by Liz Isaacson
After pulling up to the house where she’d grown up, Amber simply looked out the windshield at the few cars already parked in the driveway, the yard, the building, the perfectly placed wreath on the front door. No one came to greet her, and as the moments ticked by, Amber prayed for a way to find relief from her negative thoughts about her family.
“Help me forgive them,” she whispered, letting her eyes drift closed. “There has to be a way for us to get along.”
Be kind.
The words entered her mind, part of a sermon the pastor in Colorado Springs had given several weeks ago. Amber had been trying to be kinder. To the construction crew. To Jewel, who wanted long conference calls seemingly every other day. To herself.
All of that was still something she was working on too, and a heaviness filled her that she had to try again with her family.
But she would. She could, and she got out of the car and hefted her suitcase from the trunk. “Hello?” she called as she entered the house.
Chatter and music filled the house, and it actually created a vibrant, happy atmosphere that didn’t seem like her family at all. Maybe she’d entered the wrong house. But no, the Haws family picture hung on the wall to her left, and her dad came out of the kitchen a moment later.
“There’s my girl.” He smiled at her, and Amber dropped her suitcase to hug her father.
“Hey, Daddy,” she said, taking in a deep breath of him.
“Flight okay?” he asked, stepping back. “I heard there was a lot of snow in Denver.”
“There is,” she said with a sigh. “But my flight wasn’t cancelled.”
“Well, c’mon in. JJ is dying for you to meet her fiancé.”
“Soon to be husband,” she reminded their dad.
“Don’t I know it,” he said dryly. “His parents are here too.”
Amber nodded, understanding the code. Be kind. Get along. Her mother would be mortified if Amber caused a scene, and she determined that she absolutely would not. This party would last a couple of hours, and she could do anything for that long.
Around the corner, she found JJ wearing a cute red and white party dress, almost like she wanted to be a candy cane. She tipped her head back and laughed in the falsest way possible.
Amber put that fake smile on her face and said, “Hey, JJ.”
Her sister squealed and handed her drink to the man standing next to her. Amber saw JJ coming, saw the fake smile and sparkle in her eyes too, but she couldn’t look away from that man.
He wore a cowboy hat. Blue jeans. And a simple T-shirt with a string of cartoon Christmas lights across the chest.
“You made it,” JJ said, giggling obnoxiously in Amber’s ear. “Come meet everyone.” She took Amber’s hand and led her the few feet to the group. “Hank, this is my sister. Amber, my fiancé, Hank Bell.”
“I’m so glad to finally meet you,” Amber said, still staring at him. She wasn’t sure why she was reacting this way, only that she did not picture her sister with a cowboy. Not even a little bit.
“And his parents, Phil and Eliza,” JJ said, her grip on Amber’s hand tightening. Amber shook hands with everyone, getting the message loud and clear. She squeezed her sister’s hand back and stepped away from her slightly.
“I didn’t know you were a cowboy, Hank,” she said. She’d literally never seen a single picture of him wearing any western attire.
“Oh, he’s not,” JJ said with a quick laugh that sounded more nervous than anything. “It was just so sunny today, and he grabbed the first hat he could find.”
He obviously owned a cowboy hat to grab, but Amber didn’t point that out. The mood had shifted to something awkward, and Amber turned to his parents. “Where do you guys live?”
“Alhambra,” Eliza said with a smile. “And you?”
“Oh, I’m in Colorado Springs now,” she said with a nod. “I grew up here and lived here for a long time. Just moved there a few months ago.”
“Eliza’s sister lives in the Denver area,” Phil said with a smile, each word taking the awkwardness down a notch. “We love that area.”
“It’s beautiful,” Amber said, as that had always been in her pro column.
“Didn’t you have a girlfriend there once, Hank?” Phil asked, and JJ audibly sucked in a breath.
“A long time ago, Dad,” Hank said easily, leaning toward JJ. “I lived in Denver for a couple of years with my aunt.”
“Oh, right,” JJ said, though it was clear to anyone with even one working eye that she hadn’t known that. She tossed a poison-filled look to Amber, as if this conversation were her fault.
“What do you do, Hank?” she asked. “I mean, I’ve heard a lot about you, but I’m not sure I know what you do for a living.” She smiled at him, determined to make this conversation bearable.
“I’m in agriculture,” he said, and JJ cleared her throat loudly.
“Are we ready to eat, Mom?” she asked, deftly drawing Hank away from Amber and his parents.
A sigh filled Amber’s body, but she didn’t let it come out of her mouth.
“What are you doing in Denver?” Phil asked.
“Oh, I work for Forever Friends,” Amber said, seizing onto the topic. “We’re opening a new facility there. A huge ranch for rescue animals.”
“Isn’t there one of those around here?” Eliza asked, looking at Phil. “I think Greg got a dog from someplace like that.” She glanced back at Amber. “Greg’s our other son.”
“Oh, great,” Amber said with a smile. “And yes, Last Chance Ranch isn’t too far from Alhambra. I mean, I don’t know where Greg lives.”
“He teaches high school in Pasadena,” Eliza said. “I think the school does something with the rescue dogs there?” She looked to Amber for confirmation as memories started streaming through her mind.
The rescue dogs and the cross-country team. Lance had been responsible for that.
Hank wearing that cowboy hat. Lance wore a cowboy hat.
She continued the conversation and laughed with her family through dinner. Overall, she managed to enjoy herself, though Lance never left her mind completely.
JJ and Hank left together, followed quickly by Eliza and Phil. Amber stood at the door and waved, something moving through her that took a moment to identify.
Peace. Forgiveness. Love.
She closed the door and turned back to her parents. “What a great party,” she said.
Her mother came forward and hugged her, almost the first acknowledgement of Amber that night. “It’s so good to see you. Colorado is too far away.”
“I know, Mom,” Amber said, enjoying the warm embrace from her mother. “I know.”
The next morning, she woke in the guest room that had used to be her bedroom on the second floor. The house felt cold, and she shivered under the blankets as she reached for her phone.
A text waited for her, and her breath stuck in her chest when she saw Adele’s name on the screen.
I know you’re in town for your sister’s wedding. You should come out to the ranch for Christmas Eve.
The message had come late last night, after Amber had fallen into bed, exhausted. Another message sat below it.
I mean, if you can. I know you’re here visiting family. But you’re welcome. Christmas Eve. Six o’clock, at the homestead.
Amber read and re-read the messages. She wanted to text Adele and ask if Lance would be there, but she didn’t dare. She didn’t want his presence to be a deciding factor for her.
Can I call you? she typed out quickly, sending the message before she realized how early it was.
Sure. Adele’s message came back almost instantly, and Amber didn’t hesitate. She touched the phone icon and lifted the device to her ear.
“Hey,” Adele said, fondness in her tone.
“I hope it’s not too early.”
“Are you kidding? James is up at the crack of dawn.” Pure love rode in Adele’s voice, though she was trying to make it sound like she didn’t enjoy
getting up with her baby.
“He’s got to be so big now,” Amber said, emotion choking the words as they left her throat.
“He’s a monster,” Adele said with a chuckle. “So, can you sneak away for Christmas Eve?”
“You know what? I think I can.” She smiled as she looked out the window. No snow here, and that was a definite pro for California. “You know what I’m going to ask next.”
“He’ll be there,” Adele said. “His mom too. And his whole family. There will be a lot of people, Amber, and you should come. We miss you, and we want to see you.”
She pressed her lips together, nodding though Adele couldn’t see her. “When did you know you’d made a mistake in moving to New York?”
“Oh, honey, I don’t know.” Adele sighed. “I loved it there, but it was a lot of work. I think I knew when I came back to the ranch and saw what I’d left behind.”
“That’s why you want me to come to dinner so badly.”
“No,” Adele said. “I think everyone has their own path.” She sniffled and scuffling happened on her end of the line. “He hasn’t eaten much,” she said, her words not intended for Amber.
“Sorry, I was passing James off to Carson.”
“It’s fine,” Amber said, thoughts of marriage and family right there in the forefront of her mind.
“I want you to come because I need to see you.”
“You do?”
“I need to look into your face and see if you’re happy in Colorado.”
“And what if I’m not?”
“Then at least we’ll both know.”
Amber wasn’t sure what Adele meant, but she knew she wanted to see her friends again. Feel the comfort and family spirit that existed at Last Chance Ranch.
“Your texts have been cryptic,” Adele said. “And I just need to see you.”
“I’d love to see everyone,” Amber said, and that included Lance.
“Great, so you’ll come.”
“I’ll come.”
Adele exhaled like she’d just won a major victory. “Plus, Karla’s pregnant, and she’s dying to tell everyone.” She lowered her voice as she added, “Don’t tell her I told you. I’m the only one who knows, so you have to act really surprised.”
Amber giggled, the laughter growing and growing until she and Adele were both laughing in great peals. “After that party last night,” she told her friend. “I can pretend to do or be anything.”
“Great, see in you a couple of days.”
Chapter 25
Lance put the final piece of tape on the presents he’d bought for his family. He didn’t normally go overboard, but he’d found comfort in shopping for his loved ones this year. He piled the last gift for Tia under his tree with the others. Everyone was making the journey to the ranch for the Christmas Eve dinner at the homestead.
Scarlett had enjoyed having his mother at the ranch as she started learning how to become a mom, and Lance knew his mother had helped his boss a lot over the last several months.
He had gifts for his friends that felt like family too, and he loaded those up in a small box to take down the road and hand out before dinner. Anyone who didn’t stay at Last Chance Ranch for the holidays had already emptied their stockings, and Lance had given them his gifts before they’d left for other family celebrations.
But Dave and Sissy would be there tonight, as would Sawyer and Jeri, Carson and Adele, Karla and Cache, and Scarlett and Hudson. Ames and Cook had left a couple of days ago, and Gray had quit at the ranch in October, leaving Lance as the only singleton going to the homestead that night.
Well, and his mother. And Scarlett’s grandfather, but Lance didn’t count them. He had come to a place in his life where he didn’t feel like his relationship status mattered, which was good, because he had absolutely no inclination to change it.
He thought of Amber each day, hoping and even occasionally praying that she was happy and that Colorado held everything she wanted it to. His heart had scarred over a little bit, and he could at least enjoy the presence of his friends again without the bitter, raging jealousy tainting him.
He didn’t bother knocking at the homestead, as the front door stood wide open. “I’m here,” he called as he went in, automatically turning left to put his gifts in the remaining stockings that hung along the wall, over the fireplace, and around the corner toward the living room.
Scarlett came out of the kitchen, one of her boys on her hip. “Hey, Lance.” She smiled at him. “Your mother just called and said Art had just arrived and they’d be over in a minute.”
“Great.” He finished putting the gifts in the stockings and reached for Logan. “Can I hold him?”
“You’d be doing me a favor.” Scarlett passed the seven-month-old over to Lance, and the boy reached for his hat instantly.
Lance chuckled at him and leaned his head back. “Not today, bud,” he said as Scarlett went back into the kitchen. Miles, the other twin, sat on the floor with a few toys scattered around him, and Lance bent to put Logan beside his brother. The child wailed instantly, and Lance picked him back up. “Oh, okay. I see how it is.”
“He skipped his nap,” Scarlett said from the kitchen. “He’ll probably sleep through dinner and keep me up all night.”
“Probably,” Lance said, joining her in the kitchen. “Where’s Hudson?”
“Bringing in extra chairs,” she said just as the back door opened and Hudson’s voice entered the house before he did. Carson came with him, and Lance lifted one hand in greeting for his two friends.
“Need more help?” he asked.
“You’re helping already,” Scarlett said as she stirred something on the stove. “You can’t have him, Hudson. Logan’s not crying.”
Hudson grinned at Lance and bent over to kiss his kid. “Good boy, Logan.”
Lance thought he was doing all the work, but he just smiled at the soft look on Hudson’s face.
“Did you tell him, sweetheart?” Hudson asked his wife, cutting his eyes to her and back to Lance.
“No,” Scarlett said, turning from her task in the kitchen. “I forgot.”
“How could you forget?” Carson asked as he finished unfolding the chairs he’d brought in. He faced Lance. “I’ll tell him.” He drew in a deep breath, and in that short time, Lance’s worries exploded.
“Amber’s coming,” Carson said. “Adele invited her, and she told her you’d be here, and she still said she’d come.”
Lance blinked, sure the icy feeling in his chest would subside any moment. It didn’t, and he’d have to figure out how to breathe through it. He was usually one breath away from falling to his knees and asking God for help as it was.
And now Amber was coming?
“Tonight?” he asked through a dry throat. In his arms, Logan started to babble, but he paid the baby no mind.
“In about an hour,” Carson said.
Lance needed to sit down. He’d pictured the beautiful blonde so many times over the months she’d been gone, but he was sure a different version of the woman would arrive at the homestead, and he’d be left bleeding again.
“I’m going to put her way down on the other end of the table,” Scarlett said, appearing in front of him and taking her son. She passed Logan to Hudson, but the boy fussed, trying to get back to Lance.
Lance took him again, and he immediately quieted.
“You look like we’ve hit you with a frying pan,” Hudson said.
“It’s…Amber,” Lance whispered, her name so sharp on his tongue.
“He loves her,” Scarlett said, turning to Hudson. “I’m going to kill Adele.”
The back door opened again, and Adele entered the house with her son in her arms too. “Lance,” she said as if she were surprised he was there. She stalled in the open doorway. “You told him.”
“How can you tell?” Carson asked. “Is it the shocked, wide-eyed look? The way he can’t breathe and blink at the same time?”
Lance was breathing an
d blinking, thank you very much. They were involuntary actions, after all, and that was about all he could manage to do when he allowed Amber to come this far into his mind.
“My family is coming,” he said. “I can’t just leave.” He looked at Logan so he’d have somewhere safe to focus. He didn’t want to leave. He’d been looking forward to this Christmas Eve program for weeks.
Hudson read the story of the Savior’s birth from the scriptures, and Lance’s soul got a dose of heavenly light he desperately needed. The food was always good, and he felt like he belonged.
But now…now, he didn’t belong.
“It will be okay,” Adele said, coming to stand in front of him along with everyone else. “She’s going to come back to the ranch. To you.”
“You don’t know that,” Lance said.
“Sure I do,” Adele said. “I left this place once too, when I was in love. All I needed to do was come back once.” She grinned at Lance, though her eyes did hold a bit of trepidation. “I just did you a huge favor, Lance.” She reached over and smoothed Logan’s hair over his forehead. “You tell him, baby. She’ll be back before Lance knows it.” She walked into the kitchen, and Hudson and Carson ducked their heads and went back outside to get more chairs.
Scarlett alone looked at him, and Lance didn’t know what to say. What to do.
“She doesn’t love me,” Lance said quietly. If she did, how could she have left in the first place? Why hadn’t she called or texted even once? “And I don’t love her. Not anymore.”
“I know,” Scarlett said, but her voice was false and much too high. “But we love you, Lance, and it will be okay.” She hugged him then, and Lance closed his eyes, hoping she was right.
He wanted her to be right so badly. And he wanted Adele to be right too. And he knew he’d just lied, because he’d loved Amber for as long as he could remember knowing her, and there was no way he was ready to see her after only four months.
Emotion rumbled through his chest, and he stepped away from Scarlett before she could feel it. Thankfully, his mother and brother arrived, and more kids and more people increased the noise and energy level in the homestead.
