“No, that’s fine, Leah. As soon as Sawyer gets back, Jamie and I will have to go. I have a pile of work on my desk at home.” I offered her a smile, appreciating her kindness. “If Brice comes to say goodbye, I’m liable to be here all afternoon.”
Sawyer came out of his office with his trench coat folded over his arm and an umbrella in his hand. I was already shaking my head before he reached me.
“No, Sawyer. I don’t want your coat. I’ll be fine.”
Jamie had his own umbrella; that was all that mattered.
He ignored my protests as he walked past Miss Prescott without even seeming to see her and wrapped the trench coat around my shoulders. When I tried to pull away, he stepped closer, blocking me in.
This close, I could see the faint gold flecks in his dark irises, could smell the subtle cologne that he had always worn that I both loved and hated.
Needing to be away from him, I quickly put my arms through the sleeves and pulled away from him. He offered the umbrella and I reluctantly took it, anything just so I could get out of there.
“Bye, Dad.” Jamie gave him a quick hug, shot Miss Prescott a hard glare that had her face filling with embarrassment now that she was starting to get her thoughts together once again. “Bye, Leah.”
“Bye, Jamie,” Leah called after him.
He pressed the call button for the elevator and the doors instantly slid open. I waited for Jamie to enter first, but before I could step inside, a strong hand caught my elbow. Even through the layers of clothing, I still felt scalded by his touch.
I shot a quick glance at Jamie, who was waiting patiently so he could push the lobby button. Not wanting to upset my godson, I gave his father my full attention.
“I’ll be by around seven,” he said, his eyes seeming to skim across every part of my face. When those dark eyes fell to my neck, something close to pain flashed through his eyes, making the gold flecks stand out a little more.
I jerked my arm free, hating him a little more for feeling anything even resembling he was upset over my scar.
Miss Prescott hadn’t even fazed me by her nastiness, yet one little look from this man and I felt destroyed. I didn’t let him see it, though. I refused to be a weak, meek little kitten where this man was concerned.
“He’ll be ready.”
“Ash …”
I stepped into the elevator. Memories of him saying my name like he just had, all low and needy, had always made me give in. I couldn’t. Not now. Not ever.
“Bye, Sawyer.”
Jamie pushed the button, and the doors started to close, but not before I saw the look on Sawyer’s face. The determination. The hunger.
“See you soon, Ash.”
TWO
Sawyer
THE ELEVATOR DOORS CLOSED ON Ash and Jamie, but I still stood there, willing the doors to open again to give me another moment with Ash.
It was becoming harder and harder to see her and keep my hands to myself. Seeing her so often was torture, one I knew I deserved.
Raking my hands through my hair, I blew out a tired breath and finally turned away from the still closed elevator.
Leah pretended not to notice the dark look on my face and offered me a friendly smile as I moved around her desk and headed for my office. The receptionist saw everything. I knew she would take it all to her grave if needed. That loyalty was what got her a comfortable raise every year and a bonus that made everyone—including my own secretary—green with envy.
“Sawyer,” a husky voice called from behind me. “It’s so good to see you again.”
My mind still on Ash, I ignored the woman as I kept walking. I didn’t have the time or the energy to deal with her. She wasn’t the one I wanted. Wasn’t the one who seemed to consume every waking moment of my life. Fuck, I missed Ash, and I had no one but myself to blame for not having her.
“Sawyer,” the voice sounded more demanding this time, almost whining, trying to force my attention to her. Even if I were attracted to Sharon Prescott, that whine would have turned me off then and there. She had been trying to entice me into her bed for weeks now, but I wasn’t interested.
Stopping at my secretary’s office, I stuck my head in, causing both Janice and Kayla’s heads to pop up from their computers.
The office was huge, and we could have made it into two, easily giving them each a large workspace and privacy, but they had always liked working this way, and neither I nor Brice had been in a hurry to do the remodel. Both women were in their mid-thirties and married, and they enjoyed each other’s company throughout the day. Janice was six months pregnant with her first child, though, and soon I would have to find a replacement for the woman who ran my days so smoothly. She wasn’t planning on coming back once the baby was born. Depending on who took her place, and if Kayla got along with them as easily as she did Janice, would determine if I put up that wall or not.
“Hey, Jan, will you clear my schedule for tomorrow?”
Her mouth dropped, her dark brows lifting in surprise at my request. In the last ten years, I hadn’t taken a single day off. Hell, I hadn’t taken time off when I had gotten married or even for a honeymoon.
“Are you sick?”
I shrugged. The pain of missing Ash so much was a kind of sickness, I guessed. “Something like that,” I muttered. “If something needs immediate attention, just pass it over to Brice.”
Her brows still reaching toward the ceiling, she nodded. “Okay, boss man. I’ll take care of it.”
“Thanks,” I called to her as I headed back toward my office.
Brice came out of his office before I was halfway to my own. His eyes, so much like his sister’s, went first to the woman still standing by the reception desk then to me. The irritation on his face matched my own, but unlike me, he had to be at least a little cordial with the woman.
“Did I miss Ash?” he asked as he stopped in front of me.
Despite myself, I glanced over my shoulder at the still closed elevator doors. Longing hit me like a Mack truck in the gut.
Clenching my hands into fists at my sides, I nodded. “She was out in the damn rain with no coat or even an umbrella. She’s going to get sick.”
“She’ll be fine,” Brice dismissed. “She doesn’t need a babysitter, Saw. She’s a grown woman.”
I didn’t need him to remind me of that. I knew more than anyone just how much of a woman Ash Montgomery was. I had been her first lover. The first man to explore her amazing body and learn what made her crazy with need. For two short months, she had been mine, and I hadn’t wanted to share her with the world, or even her career. Now I had to wake up every damn morning knowing I had thrown everything I could have had with her away.
Oblivious to my inner turmoil, Brice slapped me on the back as he passed. “Wish me luck that this is the last time I have to deal with Prescott’s daughter,” he said in a lowered voice. “She’s getting on my last damn nerve, man.”
My lips twisted in wary amusement at my friend’s ordeal. I wouldn’t have traded places with him for a million dollars. “Good luck. Maybe she won’t try to assault you this time.”
“Funny.” Brice turned to face me, walking backward. “I’ll give you anything you want if you do this for me.”
It wasn’t the first time he had made that offer, and like every other time, I shook my head.
Wayne Prescott’s daughter was on the hunt for a husband. When he had introduced the three of us at a charity event back in August, the woman had nearly swooned at our feet. Wayne was working with Brice on one of his pet projects, but lately, he had been sending his daughter to handle business.
“Have fun,” I called over my shoulder with a chuckle as I started toward my office once again.
I had barely sat down at my desk when my cell phone rang. Pulling it out of my pants pocket, I saw Amber’s face smiling back at me and quickly lifted it to my ear. I didn’t know many men who were still friends with their ex-wives, but my relationship with Amber had never been a no
rmal one.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Did Ash pick up Jamie yet?”
“About five minutes ago,” I assured her.
“Damn,” she muttered. “I was hoping to talk to him.”
“So just call Ash,” I told her as I turned my desk chair to look out at the stormy sky. I would never tell Amber, but I hated my office. It would hurt her feelings if I changed it, though, and I cared about her too much to do that. “She should be home in about twenty minutes or so.”
There was a pause on her end, and I couldn’t help being curious. Amber and Ash had been best friends since grammar school. They talked every day and told each other everything. Almost everything, at least, I reminded myself. My hand tightened unconsciously around my phone.
“What’s wrong, Amber?” I asked when she didn’t say anything. “Everything okay with you and Ash?”
She blew out a long sigh. “Leo asked me to marry him last night,” she finally muttered, but instead of sounding ecstatic like I would have expected, she seemed almost depressed.
“Good for him,” I told her, genuinely happy for her, while something clenched inside. If she wasn’t happy, if that bastard did anything to hurt Amber, I wouldn’t hesitate to annihilate him. “It’s about damn time he got his head out of his ass and proposed. But, what does that have to do with Ash?”
Another sigh. I knew her so well I could actually picture her biting her bottom lip in frustration.
“I’m nervous to tell Ash.”
“May I ask why?”
“Well, she wasn’t exactly over the moon when I married you, Sawyer. This time around, I actually want a wedding. A huge wedding. And I want her to be my maid of honor. But …” She broke off with a shaky exhale. “What if she says no?”
I leaned my head back against the chair and closed my eyes. I could have told her why her best friend had been so upset when we had gotten married, but neither I nor Ash had told her about our history. I wasn’t about to put it out there now. Amber would kill me, and Ash would probably help her.
“Ash would never tell you no, Amber. Just call her. You know it will make you feel better.”
“I know you’re right, but I’m still scared. She’s my best friend. Ash is like a sister to me.” Her voice was quiet, almost meek, very unlike Amber. “I want her to be happy for me. Not try to block me out like the last time I got married.”
The urge to tell her doubled. I clenched my jaw to hold back the words. My ex didn’t need to know what a complete douchebag I was, or that she had basically shattered her best friend just as much as I had when she had married me. Ash hadn’t held that against her, though. Their relationship, although tense at the beginning of our marriage, had quickly gone back to the way it had always been. But that brief period of strain between the two was now making Amber’s happy news less exciting for her.
“I don’t know what to tell you, sweetheart,” I finally gritted out.
“Ugh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to unload on you, Sawyer.”
“You know I’m here whenever you want to talk,” I reminded her. We had sucked as husband and wife. What we had shown the world had been a complete fantasy compared to what went on behind closed doors, proving that both me and Amber were pretty good actors. But, as friends, I thought we were pretty good together.
“Yeah, yeah. I know.” She laughed a little self-deprecatingly. “I’ll pull up my big girl panties now, I guess. I’ll call Ash tonight and ask her if she will be my maid of honor.”
“I’m glad.” There was another pause where I could actually feel her hesitation. “What?”
“Okay, this probably will sound really strange, but we’ve always been strange, I guess.” She was rambling, which told me she was nervous. It was kind of cute, and I grinned. “I mean, when my parents got a divorce, they threw crap at each other and tried to kill one another a few times. It was an ugly court battle when they fought over custody of me. Yet, here we are. You’re happy that I’m marrying someone else, and I think our kid has come out pretty well-adjusted, don’t you?”
I tried not to laugh. “Yes, Amber. Jamie is very well-adjusted.”
“You’re kind of the only family I have left, Sawyer.” The cute rambling was over, replaced with a sadness that sat heavily on my chest. I might not have ever been in love with the woman, but we had created life together when we’d had Jamie. Part of me would always care about her. “You’ve been there for me through a lot, and I don’t know how I would have survived without you.”
“Amber …” I groaned when I heard her tears. I had never been able to handle her tears.
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I just have a lot on my mind right now, and I’m screwing this all up.” Her next exhale was long and loud. “What I’m trying to ask is: will you give me away?”
Her request, the emotions that seemed to come with the words, hit me dead center in the chest. My first instinct was to say yes, but I wasn’t sure how Leon Allister was going to feel about me giving Amber away. He had never been a big fan of mine, or me of him. And then, when I had married Amber, he had considered me his nemesis. When he had started dating Amber not long after our divorce two years ago, some of his hostility had lessened, but there was still tension between the two of us. I saw the jealousy turn him green whenever I stopped by to pick up Jamie. I understood how the man felt, which was why I hesitated.
A full minute passed without either of us speaking. I could almost feel the hurt and disappointment flooding through the phone when Amber gave an uneasy laugh.
“I’ll understand if you say no. Really, I will. I mean … you’re my ex-husband. Why would you want to walk me down the aisle to marry another man?”
“I’d be honored to give you away, sweetheart.” I didn’t care if I stepped on Leo’s toes. He didn’t matter. Amber did.
“Really?” she whispered.
“Just tell me when and where, and I’ll be there.”
When she screamed with excitement, I had to pull the phone away from my ear or risk rupturing my eardrum. Still, I was grinning.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” She was probably bouncing up and down right then, and I was glad that I could make her so happy.
A tap on my open door had me turning to find Janice standing in the doorway with a stack of files in her arms.
“We’ll have to celebrate when you get home. Dinner with Jamie or something,” I told her, waving Janice in. “But I have to go now, sweetheart. Work is piling up.”
“I was able to cancel everything, but the meeting with Gates,” Janice informed me in a quiet voice, though Amber still heard her.
“Work piling up? You’re canceling stuff?” There was concern in her voice now. “Is everything okay? Are you sick?”
“I’m taking tomorrow off,” I told my ex-wife, shooting Janice a look that told her to keep her mouth shut. She pressed her lips together and gave me an apologetic grimace. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s obviously something if you’re taking time off work. You’re a freaking workaholic, Sawyer.”
I bit back a curse at hearing the stress in her voice, not wanting to tell her why I was suddenly in need of some time off. It wasn’t like I could tell her point blank that I was going to skip out on work so I could spend time with Ash. That would only make her curious about why, and then she would poke her nose where she didn’t need to poke it. It was going to be hard enough to win Ash back; I didn’t need Amber inadvertently fucking it up.
“I’m fine, Amber. Everything is fine. I just have a few things that need my attention outside of work right now.”
“Oh,” she murmured. “Oh! Do you have a girlfriend? Is that it? You’re dating someone and you don’t want me to know?”
The woman was maddening. “I’m not dating anyone …yet.”
“Do I know her?”
“I have to go, Amber. Have a good trip.” I hung up before she could ask any more questions.
Tossing the phone on my desk, I glar
ed at Janice, who only smirked at me as she placed the files in front of me.
“I’ll reschedule Gates, shall I?”
“Make it for next week.”
My secretary blinked at me in surprise, then nodded her head.
Gates and I were working on one of my own pet projects, one that had been seven years in the making, but that didn’t matter to me. The whole thing could have fallen through right then and I wouldn’t have cared less. With Amber gone for the next two weeks, it was the perfect time to finally pull my head out of my ass where Ash was concerned.
“Anything else?”
“Find me the best florist,” I told her, turning my attention to the work she had just set in front of me so I didn’t have to see her brows rise yet again. “Find out who has the freshest tulips.”
“Tulips?”
“Tulips. Preferably yellow and pink ones.” When she said nothing, yet continued to stand there staring down at me, I lifted my head. “Yellow and pink, Jan,” I repeated, my voice full of authority.
“Yes, sir. Yellow and pink. On it.”
THREE
Ash
MY THROAT FELT RAW AND on fire by the time we got to my apartment. I was chilled down to my bones, even with Sawyer’s coat on for warmth. I felt like pure hell, and I was sure I had a fever.
Jamie kept shooting me concerned glances out of the corner of his eye on the elevator ride up to my apartment on the twenty-second floor, but I pretended not to see.
As I unlocked my door, I could almost hear Sawyer’s voice saying, “I told you so.”
Jamie pushed the door open before I could finish pulling my key free, then practically pulled me inside. Once we were over the threshold, he turned only long enough to shut and lock the door, before pushing me through the apartment.
I frowned down at him when he bypassed the living room and kept pushing me toward my room.
“Take a bath, Aunt Ash,” he commanded in a tone that made me think of his father. “You’re shivering.”
I stopped in front of my bedroom door, refusing to be pushed another inch, and crouched down so we were on the same eye level. “Jamie, I’m fine,” I tried to assure him.
His Dirty Little Secret Page 2
