He paused. He didn’t kiss me. I kissed him. Seeing him like that, hearing those words, the fact that he cared about me even then. He had been carrying around all that blame. He needed to know I didn’t blame him for any of it. No matter what happened from that day forward, we were connected. Pieces of our souls merged out in that field and as long as we had each other nothing else mattered.
“That bastard you were forced to live with was a coward. He told the police everything and then blew his own damn brains out. My biggest regret in this life is that I didn’t get the privilege to kill him myself.” He placed his head in the crook of my neck and squeezed me hard enough that it hurt.
“I love you and I don’t blame you for anything. I just thank God he brought you back in my life.” I said.
He leaned his head onto the back of the couch and looked at me. “I figured out what hospital you were in and came to see you. You were sleeping. The swelling in your face was going down. You were even more beautiful than I dreamed possible. I promised you that night that I would always take care of you.”
I pushed the hair off his face. His eyes were red and swollen. I kissed each eyelid softly.
“I did too. The, um . . . M.S.M. scholarship that paid for your schooling.” He shrugged his shoulder. “Was me. It stands for my sweet miracle. I’ve done everything I could to take care of you. I even tried staying away.”
What the heck? I remembered the lady greeting me in the courthouse after the verdict. She had an offer for me. I was granted the M.S.M. scholarship, a scholarship for young people going through a hardship. I would receive ten thousand dollars to get my school supplies, then thirty thousand dollars a year as long as I was attending college full-time and maintaining no lower than a b average. It was a dream come true to a girl who had never had anything. It was Ethan all along. He did what he could to take care of me; take care of me from a distance.
“Why did you want to stay away?”
“Because you deserve better than me. But Privy, you’re stuck with me now.”
“Good.” I removed the shirt he still had stuffed under his nose. “Sorry.” I said with a smile and kissed the tip of it. I rubbed my hands around his neck. Immediately, I was consumed with this indescribable peacefulness.
“I love you, Privy. Not just because of how wonderful you are and, babe, you are fucking the best. But because of who I am because of you. I’m no longer a selfish bastard. I’m a man that loves his woman and strives to be a better man because of her.” He leaned in excruciatingly slow until his forehead met mine. He held me like that for two, three, maybe ten-seconds.
“I love you because you actually put effort into making me smile. I love that you’re the first person who has ever shown me that I’m worth something. I love how you take care of me, even when I didn’t know who you were. I love how you have only ever showed me gentleness. I love your cocky little walk. I love every damn thing about you. I love you, always.”
I wanted him. I’ve never wanted something or someone so much. I always knew that when the time was right I would feel it. Boy, did I feel it. I wanted nothing more than to feel him inside of me. I started removing my shirt, not moving my eyes or forehead from his. He clasped my hand.
“What are you doing?” He brought his hand to my face, caressing my cheek. He looked lost.
“I need you. I never thought I would feel this way, but I need to feel you inside of me. I’m begging you. I need this, please.”
His eyes never left mine even as I removed my top and bra. He snaked his arm around my waist and pushed his hand down my pants. “Are you sure, Privy? I need to know that you really want this. Because if we start this now I won’t be able to stop.”
I stood up, still looking him in the eyes, and removed my pants and panties. His eyes never shifted from mine as he started to undress. I’d never been that exposed in my life, or as comfortable. Ethan didn’t want to ravage my body. He wanted to love me. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw his pants fly over his head. It took every ounce of stubbornness I had not to look. He reached over and gripped my side. His lips crashed against mine and he groaned. Each individual sound he made drove me insane. Ethan lowered me to the couch, his body positioned over mine. Skin to skin and I still wanted to be closer. I locked my legs around him. I felt his erection heavy and hard against my thigh. I explored his body with my hand, sighing in pleasure as my fingers trailed down the hard ripples of his stomach.
“You naked is more unbelievably beautiful then I imagined it would be. And babe, I imagined it all the damn time. My dick hurts from wanting you so bad.” Ethan started to lower his body over mine. I flinched as his tongue flicked over my nipple. He moved to the other breast repeating the fast flick of his tongue. He raised up. Each muscle in his body bulged as he slid his hands along the inside of each of my thighs and kissed my belly button. He kissed down a line to the top of my mound. I tensed up. His hooded eyes locked with mine causing me to relax under his touch. My eyes closed as his tongue ran over the cluster of nerves already going crazy.
“Look at me,” he demanded. “Open your eyes,” he breathed into my groin.
I shook my head back and forth. He kissed my inner thigh. His fingers moved rhythmically inside me, his thumb worked over my clit. He replaced his thumb with his mouth and sucked my clit, vibrating his tongue over it. It was all too much. I fisted my hands in his hair as I screamed out his name. I had never dreamed something could feel that good. He raised back up over my body and kissed me. His lips were warm and wet and tasted of me.
“Do you want me to do that some more?” he asked. I nodded. “Then open your damn eyes.”
My eyes snapped open as he descended over the throb he created. He ran his tongue through my folds again. My breathing stopped as the feelings increased in me. Then a volcano of pleasure erupted the moment he sucked my clit back into his mouth. Ethan kissed back up my body until his hardness was wedged between my legs. He reached over for his jeans and dug in his wallet for a condom.
I gripped his hand and quickly kissed his lips, savoring my taste on him. “Have you really never been with a girl without one?”
“Never.” He let out a long groan as his forehead fell into the hallow of my neck.
“Don’t use one then, I’m clean and you’ve always been safe.” My eyes closed briefly when I felt him start to kiss down my neck and across my shoulder.
“Privy,” he whispered against my shoulder. “Are you sure?”
“I don’t want to feel dirty.” I scooted down until I was in line with him.
With that one statement, I felt the unfamiliar sting as he slid into me. I started to hyperventilate. The fear of that horrible night fought to take over. He shivered as he stroked my face with his fingertips. “Look at me, beautiful. It’s me. I love you.”
I glided my hands from his shoulders, down his backside, and felt his muscles straining as he held still in me. “Don’t stop.”
His lips searched every inch of my chest as he started to rock inside of my body. Pulling back, he stared intently. “Does it hurt?”
It was an intense pain, but a pleasurable pain. It was nothing like what I had experienced during the rape. I was with the man I loved and he loved me. It wasn’t sex, but two souls becoming one. I shook my head and bit down on my lip as the pain subsided and turned into something more mind-boggling than I ever dreamed possible.
“Forever, Privy, I would be dead without you.”
I sunk my nails into his back as his lips found mine. There was an intensity to his kiss I had never felt before. He squeezed my backside in unison with each thrust. Each movement grew rougher. I cried out, digging my fingers into his back, as I felt him tense inside me.
“Dylan, I’m going to,” he whispered, conflicted. He started moaning so loudly that I covered his mouth with mine to suppress the scream.
Between labored breaths, he kissed me over and over, the tenderest of all kisses. He kissed my lips, my cheek, my forehead, and then my nose. H
e rolled over, pulling me close to him, and locked his fingers together at my side. I sighed, totally exhausted, and kissed his chest.
“Dylan, are we crazy? Is this crazy?”
“I will have to get back to you on that.”
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
I slapped at the dresser until my hand landed upon the alarm clock and turned over, feeling across a cold, empty bed. It was only eight in the morning. I sat up and scratched my fingers across my scalp. Ethan had taken some vacation days off that week so we could be together. Where in the hell did he go?
I slipped the tee-shirt, that never made it back on the night before, over my head and walked down the hallway. Ethan’s clothes still laid strewn across the living room. I checked in the kitchen. The coffee pot set untouched. Ethan didn’t wake up until he consumed no less than three cups of coffee.
I started back to the bedroom. I had experienced the greatest night of my life. After we finally recovered on the couch, we moved to the bed, and replayed the same scene over more than once. I checked in his office, sure he wouldn’t have left me alone.
“You’re already up, Privy.” Ethan’s voice boomed from behind me.
I turned to see Ethan put down a sack of food. “I missed you.” I said.
He broke out into a shy, crooked smile and blushed. I made Ethan Asher blush. I mentally had to think to keep myself from jumping up and down. He started toward me, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. It was that magnificent body that made love to me. He slipped his hand around my waist and pulled me to him.
He bent his head to whisper in my ear. “I never went to sleep. I left to get some food and a gift for you.” He winked. The smile he gave me was too much causing me to duck my head. Why after last night did I doubt how he felt about me? Maybe more than ever. He squeezed my hand. “Come here, I want to show you something.”
He guided me to the couch and worked to get me positioned at just the right angle. He started to do that smoldering stare. It had always melted me, but after experiencing what that body behind the stare could do I was a pile of mush. One by one, he nonchalantly unbuttoned his shirt. My inside coiled as the ache between my legs throbbed. “I can’t.” My head involuntarily shook. “I’m sore.”
Ethan radiated with this half grin and placed his hands on his hips. My eyes didn’t know where to land; his sparkling eyes, perfect smile, or those abs. Damn, he was smoking hot.
“My Privy is sore.” He vibrated with a low sexy ass laugh and dropped to his knees in front of me. “Can you feel where I’ve been?”
Okay, he twisted my body in all kinds of positions the whole night and this was what made me blush. My cheeks burned with redness. “Just a little,” I whispered and glanced away.
He pressed a soft kiss to my lips and placed his hands on my knees. “I love knowing you feel where I’ve been. I love knowing I got the tremendous privilege of going there.” He whispered in my ear and then licked the contour of it. “I know I don’t deserve you, but I will spend the rest of my life proving to you I can be a man that makes you proud.”
I obscured my face in his hair. He started pulling his shirt off. I worked my hands over the biceps on his arms and up to his shoulders. Feeling plastic under my touch, I raised my head. He twisted his body bringing in view his shoulder. It was covered in plastic wrap and a clear ointment. He started to peel back the plastic covering. I ripped it off. He had covered up that tattoo with a bouquet of orange primroses. I felt over the fresh scabs and couldn’t see a trace of the old tattoo. “You got inked?”
He craned his neck, looking over his shoulder. “Last night was the most amazing night of my life. After everything you learned, you still wanted me like that. I watched you sleep and hoped I would never spend another night without you in my bed.” His eyes connected with mine. “The thought I had a symbol on my body that caused you pain haunted me. I called a buddy of mine and have spent the last three hours making sure you never have to look at it again.”
My heart sped up. Those words meant more to me than the night he first said I love you. I had to say something, but what words were appropriate. “Why primroses?” So inappropriate, Dylan.
“They are the flowers that brought you back to me.” He stood up and jerked me to my feet. His hands were suddenly on me. There was a urgency about him, I didn’t quite understand. He was possessed. His hands frantically ran over my body. Ethan clutched my shirt in his fist and ripped it. “I need to feel you. I need to know after everything you are mine.”
I started to declare my love to him when his lips covered mine and his tongue invaded my mouth. The sexy growls he purred caused an anxious pulse between my legs. He scooped me up in his arms. I’d never remembered being carried before not even as a child. The feel of his skin against mine, his arms supporting my frame was amazing.
He slowly lowered me to his bed. “You’re sore, beautiful. No matter how much it hurts me, I’m not going to make love to you right now. However, I am going to spend the day loving each inch of your body.”
I woke up totally refreshed, and unsure of what time it was. I sat up and stretched out my arms surprised Ethan was not in bed. He had spent hours worshiping my body. I begged him to make love to me, but he wouldn’t. He wanted it to be about me, not him. Utterly spent, I eventually passed out in complete bliss.
I heard the TV in the living room. From the laugh track, I would have guessed it was one of Ethan’s old comedy shows. I draped the duvet around my body and headed toward the living room. The TV blared but still no trace of Ethan. That was when I heard a crash come from the kitchen followed close by with a loud, “Shit.” Found him.
I snickered, finding Ethan on his hands and knees picking up rolls might have been more pleasing than waking up next to him. “What are you doing?”
“Trying to fix dinner, but dropping every damn thing.” He chucked a roll and then yanked me on top of him. The blanket shifted off my shoulder exposing my bare breast. He instantly rubbed his hand over it. “This is totally not fair. I’m hard as fuck and your friends should be here in about thirty minutes.” He covered up my chest and smiled. “Oh, yeah, you should really get dressed.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I called and invited Sarah, Deacon, and their dates over for dinner.”
“Why?”
“Because they are important to you. So that makes them important to me. I figured it was time we got to know each other better.” He smashed my face between his hands and smacked a loud kiss on my lips. “Now go get ready, because you’re naked under that blanket and if you sit here much longer. Screw the food, I will have you over that island and enjoy every damn moment of it.”
In the bathroom, I pushed the hair off my face and stared at myself in the mirror. I had to look different, more mature maybe. I certainly felt different. To be honest, I was sore as heck and felt like I had run a marathon. I finally for once saw Sarah’s appeal in all that hanky-panky, but didn’t want to classify what I shared with Ethan in the same category as all of Sarah’s conquest. Ethan and I shared a bond. That had to make it that much better. I removed my hand from my head and watched my hair go wayward. It all stuck up to the left except the one stray piece that went to the right. Screw it. I found a hair tie in the basket of bath products Ethan had bought for me and brushed it into some order of tidiness. I dug around the basket until I found my toothbrush and freaked. I never brushed my teeth after puking my brains out. He kissed me with vomit breath, UGH. Calm down, he still wants me. It must be love.
Ethan had laundered and neatly folded my clothes, leaving them on the dresser. I was sort of hoping to get to don another outfit of his. I dressed quickly. Sarah could’ve already been there and I didn’t want her and my Mr. Sexy-god-of-a-man alone in the same room. I took one more nervous look in the mirror and decided it would have taken more time than I had to look good. I gave my body one more shake and rushed to the kitchen.
Innocent Lies Page 12
