What she desired most was Jake.
Will was up for ice cream and rowboats. The minute they pulled into the parking lot, he was out of the car and running to the Sam’s Scoops truck.
“The life of a kid. His only worry is what flavor he’s getting today.” Jake helped her out, and they walked hand in hand to the truck.
The last time she was here with him, he carried her to the picnic bench, which now held a family of four.
“I’m glad his life will be good. At his age”—she shook her head—“I was cleaning houses for the neighbors for a meal.”
“It never ceases to amaze me how much you went through and how incredibly solid you are as a human.”
She leaned into him. “You know what they say … What doesn’t kill us strengthens us.”
He tugged her closer and placed a kiss on top of her head. “They also say, why settle for one scoop when you can have two? What will it be?”
They ordered their ice creams. Will had a scoop of Pigeon Poop and one of Witch’s Warts. She didn’t even want to know what was in them. She chose Tar Pit, which was Sam’s fancy name for rocky road. Jake erred on the side of caution, too, and had the same.
When they finished, they swung on the swings, slid down the slide, and made their way to the O’Grady’s Equipment Rental.
“What will it be today?” a man named Seth asked from behind the counter. His eyes never took a glance at Jake or Will. The man was singularly focused on her, his flinty eyes eating her up like she was a bowl of Sam’s sweet cream.
Jake cleared his throat. “We”—he pointed to himself, Will, and her—“would like a rowboat.”
Seth snapped back like he’d been slapped. “Oh, you’re together.”
Will bounced on the balls of his feet. “Yep, we’re together, like a family.”
Seth’s lips pinched, and he let out a grunt. “The pretty ones are always taken.”
Jake slipped his arm around her waist. “This one is. She’s mine.”
Natalie’s knees grew weak, and she nearly hit the floor, but over the years, she’d learned to recover well when things surprised her. Instead of setting things straight like she’d been doing all along, she tried it on for size.
“Yep, I’m his.” Not to leave Will out, she patted his back and said, “and he’s ours.”
“Down the dock and second slip on the right. It’s fourteen an hour or thirty for the day.”
“We’ll take it for the day,” Jake said and wrapped his free arm around Will’s shoulder and led them out.
It took a little practice, but once Will and Jake got in sync with each other, they were gliding across the mirrored surface of the lake. All she had to do was sit and enjoy.
They moved past a few fishermen who were more than happy to show off the day’s catch to an eager boy.
“Can we go fishing sometime too?” Will asked.
“Absolutely, but you either have to catch and release or eat what you caught.”
Will shivered. “I don’t like fish unless they come deep-fried and in sticks.”
“Then it’s catch and release.”
They made their way across the lake to the falls where some older kids were jumping from the cliff into the pool below.
“Can we do that too?” Will swished his fingers through the water. “Not today, but later in the summer when the water is warmer?”
“I’m not jumping off a cliff,” Natalie said, then looked at Jake. The picture of him repelling came to mind. “That’s totally in Jake’s lane, but I’ll visit you in the hospital when you’re finished.”
Jake sat across and locked eyes with her. “No risk … no reward.”
“Tell me that when you’re in a body cast and I’m feeding you liquids through a straw.”
“The hardest part is taking the leap.” He stared at her, and something told her they weren’t talking about cliff diving.
“No sense in taking a leap at nothing.”
He frowned and continued to row. They made their way back to the dock.
Before they could get out of the boat, Will flung himself into Jake’s arms.
“Woah, buddy, what’s up?”
“Just wanted to let you know that this was the perfect day.”
“Yes, rowing the boat was fun.”
Will moved back, and a stern expression crossed his face. “No, it wasn’t the boat … I mean, that’s part of it.”
“Okay, what else made it perfect?” Jake asked.
Will looked between them. “I was with my family. I love you both and want every day to be like this.”
Jake pulled Will in for a hug, but his eyes were on her. “I love you, too. Both of you.”
Her heart nearly burst. He’d told her he could love her, but that was because they were naked. Today, they were fully clothed, and he said it anyway. He looked at her like he was waiting for the words to spill from her lips too. She opened her mouth to say them but couldn’t. To say them meant it was real, and to make it real made it dangerous for her heart. Love was like Voldemort from Will’s favorite book. It was the emotion that couldn’t be called by name, otherwise, it would have power over her. Instead, she said, “I want a thousand more days like this.”
His eyes dimmed before her, but he leaned in, crushing Will between them and said, “I’ll give them to you.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
He sat at the corner table, going through his emails while Will finished up his winding down session. Since Sunday, they’d spent every minute they could together, as a family, and it felt so damn right.
He pondered his luck and wondered if maybe not hearing from Vision Quest wasn’t bad. He’d come to Aspen Cove to pay a gift forward, and in return, he’d received an even bigger one. While Natalie wouldn’t give him the words he so badly wanted to hear, she showed him her love in many ways.
Then there was Will, who was a kid who had never known what real love looked like and was getting a daily dose by his sister, the community, and him.
“The end,” Will said and closed the book.
“Good job, Will,” Natalie said, rounding the corner with a basket of heart-shaped I READ A BOOK TODAY stickers. “Don’t forget your sticker and come back next week for …” She pointed to Will.
“Oh, right. I’ve picked out a Berenstain Bear book called Pirate Adventure.” He stared at his sister. “Can we dress up like pirates?”
Natalie laughed. “Sure, if they want, but a costume isn’t required.”
As the kids left, talking excitedly about what they wanted to wear, his phone rang. When he saw the caller was Vision Quest, it filled him with both excitement and dread.
He looked at Natalie. He got dozens of calls a day from clients, but her expression told him she somehow knew who this call was from.
He walked into the office and shut the door.
“Hello, Matt.” He slid into the seat behind the desk. “I didn’t think I would hear from you.”
There was a moment of silence and a clearing of Matt’s throat. “I’m sorry. Things took longer than we had hoped. We interviewed Fritz, and then the female members of the board asked why we hadn’t considered Trudy Heinz or Sally Walters. That opened up an entirely new can of worms regarding the balance of power. I’m telling you, it’s been a shit show.”
“Did you find the right candidate for the job?” Somewhere deep inside, he hoped they had hired someone else, and this was the call to tell him he hadn’t been chosen. That was the easy way out of this situation. If the decision had been made, then it would save him from making the hard ones for himself.
“It was always you.”
He held back a laugh. Those were the words he wanted to hear, but not from Matt Steinman.
“That’s not exactly true.”
“Sure, it is, but we had to be certain. This is a big commitment from both sides.”
“What was the deciding factor for choosing me?”
“Well, you have it all. Your skill set is unparal
leled, you’re likable, and you have deep pockets.”
“Ah, yes, the deep pockets are important.” He knew his financial stability was a plus, but he didn’t want it to be the sole reason for their decision.
“When can you start?”
“That’s a good question. I’ll get back to you in a few days to iron things out.” He hung up before Matt could press him for a more definitive answer. Weeks ago, he would have said tomorrow, but things had changed.
He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. He tried to imagine his future and the images that came up varied. The first being Natalie swinging at the park with her hair blowing in the wind. He saw Will as a teenager driving his first car, on his first date, and at graduation. He imagined a little girl running into his office and throwing her arms around his neck. Looking down, she had green eyes and hair as soft as her mother’s. Thoughts of his office followed with pictures of Vision Quest and the walks he would take along the bluff looking over the Pacific Ocean. He saw the patients who would write and say their lives were better because he was in them. He wanted it all, but could he have it all?
A soft knock sounded at the door.
“Come in,” he sat up and watched as Natalie entered. She left the door partially ajar so she could hear if a customer needed her help. She was the perfect pick for the job—not that he had many options, but he couldn’t see anyone else behind that register, and that left him with another problem. If he left Aspen Cove, he would want to bring Natalie and Will with him, but who would run the store? He’d be back where he started.
She leaned against the wooden desk. There was pain in her eyes, she masked with a smile.
“Was that the call?” The last word came out in a squeak.
He scooted back and patted his lap, but she stayed where she was.
He scrubbed his face with his hands. “It was.”
“That’s great. I knew they would call.” Her false sense of bravado both crushed him and warmed him.
“It’s not a done deal.”
She nodded. “Sure it is; that’s what you wanted. I’m glad you got the job. It’s important to you.”
Will walked in at the mention of a job.
“What job?”
Natalie hopped off the desk and went to Will to pull him in for a hug. “Jake got his dream job. He’ll be leaving us soon.” She swallowed the knot in her throat.
Will fought to get out of her embrace. “He can’t leave us; he loves us. People who really love you don’t leave.”
Jake stood. “Will—”
Natalie held up her hand. “I’ve got this.” She gripped the boy’s shoulder, so it forced him to look at her. “Love doesn’t make people stay forever.”
Will broke free and took off toward the front door.
Jake rushed after him. “I’ll get him.”
She grabbed him. “No, I know what he’s feeling, and he needs time to process. Let him be.”
“Natalie.” He turned toward her and opened his arms. This time she stepped into them. Her body shook next to his, but she didn’t make a sound, and she didn’t shed a tear. “I love you. Come with me to California.”
She drew in a jagged breath and stepped back. “I can’t. This is where I belong. This is where Will belongs. Aspen Cove is home.”
“Then I’ll stay. Just say the word, and I’ll stay.”
She stared at him for several minutes. “That sounds so easy, but it’s not. You’d stay because of guilt, and I’d hate myself for it.”
“I’d stay if you just told me how you feel.”
She took a deep breath. “I feel like it’s time for you to go.” She walked past him and turned left into the non-fiction aisle to stock books.
“Natalie, please.”
She turned, and he saw the tears falling freely down her cheeks. “Go, Jake. It’s what I want, and what you need.” Her back was to him.
He walked out of the bookstore, intent on finding Will, but found himself in the diner sitting in front of Doc putting his heart on the table.
“Do you love her?”
Jake thought long and hard about that question. He was certain what he felt was love.
“Yes. I love her.”
“And the boy?”
“Him too.”
“Now listen here, son, you have decisions to make, and they’re hard ones. But before you do, let me tell you a story.”
Doc waved Riley over for another cup of coffee and a big slice of apple pie. Once she arrived with coffee, pie, and a cup of tea for Jake, Doc began.
“Before my Agatha, I married Phyllis.” His eyes softened when he said her name. “She was my first love. I was smitten over that girl. I even killed my prize hog for her, but that’s another story for a different day. The one you need to hear is this. I’m a doctor. I had scholarships to the best medical schools in the country. Harvard School of Medicine was at the top of my list.”
“Is that where you went?”
Doc frowned and shook his head. “No, now listen, and don’t interrupt because I’m old, and I might forget what I want to tell you.”
“Okay, go on.” He sat back and sipped his tea.
“Harvard had everything. It had the best facility. It had a reputation of excellence. I knew if I went there, the world would be my oyster, but you know what it didn’t have?”
Jake opened his mouth to speak, but Doc shook his head.
“It didn’t have my Phyllis. I could be a doctor anywhere, but I could only have Phyllis here in Aspen Cove.”
“Are you telling me to stay?”
Doc grumbled to himself. “No, I’m telling you that sometimes you have to decide what’s more important. For me, the choice was a Harvard education or the first love of my life. It wasn’t a choice at all. Boulder was a fine school too. For you, it’s different. All I’m saying is you came here for a reason.”
Jake nodded. “Yes, to give back. To open the bookstore.”
“Puppy brains,” Doc said. “The town could do without a bookstore, but can you do without Natalie and Will? We didn’t absolutely need a bookstore, but do Natalie and Will need you? Do you need them?”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Natalie waited for an hour for Will to return. She paced the aisles of the bookstore and cried. When her eyes hurt too much to see, and her head pounded so hard she couldn't think, she flipped the sign to closed and left. She was the manager, and Jake told her she could leave when important things came up, and Will missing fit that category.
She hopped into her old Subaru and drove to Hope Park first. Will loved to go there, and she thought maybe she’d find him on the swing set or the jungle gym, but the only people present were Charlie and Eden walking their strollers around the track.
Next, she stopped at the house, but it was silent and empty. A lump of fear lodged in her throat. Not only the panic of not finding Will but the dread of losing Jake.
She fell on the sofa and fisted her hands in her lap. A yell of frustration bubbled up, and before she could let it loose, her phone rang.
She dug through her bag to find it and noticed the caller was Louise.
“Hello.” She hardly recognized her voice. It was small and childlike.
“He’s here. I’ve made him some hot cocoa and hugged him for a bit. I thought you’d be worried sick, so I called.”
“Thank you. I’ve been searching for him. I’ll be right over.”
“Wait. What about you? Are you okay?”
“I’ll survive.” She hung up and fell back to the cushions to take a breath. Relief washed over her. “It will be okay.” That’s what she’d tell herself until it was.
She teetered between devastation and agitation. The only person she could be angry at was herself. It would be so easy to rail against Jake, but what was the point? She knew what she was getting into when she jumped; she just didn’t think she’d land so hard or painfully.
She rocked forward and stood. As she moved to the front door, she cried again.<
br />
Ten minutes later, she was on the front porch of Louise’s house. The door swung open on her first knock.
Louise didn’t say a word. She looked at her tear-stained face and tugged her in for a hug. “Oh, honey, it will be okay.”
She sucked in a choppy breath. “I know, but it doesn’t make it any easier.”
Louise stepped back. “Will’s playing with Brian and Eric. Kids are resilient. At least they can keep him focused on something else for a bit.” She threaded her arm through Natalie’s and led her to the kitchen. “It’s almost five and time for wine.”
Natalie didn’t argue; she followed Louise and sat at the table that could serve an army.
“Our houses aren’t anything alike.”
“They used to be until I grew out of mine. It’s a good thing Bobby is handy, and he’s friends with Wes; otherwise, I’d be feeding my brood in shifts.”
She poured two glasses of prosecco and handed one to Natalie. The first sip made her shudder. She preferred her wine dry and tart, but right now, she’d settle for anything that could numb her feelings.
“I finally fell in love, and now he’s leaving.” It was a thought she said out loud, and it surprised her how much lighter she felt letting the truth out.
“Does he know?”
She shook her head. “I’ve never said the words, though he’s said them to me and to Will. Why would he tell us he loves us?”
“Because he does.”
Louise grabbed a plate of cookies and set them on the table in front of Natalie. Prosecco was a dessert wine, but even she knew that wasn’t supposed to be taken literally. Despite the sugar overload, she picked up a chocolate chip cookie and took a bite. She chewed it and washed it down with wine.
“Why do all the men in my life leave?”
“He’s not gone yet. Convince him to stay.”
“I won’t ask him to give up his dream.”
One Hundred Decisions (An Aspen Cove Small Town Romance Book 13) Page 18
