by Weil, J. L.
I didn’t like the stupid grin on his face. It was too charming. “You’re sure I can do this?”
“Positive… well pretty positive.”
I shot lasers at him with my violet eyes losing a notch of my assurance.
“Don’t worry,” he rushed to add before being seared by my laser beams. “I can fix whatever goes wrong. That’s a promise.”
His reassurance wasn’t enough to smooth over my worries. Someday I was going to work on my self-confidence. Someday in the distant future, today I was going to just try and not fry my own ass. “Bring it on,” I said in a voice both sweet and menacing.
He smiled, divulging right into it. “I want you to put all your concentration into that vase. Then I want you to picture it moving, floating through the air towards you. Let the source of your energy guide it.”
I took a deep breath, then another, and closed my eyes. Okay, all I had to do was move it to me. Easy peasy. Reaching inside to the sweet spot of magic, I welcomed the sensation that spread through me. It was amazing how just accepting what lived inside me had suddenly become such a part of me.
There were really no words to describe the feelings. It was empowerment, a perfect blend of strength and spirit. I could lose my head. Like the most potent drugs on the planet but without the addiction. It was nearly as awe-inspiring as kissing Gavin.
I felt like a different person. Well maybe not a different per se, but a super enhanced me.
I savored the awareness as it traveled through me – consuming me. I could feel it coursing through me from head-to-toe. Opening my eyes, I looked into Lukas’s face. He was watching me, and I could see surprise and something more shining in his emerald eyes.
He nodded his head once, encouraging me to move forward, not lose my grip. I focused intently on the very breakable crystal vase and pictured it moving into the air, floating effortlessly into my waiting, sweaty hands. With my luck it would slip right from my grasp the second I clutched it.
Nothing happened.
I tried harder. And harder. Lines of concentration stretched across my forehead. The vase didn’t so much as whisper a movement. My head was starting to throb and the buildup of energy inside of me was bursting to be released, to the point that it was becoming painful.
Just as I was about to concede defeat…shit hit the fan.
Suddenly, like the sound of a hurricane, pressure built around the walls of my house, creaking and squeaking in a funny way. Then as if it had reached its maximum, all the windows on the first floor shattered into lethal confetti. Glass rain down on us from all directions, I covered my hands over my head. Sweet Jesus please let this be a horrible nightmare. But nothing I could do or say would change what my eyes were seeing. We stood frozen. I couldn’t say what was going through Lukas’s head, but in mine it sounded like a string of very colorful swear words.
“Holy shit.” I was in so much trouble. How was I going to explain this to my aunt? It was bad enough that I had to patch a hole in the wall, but this…
“Maybe it would be safer if we practiced in your dreams,” Lukas said, brushing diamonds of glass off his shoulders and shaking it out of his hair.
A part of me knew he was joking, trying to lighten the situation, but I was having none of it. I hadn’t moved. I was too afraid to even blink. What an utter disaster.
I felt dejected.
I felt defeated.
I felt like a failure.
“Brianna,” he called my name, but I was unresponsive. “Brianna!” he said again more forceful. “I can fix this.” He did a wavy hand thingy, his eyes glowing like polished glass in the sun. As quickly as I had destroyed the windows, he had them repaired.
It didn’t stop me from feeling like I was a danger – a danger to everyone around me.
Stepping in front of me, he grabbed both my shoulders. “This isn’t as bad as it looks. You think every witch doesn’t have a few slips here or there? It’s how we learn. We learn from our mistakes.
“I don’t think I qualify as your average witch.”
His lips curled. “Maybe not, but you’re still allowed mistakes.”
“And if those mistakes cost lives? Then what?” My cheeks heated as I argued in frustration.
He wasn’t the least put off by my bad attitude. “That’s why you can’t give up. You have got to keep practicing. You’ll get it. Everything will just one day click into place.”
“If I keep practicing like this, I won’t have a house to live in.”
He snickered. “Well it’s not power you lack that’s for sure. That wasn’t even at full strength.”
He so wasn’t helping. I gave him a wry look. “Funny.”
“Don’t degrade yourself so easily. You can do this. Try it again,” he advised, trying to keep my spirits from plummeting.
Too late. I failed. Again.
I had to be the worst witch in the history of time.
Even my crestfallen expression didn’t deteriorate Lukas. “This time maybe with a little less… enthusiasm.” He finally decided was the word he was looking for.
I shook my head. “It’s your death sentence buddy.”
“I’ll take my chances on you,” he said squeezing my shoulder.
I stared at him dumbfounded. So be it. Lukas had faith in me. The least I could do was try once more.
Nodding, I backed up, putting some space between us. Gathering the erratic tingles inside me, I once again tried. This time I didn’t put so much effort into it. I relaxed and tried not to overthink what I was supposed to do.
Then almost like a trick, it happened. The crystal vase slowly hovered in midair over the fireplace mantel. It shimmered in time and space.
Hope sparked.
I could feel Lukas behind me holding his breath – waiting. That made two of us. With careful precision I kept a steady hold on the energy flowing from me as it guided the precious vase across the room and safely into my slightly shaking hands.
I took a moment to wallow in pure giddiness. Warmth and pride flooded me. Putting the vase safely back in its place on the fireplace mantel, I turned and jumped into Lukas’s waiting arms. “I did it!” I squealed, grinning like a fool.
He spun me in the air before putting me back on me feet. “Hell yeah. I told you. It was in you the whole time.”
“That felt amazing,” I gushed. It helped take my mind off other things.
Meaning Gavin.
Now that I thought his name, a tidal wave of emotions came roaring inside me. This was the kind of thing I’d imagined sharing with him. Disappointment laced through the excitement. Lukas noticed my immediate distraction. How could he not? My mind was having a hard time staying with the high of my accomplishment. It swiftly tumbled down, crashing. This strife between Gavin and I was affecting my abilities, affecting my life.
“Does your boyfriend know that I’m helping you?” he asked, interrupting my wandering mind. His warm fingers brushed aside a strand of hair that had fallen over my face.
“No,” I replied, hearing the sadness in my voice. Hard to tell him when he was not talking to me. “He’s not really my boyfriend, technically.”
“Well you could have fooled me.”
I sighed, now tired and cranky. “Sorry I’m such shitty company right now. It’s been a long week. I thought this would… help.”
“It will help. What you need is somewhere to throw all the emotion you are feeling. There is no better way than in magic,” he assured more passionately than I felt.
“At least one of us thinks so. I seem to be crying more than not the last few days,” I revealed with more vulnerability than I meant to. There was always something about him that made me able to pour my heart out, bleeding heart as well it seemed.
“The skies have been filled with amethyst tears.” He wiped away a single tear that streaked down my cheek.
More than he knew. I was probably responsible for every storm we had had the last few days.
He gave me a sincere smile. “I t
hink you deserve a break. What you need is a change in scenery, want to grab dinner?” he asked as if it was the most natural thing in the world. And maybe it was normal, but somehow I felt like I would be betraying Gavin.
I was speechless. A part of me hadn’t expected it. Another side of me knew that it might lead down this path. A date? Is that what he was asking? Or was I just jumping to all kinds of crazy assumptions?
He held up both hands. “No strings attached.”
I rolled the idea around in my head, as I left him hanging. What I really wanted was just a night to forget.
Forget who I was.
Forget what I was.
Forget my sorrow.
Before I could second guess myself or change my mind, I replied with a partial smile, “Sure, why not.” Two friends having dinner, it didn’t have to be any more than just that. Right? He had said no strings attached…
“Do you like Italian?” he asked, grinning from ear-to-ear. His dimples winked on both cheeks. He was just so damn charming. Any girl in the world would be a puddle at his feet.
So why wasn’t I? He was what dreams where made of, after all.
I tried to return his smile but only managed a fraction of his eagerness. I couldn’t fake it. Even though I had said yes, inside guilt gnawed at me. “Who doesn’t like a little Italian?” I replied.
Chapter 9
IT SEEMED LIKE WE DROVE forever just to get to the nearest Olive Garden. In reality, it probably wasn’t that far. It wasn’t like we had a variety of choices when it came to dining.
My cheeks were flushed as I sat across the booth from Lukas. It had nothing to do with the fireplace beside our table and everything to do with him staring at me so intently. With the dim lighting, this suddenly seemed more intimate than I had bargained. It was supposed to be innocent, just two friends.
Who was I kidding? Friends don’t kiss.
Well in our defense it had only been once and in a dream. Did that even count? Lukas and I weren’t just friends. We had experienced some kind of weird dream thingy for years. And now, I didn’t know how to act around him. Things weren’t the same as they were in my dreams.
“So how long is this… strange vibe we have going to last?” he asked, flashing those lethal dimples at me. Leave it to Lukas to just lay it all there on the table.
I exhaled and smiled trying to relieve the tension in my shoulders. “I’m glad it’s not just me. It’s just so strange still seeing you for real. My mind doesn’t seem to be able to keep up with what my eyes see.”
“Understandable. I look at you and I still can’t believe how much more beautiful you are in person.”
That did it. My cheeks deepened, and I sheepishly tucked my hair behind my ear. I wasn’t the best at receiving compliments. Luckily I was saved by our server.
We placed our orders, and I used that short time to regain some of my lost composure. The conversation moved to a less fervent topic. I couldn’t have been more grateful.
“Have you thought about what you are going to do after high school? What school you would like to attend?” he asked me. His magnetic eyes shimmered under the dim glow of candles.
I shook my dark head and fiddled with the moonstone and amethyst at my neck. “School has been the furthest thing from my mind.” And my grades were starting to show it.
“I know a really great school…” He let his words linger in the air. We both knew he was talking about his college. Like a seasoned frat boy he tried to sweeten the proposal. “Just think how convenient it would be to practice magic, and I could always use someone to spar with. There aren’t many witches there, so we would be doing each other a favor.”
Chewing on my lip, I considered what he said. Before all this, that had been my school of choice. Now…I wasn’t so sure I even wanted to go to college. “I’ll think about.” It was the best I could do for now. A part of me couldn’t commit to anything until I knew where Gavin and I stood.
I prayed that would be sooner than later.
Lukas grinned heavenly at me, like he had won a small victory. “That’s better than no. And in the meantime, I will take every opportunity to convince you.”
Wonderful. I think I just opened a can of worms.
Our food arrived and the air wafted with parmesan and tomatoes. Lukas dug right in. I, on the other hand, pushed my food around the plate in circles. I was having fun, but there was a strange tug in my belly. Being here with Lukas was nice, normal even, but…
He cleared his throat, pausing between shoveling monstrous bites of meatballs in his mouth. “So this thing with…,” he paused. “What’s his name again?”
I looked up from my half eaten plate of noodles, meeting his quizzical gaze. There was just the slightest light to them. He had been watching me aimlessly play with my food. We both knew he remembered his name. “Gavin,” I supplied.
He scratched his chin. “Right. This thing with Gavin is seriously bugging you.”
I sighed heavily, leaning my elbows on the table. “To say the least.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.
I made a face. “I don’t want to spoil dinner.”
“It might make you feel better,” he dangled like it was a piece of pie.
True, though I wasn’t sure he was actually the person to be my sounding board, but really, who else did I have? My aunt, Tori and Austin were out of the question for obvious reasons. Sophie was his sister and although I could probably talk to her, it felt wrong. Lukas might just be the only person out there.
I gave in. “Let’s just say that he didn’t take it well when he learned that I had met the guy in my dreams.”
He grinned wolfishly. “Clever. I like the sound of that. Hopefully it didn’t come out just so.”
I snorted. “Hardly, but no matter how you twist it, I still deceived him. I should have told him the truth much sooner than I did, and in the process I hurt him.” I slumped against my seat, food forgotten. This was not making me feel better.
“So what happened when you told him? Did he get mad at you?” he asked with a hint of irritation creeping in.
I twirled my straw. “Something like that. I haven’t talk to him since the night I told him. He is avoiding me like I’m contagious with a deadly disease.”
“Then he’s an idiot.” His eyes flashed.
I shifted in my sit. “It’s not like that.”
He arched a brow, clearly not believing me. “What makes you so positive? He hasn’t called you. He’s been avoiding you.”
I shrugged. How could I make him understand that what was between Gavin and I ran deeper. It was more. There was some invisible thread stringing us together. “I can’t explain it.”
His gaze held mine with a glowing tint. “That’s crap, and you know it.”
Doubt bubbled up. Did I? I wasn’t so sure anymore.
Crossing his arms he declared, “He sounds like an asshole.”
“He’s not, really. Actually he’s been nothing but supportive,” I defended.
“Well that may be, but if I were him, I wouldn’t have walked away so easily.” There was passion and anger in his words.
Gulping, I believed him. The change in his eyes was swift, scarily so. I would be lying to myself if I didn’t admit that there was a fraction of fear inside me. He must have noticed it, because a moment later he banked that fire, and sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so harsh.”
I frowned. Maybe I was just being overly twitchy about this whole thing. I had nothing to fear from Lukas, never had before. “Let’s just forget about it.”
“Under one condition,” he replied, stretching his long legs.
Great. I was almost afraid to find out what his one condition would be. I eyed him warily.
He smiled at me with his Lukas award winning grin. “You share dessert with me. We need chocolate.”
I snickered. “You’re right. Chocolate makes everything better.” Well at least if you are a girl.
He ordered a triple chocolate cake. Just one. And like that, there was a weight gone from air again. I could breathe. Gone was the weird tension, he was the Lukas from my dreams. My golden witch. My friend.
I missed him.
“Here.” He forked a bite of chocolate cake, holding it suspended over the table. “You have got to try this.” He stretched across the table. The college t-shirt he wore spread across the muscles on his chest.
Yum. And I wasn’t just talking about the cake.
My mouth watered.
I kept my expression blank. A part of me knew I was crossing a line, but it was not like I was kissing him, even though it felt...more. The candle on the table flickered, and I rubbed my hands on my jeans. Leaning over the table, I took the bite he offered. The chocolate literally melted in my mouth. “God that is good,” I said after I swallowed the sugary goo.
“You bet your sweet ass.” His emerald eyes twinkling.
“Your way with words is staggering.”
“I’m just getting started.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.” I seriously hoped that was a metaphor for something else. Or I was going to find myself in a precarious situation with more guys than I could handle. Breaking hearts wasn’t my forte.
Friend, I reminded myself. We are just friends.
Who would have ever imagined that at the brink of eighteen, I would find myself in such a mess? Certainly not me.
Chapter 10
ANOTHER WEEK WITHOUT GAVIN.
Depressing.
This was getting ridiculous. How was he going to keep his grades up to graduate? It wasn’t like he could just spell his way through high school. Or maybe he could.
Enough was enough. I got that he was mad at me, that he refused to answer my messages, but there had to be a way we could co-exist for gosh sake.
To make matters worse, Rianne decided today was the day she made me a target.
Goody gumdrops.
Between passing periods she snuck up on me at my locker. I should have been able to smell her skanky scent. She gave me an evil grin, flanked by two of her cronies. “Well if it isn’t the school mutant. Where’s your boy toy? Don’t tell me he got tired of you already?”
