by kendra Smith
She’d had a few texts from Ed – he and Adity were travelling the length of Vietnam from Ho Chi Minh in the south to Hanoi in the north. His texts were brief and friendly, but she sensed a shift in their relationship.
She’d take Taffie for long walks along the beach, her eyes scanning the length of the sand in case she saw a familiar figure. She never did. The pain was almost physical some days, and at times, she allowed her mind wander to Greg, but mostly, she tried to shut it out. He hadn’t tried to contact her and she knew it was over. Whenever her phone bleeped, a tiny part of her always hoped it was Greg. It never was.
She’d heard the odd snippet from folk coming into the shop about the water sports centre, or she’d see a photo in the local newspaper of kids there on school trips. Once, she picked him out from a staff line-up in the local newspaper, something about a charity regatta. He was in the front row, grinning, his arm slung around a petite blonde. It had been like a shard of glass lodging in her heart. Life had clearly moved on for him. At times, she’d find tears streaming down her face as she became lost in thought, mesmerised by the paints and the roar of the fire, remembering how he used to hold her, run a finger up the inside of her forearm, kiss her on the top of her head. Or she’d fall asleep with Taffie by her side on the sofa, wake wearily at 3 a.m. and crawl into a cold bed.
50
‘Mum? How are you?’ Ed was staring at her from the iPad, which she’d propped up behind some books on the kitchen table.
‘Yeah, great,’ she fibbed. ‘The café’s keeping me busy, I’m really loving it.’ That bit was true. Tell him about the painting, said a little voice. Don’t tell him you’re sad. They were calling from the Philippines.
She told him about the pottery, selling a few pieces, the man coming from the newspaper. Small bits of news like that were easier to discuss than the chasm that had opened up in her heart that she was trying to paper over.
‘That’s great, Mum.’ He seemed to be smiling a lot.
‘Anyway how are you, darling; how’s Adity? How’s it all going?’
‘Yeah, great, we’re in Bulabog Beach, Boracay – it’s awesome! Anyway, that’s why we’re calling.’
The screen went a bit fuzzy and then Adity appeared at the front of the screen. ‘Hi, Maddie!’ She was wearing a white T-shirt and her hair was scraped back with a red hairband. She waved at Maddie. She looked young, fragile, beautiful. Ed had moved behind her, but then he lifted up her hand and shoved it in front of the camera. Suddenly Maddie was looking at a shiny gold ring with a tiny diamond in the middle.
‘So, Mum, yeah, er, we’re engaged!’
And there it was. Her life had just been catapulted into an entirely new direction. One minute, he was bound for
university, graduation, a job somewhere and saving for a deposit on a flat; now engaged to a beautiful Indonesian girl. Would he stay in Asia? She plastered a smile onto her face.
‘Oh, Ed! What a shoc— um, surprise. Congratulations! What next?’ She wanted to talk to him about young love, about how things changed, about not being seduced by an intoxicatingly beautiful girl and what would the future hold, but she thought it best to say nothing at the moment.
‘Well, Adity’s now applying to uni in the UK, aren’t you?’ He turned to look at Adity and smiled at her as the screen flickered for a while.
Maddie exhaled. ‘Right.’
‘Well, she’s transferring her course from Jakarta, so we will go to uni together, then get married.’
‘Great idea.’ Maddie beamed. And then she lost them; the screen went fuzzy.
Would love be enough? Should Maddie intervene and tell Ed that maybe he was making a mistake?
Then a little voice inside her head said, Oh and you got it all right, did you? She swept some crumbs off the table and put her chin in her hands.
Who could she call? His dad or his real dad? Both of them were a no-go zone as far as she was concerned. She would never pick up the phone to Tim for advice on Ed, and how could she pick up the phone to Greg about Ed? He’d probably never talk to her again. But she had to talk to him, tell him. She glanced out at the bay. The water was dark and broody today with a murky, aubergine sky swirling above it.
‘Mum? You still there?’ The screen flickered.
‘Yes! Ed.’ She leant into view.
‘The thing is, we’re coming back to the UK, and Adity wants a party but, Mum, we want to do it properly—’
‘Have it here! At Maris Cottage! I insist!’ It was out of her mouth before she could think twice.
It was one way of getting Ed to come back for a bit. He needed to get things ready for uni – he’d been away for seven months now. She shook her head. First things first, she would plan the best party for them, get to know Adity better and help Ed on his way to his new life.
She was desperate to see Greg – she would happily skip over a pit of snarling alligators to get to him. Could she get Greg to the party? Try to build a bridge? Or would Ed just smash it down? He’d be furious if she invited him, and yet Greg was his father. She could have them both in the one place. It could be amazing. She twisted a loose strand of hair around her forefinger. She wanted the party to be one to remember. And, despite all the sadness she felt, there was a tiny flicker of hope, too.
51
‘You want to borrow a cow, love?’
It was mid May and the sun was strong for the time of year, warming Maddie’s skin. It was so good to feel its warmth on her cheek again. The grass was lush after all the rain of early spring, and you could almost taste summer in the air; she could hear some mistle thrushes in the distance.
‘Yes, for a party.’
‘A party. Don’t you need a hog then? Like a hog roast?’
The farmer was looking at her strangely, leaning on his car door. She’d just caught him as he was going out. Maddie had left Lauren at the café so she could sort out a ‘surprise’ for Adity at the party.
‘No! It’s not to eat; it’s just, well, to have. In the garden.’
‘Right. Let’s get this straight. You want a cow, to be tethered to a stake, at your party?’
‘Yes – my well, soon-to-be daughter-in-law is Hindu and it’s a surprise for her. They’re sacred animals.’
‘Well—’ he turned and looked behind him into a field ‘—you can borrow the old girl over there.’ And he nodded to a cow in the distance. Maddie looked over and saw a few cows and calves resting under a tree.
‘Placid. She won’t cause any mischief. I’ll send Angus round and we can fix that up.’
‘Thanks.’ Maddie grinned and touched him lightly on his sleeve.
That was one thing sorted. Maddie had driven two miles along the inland road towards Chillerton to speak to Anthony the farmer. Ed had called her again last night to check it was all sorted and they’d gone over a few more details. A surprise.
Now all she had to do was sort out a pop-up and a BBQ and order in some drinks. Lauren had turned out to be great at party-planning and bunting. Next, she was off to the hardware store to buy a BBQ for the party. The party was three weeks on Saturday and she’d invited some old friends of Ed’s from school who were coming down from the mainland, a few people from Brightwater Bay, Pearl, who she saw from time to time still, Lauren and Sue. As well as Carole plus Rachel and a few others from the choir. It would be a fantastic evening.
As she pulled into the hardware store, she braked hard. His van. It had the familiar logo of the water sports centre. Her chest felt tight. She wanted to speak to him, but not like this. But just as she had that thought, she saw him stride out of the shop, with a few tools clutched under one arm and he headed to the van. Now was her chance. He still wasn’t answering her calls. She quickly leapt out of the car and crossed the car park.
Greg stopped in his tracks when he saw her.
‘Maddie – I really don’t—’ His voice was clipped.
‘I just wanted to talk to you, Greg – is that so bad?’
‘Maddie, I have
n’t been able to talk to you, I was so mad with you.’
Was.
Then his eyes softened as he saw the hurt in her eyes. ‘Look, I did get your texts, but…’ He hesitated. ‘It’s more than I can take, Maddie, and the divorce is going through with Tiggy – it’s been really stressful. She’s being difficult about everything. And I don’t think…’ He yanked at his collar. ‘I just – look…’ He glanced at the van. ‘I can’t see where we go from here. There’s too much to get over, isn’t there? How do we fix things between us now?’ He held her gaze for the longest time, then turned to walk away.
‘Ed’s engaged.’
Greg stopped in his tracks.
‘Greg! Mate, c’mon!’ A face appeared from the passenger side of the van.
‘Sorry, Bruce.’ He turned to look at Maddie. ‘I have to go.’
‘Greg. Wait. I’m having a party. For Ed. For Adity. Will you come? I’ll text you,’ she added hopefully.
Greg stared at her and she couldn’t make out his expression. She was racked with guilt; she needed him to come, she wanted desperately for him to come. ‘We can talk?’
‘Look, Maddie,’ he said, a dull look in his eyes, ‘you’ve already explained it all. I don’t think there’s much more to talk about. Things haven’t worked out.’ He shook his head. ‘Too many lies.’ She inhaled the oh-so-familiar scent of him and closed her eyes. She knew that all the years of deceit were too much for Greg to forgive – she was just trying to make amends in any way she could.
‘Greg.’ She reached out and grabbed his sleeve. ‘If you do just one thing for me…’ She stared into those hazelnut eyes. ‘Please come? For Ed?’
It was worth a try.
52
It was the last week in May. Ed and Adity were due back next week. The wooden tables in the café were adorned with little terracotta flower pots housing bobbing daffodils in gold and orange – Maddie’s touch – and the shelves at the back were crammed with Maddie’s work. It looked like quite a different space from the dreary plastic-tablecloth café she’d first walked into in December.
She glanced at the shelves at the back. The pottery was gleaming, lined up with handwritten price tags on each piece. She beamed. Her idea had been so successful. On some bowls she simply wrote Brightwater Bay – she had about five different designs, and customers had been starting to come in and ask for personalised decorative plates or bowls. We love your pottery. Can you do us a plate with our name on it? Our anniversary date; it’s for my son’s birthday… And so on.’ And they sold well.
The mark-up on the bulk-bought pottery to the finished produce was high. Sue was delighted. The hummingbird plates were bestsellers. She painted the delicate bird on small plates and they sold as jewellery or key holders. She had captured the peacock-blues on their bodies, their tiny bronze and yellow wings, a flick of the brush to depict their elegant beaks searching out nectar in the candy-floss-coloured blossom.
‘Oh, it’s sooo romantic, isn’t it? Your lovely Ed and that beautiful Adity – she’s exquisite, like a beautiful doll. I can’t wait to meet her at the party.’ Lauren was behind the counter with Maddie, holding a tea towel in her hand, and then she started to dance with it. She flicked it at Maddie.
‘Hey stop that! We’ve got work to do.’ Maddie smiled, despite herself. She noticed a customer was nodding at her, so she went over to help, her mind full of food she had to get, how she would fix the pop-ups around the back garden, what should she do if it rained.
Adity had said on her last Skype call that she wanted it to be a ‘rustic’ theme, although the word ‘rustic’ had come out like ‘rusty’ and Maddie had laughed.
The BBQ was sorted. Adity had also mentioned a singer on acoustic guitar – that was fine too as Lauren had volunteered to do that. Luckily, the ‘surprise’ cow was arranged as well.
She’d texted Tim and left voicemails about Ed’s news but had heard nothing. She had written to him at the last address she’d had in Little Rowland – Linda’s address, for heaven’s sake – suggesting that they start divorce proceedings. That was one thing she was absolutely sure of.
Maddie was back at the coffee machine just getting the milk to the right temperature when the door opened and she glanced round, immediately scalding her thumb.
Greg.
He cast an eye over in her direction and then strode to the back shelf and stopped when he saw the hummingbird plates. He picked one up. Maddie couldn’t breathe. Lauren had been serving a customer and now turned around to face Maddie and touched her on the sleeve.
‘You OK, sweet pea?’
Maddie just nodded. Greg approached them both with two plates. He handed them to Lauren as Maddie stood mutely, clutching the sides of her apron with clenched hands.
‘I’ll have these please, gift-wrapped.’ He smiled at Lauren. ‘They’re painted beautifully.’
Lauren beamed at him, taking the bowls. ‘They sure are by our lovely Maddie here.’
‘Yes, I know,’ he said, glancing Maddie’s way. ‘I saw them in the local newspaper.’
Maddie caught Greg’s eye for a split second, then she turned to the coffee machine, not trusting herself to act normally.
Would he talk to her? She could turn around and start to ask about his job, tell him about the party… But just as she was thinking this the café door banged shut and she let out the breath she’d been holding.
All she could hope for now was that he didn’t hate her. As she heated up the milk for a latte order, she took stock of how far she’d come in some ways: living alone, getting a job, the pottery, standing up to Tim, feeling part of the Brightwater Bay community, decorating Maris Cottage. And yet, as she twisted the nozzle in the milk and watched the milky steam rise, her spirit sank when she realised she’d lost far more than she’d gained.
53
Lauren was halfway up a ladder when Maddie spotted her in the garden.
‘Be careful!’ Maddie shouted.
Lauren turned around and grinned at her, then carried on stringing up some fairy lights on the cherry tree. She was wearing a short denim skirt and had her hair tied up in a bandana. She looked like she was part of a girl band, not lending a hand at garden decorating. Maddie smiled to herself. She’d been such a tonic over the last few months. Ed and Adity had been back a week – visiting Exeter, excitedly chattering about party plans.
As it was early June the rockery at the bottom of the garden was in full bloom, displaying Olive’s beautiful dahlias, the delicate saxifrage and aubrietia in glorious harmony. It was as if a white and purple tapestry blanket had been thrown carelessly across the rocks.
Maddie was just moving the BBQ towards the house, under the pop-up in case it drizzled, (hopefully not) and laying out some coloured water glasses on the wooden table next to it. Tea lights sat in the middle of jam jars and Lauren had sprinkled horseshoe confetti all over the table for good luck.
‘Wow, y’all got some great views from here!’ Lauren shouted, putting her hands on her hips and surveying the garden and the magnificent panorama that spread across the bay.
‘Yes.’ Maddie wandered down to her and stood at the base of the ladder. The cherry tree was in full bloom, its baby pink petals fluttering in the breeze. ‘It’s especially lovely to have the party here.’ She nodded to the shady spot under the tree. ‘It’s where Ed spent many of his summers, in a paddling pool, right here. With Olive.’
Lauren yanked some lights further up the tree. ‘You must miss Olive?’ She adjusted her headband and looked at Maddie.
‘I do, but, in the end, Olive wasn’t the same person. It was the illness.’
Lauren clambered down the ladder and squeezed Maddie’s upper arm. ‘But still, she’s left a gap in your life.’
Maddie nodded.
‘Right,’ said Lauren, handing Maddie a spare bulb, ‘I’m going inside to get my guitar and tune up a little.’
‘Sure. Sue’s coming along later to help with the drinks and Ed’s going to do the BB
Q. I just hope the weather holds out.’ Maddie looked up at the sky. It was still sunny, but rather chilly for June. The border at the bottom of the garden boasted some beautiful foxgloves and some peonies that had been late in flowering this year. Olive would have been proud, Maddie thought to herself as she put her hands on her hips and looked around.
Taffie was bouncing around sniffing at the stake that the farmer had put in earlier, wagging his little tail. We’ll bring the cow later, Maddie, if you’re still sure, he’d said, frowning at her. Maddie didn’t mention that she wasn’t really sure at all. Anyway, she had other things to think about, like hoping she had enough haloumi for the haloumi burgers (another of Adity’s favourites). Lauren had made a ‘jewelled’ couscous salad with red peppers, and Maddie needed to finish off her Mediterranean tomato and olive salad. Sue was providing cupcakes and fruit skewers.
The thought of Greg turning up sent a fluttery sensation right to the pit of her stomach. But would he? Ed wouldn’t be too pleased, but she was desperately hoping the party would bring everyone together.
*
By six o’clock she could smell the BBQ from her bedroom window. The heady mixture of coal smoke, summer breeze and salty air heralded what the later summer months might have in store. Ed was getting the coals ready and Lauren was softly singing, strumming the guitar, her voice soulful and haunting. Maddie listened to ‘Thank You’ by Dido – one of her favourites – and smiled as she looked out of her bedroom window. It was a clear evening, and the sun was still shining brightly. Some rain was forecast for later, so she’d put the pop-up over the table and BBQ just in case.
There was the faint roar of a motorbike in the distance as she glanced at herself in the mirror on her dressing table. She was wearing a pink silk halter-neck dress, an old Monsoon dress that hadn’t fitted her for several years, but it did now; it had slipped over her easily, thanks to her beach walks and keeping active at the café. The baby-pink of the dress set off her glossy brown hair nicely whilst her skin was a flattering shade of honey from being outside so much more. She perched a flower garland around her hair (this was for Adity’s ‘rustic’ theme; all the guests were to wear them either around their neck – men – or on their hair – women).
