by C. J. Miller
Gemma knew her brother could keep his temper, but Rafe was pressing his buttons, like he did with everyone. She rushed to intervene before it escalated into fists being thrown. “I called in an order for pizza. Let’s go pick it up together. I think we’re hungry and cranky and we can talk after we’ve eaten.” Hot pizza had to appeal more than the now cold carryout Rafe had ordered from the diner.
Gemma set her hand on her brother’s shoulder and smiled at Danny, hoping to show him she was a friend. This didn’t have to be a knock-down, drag-out fight. Nothing ever did.
“Fine. Pizza and a conversation,” Rafe said.
Flint seemed relieved that he wouldn’t have to force answers out of them.
Ten minutes later, they were sitting in Rafe’s kitchen. He was playing host remarkably well. She wouldn’t have expected him to set out plates or napkins or serve drinks.
“Danny, I’m not trying to get you into trouble,” Flint said.
Rafe tensed.
“But Dr. Rand accused you of attacking him,” Flint said.
Rafe sat next to Danny and put his hand on Danny’s chair. They might be on Rafe’s turf, but he was as defensive of Danny as he had been at the station.
“I didn’t attack anyone,” Danny said, looking at the floor and sounding miserable.
“I’ve spoken to your teachers, and I know you were in school when the clinic was burglarized and vandalized, but Dr. Rand was clear it was you who attacked him,” Flint said.
“He’s crazy,” Danny said. “He doesn’t like me.”
Gemma wished he had better answers. Dr. Rand certainly wasn’t the Colton family’s biggest fan after what had happened with her brother Theo and Rand’s ex-wife Mimi, but Dr. Rand was a good doctor and he had no reason to lie about what had happened to him.
Fifteen more minutes and they were getting nowhere, even though Rafe was encouraging Danny to tell Flint where he had been after leaving school. Flint believed Danny had seen or knew something that could help them.
Flint seemed frustrated.
“You just want to leave,” Danny said to his plate.
The comment was obviously directed at Rafe.
It was Rafe’s turn to look frustrated. “Danny, we’ve known from the first day you came to live with me that this was temporary.”
“Does it have to be?” Danny asked.
He sounded so hopeful and sincere Gemma turned her head to hide the tears that came to her eyes. Danny reminded her of herself and her brothers when they had asked their father to stay. He never had. It was better that he hadn’t.
Rafe seemed flummoxed. “Yes, it’s temporary.”
Danny appeared crushed.
“Danny, it’s late and you have school tomorrow. You agreed you would let Rafe know where you are and what you’re doing. You’ll have to stick to that plan really closely,” Gemma said. It had been one of Gram Dottie’s rules and it had worked for the most part. At least if they knew were Danny was, it would avoid panic and confusion.
“He doesn’t always answer his phone when I call,” Danny said, pointing at Rafe.
“If I’m with a patient and I can’t, leave me a voice mail or call Gemma,” Rafe said.
Gemma hid her surprise. He was giving her some responsibility with Danny? Rafe looked at her as if to question if it was okay and she nodded.
“Hit the shower, Danny. I’ll be up to say good-night, okay?” Rafe asked.
Danny and Rafe clapped each other on the shoulder before Danny did as Rafe asked.
“I need to head home,” Flint said. “Nina is waiting for me. You want a ride, Gemma?”
“I’ll finish my pizza and then I can walk back to the clinic to pick up my car,” Gemma said.
Flint looked between Gemma and Rafe, but Gemma ignored the silent question. Nothing was going on between her and Rafe. They were coworkers. She wasn’t a high school girl with unchecked hormones. She was a grown woman and she could make her own decisions.
“You are not walking anywhere alone,” Flint said. “The last time you went for a walk you were almost killed.”
She hadn’t been almost killed. An exaggeration.
Gemma touched her throat where the bruises had mostly healed. She’d been walking alone, trying to clear her head, needing time to think and someone had pulled her in to an abandoned alleyway along Main Street. “I defended myself.”
“You were lucky,” Flint said.
Rafe eyed her. “There’s a killer loose, Gemma. It’s a bad idea to walk alone.”
“At least we agree on that,” Flint said.
Gemma wasn’t foolish. She knew to be careful. “I won’t let these problems make me paranoid.”
“I’ll give her a ride to the clinic to pick up her car,” Rafe said, as if it settled the matter.
Gemma wouldn’t decline. Thinking of the night she was attacked was enough to make her feel afraid, despite her brave words to the contrary.
“Night, Flint,” Gemma said, wanting to make it clear that she wouldn’t stand for an argument about it, especially not in front of Rafe. She was safe with Rafe. She was even safe with Danny. She couldn’t picture the young man hurting her or anyone. There had to be an explanation for Dr. Rand’s accusation. Maybe the attacker looked like Danny or maybe Dr. Rand had been shaken up and had been mistaken.
They said their goodbyes and Gemma took another slice of pizza from the box.
“You’re really good with him,” Rafe said.
“Flint or Danny?” Gemma asked.
Rafe laughed, a deep male laughter that sounded good to her ears. “Both, but I was referring to Danny.”
“He’s a good kid and he’s scared,” Gemma said.
Rafe furrowed his brows. “Of going to jail?”
Gemma shook her head. “Of you leaving. Of something bad happening to you. People in his life who he’s loved have let him down. It’s a hard place to be.”
“It’s a hard lesson to learn, but isn’t that life? People who love us let us down. It’s what happens.”
His negativity surprised her. “I don’t believe that. My grandmother and my brothers don’t let me down.”
Rafe shrugged. “Consider yourself lucky.”
Rafe hadn’t had an idyllic childhood, but at least his parents had been around for him, and after his father got sober, it seemed their relationship had improved, at least from an outsider’s perspective. When Rafe was out of state, his parents had spoken of him often as if they were a close-knit family. “I’m sorry you feel like everyone disappoints you.”
“I wasn’t talking about myself,” Rafe said.
“Weren’t you?” Gemma asked.
“Has anyone ever told you that you pry too much?” Rafe asked. He leaned closer to her and seemed to study her face.
Gemma touched a napkin to her lips, wondering if she had smeared pizza sauce. “I am not prying. I care about people.”
Rafe looked from her lips back to her eyes. A scorching look and she felt the intensity from her mouth to her toes.
“That will be your downfall,” Rafe said.
He stayed close. Was he thinking about kissing her? Gemma wasn’t sure what to say or do. If she closed the distance between them, would Rafe characteristically pull away?
She waited. Rafe called uncle first. He stood. “It’s late. When you finish eating, I’ll take you to your car.”
After telling Danny he’d be out for a few minutes, Gemma followed him to his car.
This time, Rafe drove. “Coming back was a mistake,” Rafe said.
Gone was his characteristic confidence.
“It wasn’t,” Gemma said. “You’ve done good here.”
“Danny is angry at me for needing to leave,” Rafe said.
“I know,” Gem
ma said. Now wasn’t the time to tell him again that she thought he should stay, that passing through wasn’t fair to anyone who’d grown to care about him. “Maybe you can tell him you’ll visit.” Was she putting the thought out for Danny or herself? Would Rafe visit Dead River? Rafe hadn’t been back to Dead River except for after his parents had passed. His return in October had been a surprise.
“I don’t like to make promises I can’t keep and I don’t think staying in Danny’s life is fair to his new family. He has to give them a chance and I don’t know if he can do that with me showing up every few months.”
The chances of someone adopting Danny were slim. He was looking at a few years of being shuffled around between foster homes. Maybe he’d strike it lucky and someone would keep him for the next four years, but at least having Rafe in his life would provide some consistency.
“Say it, Gemma,” Rafe said.
“Aren’t I allowed private thoughts?” she asked, not wanting to rock the boat with him. He’d been clear at the diner he didn’t want her two cents’ worth on matters pertaining to his life.
“You are, but you need to speak up for yourself more often. You champion everyone else’s cause, but never your own.”
“I like to be careful what I say, since I can’t get the words back.”
“Sometimes, you just need to spit it out and not worry about the consequences.”
“Why do I have the feeling you’re the one who has something to say?” Gemma asked.
The clinic was ahead on the right. Would Rafe finish this conversation with her or use the time as an excuse to end it?
“I know you had a crush on me in high school. You didn’t say anything. Was that because admitting it was embarrassing for you?” Rafe asked.
Gemma sputtered. “What? You knew?” Why was that so humiliating? Had she been obvious and blatant about it?
“Flint told me.”
“When?” she asked.
“At some point in high school,” Rafe said.
Gemma silently promised Flint she would get him back for that. “Every girl in school had a crush on you.”
“That’s incorrect,” Rafe said.
“It seemed true enough to me,” Gemma said.
“You could have told me,” Rafe said.
Gemma rolled her eyes. “Right. I didn’t have that confidence and even if I did, what would come of it? You shooting me down? Telling me ‘no’ in front of my brothers so they could tease me about it mercilessly?”
Rafe appeared taken aback. “I wouldn’t have done that.”
Said no or humiliated her? “If you wanted me to ask you out, why didn’t you ask me?”
Rafe shifted and Gemma sensed a rejection. She felt foolish for asking. That’s what happened when she spoke plainly.
“Forget it,” Gemma said.
“Let me answer. I didn’t ask you on a date because I didn’t date much back then. I didn’t have enough money to take you anywhere worthy of you. I thought being out with me would have embarrassed you. Theo would have pounded me and then Flint would have killed me. I knew I wanted to leave Dead River and I didn’t want any additional reasons to stay.
“You would have been a good reason to stay.”
Wow. Even if he was implying she would have and could have ruined his life by tying him to Dead River, knowing he had thought about asking her out boosted her teenaged self-confidence. “I wouldn’t have guessed.”
Rafe pulled into the clinic’s parking lot.
“I wasn’t big on talking about things back then,” Rafe said.
“You aren’t big about talking about them now. But I do need to correct you. I wouldn’t have been embarrassed to be seen with you. I wasn’t then and I’m not now.”
Buoyed by the knowledge she had caught Rafe’s eye all those years ago, she leaned across the seat and kissed his cheek. “Thanks for the ride.”
She hurried out of the car before he could respond. Cowardly, yes, but absolutely critical if she wanted to keep distance from a man who she knew could easily break her heart.
* * *
Gemma was running five minutes late for work, having dragged this morning getting ready. The long, frequent shifts were wearing on her, but she was determined to find a cure.
Then life would go back to normal. At least, as far normal as it would be after Rafe left Dead River.
It was silly to have feelings for Rafe. He had left before and she’d suffered the heartbreak of losing her crush. He was closed off and Gemma had made the mistake before of getting involved with a man who wasn’t available. It wouldn’t end well for anyone. She had to keep her distance.
Dr. Colleen Goodhue had worked overnight to set up the lab, test their equipment and take inventory of what supplies they had remaining. Though they had some test results they’d uploaded to the CDC for review, the stolen samples were the most devastating loss to their work. They’d kept notes on the samples in the lab including the optimum growth conditions and reactions with possible antidotes.
Suited in her protective gear, Gemma entered the lab through the air-stop chamber.
Rafe was already working and didn’t look up when she entered. What time had he arrived? Had he slept at all? Their conversation from the night before reran piecemeal through her thoughts. He was devastatingly sexy, alluringly honest and frustratingly distant. The combination was playing with fire and she wasn’t looking to be burned again. She could tell herself she could handle a fling, and she could, but not with a man like Rafe.
“How can I help?” Gemma asked.
Rafe lifted his head from the microscope. “You’re late.”
Gemma fell back a step. Gone was the sweetness she had encountered in his car the night before. She hadn’t had enough sleep, and irritation sharpened her tongue. “That is what I was trying to talk to you about at the diner. No one is resting on their laurels. I am doing my best. You don’t need to tell me I’m late. I know it. It’s not like I’m being paid overtime and even if I was, don’t I get some credit for giving up every spare moment I have to work on this?”
Rafe blinked at her. She couldn’t read his face under his mask, the glare from the overhead lights not making his eyes clear.
“Say something,” she said. Dr. Goodhue would not approve of violence in the lab, but Gemma would shake him out of his emotional stupor.
“I’m glad you took my advice to heart,” Rafe said.
“What advice was that?” Gemma asked.
“Sticking up for yourself,” Rafe said. He returned to his work and Gemma checked her temper. She would get nowhere by pressing him and they had much to do.
“Just tell me where we are,” Gemma said, taking a seat next to Rafe.
“I’m taking pictures of every step. It’s faster than writing everything down. Dr. Goodhue couldn’t salvage our computer and we hadn’t uploaded our last batch of data to the CDC. She’s ordered another one, but in the meantime, this will have to be enough.”
When they had labeled each of the samples they’d taken and recorded their observations, Gemma lifted the tray to return it to the refrigerator.
“Careful, don’t drop them.”
Gemma set the tray on the counter and whirled on him. “You do not have to tell me to be careful. You do not have to instruct me like I am about to screw up at every turn. I am always careful when I am in here. My grandmother and my best friend’s lives are at stake!” Gemma felt tears coming to her eyes and she blinked at them, unable to wipe at them from under her suit.
“I think we need a break,” Rafe said.
Gemma glared at him. “Is it so hard for you to apologize for being an ogre?”
“I’ve always been this way. What’s changed? Why are you upset about it now?” he asked.
What had changed? For him, nothi
ng. Everything was still right as rain in Rafe’s world. He was the center of it and she was in orbit somewhere around him. Her irritation with him was based somewhat on his frank admission to her last night before shutting her out today.
High school and her crush on him—former and current—should be nothing to her. Feelings for Rafe should roll off her like water on a duck. But confronting those untested emotions was troubling.
Rafe carried the samples to the refrigerator.
Gemma exited the lab, standing under the chemical shower before stripping off her protective gear and hanging it to dry in the cubby.
Standing in the clinic in her scrubs, she waited for Rafe to join her.
When he stepped out of the air-stop chamber, her breath caught in her throat. It was wrong for a man who was this big of a jerk to look this good to her. She’d always had a thing for a man in scrubs and now that it was Rafe, she was absolutely beside herself. Her breasts tightened and she felt drawn to him, desperate to slake the sensations moving like a storm through her.
She eyed his broad shoulders, his lean length, and arms and hands she knew were strong and capable. She wanted those hands on her.
“Will you take a walk with me? I think we need to talk,” he said.
What she had in mind wasn’t talking. Jessica said she was sexually repressed because in Dead River, she had her brothers and her grandmother swarming around her. Gemma had laughed, thinking she had plenty of fun with the men she had dated. But Jessica’s words came back to her now and Gemma felt like she needed Rafe to give her something that no other man could. Had she ever felt this attracted to a man? This taken with him? Gemma’s every sexual experience to this point had been deliberate and she had liked being in control of herself and that part of her life. She had the feeling if she was alone with Rafe, she would willingly turn herself over to him and let him do whatever he wanted to her. She would love every single moment.
