by Jade White
“Just you wait Shawn… I’m coming for you.”
“Shawn”
Rachel had fallen asleep on my shoulder while we were watching the news. After the program was finished, I laid her down on the couch the best I could without disturbing her. The talk with Kathleen could wait an hour or two. As I placed her head down I noticed Rachel’s soft, pouting lips. I remembered that I had accidentally kissed her today. I was so embarrassed that I just couldn’t control myself; it felt as if I was being magnetized towards her.
I wanted to kiss her again. I sighed. First, our situation needed to be sorted out and we needed to figure out what was going to happen to Michael. I was getting attached to the kid, which in hindsight is a terrible thing. What if I had to leave him? What if I had to see something horrible happen to him and his future? I didn’t want to feel that, but now I was stuck.
Rachel slept for about two hours before she awoke and joined me and Kathleen at the dining room table.
“Good morning sleepy head,” Kathleen greeted.
“Morning,” Rachel greeted back.
“You’ve got a pretty crown there,” Kathleen smiled.
Rachel touched her head and made an ‘o’ shape with her mouth as she realized she was still wearing the crown made of dandelions that Michael and I had made her. She took it off and placed it atop the table as she sat down next to me.
“So we might as well get this done with,” Kathleen said.
“Rachel, as you know, humans don’t know about shifters and for good reason. This is why this decision is so hard to make since this puts the balance of the relationship between shifters and humans in a rocky place since we can’t make an exception for just one individual.”
“I understand,” Rachel nodded.
“So we have a few options,” Kathleen began, “you can leave here and never return or talk about us. You will have no contact with your son whatsoever and will allow us to raise him in a shifter household.”
“You know my answer to that one,” Rachel said with a sigh.
“I thought you would say that. The other option is for you to stay here forever. You will indefinitely be imprisoned within this city but you will be able to raise Michael with our help and will be considered a citizen,” said Kathleen.
“Outside contact?” Rachel asked.
“None,” answered Kathleen.
Rachel was silent for a moment, and it seemed that she was debating that fact.
“I’ll do it,” Rachel declared.
“I thought you would say that!” Kathleen said happily. “Welcome to Sub-Dublin love, you are now a citizen or my name isn’t the mayor!”
Rachel smiled but it didn’t fully reach her eyes.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“Rachel”
I needed to do what was best for Michael, but abandoning my hopes and dreams along with all my family members felt like a weight on my heart. It felt as if I was doing something terrible but right. I knew it was the right choice, I would never feel okay if I abandoned my son here, but I still couldn’t help mourn the life that I had planned, the life I had wanted.
When Michael was born, I was fraught with worry, but I knew I still had a chance to make my dreams come true, but now they won’t ever. It’s not a matter of if’s or but’s, it’s an absolute. It’s a sentence passed down from god himself onto my life. I was never to become a model. I would never eat Auntie’s cooking again. I would never see Charlie’s smile. I would never appear on the cover of my favorite magazine. I would never see the sun ever again. I would never be able to do any of these things, ever again.
“Pardon me,” I excused myself as I headed for the bathroom.
I felt the familiar feeling of tears welling up and cursed my weakness. I just couldn’t believe that there wasn’t a solution without breaking bones. This was the best possibility… for everyone. The tears began to run down my cheeks as a knock at the door interrupted me.
“Rachel?” Shawn said from the other side.
I cleared my throat before answering, “Yeah?”
“Are you alright?” he asked.
“I’m f-fine,” I answered but couldn’t keep my voice steady.
“May I come in,” Shawn asked.
“…Yes,” I said against my better judgment.
Shawn opened the door to see me sitting on the floor next to the bathtub with tears running down my face. He quietly closed the door behind him and sat in front of me. He took my face into his hands and began to wipe away the tears with his thumbs.
“It is going to be okay,” he said.
I looked up at him in disbelief. “How can you even say that?” I asked. “I-I-I- can’t,“ I stuttered.
Shawn shushed me and pulled me into his arms. He held me tight against his chest and began to pet my hair. “We will figure something out, together okay? I’m on your side,” Shawn comforted.
His kindness only made me unravel more as I sniffled. I sobbed into his hold and wrapped my arms around his torso, pulling on his shirt to ground me. Shawn kept chanting comforting words as I sat there on the ground spilling my feelings onto his t-shirt.
Once my sobbing died down to hiccupping, Shawn’s hold loosened. He started to rub my back and whispered, “Are you okay?”
“I’m okay,” I assured.
Shawn let me go and looked at me. I must’ve looked like a mess, my face was probably red and tear stained, plus I might’ve had snot dripping down my nose. Shawn didn’t laugh though. He just grabbed a little bit of toilet paper and passed it to me. I wiped away the snot and tears thankfully and then put the tissue in the garbage. I felt my breathing begin to turn to normal as the initial shock of this decision waned.
“Are you going to be alright?” Shawn asked.
“I think I’m okay. This is okay,” I said.
Shawn smiled at me. “Just remember, I’m on your side,” he said.
“Thank you,” I replied, and I meant it. I meant it to my core.
I was embarrassed to be comforted by him but it felt so normal, yet surreal. It felt like something that is happening for the first time, yet also as if it has happened many times before. When I looked up at Shawn we were both silent. Then I made the first move, leaned forward and kissed him quick on the lips. I looked up at him again for a moment and we were silent.
Then Shawn leaned forward and kissed me, but this time in a less chaste manner. He licked my lower lip, which in return I opened my mouth to allow him entrance. There, our tongues met and slid against one another creating a teasing friction. I placed an arm around his neck and brought him closer to me as I breathed out through my nose.
We parted and looked at each other through lidded eyes. Shawn seemed to realize something and he backed away. “Is that… okay?” he asked.
“Y-yeah,” I replied, “It is fine.”
“Are you two alright in there?” Kathleen asked from the closed door.
I cleared my throat. It’s fine, Kathleen.” I got up from my place on the floor and breathed in slowly as if to prepare myself.
“Are you okay?” Shawn asked.
“I’m perfectly fine,” I said.
Somehow that kiss made me excited for the future. Perhaps there was something here for me other than exile from regular humans? Of course I had my son, but what was to happen to me after he grows into a man and needs to take on the world? I couldn’t answer that question right now but I could look forward to what the future held for me. I exited the bathroom and looked at Kathleen.
“Sorry, that was just a lot to take in,” I admitted.
“I understand,” Kathleen said, “but there is much more to discuss.”
“Oh?”
“We are going to need to discuss your living situation as well as what sort of education Michael is going to have to start soon,” Kathleen explained.
I followed her back to the dining room table where now a few cups of steaming hot tea awaited us. We all sat down in our respective seats once again and I steeled myse
lf for the rest of the conversation.
“We do have schools here,” Kathleen said. “We teach the same curriculum as public schools up top, but we have extra classes that are required that will help Michael be able to control his powers. During classes, he will always be with a teacher who knows how to handle shifter children, and since he is a dragon we will be assigning him to a special class for more… volatile shifters,” Kathleen explained.
“Volatile?” I said.
“Some children have powers that are easier to misuse, especially those who can shift into a mythical creature,” Kathleen said.
“Are there other mythical shifters?” I asked in curiosity.
“There are many out in the world right now, though we don’t have any in our school system at the moment. As you may know, Shawn is the only dragon shifter alive, but there were others before him in his blood line long ago,” Kathleen said.
I hummed in understanding.
“Which by the way, Shawn, I wanted to ask what your intentions were now that you’re back in the city,” said Kathleen.
“What are my intentions?” Shawn repeated.
“Do you plan on staying or leaving?” Kathleen asked.
“Why do you ask?” Shawn said.
“Well, we now have a dragon shifter to take care of, and the best person to take care of a dragon shifter is another dragon shifter since you understand the possibilities of their power,” Kathleen said.
“You want me to be his teacher?” said Shawn.
“Yes,” replied Kathleen.
“I don’t know… I wasn’t even sure where I was going to go since my boss is most likely after me after I failed with that phoenix shifter,” said Shawn.
“Phoenix?!” Kathleen exclaimed. “You saw her?”
“Well… not really. She had shifted into a different human,” said Shawn.
I was beginning to get confused.
“She had shifted into another human? That’s blasphemous!” said Kathleen.
I looked between the two and saw them share a look.
“She’s dangerous,” Kathleen said.
“I know, that’s why I ran instead taking her head on,” said Shawn.
“That won’t be the end of it you know, I heard that she’s a great hunter,” said Kathleen.
“Is your city not as well hidden as you say?” Shawn said.
“It’s well hidden, but not from her. She’ll figure out where you are in no time,” said Kathleen.
“Should I leave?” asked Shawn.
“No,” Kathleen replied.
They both sat there in silence after their exchange. It seemed that Shawn was in trouble and Kathleen was trying to help him. I couldn’t understand much but I knew that something was out of place. Something was not as it was supposed to be.
“Well we can’t do much about this now but worry,” said Kathleen.
“We should focus on more current problems,” said Shawn, “like the living situation.”
“Ah yes! Well I did prepare an apartment for you three since I don’t have enough space for all of you,” said Kathleen.
“That’s really kind of you,” I spoke up.
“It’s no problem,” Kathleen waved. “You can move your things and sleep there tonight. It should be ready by now.”
“Shall we head there, then?” Shawn said.
“On one condition,” Kathleen put up her index finger, “you have to leave Michael with me for a few hours.”
I looked at her incredulously.
“I have some teachers coming in who will assess where Michael is at in terms of reading, writing, mathematics, and shifter abilities. We just want to know exactly where to place him in the school system,” Kathleen explained.
I looked at her for a moment. “Come and get me if absolutely anything happens,” I said.
Kathleen smiled sweetly. “I will,” she said.
* * *
“Shawn”
Rachel and I headed to the apartment complex that Kathleen had mentioned. We entered the elevator together in silence and exited in the same fashion. I wasn’t sure what to talk about with Rachel so I kept my mouth shut in hopes that she would start a conversation.
We made it to the apartment and Rachel unlocked the door. As we entered the fresh scent of linen greeted us. The first room was a combined kitchen and living room. There was a hallway which Rachel explored to find three doors, which meant it was a two bedroom apartment. It was already furnished with couches, a television set, and beds, there was even cutlery in the kitchen drawers. Rachel came back from exploring the hallway. She looked determined as she walked over to me.
“Did you find anything interesting?” I asked.
She answered by kissing me full on the lips, passionate and urgent. I replied by kissing her back in the same fashion. Rachel pushed forward until she had my back against the wall. I felt one of her hands snake up my shirt and caress my side.
“Rachel, are you sure?” I asked, breaking the kiss.
“About?” she said as her hands began undoing my belt.
“About us,” I said.
“What do you mean?” she replied, her hands slowing down to a stop.
“Is this what you really want?” I asked. “Did you want a relationship or did you want sex?”
Rachel stopped for a moment. “I have no idea,” she said as she stepped back.
“I can give you sex, but I’m not sure I can give you a relationship. Not when I don’t know what’s going to happen the next day with my life,” I said. “I could be dead in the next week with the phoenix hot on my tail.”
“I don’t want you to die,” said Rachel.
“Why?” I asked.
“I want you,” Rachel admitted. “I don’t know how, but I do know that I want you.”
“What does that mean, Rachel?” I asked with a whine. “I’m worried that you want something that I can’t give!”
“I want you to want me!” Rachel replied. “I want you to think of me when you can… to wish you were by my side when you aren’t.”
“You already have that,” I admitted.
“Do I?” asked Rachel with a frown.
“You do,” I answered. “I think of you as my best night, and I always wondered what it would be like if that night was every night of my life.” I couldn’t believe I was admitting that I fantasized about her, but Rachel needed to hear this now. She needed to know that I was on her side, whether it be as a friend or lover or complete stranger.
“Me too,” Rachel said. “I missed you for so long after you had left.”
Rachel’s blue eyes met mine and I searched them for answers. Was this the truth that she was telling? Was this the reality of what had happened between us all those years ago?
“I told you, you would never see me again,” I said. “You should have let that hope go.”
“I couldn’t,” Rachel replied. “It was the best night of my life.”
We looked at each other for a moment. Then Rachel took my hand and led me to a bedroom. She closed the door behind us.
“Join me on the bed, Shawn,” Rachel commanded.
We both lay down on our sides facing each other.
“Do you trust me?” I asked.
“I know you won’t lie to me,” said Rachel.
“I’m on your side, no matter what. After all, it was me who brought you into this mess,” I said.
“It’s not a complete mess,” said Rachel, “after all, we got Michael out of it.”
“That’s very true,” I replied.
I gazed into Rachel’s blue eyes.
“Don’t lie, but can we make this work?” Rachel asked.
“This?” I asked.
Rachel gestured to herself then me. “Us, can we make us work?” she asked.
I was silent for a moment and I thought. What separated us before was the fact that I couldn’t let her know that I was a shifter but now she knows, now she’s going to be a big part of the community, she won’t be abl
e to leave it so she’ll make her mark.
“Yes,” I replied, “we can make us work.”
Rachel’s smile then was so soft and wonderful. Her face crinkled slightly and her eyes twinkled.
“You’re beautiful,” I said.
Rachel looked away from me. “You’re handsome,” she replied after a moment.
We looked at each other and laughed.
“What now?” Rachel asked.
I hummed. “We fuck?” I suggested.
“No I mean, what are we?” Rachel asked.
“I guess that means we’re together?” I said.
We both smiled at one another.
I moved forward and placed a kiss on Rachel’s nose, forehead, and lips. I was intentionally soft and gentle. I wanted her to know that appreciated her company and her sacrifices for us.
“I’m worried,” Rachel said.
“Why?” I asked.
“I’m worried that I won’t be happy,” Rachel admitted.
I had to admit her life was basically turned upside down. I was used to having the rug pulled out from underneath me but for her it meant leaving behind everything she had ever known. “I’ll be with you, and if you aren’t happy, we will talk to Kathleen and try to figure something out.”
“I can’t leave Michael behind,” Rachel said.
“I know, I know,” I said as I pulled her into a hug.
Rachel’s head rested on my chest as I rubbed her back. Her own arms wrapped around my torso and squeezed.
“You can do this,” I comforted.
CHAPTER 12
“Rachel”
Shawn comforted me as I felt the world crash down once again. It made me smile how supportive he was, especially since I was probably going through something similar to what he had felt when he moved from Ireland to the states.
“Can we still...?” I asked without finishing my sentence.
“Have sex?” Shawn replied.
“Yeah,” I said.
“God, yes,” he answered.
Just as quick as Shawn answered, my hands found his belt once again and undid it with ease.
