“When your four oldest brothers went off to school, she started taking you and Knox into town for a story time program at the library. She said it would help you both develop social skills and make friends, but it was Sheila who met someone.
“Every week, after story time, she’d stop by the little café next door. That’s where she met him. He was the owner of the café, and they became friends—at least that’s what she told me. But over time, their friendship grew into love.”
Wilder didn’t know how to respond to any of this. He could only imagine how distraught Max had been to discover that his wife was in love with another man.
“And she told me that she couldn’t stay married to me when she was in love with someone else.”
In his father’s words, Wilder heard not just bitterness and anger but the heartache that remained after so many years. Because while no one would ever deny that Maximilian Crawford could be a real son of a bitch, there was also no doubting that he’d deeply and sincerely loved his wife.
“So I told her she was free to go,” his dad confided now. “But no way in hell was she taking my sons.”
“And she chose her lover over her family,” Wilder concluded.
But Max shook his head. “She said that she loved him, but she would never love anyone more than her children.”
“But she left,” he said again.
“She left,” his father confirmed. “Because I told her to get out. I sent her away.”
“Why?”
Max pushed away from the table to refill his mug of coffee. “Because I loved her and she didn’t love me back. Because I was selfish and angry and hurt. Because I wanted to hurt her the way she’d hurt me.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell us this before?” he asked, when his father was seated at the table again.
“Because I was afraid, if you boys knew the truth...”
“If we knew the truth what?” Wilder pressed.
“I was afraid you’d blame me,” Max acknowledged. “And you should—because it was my fault. Even when I sent her away, I knew I was acting out of anger and spite and that I’d probably regret the things I said and did. But I always thought there’d be a chance to make things right.”
“Then she died,” Wilder said. Not that he remembered anything from that time, but he’d been told about her sudden passing soon after the divorce papers were signed.
His father nodded. “Then she died—and it was too late to undo what I’d done. And what was the point in telling you the truth then?”
“What was the point?” he asked incredulously. “Maybe the point was that we’d know the truth rather than thinking she didn’t want us.”
“You’re right,” his dad agreed. “But it was hard enough, living with my own guilt. I couldn’t bear having to live with my sons’ anger and hate.”
“You should have told us,” Wilder said.
Max nodded again. “I’ve had plenty of time to think about the choices I made,” he confided. “To regret the things I said and did. It was my fault she left. My fault you grew up without a mom.” He looked up then, pinning Wilder with his gaze. “My fault you haven’t let yourself open your heart because you don’t trust a woman to stick around.”
“I know you like to think you can control everything, Dad,” Wilder said dryly, “but not even you can make me fall in love or not fall in love.”
Max’s expression wasn’t unsympathetic as he shook his head. “And you’re so determined to keep your heart closed off, you can’t even see that you’ve already fallen.”
Chapter Sixteen
Wilder stood on the porch and watched the white van disappear down the driveway. Only when it was gone from sight did he turn his attention to the envelope with the purple logo of the DNA Testing Center in the upper left corner.
This was it: the moment of truth.
When he opened the flap and read the results, he would know for certain that he was Cody’s father—or that he wasn’t. There would be no more questions or uncertainty.
He’d been waiting for this moment for twelve days, anxious and impatient for the knowledge he finally held in his hand.
So why was he suddenly so apprehensive?
Was he afraid that the results would confirm he was the little boy’s father?
Certainly, when Hunter had first read Leighton’s note aloud, Wilder had been blindsided by her accusation. He hadn’t wanted to believe it, because if it was true, his life would change in ways he wasn’t ready for it to change.
But somehow, over the span of less than two weeks with Cody, he’d realized that he was ready for it to change. Maybe, as Beth suggested, he was even ready to embrace fatherhood not as an obligation but an opportunity.
And now he didn’t want that opportunity to be taken away. He didn’t want to discover that there was no biological link between him and the little boy who’d already taken hold of his heart.
He was still angry with Leighton for abandoning her child. And now that she was gone, he’d never get answers to all the questions he had. But if it turned out that Cody was his child, too, he would forever be grateful to her for giving him the chance to be the little boy’s father.
But what about Beth? What would the paternity results mean for her relationship with her nephew?
She would always be Cody’s aunt, but as she’d pointed out to Wilder on her first day at the Ambling A, her life was in Dallas. And if he was Cody’s father, he’d want to raise him here, in Rust Creek Falls.
But maybe—
He shook his head, dismissing the thought before it had a chance to fully form. There was no point in speculating about possibilities or imagining happy endings that he knew weren’t in his future. Because she was a woman who deserved a lot more than he was capable of giving. She deserved love, and he didn’t do love.
Except that he did love Cody. And the way his mind and heart had been preoccupied with missing Beth, he suspected that he was starting to fall for her, too.
Starting? A voice mocked inside his head.
He ignored the voice and tore open the flap of the envelope.
His fingers trembled as he pulled out the single sheet of paper.
“DNA Test Result” was printed in bold letters at the top. Beneath it was a chart with columns of numbers that didn’t mean anything to him. He scrolled further down and finally found what he was looking for: Probability of Paternity.
He didn’t realize he was crying until the numbers blurred in front of his eyes.
Blinking away the tears, he refolded the page and slid it back into the envelope.
* * *
The whole time that Beth was in Rust Creek Falls, she’d looked forward to the day that she could take Cody home. At no time had she imagined that it would be for her sister’s funeral.
Four days after that fateful call from the sheriff of Clearwater County, her head and her heart were still reeling from the tragic and premature death of her sister. But as much as she grieved for Leighton, she grieved even more for Leighton’s baby.
But she pushed those heavy thoughts to the back of her mind for another day. Today was about Leighton, and Beth was trying to focus on celebrating her sister’s life rather than mourning her death. Thinking about what would happen next—
No, she couldn’t do it.
One day at a time.
That was her new motto, and today was all she could handle right now. Or maybe more than she could handle. But she would get through it, because she had no other option.
You’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever known...fierce and formidable.
Though she’d doubted the veracity of Wilder’s words when he’d spoken them to her, she called on them to sustain her now. Because she knew she was going to need every ounce of that purported strength today.
Though Cody was too young to
understand what was happening, she took him to the funeral home for the early visitation. She believed it was important for him to be there, to have a last chance to say goodbye. He’d held up pretty well. It was Beth who’d cried like a baby when she put Cody’s Christmas gift to his mom—the still-wrapped “Mommy” ornament—in Leighton’s hand inside the coffin.
But then she’d pulled herself together, dabbed some concealer on the dark circles under her eyes, swiped some mascara over her lashes and slicked some gloss on her lips. Not because she cared how she looked, but because she could hear the echo of her sister’s voice telling her that she should care how she looked, and she knew Leighton would appreciate that she’d made the effort.
After the first visitation was over, Beth took Cody back to her condo. Moira Owen—her neighbor across the hall—had offered to watch him for the afternoon, and she was grateful for the help. Though Moira had no kids of her own, her job as an auditor for a multinational corporation meant she was a stickler for details, and Beth knew her neighbor would ensure that the baby was fed and played with and read to and put down for a nap precisely on schedule.
As for the details of her own life, she’d already been in contact with her principal, and Rebecca had told her to take whatever time she needed to get Cody settled. Beth appreciated the offer and understanding, but she wanted to get back to the comfort of her own routines as soon as possible. She needed to be busy so she wouldn’t dwell on the loss of her sister—or think about Wilder.
In the three days since she’d left Rust Creek Falls, she hadn’t heard a single word from him. Well, aside from the OK he’d sent in reply to her text message telling him that she and Cody had arrived safely in Dallas.
It had now been thirteen days since the cheek swabs were sent off to the lab, and she expected that he’d have the results by now. But if he did, he hadn’t shared them with her.
One day at a time, she reminded herself, as she returned to the funeral home to greet those who’d come to remember her sister. Several gathered in groups, sharing stories and memories and offering comfort to one another. Beth didn’t know most of them—more proof that she’d existed on the periphery of Leighton’s life. And though she would always regret that they hadn’t been closer, she was pleased to know that her sister had so many people in her life who cared about her.
Glancing at the clock, she felt a niggle of unease as she tried to remember if she’d given Moira directions on how to prepare Cody’s cereal. Maybe she could slip out to make a quick call...
The rest of the thought faded away when he walked through the door.
Wilder.
Her heart skipped a beat, then raced.
She’d wondered if he might show up. After all, he’d had a close and personal relationship with her sister—at least for a while. On the other hand, seventeen hundred miles seemed a long way to travel to say a final goodbye to a woman he hadn’t seen in more than a year.
But maybe there was another reason he’d decided to make the trip. Maybe he did get the results of the DNA test and had confirmed that Cody was his child. And maybe, when he returned to Montana again, he intended to take his son with him.
That was something she definitely couldn’t think about right now or she’d completely lose it.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hi.” She stood there awkwardly, not knowing whether to offer her hand or initiate a hug.
He made the decision for her, wrapping his arms around her and drawing her close. And during that all too brief moment, she felt such a sense of peace she wished she could stay in his arms forever.
But of course she couldn’t. So she eased away and said, “It was nice of you to come all this way to pay your respects.”
“I didn’t come only for Leighton,” he said. “I came for you, too.”
His admission had her fighting against a fresh surge of emotion. “Why?”
“Because I didn’t want you to be alone today.”
Her eyes filled with tears then, but she refused to let them fall. “Thank you,” she said, sincerely touched.
“How are you holding up?”
“I’m doing okay,” she said.
“Of course, you are. Because who would keep everything together if you fell apart?” he mused.
“Believe me, I’ve had my moments.”
She turned automatically to shake hands and exchange a few words with another visitor she didn’t know, before shifting her attention back to Wilder.
“You got the test results,” she guessed.
“Let’s talk about that later,” he suggested.
She nodded, because he was right—this wasn’t the time or the place. And really, didn’t she already know what the results were? The only question now was what Wilder intended to do, and that was definitely better left until later.
“Cody was here earlier,” she said, certain he had to be wondering about the baby’s whereabouts. “But I didn’t think he needed to make the trip to the cemetery, so he’s with my neighbor now. Plus, you know how cranky he gets if he misses a nap.”
“Yeah.” Wilder smiled. “I do know.”
“But he’s sleeping almost through the night now,” she said.
“Are you?” he asked gently.
She just shook her head as the minister took his place at the podium. Wilder linked their hands and guided her to the front row, while the other mourners took seats around them.
She hadn’t realized how much she dreaded having to get through the service on her own until he was there and she was no longer alone.
Afterward, they rode together to the cemetery, then Wilder took her back to the funeral home where she’d left her vehicle.
“Do you want to come back to my place?” she asked, and immediately felt hot color rush into her cheeks. “I didn’t mean that to sound like I was propositioning you.”
“I didn’t interpret it as a proposition,” he said, then winked. “Unfortunately.”
“I only meant that I’m sure you want to see Cody,” she explained.
“I do,” he confirmed. “But I’ll come by in a couple hours, if that’s okay. I’ve got a few things I need to do first.”
“I’ll see you in a couple hours then.”
* * *
Beth had to buzz him into the building, so when the knock finally sounded on her door, she expected to find Wilder on the other side. Instead, she found Santa.
Though she couldn’t have imagined anything would make her smile today, she felt her lips curve as she stood back to allow him entry. “You’re a long way from the North Pole.”
Her visitor responded with a hearty: “Ho! Ho! Ho!”
She lifted a brow. “And isn’t Santa usually on holidays this time of year?”
“Usually,” he agreed. “But Cody was out of town on Christmas Eve, so I had to take all his presents back to the North Pole with me. And then yesterday, Tracker—the elf who keeps track of all the good little girls and boys—told me that I could find Cody here.”
“Tracker?” she echoed, amused by his elaborate narrative.
“Just go with it,” he urged in a stage whisper.
“Well, Tracker was right,” Beth confirmed. “Cody is here.”
She led “Santa” to the living room, where the baby was propped up by a pillow on the floor, gnawing on the paw of the teddy bear that was one of the gifts she’d given to him at the Ambling A.
“Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas in January,” Santa said.
Cody’s eyes grew wide and wary as he looked at the stranger in the red suit, then his lower lip began to quiver.
“I should have reminded you that he slept through his visit with Saint Nick when I took him to the mall,” Beth said. “So this is the first time he’s actually seen Santa.”
And if the terrified look in his eyes was any indication, Cody wasn’t too
impressed.
Sensing that a meltdown was imminent, Santa immediately pulled off his wig and beard, revealing his true identity to the little boy. “Hey, buddy.”
Cody’s lip stopped quivering and he offered a tentative smile, showing off his two teeth.
Wilder dropped his bag of presents onto the floor and picked up the baby. “I can’t believe how much I missed this little guy,” he confided to Beth.
“He missed you, too.”
“How about you?” he asked. “Did you miss me?”
She was reluctant to answer the question. She didn’t want to admit how very much she’d missed him, how much her heart ached whenever she thought about him—which was pretty much constantly. “Maybe,” she said instead. “A little.”
“Just a little, huh?” He sounded disappointed. “I missed you a lot from the moment you were gone—and then a little bit more each day.”
She was surprised by his admission. “You did?”
He nodded. “As the youngest of six brothers raised by a single dad, I sometimes struggle to find the right words to express how I’m feeling,” he confided to her now. “At other times, I struggle to even acknowledge that I have feelings.
“But I can’t deny the way I feel about you any longer. I don’t want to deny my feelings. I want a life with you, Beth. I want you and me and Cody to be together. A family.”
It was what she wanted, too. More than anything. But she was afraid to trust that his feelings—and her own—were real. “We’ve only known each other a couple of weeks,” she reminded him. “And our whole relationship, if it could even be called a relationship, revolved around Cody.”
“Not our whole relationship,” he said pointedly.
She knew he was referring to New Year’s Eve—the night they’d enjoyed a very small and intimate celebration together—and she felt her cheeks flush with color. But as fabulous as that night had been, and as much as she might want to repeat it—over and over again—he was the one who’d told her that he didn’t do relationships, that he wasn’t capable of falling in love.
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