by Fisher, Lisa
I snorted. “I can’t leave my parents’ house? What am I, in jail?”
“No, but you’re on very thin ice—so don’t push it. If people start spotting you, it’ll draw way too much negative attention. Not to mention, you don’t have a bodyguard here.”
“This town is practically Pleasantville, Devin. Who needs a bodyguard here?” I said with an eye roll.
“You do. I’m not fucking around, so either stay out of sight or I’m sending John here to babysit you.”
I didn’t want either option. “Dev, please.”
“I’m sorry, Aisley. You haven’t given us many choices.”
“Fuck,” I mumbled. “Send John here if you have to, but I’m not going to live like a fucking recluse.”
“Perfect,” he shot. “I’ll give him a call right now.”
“Great,” I said sarcastically. John was perfectly fine, as far as bodyguards were concerned. He was actually one of my favorites, since he didn’t ogle me like most of the others. The problem wasn’t necessarily, John, it was that I couldn’t walk around here without an entourage. This was exactly why I would not blend in.
And all I wanted to do was blend in until I left.
But I knew from experience that Devin Harping was relentless, so it would be better to just agree now and save myself the hassle of an argument that I would inevitably lose. That was something that made him a good manager. You never won in an argument with Devin Harping.
“I’ve got a flight to catch in two hours, so be good.”
“What, you’re not staying for dinner?”
“Don’t be a smart ass.” He gave me a sideways look, and opened the door. “And I already called Dr. Tinsley, you have an appointment at ten tomorrow. Don’t miss it.”
How did I know that was coming? Devin knew me entirely too well.
***
This was stupid. I didn’t have a problem. I shouldn’t be here. Even if I did have a problem, the two months I spent in inpatient treatment should have fixed me. I shouldn’t have to give up two more months to talk about my feelings with a stranger who had a PhD. I sat outside of Dr. Tinsley’s door, tapping my foot on the ground anxiously. I looked over at John, who arrived bright and early this morning, just as I expected. “It’s ten-fifteen, maybe she’s not even in there,” I said to him hopefully.
“Doubtful, kid.” John chuckled.
As if on cue, her door opened. “Ms. Carter, come in.”
I looked to John, praying he’d save me.
“I’ll be right here when you come out.”
I gave him a tight smile and walked into the office. It smelled like old books and coffee. I looked around at the degrees that framed Dr. Tinsley’s walls. She seemed qualified, at least. There was a table that held a coffee pot in the back of the room, complete with paper cups and packets of sugar and creamer beside it. In front of that was a couch.
How very cliché.
“Have a seat. Would you like some coffee?”
Reluctantly, I sat down on the couch. “No, I’m fine.”
“I’m glad you’re here, Aisley. It takes a lot for a person to admit they need help.”
“I don’t need help,” I said. “I’m just here because I have to be.”
“I see.” She jotted something down in her notebook, and I wondered what it could be.
“What are you writing?”
“Just taking notes, don’t worry about it.” She smiled back.
I forced a smile back. “Where do we start, Doc?”
“How about you tell me when you first started restricting your meals?”
I cringed. She was just going to jump right in, wasn’t she? “I don’t—” I started to lie. “I mean, it was never on purpose.” That might have been a lie, but this so-called ‘eating disorder’ was never supposed to go as far as it did. I was never supposed to lose that much weight, but after a while, it was hard to stop. It became hard to look at myself without feeling inadequate. Without feeling as if I weren’t pretty enough, or skinny enough, or even good enough. But that didn’t mean I had problem. I did fine in treatment. I even gained back most of the weight I had lost.
I shouldn’t have to be here.
I don’t need to be here.
There’s nothing wrong with me.
“Never?”
Well, shit… “It’s hard to remember to eat when you’re being pulled in a thousand different directions every day. It’s no big deal, I’ll just be better about it.”
“And you think it’s that easy?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
The doctor furrowed her brow, jotting more things down. “Okay. What’s it like to be back home?”
“Fine.”
“Did you miss it?”
“Burden? No.” I chuckled.
“Why not?”
“Is that a real question? This place is just a dead end.”
“Is that what you think? Is that why you left?”
Fuck me. I did not want to tell Dr. Tinsley anything about my leaving or my ‘eating disorder’.
“I left to follow my dreams. Is that a crime?”
“No. In fact, it’s very brave. A lot of people would be too scared to do that.”
I looked at my watch. “I think our time’s up.”
She gave me a look. “We’ve got at least twenty minutes left. But you are free to go, if that’s what you want.”
I stood up.
“Before you go though, I have something for you.” She jotted something on a piece of paper and handed it to me.
“What’s this?”
“It’s a support group, for people who are going through the same things you are. I’d really like you to think about going. It might be good for you.”
A support group? Yeah-fucking-right. That was the last thing I needed. There was no way in hell I would be going to that.
“I’ll see you next week, same time, Ms. Carter.”
“Great.” I made a b-line for the door, and did not look back. As promised, John was waiting patiently on the other side of the door. Part of me was hoping he had left.
“Ready?”
“Yeah, let’s go grab some food.” I decided. I would show everyone. I did not have a problem.
“Good, I’m starving,” John agreed. “I think there is an Applebee’s down the street.”
“We’re not going to Applebee’s.” I gave him a disgusted look. “That is crap food.”
He smirked. “Well, then lead us to the good food, kid.”
“All Buttered Up is the best in town,” I told him, as he hopped into the driver’s side of his rental car. I followed suit, by hopping into the passenger’s side. “Just take a right on Jackson and a left onto Main.”
Five minutes later, we were at the restaurant.
“That was quick.”
“Yeah, it doesn’t take more than a few minutes to get anywhere around here.”
John shrugged. “I love small towns.”
Gag me. “They’re something…” We got out of the car and made our way inside. I was hoping Becks was here, since she told me she was helping her parents out.
“Oh my gosh, if it isn’t Aisley Marie Carter, in the flesh.” I knew that warm voice from anywhere, and instantly smiled. John whipped around as if the place were on fire.
“Settle down, big guy. I know her.”
“Aisley, honey, come here.” She pulled me in for a bear hug.
“Cathy.”
“Rebecca told me you were home. I’m glad you stopped in.”
“Is Becks here?”
“No, she’s not serving today, sweetie. Easton’s working, though. Have you seen him yet?”
Crap. Easton works here? Funny how Becks forgot to mention that little detail. “Uh, yeah, we ran into each other last night.” I forced a smile. “How are you doing? Becks told me about what happened.”
“Oh, she worries too much, that girl. Do I look sick to you?” She gave me a stern look.
I shook my h
ead. “No, ma’am. You look great.”
“Thank you. I feel great, too. As you can see, it’s not quite the lunch rush yet, so sit wherever you’d like.” Cathy motioned around the room. “And who’s your friend?”
“John Harris.” He stuck his hand out.
“Cathy Mathieson. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Any friend of Aisley’s is welcome here anytime.” She gave John a warm smile.
He nodded politely. “Thank you, ma’am.”
“Thanks, Cathy.” I pulled her in for another hug before retreating to a table in the corner. I wanted to leave, so I didn’t have to face Easton, but that wasn’t an option. It would only serve to make me look like a freak. Besides, I could handle seeing East. No problem.
Or so I told myself. The second he was in my line of sight though, my heart told me I was a goner. My heart and those damn butterflies. I wish they’d just shut the hell up.
“Aisley.”
I smiled. “Hello again, East.”
“What can I get for you and your… friend?” He looked from me to John. Did he think we were dating? He couldn’t possibly… John was in his forties, for Christ’s sake.
“John Harris.” He stuck out his hand. Easton took it reluctantly.
“Easton Everson.”
“Nice to meet you, kid. Are you a friend of Aisley?” he asked. I kicked his leg under the table, and he gave me a stern look.
“We used to know each other back in high school.” His cold tone made me shiver.
“Hey, East? Could we talk for a second?” I looked over at John. “Alone?”
East’s jaw tightened. I was expecting him to tell me to fuck off. “Yeah, sure.”
“Hold on.” John’s voice stopped me as I started to get up. “You can’t leave my sight, remember?”
Easton frowned. He didn’t know who John was, and for all he knew, John was a grade-a controlling jerk. “We’re just going to go over there.” I pointed to a booth across the restaurant. “Promise I won’t leave your sight.”
“Okay. But I’m serious, Aisley,” John warned.
Once we were safely out of earshot, Easton spoke. “What the fuck was that? That’s the kind of guy you’re into now? He is a complete fucking douchebag, Carter.” He fumed. I missed the way he used to call me by my last name.
“Why do you care?” I shot back without thinking. Okay, so this wasn’t the perfect way to start a conversation.
“Don’t do that,” Easton said, taking a seat. “Don’t make this my fault.”
I scooted into the booth across from him. “It’s not. I’m sorry.” I frowned.
“What did you want to talk about?” He stared at me in all his green-eyed glory, a five o’clock shadow covering his jawline. “I am working, you know.”
“I have your sweater.”
He gave me an amused look. “I know. I gave it to you.”
“Right, well I’ll get it back to you.” What a stupid response. He caused me to forget everything. He was bad for me. Really bad. “Um, and I just wanted to apologize for the way we left things.”
“You’re still stuck on that?” he asked sharply. “It’s been two years. Move on, already. I have.” His admission felt like a knife to the gut.
He had moved on. Of course, he had. I never expected him to wait around for me. “I know.”
“I don’t need a ‘sorry’. I’m over it.” His words were laced with venom. I should have expected this. “Your boyfriend’s staring, so you might want to go back over there.”
I glanced over at John, who was indeed staring, then back to Easton. “Look, I was just hoping we could hang out, and catch up.”
He snorted.
“I know you don’t believe me, East, and that’s fine—but I really am sorry.”
He sighed. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m just really surprised to see you, Ais. It’s unexpected.”
“I know.” I bit my lip. “I should have called.”
His expression softened and he half smiled at me, shaking his head. “You know what? Meet me here at seven tonight.”
“Excuse me?” I was taken by surprise. I wasn’t expecting him to actually agree.
“You heard me, Carter.” He winked and got up. “I have to get back to work, now.”
“Right, of course.” The butterflies took off again. They were ridiculously relentless when it came to Easton Everson.
“And, Carter? You can do a lot better than that.” He motioned over to John with his head.
I blushed and didn’t take my eyes off him until he disappeared into the kitchen.
After two years and thousands of miles, I was still completely hopeless when it came to East.
I made my way back over to John. “See, I’m fine.”
“That’s because you didn’t leave my sight, kid.”
I blew out a breath. “Whatever.”
“Was he talking about me?” John asked.
“Uh, he thinks you’re my douchebag boyfriend.” I smirked.
John groaned and smacked his forehead. “You couldn’t correct him?”
I shrugged. It was somewhat nice to see Easton’s jealous streak. It felt like he still cared. Like, maybe he still loved me.
***
It was weird how happy my parents were to have John over. He was sleeping in the downstairs guestroom, and my parents were doing everything they could to make him feel at home.
Not that they showed me the same courtesy. But, that was probably because they expected me to already feel at home.
“I’m going up to my room,” I blurted. Dad and John were playing pinnacle in the living room. John started to stand. “You’re not coming with me to my room.”
“Aisl—”
“I don’t think anyone will spot me in my bedroom, John. You can play a game of cards, worry free.”
He gave me a stern look. “Don’t leave the house. I mean it.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m just going to shower and hop in bed.”
“It’s like six-thirty.”
“I’m tired.”
“Aisley.”
“John. Chill out, you work for me, remember?”
“Actually, I work for Hypothesis Records.”
“Technicalities,” I joked. “Really. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
“Goodnight, Dad.” I looked past John.
“Goodnight, dear.”
I felt John’s eyes on me all the way up the stairs. He knew something was up. How far would I get before he figured out I was gone?
I was about to find out.
Glancing at my reflection in the mirror, I smoothed out my hair with my hands, before climbing out the window. I made my way down the trellis just as I used to do when I was younger. Somehow, it still made me feel like a defiant teenager. I jumped the last couple feet to the ground, then sprinted off down the street.
The air was warmer tonight, and I was thankful for that. I was dressed in a grey tank top and jean shorts, nothing special, but I knew Easton liked that kind of look. He was all for the girl-next-door types. He liked the kind of girl who was pretty without trying, who didn’t wear pounds of makeup, and the kind of girl who was comfortable in blue jeans.
The kind of girl I hadn’t been in two years.
When I got to the restaurant, He was already standing there, leaning back against the wall, looking sexy as hell. He was dressed in cut off jean shorts and a black t-shirt that somehow made his eyes look ten shades greener.
“You came.” Easton smiled.
“You didn’t think I would?”
“I didn’t think your boyfriend would let you,” he said gruffly.
“East, he’s—”
“He’s none of my business, Ais. Let’s go.” He grabbed my hand without another word and led me down the street. Even before we got halfway down the block, I knew where he was taking me.
“You know it’s probably not safe in the woods at night, anymore. Times have changed.”
/> “Really? You gonna wuss out, Carter?” He gave me a challenging smile. “The sun hasn’t even set yet.”
“Err, no, I was just sayin’.” A blush crept onto my cheeks.
“Good. Now, come on.” He led me into the woods. To the same spot that we always went as kids. When we got to the old log that lay across the creek, I stopped and I wondered how a twelve year old me could have ever been afraid of it.
Easton must have notice me hesitate, because he smirked. “I promise you won’t fall in.”
I jerked my head up at him and blushed. His grin was infectious and suddenly he had me grinning like a fool. He held his hand out from his place on the log, and I grabbed ahold of it without hesitation. “I know you won’t.”
A few minutes later, we were seated on ‘our’ rock, looking out at the lake. It was a big boulder that was just big enough for the three of us to sit on when we were kids. It’s the spot we would sit and stare out at the lake. This was one thing I was happy hadn’t changed. We found this perfect spot as kids, and the three of us came out here to swim on hot days, or just to run around in the woods, and this was the spot where Easton taught Becks and me how to fish. Well, sort of. We never actually caught anything here.
One summer, when were sixteen, Easton worked for months to buy a beat up old rowboat. By the end of August, the three of us were out in the lake almost every day. I noticed it was still tied up to the same tree stump it always was.
“God, the sunset was always beautiful from here,” I said breathlessly.
“Yeah, I still come out here a lot,” he admitted.
“With Becks?” I asked. Secretly hoping for a ‘no.’
“Nah, she stopped coming out here after you left.”
“East, I’m sorry.”
“I know. You’ve told me.” He smirked.
“Yeah, but I don’t think you’re hearing me.”
“Believe me, I am.” He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s just really fucking weird seeing you in person and not on TV.”
“I know.”
“Why are you really here, Ais?” he leaned in close, whispering.
“I—” I couldn’t tell him the truth. “East,” I said, feeling my stomach flutter. I was sure he was going to kiss me.
“It’s not good for me to be around you, Carter.” He was so close… our lips almost touching. Just one little movement and his mouth would be on mine. “You make me lose myself.” And then, without warning, his lips crashed into mine. Electricity flowed through my veins, and I couldn’t get enough of his taste.
