by Weil, J. L.
“Well if isn’t bizarre Brianna.” Rianne was just plain cruel and took her popularity for granted in an enormous way.
“Just say whatever it is you want to say and cut the crap,” I responded dryly.
“Someone has their granny panties in a wad.”
She was crusin’ for a brusin’. “Is there a point to this nonsense?” If there was one thing I knew about Rianne, it was that she liked to be in control and she liked flare.
She sneered. “You’re not much fun…but Gavin is.”
I should have seen this coming. She never missed the opportunity to point out that she could have any guy she wanted. “You mean my boyfriend.” It felt satisfying seeing the agitation in her eyes.
She recovered quickly. “For now…”
I was going to gouge her eyes out. Steam was starting to radiate off my skin.
Stretching out her long legs she added, “He didn’t seem to have a girlfriend when he had his hand up my shirt. Hmm. His lips taste like sex.”
I knew that her bragging was nothing but petty lies and insecurities, but it didn’t make her bite any less harsh. Overcome with rage, my hands balled into fists at my side. I wanted to slam my fist into the center of her pretty face. My blood hummed.
I could feel it burning in my veins, whispering in my ear, promising me redemption.
“Rafferty! You’re up,” Ms. Jenson, our overly butch teacher, bellowed through the gymnasium.
Breaking my eyes from my arch enemy, I stepped up on the mats. Wiping my hands on my atrocious gym shorts, I got ready to make an utter fool of myself. Not exactly athletically inclined I gripped the rope with sweaty palms and no hope of making it to the top, but neither had half the girls in my class.
About five excruciating pull-ups going really nowhere, my arms burned, and I gave up. Looking down the rope, the floor was just a few feet away. I dropped to the mat and dusted my hands off.
Rianne brushed past me, bumping lightly into my shoulder. “Kissing isn’t the only thing I excel at. Ask your boyfriend,” she said in a voice of molasses and vinegar.
“Blow it out your ass,” I retorted with clenched teeth. My jaw was starting to throb. “Bitch,” I mumbled under my breath.
Flipping her long blonde hair up in a messy ponytail, Rianne put both hands on the corded rope, then turned to me and flashed me a devious grin. I shot poisonous daggers at her. My whole body seethed as clear images flickered in my head. Rianne wrapped around Gavin. Her hands in his silky hair. Her mouth on his lush lips.
Eventually, all I saw was red.
I watched as she climbed the rope. The amethyst in my irises radiated like a cat at night. With each hand, she clasped higher than the other on the twine like a damn monkey, my magic increased. It happened like a bad dream. Every tiny detail I envisioned began to unfold. My entire body came alive, tingling with power and something more.
Different.
Darker.
It was exciting, yet terrifying. And I seemed helpless to stop what I set in motion.
Holy black caldrons.
She was about to make her descend back down when her hands, for unexplained reasons, let go of the thick rope. Rianne’s curvy form fell ten feet in the air, flat on her ass. The sound of her butt hitting the gym mat was bittersweet. All the other girls loitering around gasped, a few snickered.
I had done that. Everyone else in the gymnasium might not know what really happened, but I did. And it didn’t sit well in my stomach. It wasn’t like me to steep so low. I was Glenda the good witch, at least that was who I was striving to be.
Embarrassed and horrified at what had happened, I realized that I could have seriously hurt her. Such darkness. I could have killed her, whispered something deep inside me. No one would have been the wiser.
Rianne pushed the escaped hair out of her very red face. Eyes overflowing with accusations pinned me in the crowd. “You did this,” she spat, sounding like a crazy person. “You made me fall off the rope you freak-a-zoid. You’ll pay.”
I could do nothing but stare.
She was right.
Ms. Jenson kneeled beside Rianne asking her questions. She put an arm under her and helped the distraught bully hobble to the nurse. Rianne looked over shoulder giving me the evil eye.
Oh joy.
Chapter 24
AFTER SCHOOL, I WAS IN a mood. The whole Rianne thing had me wiggin’ out. Gavin repeatedly eyed me warily, sensing my weird behavior, and I was seriously trying to act normal. Obliviously I was failing miserably.
“Want to make-out?” He coughed. “I mean hang out?”
My lips curved. His mention of making-out got me thinking about the other night. I never got the chance to ask him about the whole merging our magical streams so to speak while being lipped locked. It had been on an entirely different plane. Here goes nothing. “The other night while we were…you know kissing.”
He smirked at my discomfort.
“Did you know that we could share magic like that?” I asked.
He tossed an arm behind the couch, angling toward me. “I knew that it was possible. I just never have done it with anyone before, never wanted to I guess.”
My stomach tightened and warmth blossomed all over me. “I had no idea.”
He leaned closer. “There is a lot you don’t know. And plenty more I could teach you.” His lips grazed my cheekbone.
Oh I just bet. I shifted on the couch putting some space between us. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t get any answers. I was already almost at the point of diversion. “It felt so surreal. Do you think that is normal?”
His brows buried together. “Probably not. With you, it is never as I expect.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled, slouching lower in the couch. Flashbacks of Rianne’s butt planted on the gym floor tumbled into my head. Jeesh, what a day.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, twirling the loop at his lip.
I nodded and swallowed a golf ball lump. “Yeah. I just have to cram for this test and you are an enormous distraction.”
“I am?” he said, skirting the back of my neck with his skillful fingers.
Duh. I rolled my eyes. “You know you are. I need this class to graduate,” I added, laying it on thick. He knew how important school was to me.
Leaning in, he pressed a light kiss on my lips. “I’ll call you tonight,” he promised.
A huge part of me was reluctant to let him go, but I knew I needed to sort my head out. Once he was gone, I climbed the stairs two at a time. Alone in my room I sat cross-legged in the middle of the floor. Lunar was curled in my lap looking at me with sad eyes. It was like he could sense my inner turmoil.
Smart kitty.
I scratched the top of his head to comfort him and me. What I needed to do was figure out this whole magic mojo. One minute I am blowing out windows, freezing time, and then I’m dropping people from ten feet in the air.
Taking a deep breath, I centered myself. Magic should be fun, I reasoned. There hadn’t been enough lately, all work, work, work. I blinked and called forth the light inside me, each time it became easier and easier.
Staring intently at the door to my bedroom, I visualized the lock turning and put my effort into keeping everyone out. The click sounded like a gunshot in the silent house. It gave me such an immense satisfaction, not just that I had succeeded, but the using of magic was so gratifying.
Easy. Peasy.
Let’s try something a little more complex. First thing that popped into my head was the gentle glow of lights. Not just one lamp, all of the lights, well at least in my house. I wasn’t going to let all this power go to my head. I’m a grounded kind of gal.
Sending my concentration to the hub of electric power flowing through me, I only needed to think what I wanted. With my luck, overthinking would probably blow a circuit in my brain. Slow and steady, I reminded myself. Watching in awe, all the lights in the house flicked off and on – repeatedly. It was pretty cool actually. Who needed a light switch w
hen you had magic? When I got bored of that I moved onto something less strenuous on the eyes.
For the first time practicing and doing spells felt less like a chore and more natural. I really started to believe in myself and believed that I was a witch. Not just any witch, a kickass witch. Okay that was a going slightly overboard.
Luckily the doorbell rang before I let my head drift too far in the clouds. When the chime sounded throughout the house, I sat on my floor confused at first. I hadn’t commanded the bell to ring – strange. Then it occurred to me that there must really be someone at the door.
Bolting up, Lunar gave a strangled meow at being properly dumped on the floor. Dashing down the stairs, I slid over the rug in front of the door before throwing it opened. A beam of sunlight glared in my eyes. Squinting, I focused on the figure outside my door.
Sophie.
Her dark hair shadowed over her face, a face that looked disgruntled. Her usually glittery sapphire eyes were serious and slightly lost.
I leaned a hand on the doorframe. “Hey,” I said sounding winded. “Is everything okay?” My heart jackhammered in my chest as my thoughts strayed to Gavin. Maybe something had happened after he had left here.
Please God no.
“I don’t know. Maybe.” Her eyes were scanning a circle around me. “I think so.”
I smeared my sweaty hands on my jeans. “Okay now you are freaking me out. Which is it?”
“Are you alone?” she asked, glancing behind me.
“Yeah.”
“Good.” She strolled through the door. “We’ve got to talk.”
I gulped. “Gavin–”
She waved an artful hand in the air, moving into the living area. “My overinflated brother is fine.”
I released the breath I’d been holding, trailing behind her.
“It’s you I’m worried about.” Her colorful dress swirled out around her as we sat on the sofa.
“Me?” I echoed, shifting uneasily on the couch.
She nodded her head, earrings jingling with the movement. “Your aura… It’s–” she started then stopped like she was unsure how to phrase her words. “The black hole in your aura… it’s bigger.”
“Bigger?” These one word responses were getting old, but I couldn’t seem to form anything articulate.
Again she nodded her head, crystal eyes with concern and uncertainty. “I did some digging and asked around, from what I gathered the darkness is chipping away at your aura. Weakening it.”
“Come again.”
“Point blank… You’ve been using black magic.”
My mouth dropped far enough to hit the earth’s crust. To say I was shocked was the understatement of the freaking century. “How is that possible?” I asked in disbelief, but even as I spit the words I thought about what had happened today in gym. What I had done to Rianne. It might have been satisfying, yet it had also felt wicked.
“Honestly. I don’t know. Your aura is the first I’ve seen with these missing silvers. Maybe you’ve used it without knowing.”
“Does it feel different…when you use black magic?”
“From what I’ve heard it is like a drug. Once you’ve used it, there is a pull that calls to you, sucking you in for more. It is additive in the worse way. All magic comes with a price.”
None of that made me feel any better. I felt worse. Monumentally worse. I slumped into the corner of the cushions wishing I could just disappear from my life. “Something happened today,” I whispered barely audible.
She didn’t say anything, just waited patiently for me to go on. I still hadn’t figured out why I hadn’t told Gavin, but I think that deep down in some cobweb part of my brain, I knew what I did wasn’t good. “Today in gym I used magic to hurt someone. It wasn’t like the other times, it was different. There was this soft voice inside me egging me on. I dropped Rianne on her ass like I was swatting a fly – effortless.”
“Have you told anyone?” she asked with a thoughtful look.
“Nope. You’re the only one who knows the truth.”
“I just don’t know. That seems more like a prank, but something just doesn’t add up. I can see it, yet it’s not clear. They only thing I can see for certain is that you are at the center. There is this foggy mist blocking my view.” She sounded frustrated and scared. “Something is telling me that there was a reason you were never told of your heritage – never told of your powers.”
“Probably because I’m worse than the wicked witch of Oz. There is darkness inside me,” I said dejected.
Sophie shook her head. “These missing pieces in your aura are just splinters. The rest of you is pure, vibrant, filled with nothing but goodness. Well it is when you aren’t shitting on yourself.”
I snorted. “Thanks.”
The corners of her mouth lifted. “What are friends for? We are going to figure this out. My brother might be a bonehead, but he is relentless, and there is nothing he wouldn’t do to keep the girl he loves safe.”
Hearing that Gavin loved me cracked through my self-pity and sadness, it gave me hope, even if he hadn’t yet said the three little words my heart was longing to hear. It gave me something to cling to. That it might just be possible for me to overcome or get through whatever this dark spot in my life was.
“Okay so what should we do?” I asked, ready to tackle this invisible mountain.
She folded her hands in her lap and said seriously, “Simple. We find what spells trigger the blackness.”
I plopped my head on the back of the couch, closed my eyes, and groaned. Simple my scrawny butt.
Chapter 25
MY PHONE BLINKED WITH ANOTHER message from Lukas, this was like the umpteenth one since the party last weekend. Someone was feeling some serious regret. Good let him stew.
You can’t ignore me forever.
Sure I can. Really? I sent back. This was my response after loads of dismissed messages. He was persistent, I’d give him that. I guess I was unable to keep it bottled in anymore.
He sent a text back in record time, probably thinking this was his chance to make amends. I’m sorry k. How many times do I have to say it?
At least a hundred more. I couldn’t help it. The whole fighting between Gavin and Lukas still burned inside me.
My phone vibrated. Be real.
Okay, so I wasn’t really being fair. He hadn’t been the only one involved in the whole incident at Tori’s. Already I had easily forgiven Gavin, why had I not yet forgiven Lukas? If I was going to be honest with myself, it was partially to do with my new relationship status. I was avoiding Lukas because I knew that I had to tell him. Not only him, but I had tell my aunt that I was dating Gavin.
I needed to tell Lukas to keep the lines between us from crossing any boundaries. Friends. That’s what we were. Something like this was probably better face-to-face, but I was chicken. I wasn’t such a wuss to resort to a text. A call seemed like a happy medium. It worked for me.
Hitting his speed dial, I waited on the other end to hear his sunny voice. “So does this mean I am forgiven?”
I snickered. “Yeah. I guess it does, but–”
He groaned. “I hate buts.”
I didn’t blame him. “I just wanted you to hear this from me.” There was a long awkward pause, and I took a deep breath. “Look I know things between you and Gavin were…tense but I don’t want you and my boyfriend–”
“Boyfriend?”
I sighed. This wasn’t going as well as I imagined. “That’s what I was trying to tell you.”
Long pause. “I see,” he finally stated.
“This doesn’t change anything. Not with us. I still want to be your friend. I still want to practice with you.” I rushed the words out.
“You know how I feel about you. I don’t want to be just your friend. I don’t know if I can do that.” There was pain in his voice and anger.
Was I always destined to hurt people I cared about?
My voice was thick with tears. My throat felt c
losed. “I – I’m sorry,” I hardly managed to speak.
The phone clicked in my ear. Falling onto my pillow, a stream of tears ran down my cheeks. Just like every other time my emotions got the best of me, my bedroom window was pelted with raindrops. I hated to cry and lately I felt like I’ve cried more and more. You think I would have exhausted all my tears by this point.
After a good, long crying jag and a pint of triple chocolate ice cream drizzled in an enormous about of chocolate syrup, I wasn’t exactly feeling any better. Even though my conscious was clear, I now had a belly ache and it was more than just stuffing my face with ice cream. Talk about a sugar high. What I needed was something to take my mind off this off black aura disaster and now Lukas. So drowning in sweets until I got sick was my plan. It wasn’t exactly the best way to spend a Saturday night, especially when I had to work in the morning.
I spent the rest of the day on my bed licking the spoon and wondering if what I was about to do was a stupid idea. Lord knows I was full of them.
Truly if there was anyone who would have the answers I sought, it would Morgana. I still couldn’t think of her as my great grandma, nor did I really understand how we communicated.
How was it that I could talk to a witch who has been dead for decades?
I filed that under crap I needed to remember to bring up on our next visit. And if things went the way I was starting to scheme in my brilliant, yet troublesome brain, it would be soon.
Very soon.
Setting the licked clean bowl aside on my nightstand, I turned the volume on the boob tube down. With a bat of my eyes the bedroom was immersed in darkness, except for the crescent moonlight shining through the window.
Magic rocked.
Trying to relax was harder than it sounded. I snuggled on my pillow, pulling the covers to my chin. I stared at the ceiling wondering how in the world I was going to consciously dreamscape Morgana. All the other times I had shared dreams with Lukas, I hadn’t any clue what I was really doing. Even with the practice, this time was not entirely the same either. I was going to be merging dreams with a dead witch, not a living person.
