by Jason Cheek
Whipping around, I blocked the doorway with my body and began blasting the charging Goblins as fast as I could. My Mana dropped like a rock making me swear at my impatience. It probably would have been better to wait for our Mana to regenerate before rushing headlong into the room, but I hadn’t wanted to risk being caught in the hallway by the rest of the zombies if they came back. I did my best to spread out my remaining shots between both targets until my Mana ran dry, or at least until I was down to my last 80 points. Enough for another Frost Nova if the battle lasted that long. I’d thought my presence at the exit would make the naked Goblins head back for their gear, but the nasty buggers just lowered their heads and charged as I unsheathed my blade.
There’s something about fighting naked opponents that just freaks a person out, especially when they seem to be focused on dry humping your face. The extra movement speed from not being weighed down really made a difference. Instead of connecting with my shield bashing, the charging Goblin just sprang over my shield like it was nothing. I ignored the naked, biting Goblin clutched at my head as I body checked its partner into the stone of the archway before it could get past me. Shrieking in rage, the second little bastard climbed up my back like a monkey hopped up on crack as I flailed about wildly. A blade pierced my gut as I head-butted the naked Goblin hanging on my face. Before I could try to figure out where the hell the creature had the blade hidden away, the Goblin on my back dug its claws into my neck as I Shield Bashed the naked, sword-wielding Goblin in the face.
Dropping my sword and shield, I flailed at my face like someone driving at night that suddenly found a one inch thick spider on their face. It was ugly and embarrassing. Especially the high pitched shrieks that came from my mouth as I clawed at both Goblins in desperation. Although it felt like an eternity, it took less than five minutes for me to tear the Goblins apart with my bare hands. To be honest, I probably did more damage to myself then the Goblins had with their biting and clawing, but at least they were dead. Panting heavily over the two dead corpses, I tiredly leaned back against the archway and looked up at my audience of two.
“Have you ever heard a noise like that before?” Keela asked her friend while trying not to laugh.
“I have.” Ulia chipped in arching her eyebrow. “Sounded just like a baby rabbit screaming.”
“Or a kitten crying for milk,” Keela added with a laugh. “To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get mixed up in that mess.”
“Yea, naked Goblins are not my thing either,” Ulia said with a twinkle in her eyes as she gave me a hand up. “Good job blocking the stairwell. I saw them charge you, but couldn’t get to you any faster.” She turned suddenly serious as she looked over my wound. “You’ll want to heal yourself, or that’ll just worsen. Goblins aren’t known for their cleanliness.”
“Thanks,” I said dryly, casting a quick heal. My wounds disappeared five seconds later with a flash, although it didn’t take away the humiliation and horror of being skull humped by two dirty green bastards. Looking around the room, I saw that I was the only one that had taken damage. Except for a couple of minor wounds, Ulia and Keela were good and already picking through the loot, or at least what little there was.
The dropped loot was relatively basic. Mostly a mix of boiled or braided leathers and Goblin war blades. While the gear was decent for a level 25, it wasn’t anything to write home about. Ulia had added a dagger to her armament, while Keela grabbed a sword and dagger to go with her spear. I grinned as both women lined up by the exit preparing to leave as I began gathering up the remaining gear.
“Where do think you’re going?” I called out as they both women paused to look back at me in surprise. Nodding towards the humping Goblins discarded gear, I cracked a smile. “You’re not finished yet.”
“What, you need help lugging some gear?” Ulia asked with a frown.
“Why would you even want any of that smelly junk?” Keela added, her nose squinched up in disgust.
“No and no,” I answered grinning wider. “You guys need to get suited up?”
“Suited up?” Keela asked with a look of pure horror on her face as Ulia’s frown deepened even further. Her voice raised an octave with every word as she waved a hand up and down her sexy, lithe body. “In what land do you think I could ever pass for a Goblin scrub?”
Ignoring both women’s indignant looks, I roughly tossed a set of boiled leather chestguard and leggings to both of them along with the long hide cloaks. “Unless you want to stay here and meet up with the relief guards or be the next item on tonight’s dinner menu, I suggest you do your best to look as Goblin as you can.” I cut off their angry responses with a slash of my hand.
“Look, you wanted to save the rest of our people and find the children before the Goblins lick their bones clean, right? Well, this is it. The clock is ticking, so stop your bitching already and get suited up.”
For a second, I thought for sure they were going to be obstinate and refuse to dress up as their enemy. It almost surprised me when they began shrugging on the leathers. Ignoring their surly looks, I breathed a sigh of relief and got to work dragging the naked bodies into a pile next to the closed door. Yea, I knew my words were harsh, but it wasn’t like we had time for a discussion. Either they were going to help me finish up these quests, or I didn’t need them.
I choked down the nasty thought going through my head, silently chastising myself for being unfair. Even with everything these women had been through, they’d remained loyal companions and had my back through every encounter we’d faced, and, if we survived this quest, my relationship with the NPCs of House of Kayden would only be that much stronger. Besides, I wasn’t about to let them get eaten by a bunch of Goblins for not understanding modern warfare. I was just glad they seemed to be taking my lead. Otherwise, I had no idea what I would’ve done if they’d refused.
Going to the doorway, I listened to the echoing shrieks coming from the floors below. Each animalistic cry drove shivers up my spine. Was Neysa still alive? Could she even respawn after being ripped to shreds and eaten by zombies? Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to think logically. I wasn’t going to lose my companion here. I’d find a way to get her out of this underground crypt one way or another, that I promised.
Urgently my eyes focused on the interface where I could see her health and mana bars. Seeing that her Hit Points were still in the red, I breathed a sigh of relief. She was still alive. Mentally I chastised her for putting me in an impossible situation. “How the hell was I going to get her out of this mess?” Pressing a thumb and forefinger against my eyelids, I tried to ease the tension that was starting to make my head ache as I tried to think up a plan to help my pet. There was no way we could face the hordes of undead that practically filled the floors below. Besides, how the hell were we going to escape with everyone now that our exit was filled with packs of feral undead?
The tension behind my eyes suddenly lessened as my eyes focused on the Goblins corpses stacked by the door as an inkling of a plan began forming in my head. The wolfish smile that suddenly spread across my face made both women take an unconscious step back when they saw it. Closing the door and dropping the thick, oak bar back into place. I began striding across the room towards the stairs. Without looking back, I called out over my shoulder.
“Let’s go, ladies; we have some prisoners to save.”
The stairs went up four flights and let out into a large foyer that was packed full of Goblins. The freaking green bastards were passing through a set of massive wooden doors to the keep on their way to the central chamber on the other side of the entranceway. Backing away from the entrance, I dug out one of the Goblin cloaks I’d recovered from my inventory. Donning the cloak, I drew the long hood over my head making sure my face was fully hidden. Making sure both women had followed suit; I crept up to the opening once again while keeping my back pressed against the wall as Ulia scooched up beside me. Keeping my eyes on the Goblins passing by, I spoke softly.
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��Where do you think they’d be keeping the prisoners?”
“No idea. I didn’t see them outside anywhere. So, either they are on display in the Great Hall or locked up somewhere on the floor above.” Ulia replied just as quietly. In my peripheral, I saw her jerk her chin towards the far side of the foyer. “See that stairwell? There’s one on either side of the entrance. If we could make it to the stairs, we could see into the Great Hall-“
“And be in a position to search upstairs if needed.” I cut Ulia off finishing her sentence as I silently nodded to myself. Turning back to Ulia and Keela, I made sure their Goblin cloaks were pulled up tight around their shoulders and that the hood hid their faces completely as I spoke hurriedly. “We’re going to make our way to the stairwell on the right side of the Great Hall. I’ll go first. Make sure you keep behind me. Stand up straight, keep your shoulders out and your head down.”
“But we don’t even look like Goblins! We’ll be-” Keela’s eyes widened in fear as she hissed urgently.
“It doesn’t matter,” I said, cutting her off mid-sentence. “Look at how many Goblins are out there. No one will notice us. Just move as if you belong, and we’ll be fine.” I caught Ulia’s eye. “You take tail-end, Charlie.”
“Tail-end what?” Ulia asked questioningly.
“Just take up the rear,” I said rolling my eyes. “Keela, stay behind me.” Seeing both women’s tense shoulders, I snapped at them angrily. “Stand up straight … that’s it. Now relax your shoulders and act like you belong here. That’s it.” I said confidently. Glancing over my shoulder at the foyer full of Goblins, I turned back meeting both women’s eyes. “Now keep your heads down and follow me.” Without looking back, I stepped out confidently into the room.
The stench of Goblin was nearly overwhelming as I stepped out of the alcove and slid into the flow of mobs heading towards the massive entrance of the Great Hall. Thankfully we weren’t the only ones cloaked. Here and there, mixed throughout the crush of mobs, I saw other black armored figures wearing deeply hooded cloaks. Also, even though my size was greater than most of the average Goblins around me, there were a number of level 32 and 33 named bosses mixed in with the crowd that were just as tall as I was.
Blanking my mind to the threats of discovery, I moved along with the Goblins as if I were meant to be there. My stride shortened to that of the creatures around me as I unconsciously began to imitate the odd motions of their steps. The whole thing reminded me of the part-time job I’d had one summer with UPS delivering packages. Getting into buildings that required security badges or passing through manned front desks at first had been a major pain in the butt, but within the first week, I quickly learned that knack for passing through almost any security. The secret was simply having the right uniform and acting as if you belonged. Using that combination, I swear I could enter into almost any building I wanted.
Peering out from the bottom edge of my hood, I watched the stone archway to the Great Hall getting closer and closer. I did my best not to worry about the two women behind me. There were no other choices left within the time limit we had for the quest at this point. I guess we could have waited for all of the mobs to pass by, but if we did that, then we’d really stand out. No, the best course of action was to use the crowd as a distraction to make our way to the upper levels of the keep. Controlling my breathing, I eyed the stairwell on the far right side of the massive double doors of the chamber. The guards were busy shoving and cursing at the mass of Goblins in their guttural language to get them moving through the doorway more quickly. One of the named Goblins took offense at the rough handling as a scuffle suddenly broke out ahead of us.
My heart felt like it was about to leap from my chest as I made my move. As the crowd began to slow down and jumble up around the spreading ruckus, I casually strode away heading towards the stairwell with my back straight and my shoulders back. I saw the girls in my peripheral vision take up a position a step behind me to either side as we crossed the twenty yards towards the stairwell. Any second I expected a guttural voice to call out in challenge as sweat ran down the hollow of my back. Either we’d make it, or we’d become part of the festivities. I prayed silently to whatever gods were listening that none of the mobs would take notice of our feet. We’d wrapped out boots in leather strips like the Goblins, but that was a spotty disguise at best.
The blood thudded in my ears with every beat of my heart as I counted down the steps … twenty … twelve … ten … nine … eight … letting out a ragged breath I hit one as my foot hit the first step. Luckily, the stairwell was steep. By the time I hit the tenth step, I glanced back over my shoulder. Seeing that we were well hidden from the foyer below, I threw my back against the wall signaling to Keela and Ulia that we were good to go as both women joined me breathing a deep sigh of relief.
Looking once more in the direction of the foyer, Ulia shook her head unbelievably. “I can’t believe that worked.”
“I think I’m going to be sick,” Keela added weakly with her eyes still squeezed shut breathing deeply. “How I ever let you guys talk me into something bat-ass crazy like that, I’ll never know.”
“It was because of the children. Seriously though, you both did well.” I said, giving an encouraging smile. “Now, you want to take the lead Ulia?”
“Yea, follow me.” Standing up straight, Ulia took the lead. The stairs ended another ten steps up just around a bend that let out into a long corridor that looked to run the entire length of the Great Hall which had to be a good fifty yards in length. Long slats studded the corridor that faced into the room. Each was a good six yards high and a foot wide. Crouching low, we hugged the back wall as we quickly made our way halfway down the corridor. Coming to a stop, Ulia began creeping up to the slat across the way as I signaled Keela to keep watch over the way we were headed, while I kept an eye behind us. The corridor was a death trap waiting to happen. I figure my freeze would work best to keep any runners from getting away, but with the open slats to the Great Hall, we’d be trapped like rats.
“Crap, I see them!” Ulia’s urgent hiss broke my chain of thought as she began swearing up a storm. Seeing my questioning look, she backed up and nodded to the slat. “Take a look for yourself.” Giving her a grim nod, I scooched up and took a look down into the Great Hall.
“Fuck me!” I muttered, feeling like someone had punched me in the gut. What I saw made me once again question the need to complete this quest. Almost the entire 50 square yard room was filled with trestle tables with a stench that was beyond belief. Everywhere I looked there were humanoid bones scattered across the floor, dried-up pools of blood, chunks of rotting flesh and piles of excrement. A good two-thirds of the room was already filled with dirty, green Goblins clamoring for their drinks, except for in the very center where ten, crying children were chained by the neck to the stone floor.
Focusing on the various Goblins shouting out at each other as they waited for whatever this was to start, I began swearing once again as I went through a random sampling of the average levels and titles of the forces within the room: Spleeneater Strike Leader level 30, Plaguespitter Worge Leader level 32, Bloodclaw Hunt Leader level 28. “Freaking-A, we have the army’s entire command structure down there!”
Immediately, Ulia and Keela peered over my shoulder as my mind raced to figure out how the hell I was going to save those children below. Nightmare quest my ass. Should have been listed as a demi-god level quest or something just as apropos. Slowly my eyes took in the slowly filling room. Every mob entering was like a grain of sand filling up a proverbial hourglass. Was this some randomly generated AI quest or was this whole scenario planned by some sick, mofo game developer? The thought filled me with rage as I seethed inside. I wasn’t about to lose everything I’d been working for just because some asshole decided to make an impossible quest line. Somehow there had to be a way to complete this quest! Stepping back from the slat, I met both women’s eyes.
“We’re running out of time,” I said, urgent
ly gripping Ulia’s shoulders. “Can you think of anywhere else where there might be survivors being held?”
“I think so. That is if any of them are still alive.” Ulia answered uncertainly as her eyes teared up in despair. “We’re not going to be able to save them, are we?”
“Don’t say that!” I snapped angrily. “It’s not over until the fat lady sings and sometimes not even then.”
“What fat lady is singing?” Keela asked suddenly confused. “Is she nearby?”
“There’s no fat lady. It’s just a saying from where I come from. Now I need the two of you to focus on the task at hand-”
“But, what does it mean? How is it even relevant?” Keela cut me off mid-sentence.
“Gah!” I nearly screamed in frustration. “It means I have a plan.”
“You have a plan for us to take-on over a hundred high-level Goblins?” Ulia asked incredulously, looking at me like I was insane.
Closing my eyes, I began counting down backward. Ten, I’m supposed to save them not kill them. Nine, I really need their help to complete my quest. Eight, women can’t help but complain. By six I got control of my temper and was able to open my eyes once again. Looking at both women, I spoke evenly. “I know the situation looks hopeless, but you both have trusted me. Up till now and I haven’t steered you wrong. So, trust me now. On my honor, I promise either I’ll save the children or die trying.”
My words seemed to get both women back on track as they settled down and met my gaze head-on. “What do you need us to do?” Ulia asked without hesitation.
