by Liz Isaacson
She nodded and ducked into the kitchen to finish getting everything ready for dinner. Lance and Art looked at one another, and Lance shrugged one shoulder.
“I think she’ll do it,” Art said. “Give her a few days, and then call her.”
“I want to hear about Uncle Lance’s new girlfriend,” his mom said, and he spun in her direction, his heart pounding again but for an entirely different reason.
“Me too,” Art said, picking up a plate.
“You have a girlfriend?” Kristen asked. “Why am I always the last to know?”
February became March, and Lance continued his work with the high school cross-country club. He loved seeing those kids on the ranch, as they brought new life and vibrancy to it. They’d adopted out thirteen of the original twenty dogs, and Lance spent a lot of time trying to find other animals they could leash and take to the park.
Some of their dogs simply weren’t ready for something of that magnitude. He managed to find five more, and everyone assured him that they didn’t all need a dog to run with. They had twelve among them, and that was great.
If he didn’t drive to his mother’s to help her clean out her house, he managed to spend a little bit of time with Amber in the evenings. He was glad he had other things to occupy him though, because her texts to her mother about their relationship still burned in the back of his mind.
Not all the time, and with each passing day, they cooled slightly. He’d accepted her apology, and her explanation, but that didn’t mean he had to keep showing up to get his heart sliced and diced.
He sure did like her, and she seemed pleased to see him every time he walked into the volunteer house. But he was glad he had more on his to-do list so that he didn’t have to constantly ask Amber to spend time with him.
Foolishness hit him from time to time when he realized she hardly ever texted him first. He invited her to dinner, to eat lunch with him, to go on a quick walk with a hyper dog. He went to her house at night, or over to her office in the volunteer house.
She didn’t come to him, and as the spring rains came, Lance found himself sitting on the top step of his porch, his guitar in his hands. Strumming mindless chords, he made a conscious decision not to reach out to Amber that day. He had a full day of work on the ranch already, and he was meeting with a real estate agent at his mother’s house that evening.
He could text Amber, of course. But he wanted to see if she’d text him first. He almost scoffed at himself. At the test he was giving her, though she didn’t know it. How was that fair?
He sighed, ducked his head, and focused on the guitar strings. He didn’t want to feel frustrated in his relationship, but he did.
Memories of his other serious relationships came forward, even as he tried to push against them by singing. He focused on each word as he sang about the Savior, and thankfully, the hard times and bad memories stayed dormant.
Lance had never been one to dwell on the past, and he wasn’t going to start now. He finished the song he’d learned long ago at his father’s knee, and the resulting silence only reminded him that his dad wasn’t there anymore.
“I miss you, Dad,” he whispered into the misty sky. The wind picked up as if his dad had heard him and wanted him to know it was okay to feel the way he did.
A car turned into his driveway, and Lance blinked a couple of times before he realized it was Amber. Surprise filled him, and he jumped to his feet. After leaning his guitar against the post, he hurried down the steps into the rain.
“Hey,” she said, getting out of her car with a pink pastry box. “I know you have a super busy day today, so I brought fuel.”
Joy filled him from top to bottom, and Lance took the doughnuts from her and set them on top of the car. He swept her into his arms, enjoying the squeal of laughter as he lifted her off her feet and spun her around.
“It’s so good to see you,” he said as he bent down to kiss her.
“It’s raining,” she said against his lips, but he didn’t care. He formed his mouth to hers, a kiss in the rain exactly what he needed this morning.
She didn’t protest, and she didn’t seem to be hurrying the kiss. In fact, he broke their connection first, and said, “Let’s go inside.”
He grabbed the box of doughnuts and they both laughed as they dashed through the intensifying rain to the safety of his porch. Snagging his guitar, he led the way into the cabin, where the rush of adrenaline remained after she’d slammed the door behind her.
It wasn’t the first time Amber had been to his cabin. But he felt a charge between them that hadn’t existed in a while.
He put everything down and returned to where she stood just inside the door, wiping water from her hair. “You came to me,” he said, feeling a little out of control. He threaded his fingers through hers as he backed her into the door.
She looked at him with those sultry eyes, a hint of confusion there. “I came to you?”
“I always text you,” he said. “I always ask you out.”
She tensed, and Lance simply looked at her. “Are you worried—what are you worried about?”
“That…I don’t know.” He sighed and backed up. “Nothing. It’s nothing.” He hated the words as they came out of his mouth, because they reminded him so much of her text. If she caught the significance of them, she didn’t say.
“Lance,” she said, but he turned away and moved into the kitchen.
“Coffee?” he asked.
“No,” she said. His floorboards creaked as she joined him. She linked her arm through his and leaned into his bicep. He wanted to be strong for her. Wanted to hold her up and make her feel beautiful.
“I don’t want coffee,” she said. “I came, because I wondered if maybe you and I could sit together in church this next week.”
Chapter 12
Amber didn’t like the distance between her and Lance, and she needed to remember to write that down. She’d been talking to someone through a counseling app, and the therapist had suggested she take note of how she felt about Lance, no matter what it was.
Through her muddled thoughts, she’d realized how much she enjoyed her time with him—and how much more she wanted in a relationship with him.
She’d never done that before, and while she felt strong and brave most of the time, it had taken her almost a week to work up the courage to show up at his house with pastries and a question about church.
That he still hadn’t answered.
“It’s fine,” she said. “I know—”
“Of course I’d like to sit together at church.” He pressed his lips to her forehead. “And I think it would be great if you wanted to meet my family before my mother moves here.”
Fear struck Amber right in the back of her brain. “Sure,” she said anyway, and she wondered where the word had come from. She’d already asked to meet his mom, but he’d acted like it was too soon. A few weeks had gone by now, though, and the fact was, his mom would be moving into the cabin in the corner by the beginning of April.
Hopefully.
“Do we want to do all of that in one day?” she asked. “Church in the morning, and then dinner out at your mom’s? Everyone will be there, right?”
Lance nodded, turning to take her fully into his arms. “Yeah, everyone will be there.”
Amber pressed her cheek to his chest, listening to the strong beat of his heart. “Lance, I’ve…I’ve been kind of an idiot in the past.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I dated nine men in three years. And that didn’t even count the ones I went out once or twice.” She stepped away from him, her nerves assaulting her now. “I—I don’t know what I was looking for. I’m afraid I still might not. I—I don’t know.” She felt so mixed up. So torn in half. So put together wrong.
“I’m talking to someone,” she said. “I’m trying to make sure I don’t lose—” She clamped her lips around the words. Lance had probably heard them anyway. She didn’t want to lose him. Didn’t want to l
ose a good man, perhaps the way she had in the past.
But she didn’t want him to think she wanted to get back together with any of the men she’d dated in the last three years. She didn’t. She just didn’t want to throw him away if he was the one.
In fact, until Amber had started talking to Kevin through the app, she hadn’t even believed there was a one for her.
“Who are you talking to?” he asked gently.
“It’s through an app on your phone or computer,” she said. “I can chat or text, and he’ll call me if I want him to. His name’s Kevin Forrest. He’s licensed and stuff.”
Lance’s mouth made a tight line, but he didn’t say anything.
“I think it’s been helping,” Amber said. “And maybe, if you’d like, you’d want to come meet my family too.”
Lance lifted his eyes back to hers, his expression glinting and yet still so serious. “Really?”
“Of course.” She smiled at him, wishing he’d relax a little bit. “That’s what people do when they date.”
“That’s what people do when they’re seriously dating,” he clarified. “Are we seriously dating?”
Amber felt like he’d swung a punch at her. “I mean, I thought we were. Are. I think we are. Don’t you?”
“I do,” he said. “I just wasn’t sure you did.”
“Well, I do.” Amber took a deep breath, her mind spinning her thoughts away from her. “Lance, I’ve spent most of my life trying to please my mother. Nothing I did, no grade I ever got, no boyfriend I’ve ever had, was good enough for her.” She sighed, not really sure where she was going with this.
“She’s a great lady,” she said. “But…I don’t know. I just—I think I’ve made a bigger deal out of some things in my life, just to get her attention. Prove that I’m valuable somehow.”
“What kinds of things?”
“Oh, you know. Bad break-ups, or getting jobs I wasn’t really qualified for.” She emitted a shaky laugh. “Did you know before I came to Forever Friends, I was running a sports club?”
He blinked, a slow smile finally spreading his mouth. “You don’t even like sports.”
“No, I don’t.” The tension between them finally felt like it had cracked. “Not only that, I don’t know anything about sports. Or running a restaurant. Or hiring people. Or anything. It was a huge mess.”
She put both hands on his chest and moved them up to touch his collar. “I’m much better suited for the job here, and it was actually a relief when Forever Friends assigned me here. But I’ve been doing a pretty good job of messing up my personal life for a long time.” She tipped up on her toes and pressed her mouth to his for a quick kiss. “Can you be patient with me while I sort it all out?”
“Sure,” he said huskily. “I waited two years to ask you out. I feel like I can wait for anything.”
She giggled, glad when he finally truly put both arms around her and held her close to him—right where she always wanted to be.
The week passed quickly, and before Amber knew it, Sunday had arrived. She dressed carefully, making sure her skirt wasn’t too tight and her blouse was clean and pressed. She chose appropriate earrings for a woman her age, and didn’t put on too much make-up. She didn’t have anyone to impress at church, but afterward, Lance would be driving her to his childhood home to meet his mother, brother, and sister. His two nieces and one nephew, and all his in-laws.
Nervous was an understatement, and Amber took off the bright pink blouse she’d chosen and started rummaging through the closet for a different one.
In moments like these, she needed a girlfriend. Someone who could come over and calm her down. She had a couple of women she sat by at church normally, and she quickly pulled out her phone to text Edith.
Meeting Lance’s mother today. Which blouse goes with my navy pencil skirt the best?
She stood in front of her clothes, feeling very removed from reality. She hadn’t met a man’s family in a long, long time. Her relationships didn’t normally progress that far. Her mouth felt so dry, and she jumped when her phone chimed.
That pink one, Edith had said. How exciting!
“The pink one,” Amber muttered as she pulled it back off the hanger. She put it back on and buttoned it up with trembling fingers. She needed to learn how to trust her own feelings, her own instincts.
She didn’t understand why she couldn’t do so in her personal life. She had no problem making decisions and trusting her gut at work.
She’d just finished slipping her feet into her heels when Lance knocked on the front door. “Coming,” she called, hurrying to grab her phone and shove it in her purse. A moment later, she pulled open the door to find her handsome cowboy boyfriend standing there.
He wasn’t as dressed up as he’d been for the ballet, but her breath still hitched somewhere in the back of her throat. Lance grinned at her and extended his hand toward her. She eagerly slipped hers into his, and said, “I’ve had a new idea for goat yoga. Will you tell me if it’s stupid?”
“I’m sure it won’t be stupid.” He helped her up into the truck through his door, and then climbed in beside her.
“Full moon yoga,” she said. “With the goats, of course.”
“So yoga at night?”
“Yeah,” she said. “And only once a month. So it would be a special class. Yoga under the light of the full moon. Maybe for couples-only.”
“Do men actually come to goat yoga?” he asked as he set the truck toward the little church they attended at the base of the bluff.
“Tons,” she said. “You should try it, cowboy. You’ve been so tense lately.”
“I have not,” he said. “I just work too much.”
Amber reached over and took his hand in hers. “I know.” She squeezed his fingers, beyond happy when he squeezed back. This moment between them felt so simple and yet so real. “I’ll talk to Adele about the full moon yoga.”
“I think it sounds like a good idea,” he said. “Couples only. Like, date night at the ranch.”
“Right,” she said. “Cache is doing that cow cuddling now, and Karla totally has that geared toward couples.” Amber needed to talk to her about the idea too, but for now, she just enjoyed the scent of Lance’s shirt, the strength in his hand, the sound of him singing along with the song on the radio.
Amber sighed, realizing how very much she liked this man. She’d been going to this church since she’d relocated to Last Chance Ranch, so walking in felt normal. Of course, walking in with her hand in Lance’s was new, but no one seemed to notice.
They’d arrived a few minutes early, and Amber checked her phone while the choir sang up on the dais. She frowned at a message from Jewel. Need to meet this week. What’s your schedule like?
She tipped the phone toward Lance. “She has to text me on Sunday?”
“What does she want to meet about?” he asked.
“I have no idea,” she said, tapping quickly to tell Jewel to pick a time, and Amber would accommodate the schedule.
Tomorrow morning. First thing.
Great, Amber sent back, feeling nervous all over again. She pressed her eyes closed and sent a prayer up. Please let this be a good meeting. I’ve been doing all the paperwork right. What could it be this time?
She’d never heard a voice or felt like God had yanked her in a specific direction before. But today, sitting in the pews and waiting for church to begin, Amber felt a very keen sense that God loved her. No, she didn’t know what the meeting was about. But it didn’t matter.
God loved her.
Her feelings about relationships were all messed up and tangled. But she’d figure it out, because God loved her.
Tears sprang to her eyes, and she let the anxiety and restlessness and impatience with herself fade away under the warm blanket of that love.
Thank you, she thought, mouthing the words. Lance lifted his arm and put it around her shoulders, and she opened her eyes and leaned into him.
“Okay?” he asked.
“Okay,” she said, because she was.
A couple of hours later, she could’ve used another dose of peace in her life. She sat in Lance’s truck outside his mother’s house, a small, two-story structure that sat in the middle of a huge piece of land. Lance had called it a small farm, but Amber thought he’d underestimated.
“Here we are,” he said. “That’s the tree I planted in third grade.” He pointed to the huge maple in the front yard and got out of the truck. “It’s going to be hard to move my mother out of this place.”
Amber slid out of the truck, immediately taking his hand. Mostly for herself, but she sensed he could use some grounding too. “Why don’t you just take over the farm?”
He flinched and met her eye. “I…can’t.” He moved to the back of the truck and let his dogs out, unfolding the steps for Ribbon so the dog didn’t have to jump.
“Why not?” she asked. “You know everything about ranches and farms. You’re the best cowboy ever.” Why was he at Last Chance Ranch when he had access to all this land? “Your mother could stay here with you.”
“I’m not the best cowboy ever.” He shook his head as he smiled. “And I don’t want the farm out here. It’s not worth anything.”
“More than living in a cabin on land you don’t own.”
Lance tensed, and Amber had just decided to drop the subject when he nodded toward the front door. “There she is.” He secured his hand in Amber’s again and lifted his free hand in a wave. “Hey, Mom.”
She came down the steps, and she radiated warmth in the depths of her blue eyes. Lance’s were a shade or two brighter than hers, and her hair had probably been blonde in the past. Right now, it held a lovely shade of silver, and Amber smiled at her.
“Mom, this is my girlfriend, Amber. Amber, my mother, Jamie Lee.”
“Hello, dear.” His mom received Amber right into her arms. “You’re just beautiful, aren’t you?”
Amber grinned as she stepped back. “Thank you.”
