimes, though, don’t you?
BrownEyedGirl: Sometimes.
WhosYourDaddy: If you’d married him, maybe you’d still be married. Maybe your kids would be his.
BrownEyedGirl: I doubt we would’ve made it. He cheated on me with Sherry Stewart. I caught them together in the bedroom at Dennis Marchant’s house. Broke my heart.
WhosYourDaddy: Only an idiot would cheat on someone as beautiful as you.
“Were you that idiot?” Sebastian asked and turned the page.
BrownEyedGirl: They got together after I broke up with him, but it didn’t last long.
WhosYourDaddy: I met her once. She wasn’t half as pretty as you.
BrownEyedGirl: Thanks. I never could understand what he saw in her.
WhosYourDaddy: She was a slut, and at that age, a guy thinks with his dick. He’s dealing with too many hormones to know when he’s got a good thing.
BrownEyedGirl: Does that ever really change? LOL
WhosYourDaddy: I’d never risk losing someone like you, that’s for sure. Were you giving it up to Malcolm?
“You already know, don’t you?” Sebastian said. “You just like thinking about it, talking about it.”
BrownEyedGirl: You can guess the answer to that question.
WhosYourDaddy: You did.
BrownEyedGirl: It’s not like I was easy. We were together for two years.
WhosYourDaddy: Would you make me wait that long before you let me touch you?
BrownEyedGirl: That depends.
WhosYourDaddy: On what?
BrownEyedGirl: On my level of trust.
WhosYourDaddy: You can trust me, babe.
BrownEyedGirl: I’d like to think so.
WhosYourDaddy: Do you ever talk to Sherry Stewart?
Sebastian checked his computer screen. Still no response from Malcolm.
BrownEyedGirl: Never. Not since that night.
WhosYourDaddy: What about your other friends from high school?
“Wondering what she’s heard about you?” Sebastian asked. WhosYourDaddy was always probing. Sometimes it was just more subtle than at other times.
BrownEyedGirl: Not really. My best friend died of cancer while we were in college. That’s when I realized I wanted something deeper than most of the people I’d hung out with in high school seemed to want. They were still partying on the weekends and screwing around. It was time for me to get serious about life. That’s when I met Jimmy.
WhosYourDaddy: At UC Berkeley?
BrownEyedGirl: Yep.
WhosYourDaddy: Did you go back to San Antonio after college?
BrownEyedGirl: No, we stayed in California to be near his family.
WhosYourDaddy: So you haven’t been to Texas in how long?
BrownEyedGirl: Years. My parents moved to Portland while I was at Berkeley, so there’s never been any reason to go back.
Fortunately, that was all true, so they didn’t have to worry about Malcolm learning otherwise.
WhosYourDaddy: Don’t you want to see Malcolm?
BrownEyedGirl: I don’t even know if he’s still there. Last I heard, his family was, but he’d moved on.
WhosYourDaddy: What if you were to hear from him? How would you react?
Sebastian had highlighted this part. It showed Malcolm throwing out more feelers, seeing how he might be received if he ever decided to reveal himself.
BrownEyedGirl: Not sure. That would depend on why he was contacting me in the first place. I still haven’t completely forgiven him. I’ve never been hurt like that, even by my ex-husband.
WhosYourDaddy: Maybe he’s changed, grown up.
BrownEyedGirl: And maybe he hasn’t. Once a cheater, always a cheater. That’s what I say.
WhosYourDaddy: You don’t know that.
BrownEyedGirl: I don’t think I could trust him again.
Unfortunately, this conversation preceded Mary’s realization that she could be talking to Malcolm or she would’ve answered differently.
WhosYourDaddy: Poor Malcolm. He’s missing out on so much.
BrownEyedGirl: Don’t give me that. He brought it on himself. I might be divorced but I’m not desperate.
WhosYourDaddy: I’d treat you better.
“Than you used to?” Sebastian murmured.
BrownEyedGirl: I’d like to believe that.
Sebastian grimaced. “If you’re smart you won’t.”
WhosYourDaddy: I’ll prove it to you.
BrownEyedGirl: Have you ever cheated?
WhosYourDaddy: I’d never cheat on someone as beautiful as you.
BrownEyedGirl: So you have cheated.
WhosYourDaddy: Not on my first wife.
BrownEyedGirl: How many wives have you had?
WhosYourDaddy: Two.
So had Malcolm.
BrownEyedGirl: You went out on your second wife?
WhosYourDaddy: She went out on me first. I think she was sleeping with her ex the whole time we were married. I know she never got over him. She was always throwing him in my face.
BrownEyedGirl: What was his name?
WhosYourDaddy: Prick, at least to me. LOL
Sebastian hesitated here. Malcolm was talking about him and Emily, but he couldn’t be more wrong. There’d been times when Sebastian had felt a spark between him and his ex. He couldn’t deny that. They’d cared about each other, cared for their son. But they’d never slept together, not after the divorce. If Emily hadn’t married Malcolm, they might’ve reconciled, but she had, and then Sebastian met Constance and everything changed.
Trying to imagine what it would’ve been like if they’d managed to reunite their family, he closed his eyes. Emily and Colton would both be alive, and Colton would have the complete family he’d always dreamed about….
It was Malcolm who’d removed that possibility. First, whe
n he convinced Emily to marry him by pretending to be a better man than he was. Then, when he’d assumed, without any proof, that Emily was cheating on him and killed her.
Or was his unfounded accusation just an excuse to get rid of her and take the money?
His eyes too bleary to continue reading, Sebastian put the transcripts aside and reached over to turn off his computer. Before he could press the off button, however, the response he’d been waiting for finally appeared on the screen.
WhosYourDaddy: You up? Sorry, I didn’t see your message.
The exhaustion that’d been dragging at him fell away as Sebastian considered how to reply. He didn’t want this session to be more inane chitchat, leading nowhere. He wasn’t here to entertain Malcolm while Malcolm fantasized about getting it on with his ex-girlfriend.
After stretching his neck to loosen the tense muscles, he typed.
BrownEyedGirl: I’m up, all right, wishing you were here to hold me.
WhosYourDaddy: We’ll be together someday.
BrownEyedGirl: I’d like that. You make me feel special—like more than a tired soccer mom. LOL
WhosYourDaddy: Because you are special.
BrownEyedGirl: Do you mean that? Or is it just a bunch of writing on a screen?
WhosYourDaddy: Touch yourself for me. Be my hands. I’ll tell you what to do.
Sebastian rolled his eyes. Internet sex? “Mary” couldn’t settle for that.
BrownEyedGirl: No, it’s not the same.
WhosYourDaddy: It’s the next best thing. I can’t be there, babe, but I can do my part from here.
BrownEyedGirl: Why won’t you agree to meet? L.A. isn’t that far.
WhosYourDaddy: I can’t.
BrownEyedGirl: Even if I come to you? I already told you I would. Let’s get together and see if what we’re feeling is as real as it seems.
There was a short delay.
WhosYourDaddy: My life is complicated right now, Mary.
BrownEyedGirl: You’re not married, are you? You haven’t been leading me on while you have a wife sleeping in the next room!
WhosYourDaddy: No, nothing like that. I swear it.
BrownEyedGirl: Then what?
WhosYourDaddy: I’m just…having some trouble with my roommates. It’s been a rough night.
BrownEyedGirl: You’ve never mentioned any roommates.
WhosYourDaddy: They didn’t have a place to stay. I was nice enough to take them in.
BrownEyedGirl: When?
WhosYourDaddy: A few weeks ago.
BrownEyedGirl: Are they male or female?
WhosYourDaddy: Female. Sisters. But there’s nothing going on between us. They’re not my type. I thought they could help out with the cooking and cleaning, that’s all.
BrownEyedGirl: Right.
WhosYourDaddy: What’s that supposed to mean?
Sebastian didn’t respond
WhosYourDaddy: I can tell what you’re thinking. But stop it. I told you, I’m not sleeping with these girls.
BrownEyedGirl: Then why don’t you want to see me?
WhosYourDaddy: I do. I’ve wanted to be with you for years.
BrownEyedGirl: And yet all you do is chat. There’s got to be a reason. You’ve got to be hiding a wife or a girlfriend.
WhosYourDaddy: I’m not! I’m just taking it slow, like you asked me to. Don’t pick a fight. We were doing fine.
BrownEyedGirl: Having no physical contact is fine? Making empty promises through a computer is fine? You say I met you at a party, but I can’t even remember what you look like.
WhosYourDaddy: I sent you a picture.
BrownEyedGirl: It’s not enough.
When this brought no answer, Sebastian got up and opened a beer from the courtesy bar. He had so much adrenaline pumping through him he couldn’t stay seated. Was he being too aggressive? Maybe. But this Internet relationship could go on indefinitely. He had to trick Malcolm into blowing his cover.
At last Malcolm’s response appeared.
WhosYourDaddy: Someday, like I said. I promise. I think about you all the time.
Sebastian studied those words. Should he give up for tonight? Back off? He decided to at least change his approach. Sitting down again, he wrote back.
BrownEyedGirl: Forget I said anything.
WhosYourDaddy: No, it’s okay to want to see me. I like that. I want to see you, too.
BrownEyedGirl: Then why don’t you pick a place to meet? Harris Ranch is between L.A. and Sacramento. We could meet there.
WhosYourDaddy: I don’t understand why you’re suddenly in such a rush. You’re the one who wanted to take this slow, remember?
BrownEyedGirl: But it’s as if I know you already. I mean, more than just a brief acquaintance. There’s a kinship here I haven’t felt with anyone in a long time. Am I crazy?
WhosYourDaddy: Not at all.
BrownEyedGirl: I think it’s because you remind me of someone I used to care about.
WhosYourDaddy: Who?
Sebastian waited, hoping his delay would make Malcolm believe “Mary” was reluctant to respond.
WhosYourDaddy: Are you going to tell me?
BrownEyedGirl: No.
WhosYourDaddy: Why not?
BrownEyedGirl: Because it doesn’t matter. It’s not like I’ll ever see him again.
WhosYourDaddy: Tell me!
The real Mary had made it sound as if she was still bitter over Malcolm’s betrayal. Sebastian needed to spin that into something more appealing. If he played it smart, maybe he could make Malcolm so eager to reclaim Mary’s adulation, the adulation he remembered from his glory days, that he couldn’t help but step forward.
BrownEyedGirl: Just someone I once knew.
WhosYourDaddy: That’s all the info I get?
BrownEyedGirl: You know him, okay? You’ve mentioned him to me before.
WhosYourDaddy: Are we talking about your ex-husband?
BrownEyedGirl: No.
WhosYourDaddy: Someone you met before that?
BrownEyedGirl: Yes.
WhosYourDaddy: This is driving me nuts, Mary. Tell me who you’re thinking about.
BrownEyedGirl: Tomorrow would’ve been our anniversary.
WhosYourDaddy: Is it Malcolm Turner?
Bingo. He knew about the anniversary.
WhosYourDaddy: I’m right, aren’t I? It’s Malcolm.
BrownEyedGirl: Maybe.
WhosYourDaddy: I am.
BrownEyedGirl: Okay, I’ll admit it. But if you talk to him or anyone who knows him, please don’t say anything. He’s no good for me. Even if he’s single, I’m determined to leave him in the past.
Sebastian hoped he wasn’t being too obvious. Malcolm wasn’t stupid. But he was vain and arrogant enough to believe he could cheat on a girl, break her heart and have her pining for him fifteen years later.
WhosYourDaddy: You’re telling me you’re still in love with Malcolm?
BrownEyedGirl: I don’t know what I’m saying. It’s late, and I’m not making sense.
WhosYourDaddy: It makes sense to me.
BrownEyedGirl: It does?
WhosYourDaddy: There’s someone I can’t forget, either.
BrownEyedGirl: Who?
WhosYourDaddy: You.
BrownEyedGirl: So what about this weekend?
WhosYourDaddy: I’ll let you know.
BrownEyedGirl: When?
One minute turned into two, which turned into five. Sebastian was afraid he’d lost him, for tonight, anyway. He knew he should sign off and go to bed; he could hardly keep his eyes open. But he tried to stay awake, just in case…and ended up falling asleep at the desk.
Six
Should he write back? Or wait for the night to pass and hope Mary would be less demanding the next time they talked?
Malcolm spent another twenty minutes in front of the computer on the kitchen table he’d rented along with the other furniture, trying to decide. He didn’t want her to be as indifferent as she’d been before. Their recent con
versations had been far more stimulating; he liked that she’d revealed her feelings for him. Despite her anger over what he’d done with Sherry Stewart, he’d known the chemistry between them was still there. But he wasn’t sure where to take the relationship now that Mary was responding as he’d hoped. He hated to walk away, but he couldn’t let her see him.
