by L. L. Ash
“You’re not my equal.”
“We can be different but still equal. I don’t have to drink blood to be equal.”
He lifted an eyebrow.
“So if I were a vampire you’d treat me different?”
“Marginally.”
“So being the mother of your child isn’t enough for you.”
Calix sighed, closed his eyes and rubbed at them with his fingers.
“And I have to ask, when will you get your next mate? Hm? When will I be tossed aside? If I think you treat me like crap now, I don’t want to see when you get a girl who’s nicer and more obedient. Maybe you’ll just turn me into a blood slave.”
“Absolutely not,” he said strongly, adamantly. “My mates remain my mates. Always with the best and treated with respect.”
“By everyone but you.”
“I’m trying, Lily,” he said, starting to sound like he was getting frustrated.
“You’re not trying very hard.”
“Neither are you.”
He definitely had a point.
I took a deep breath.
Remembering his words from before, I could either choose to be the victim, or in his words, a goddess.
I sat beside him on the settee and put my hand on his knee.
“You’re right. I’m not. We can’t meet at the middle if neither of us are giving more than five percent. What do you want from me, Calix? What would be meeting you halfway?”
He stiffened, as if surprised. I’m sure he was.
“Obedience, for one,” he said. “And a little pleasantness would be helpful.”
“Pleasantness? What the hell does that mean?” I smiled while giving him the stink eye.
He smiled back and my breath caught. Holy cow… that was a genuine smile. And God was it beautiful.
“I mean this. This is pleasant.”
“So I’m still allowed to tease you?”
He lifted an eyebrow.
“Still? When did you start?”
Good point.
“But yes. As long as you obey, and you don’t mean your jests in malice.”
“You use funny words.”
“I know.”
Zeus come strike me with lightning… He winked at me.
We sat there in silence for a minute, but this time it was weirdly comfortable.
“What would you require of me, Antheia Mou, if I require obedience and pleasantness.”
“Hmm… I haven’t thought about it.” I shrugged.
“Surely you know what your own basic needs are.”
I shrugged again.
“Well, that stuff you pulled on the plane? Yeah don’t do that?”
He grinned, mischievously again.
“I don’t know, you seemed to have enjoyed yourself.”
“I don’t want to enjoy myself unless I want to enjoy myself. It’s like you raped me with an orgasm.”
His smile evaporated.
“I didn’t touch you.”
“I know it sounds stupid, but that’s how I felt.”
“You realize what the definition of rape is, correct? You’ve charged me with it multiple times and yet I’ve never once forced myself on you.”
“Fine, maybe I’m using the wrong wording. But it was an invasion of my privacy.”
“Privacy? You have no privacy from me, Lily. Why would you imagine you did?”
“Because I’ve always had privacy. It’s something we mortals treasure and cherish.”
“That’s absurd. There’s no such thing as privacy. You’ll learn that soon enough. It’s just an imagination thought up by mortals.”
“Then leave me with my imagination.”
He shrugged.
“Fine. But you’ll have to tell me what these imaginings are. I can’t read your mind and know what you expect.”
“That’s fair. And secondly, I need you to respect me.”
“Respect is not given, it’s earned, Antheia Mou.”
“So how am I supposed to earn it?”
“By being respectable, keeping your word. Being dutiful and steadfast. By being devoted to your mate; showing loyalty.”
“And I’ve done absolutely none of those things,”
He lifted an eyebrow at me.
“So I work on it, and you’ll work on giving me respect?”
“That’s a fair exchange.”
Again, silence.
“Calix?”
“Hm?” he hummed, sounding deep in thought.
“How did you even manage that, anyway? On the plane?”
He smiled again, a small smile.
“We are mates, Lily. And I have a thousand years experience in the matter.”
“But that’s not supposed to be possible.”
“How would you know what is possible and impossible? You were a virgin not a month ago.”
“Maybe a virgin, but I wasn’t innocent.”
“Then why did you remain untouched?”
Did I try to explain to him? Would he understand or would he be disgusted?
“There are reasons, Calix. Let’s just leave it at that.”
“Is this one of those instances that I should respect your ‘privacy’? Or may I demand to know what you’re trying to hide?”
“It’s disturbing and I don’t like to think about it.”
“What can be so disturbing about your virginity?”
I bit my lip.
Fine, I’d tell him.
“You remember me telling you about my mom?”
“The woman who would kill her own child? Yes.”
“She uh...One time I forgot one of my underwears and left it on the floor. I had just started my period and it was streaked just a little bit with blood. Mom found it and she… she uh… She demanded to see if I was still a virgin.”
“What?” He looked confused. “In this age? How old were you?”
“Fifteen.”
“What mother would do that?”
“She’s kind of a religious zealot. She doesn’t have a particular religion she goes to, she just makes it up as she goes. She told me since I was a baby that only virgins ‘til marriage will be saved. So she kept a close eye on me after that. Every week she would do a test, just to make sure. It was painful.”
“Your mother is delirious.”
“Believe me I know. I’ve known for a long time. But I couldn’t leave my brother and sister to deal with that. Not on their own.”
He nodded.
“I understand that. And I respect you wanting to care for your siblings.”
“So that’s why. That and I hadn’t ever found someone I wanted to have sex with.”
“Until my brother?”
I shrugged.
He didn’t need to know that he was the reason why it had all changed.
“I talked with your mom, while I was there.”
“Did you?” He seemed pleased. “She is a strong woman.”
“She is. She told me about what happened with her and Papa.”
“And you found it distasteful too, I imagine.”
“A little,” I agreed. “But it was also kinda sweet, in a disturbing way.”
He gave a breathy chuckle.
“Welcome to the world of vampires, Antheia Mou. Most things involving my kind are distasteful and disturbing. It’s something you’ll have to get used to.”
“I guess so.”
We both were quiet, me looking at my hands in my lap, Calix sitting back, looking blankly across the room.
“So...can I get dressed now?” I asked, attempting humor now that the mood had grown heavy and a little volatile.
“Please do.” He nodded, standing. “I’ll have food brought in to you.”
“We won’t sit at the table?”
“I don’t sit at a table while I eat.” He looked into my eyes.
“Will you eat from me?” I asked.
I wasn’t sure where I stood with him, and I just wanted to know what to expect.
“No, Lily. You don’t have to worry about enduring my touch for a while. I can still smell him on you; he’s in your eyes, in your heart— I need time.”
“Why are you so upset about it, Calix? You said before you left that you wouldn’t keep yourself for me. Why are you mad at me for doing the same?”
Calix stood, taking a few steps toward the door before turning around, his eyes wounded.
“I said that to anger you, Lily. I was hurt that you would leave me and I wanted to hurt you back. I’ve not touched another woman since you became my mate.”
My jaw dropped.
“I don’t tell you that to make you feel guilt. You either will or you won’t when it comes to that. I tell you so that you know I take this seriously. I will respect the rules and boundaries we agreed upon whether you do or not.”
“Calix...”
He held up his hand to stop me and left the room, the door closing with a gentle click.
Wow, now I felt like a total bitch. It seemed a little strange to consider the idea of fidelity to the vampire who kidnapped me and forced me to be his mate, but the idea that he had remained faithful to our decision made in lust kind of had my mind blown. A man who had everything, including a house full of women who would give themselves to him happily, had remained celibate three weeks while I was gone… and who knew how much longer if I hadn’t gotten caught with Ariston… It made me feel low. Really low.
Dropping my towel, I dug through the trunk and found some panties, shorts and a tank top with a shelf bra in it. Slipping them all on, I laid on the bed to stew. I was angry and sad and frustrated and… I was a lot of things. It was high time I sorted through my feelings, and it seemed I also needed to reassess my first opinions of Calix. He was turning out to be a rather deep, unpredictable man.
That he had confided his hurt in me shocked me, but I also felt responsible to safeguard his feelings, proving his confidence to be well placed.
I wanted him to forgive me. I needed him to.
Chapter Eight
It wasn’t long after when Janie came into the room and set down a tray. Whatever it was smelled freaking amazing.
“Hey girl,” Janie grinned at me. “Missed you!”
I smiled and got out of bed, moving toward her to give her a hug.
“It’s been a long three weeks,” I told her, squeezing her tight.
“You’re telling me. Calix has been butthurt since you left. Moping around when he wasn’t snapping and yelling at everyone over everything.”
“So he missed me?” I asked, feeling hopeful in my belly.
“I guess so. Nothing else makes sense.”
Janie waved her hand around.
“Then again, nothing with that man makes sense. Guess it must be the vampire bit. Bluh.”
She stuck her tongue out in distaste.
“You haven’t met my cutie yet! I heard you were back and told him to meet us in the servant’s area. If you want to meet him.”
“Sure!” I was excited to see her boyfriend.
At least some good had come out of the whole mess.
“Meanwhile, Calix got you some mean grub! I’m kinda jealous.”
I peeked over her shoulder, curious now. Together we went to the table and I saw the platter. Pizza.
Oh God I was going to get so sick.
I grabbed one piece and stuffed it into my mouth like a starving person. It had been weeks since I’d had real American food.
Janie watched, licking her lips and I grinned.
“So, if you don’t help me eat this, I’ll inhale it 'til I puke.”
“As you wish, Mistress,” Janie laughed and pulled a piece.
We downed it together, until only two pieces remained.
“I don’t think I could eat another bite,” I moaned, leaning back on the settee, thinking the vamps had something to the whole laying and eating thing.
“Me either.” Janie was laying next to me, holding her stomach.
“There’s still two left. I don’t want to waste it.”
Janie’s eyes lit up all over again.
“Can we bring them with us? When we go to the servant’s quarters?”
I nodded.
Between the two of us we managed to flop ourselves over, stand up, and pack the last congealed slices into a cloth napkin.
Janie led the way down the hall again. A very, very long hall. Down a set of stairs, then down another hall.
“Holy hell, this is like a mile away!”
“The caverns down here are extensive. There’re three stories, with royalty on top, us in the middle and the clan protected on bottom.”
“Wow. So I’ve hardly seen any of it.”
“Right. You probably won’t. Humans don’t go down to the bottom, and you’re a royal’s mate. You shouldn’t hang out with the help.”
“Like I’ll stay away.” I laughed. “You’re the only other humans around here. And I refuse to hang out with just Calix. As it is, he doesn’t want to be around me right now anyway.”
“He’s so weird,” she shook her head and turned, stopping in front of a door. “Ready?”
I nodded.
She opened the door and immediately I heard all the voices. At least a couple hundred people were milling around the huge rec room. Couches and TVs were set up, even some exercise equipment sat in the side of the room.
“There he is!” she pulled my arm and I followed, absorbing the picture around me.
“Manny!” she yelled, going up to someone who looked vaguely familiar.
They hugged then were immediately caught in a liplock.
Oh God. Manny.
“Lily, this is my boyfriend!” Janie grinned after she’d come up for air.
“Hi!” he said brightly. “Janie talks about you all the time, but we haven’t been properly introduced.”
“I’ve seen you, though,” I told him slowly. “With Nyx.”
He nodded vigorously.
“That’s right! Didn’t think you’d recognize me. We only saw each other the once.”
“But Janie… he...”
She waved her hand around.
“He’s a blood slave, Lily. He doesn’t get much choice in the matter. Besides, when he does get a choice he comes to me. Hah Baby?”
He grinned at her, kissing her again.
“So that’s...normal?”
Manny shrugged.
“Nyx likes me. Makes my life better because of it, actually. Then I only have her to feed, not the mass downstairs.”
He shuddered.
“The mass downstairs?”
“The vamps,” he specified.
“You guys feed the vamps?”
They both sobered.
“That’s mostly why they keep us. Until we’re slowly bled dry.”
My stomach clenched, making me a little sick.
“Anyway…” Janey shook her head. “Manny, Lily got pizza. She brought some for you.”
“Pizza?” he looked shocked.
Janey grinned, handing over the napkin.
“Fuck this is good,” he moaned after the first bite of cold pizza. “Thank you, Mistress.”
“Lily, please. I don’t like the whole mistress stuff. I’m just a human too.”
They smiled a sort of patronizing smile.
As he ate I looked around again.
“Who are all these people?” I murmured, in awe of the strange ecosystem around me. “I can’t believe they didn’t notice this many people going missing...”
“They didn’t. Most of the people here grew up here. There have been generations of humans here for something around six hundred years.”
“But...no. Europeans didn’t discover America until 1492. Columbus.”
Manny shook his head.
“The Norwegians found it first. Their resident Vamp told Master Demetrios about it and shortly thereafter he sent Calix to settle in before the Europeans came. Calix settled vamps in spots all down from Canada to Chile. He still goes on trips to
visit them. Takes a couple of us with him when he does.”
“Oh my God… I had no idea...”
“Yeah, being here as long as I have, I’ve learned that the history they teach in school isn’t exactly correct. The vamps run governments in the background and nobody knows. I even heard a rumor about Master Demetrios and Alexander the Great. Maybe you should ask Calix about it. See if it’s true.”
I shrugged.
“So, Lily, what do you—”
With one loud bang every voice went silent. Heads turned, then everyone in the room dropped to their knees, bowing their heads until they were touching the ground. Everyone but me.
I looked around me until I saw Petrick at the door, Calix stepping into the room, anger written all over him.
Shit...what did I do now?
“Lily,” his voice echoed through the cavernous hall. “Come.”
My feet were moving before it even registered.
When I got closer he turned, leading me out of the room.
As we left I heard Petrick’s voice call “Carry on.”
Calix kept walking, I kept following until we were upstairs again, and he was leading me back to the bedroom. Once inside, he pointed to the settee chair, still obviously angry.
I sat silently.
He took a deep breath, pacing the room a couple times until he stood in front of me, then crouched on his haunches, looking into my eyes.
“Thank you for obeying, Lily.”
“What?”
“I said, thank you for listening. I can see you are trying.”
The words were awkward and sounded painful coming out of his mouth.
“What did I do this time?”
He looked heavenward.
“God, which do I start with?”
“No way, it couldn’t have been that bad. I didn’t do anything!”
He took a heavy breath again.
“First, you were in the servant’s quarters. You should know better, Lily. By all intents and purposes you are a royal now. You may not hang out with the servants. You may not be friends with the servants.”
“Then who am I supposed to talk to in this hellhole?” I demanded.
He pinched the bridge of his nose again in frustration.
“You gave your food to the humans. That is not acceptable, Lily. What is given to you is yours alone. The humans are on a certain diet for a reason. Besides the fact you are showing favoritism to the two you shared with. The last thing we need is jealous servants… Fuck...”
