“We didn’t figure it out,” he said.
I helped him up and said, “I almost have it.”
“You do?”
“It’s right on the tip of my brain.”
Gerald sighed. “Your brain doesn’t have a tip. It has two hemispheres and—”
I turned away and blocked him out. I didn’t need a lecture. I needed a plan. It was in there. Somewhere in my brain, I had the answer. I just couldn’t quite reach it.
Iris jumped and turned me around. The wall dissolved and revealed Ruffiano and Giacomo. Ruffiano saw me looking at him and saddened. Giacomo sauntered out, smiling. “Good morning. Ready?”
We bunched together and didn’t answer.
Ruffiano came over. “They’ll be here any moment. What have you decided to do, burn Oliverio or have a dragon eat him?”
I could tell that he didn’t want to ask that question, but he did it. He actually asked me how I planned to murder Oliverio. “Neither,” I said.
Ruffiano took me by the arm. “You have no choice. Giacomo can kill the dragons. It will be painful.”
“If he’s a murderer, that’s on him. I’m not.”
Giacomo charged over. “It’s not murder. It’s a duel.”
“It would be a duel if you were fighting it.”
“I can have a champion,” he said. “Oliverio agreed.”
“You didn’t tell him who your champion was going to be,” I said.
“He didn’t ask.”
I rolled my eyes, but they didn’t see it. They’d turned as a large number of Capulets arrived. They hovered beside the rampart and stared at the dragons. Oliverio looked like he was going to throw up. There was an older fairy next to him who began to shake. Giacomo smirked at them and I wanted to smack him. By the look on Ruffiano’s face, he wanted to smack his kid, too.
The Montagues crowded onto the rampart, but, unlike Giacomo, none of them seemed happy. Reluctantly, the Capulets landed as far from the dragons as possible, which made Giacomo grin. He puffed up when he saw the pretty girl from the day before. She looked at him mournfully and his bravado melted away. Interesting.
Oliverio threw back his shoulders and walked over. I had to hand it to him. He didn’t pee or anything. He spoke in Italian. Ruffiano said something about English and then introduced us. Oliverio and the older fairy bowed. I noticed that Ruffiano didn’t mention my title. Giacomo started to, but his father cut him off.
“Welcome, Capulets,” said Ruffiano.
“Welcome?” said Oliverio’s father, Marius. “You are welcoming us to my son’s execution, which you have maneuvered him into.”
The girl hurried over and took Oliverio’s hand. Her eyes smoldered with hate for Giacomo.
“He said I could have a champion,” said Giacomo, withering under her gaze.
Oliverio and Giacomo bickered over who did what to who and my decision popped out of my mouth before I gave it a second thought. “I’m the champion.”
They stared at me and then Oliverio laughed. “A girl? A little girl? Giacomo, I always have known that you have no pride, but you have outdone yourself this time.”
Giacomo turned magenta and stamped his foot. “No, my champion is the green dragon. That one. He’s the one.”
“Nope.” I smiled. “You said that you didn’t care who killed Oliverio, me or one of the dragons. I choose me.”
It was Ruffiano’s turn to have the barfy look. “No, no, Your Highness. You can’t.”
“Wait, what?” asked Marius.
Ruffiano was forced to admit who I was and Marius laughed. This wouldn’t look good to the doge, not to mention the empress. But Giacomo was forced to admit that he did say that. I guess he never expected me to pick me.
“I can’t fight the Princess Royal,” said Oliverio. “This is an execution.”
Marius put his hand on his son’s shoulder. “The princess won’t kill you. How could she?”
I wasn’t sure what he meant by that. I couldn’t because I was a girl or I couldn’t because I was a princess…sort of?
“Actually, I can.” I lit my finger and the Capulets’ mouths fell open. It was very satisfying.
Iris elbowed me. “You wouldn’t.”
“No, but I could,” I said with a big grin at Marius. He paled, but didn’t shrink away from my flame. I extinguished it and said, “Let’s talk.”
“About what?” asked Marius.
Giacomo barged in front of Marius and Oliverio. “You have to kill him. I have your dragons.”
The ribbons tightened around the dragons and they spasmed in pain.
Ruffiano grabbed his son’s arm. “Stop it.”
“I’m not stopping anything. I win. Oliverio loses. He’s out of the picture.”
Weird. What picture?
The girl stepped up and said, “Oliverio will never be out of the picture.”
Giacomo and the girl glared at each other. Everyone else looked as confused as I felt.
I stepped to the side and asked Marius Capulet, “Do you want to keep having this feud? What’s the point?”
Marius threw out his chest. “You don’t understand, Your Highness. Their ancestors insulted mine in the worst possible way.”
That sounded awfully familiar. “How?” I asked.
Marius snapped his fingers at a fairy in the crowd of Capulets. The fairy flew off. Ruffiano snapped his fingers and a Montague flitted away Then both sides stood there glaring at each other like freaks.
“What are we waiting for?” I asked.
“You already know,” said Ruffiano.
“No, she doesn’t,” said Marius.
“Then tell me,” I said.
“I’ll show you.”
“No, I’ll show her.”
I sighed. More pictures of Juliet. Great. The two fairies returned, each carrying a hefty book. The Montague fairy gave his book to Ruffiano and the Capulet fairy handed Marius his burden. It was similar to the book with the Juliet picture.
I held up my hands. “I’ve already seen Juliet.”
Marius smiled at me and opened his book. “You haven’t seen Romeo, I assume.”
“Er…no.”
“I didn’t think so. How like Ruffiano to leave that bit of the story out?” He handed me his book. I wasn’t ready for it and I stumbled sideways.
“How dare you?” yelled Ruffiano. “You could’ve hurt the princess.”
“I didn’t hurt her.”
They went on to yell about book weight. They’d fight about anything at all.
“Let me see,” said Gerald. “I know the play.”
“You can all see,” I said, peering down at an extraordinary face. Romeo was gorgeous, and I mean gorgeous, with flowing blond hair and a symmetrical face and perfect bone structure. “Wow,” I said.
“Oh,” said Leanna.
“Yeah,” said Iris. “Oh my goodness. He’s beautiful.”
“He’s okay,” said Gerald with a pout.
“Look again,” said Leanna.
I looked again. “Is he?”
“An idiot? Yes.”
If you got past the beauty, which wasn’t easy to do, by the way, there were vacant eyes, a slack mouth, and a hint of drool.
Marius pushed his way into our circle. “That’s right. They wanted our brilliant Juliet to marry the stupidest, vainest fairy they ever produced. Turn the page.”
I turned the page to what looked like a grade report and it wasn’t flattering. The word “pigro” was all over the place. I thought I knew that word. Victory used it to describe me when I was learning Italian. “Lazy?”
“Yes,” crowed Marius. He pointed to another phrase. “Willfully ignorant. Mean-spirited and dirty.”
Ruffiano joined us. “He was more than that ugly, snobby Juliet deserved. She thought she was so much better than Romeo.”
“She was!” yelled Marius.
They started screaming in Italian and we backed away.
“This is unbelievable,” I said. “Romeo
and Juliet wasn’t a love story.”
Iris nodded. “Shakespeare switched it.”
“He had to,” said Leanna. “Who would want to watch this?”
The Montagues and Capulets surged forward, pushing and smacking each other. It was crazy. These adults. They were supposed to be telling kids what to do. A couple of women were dancing in a circle, pinching each other’s noses. There was wing pulling and more than a little spitting. It was embarrassing, honestly, and I’d had enough.
I threw up my hands and a display of fireballs exploded over the ramparts. The Montagues and Capulets froze mid-nose-pinch and some aborted spit rolled down chins. “That’s enough. I thought my parents were embarrassing, but they never spit on anyone. Romeo and Juliet was forever ago. Get over it.”
Marius let go of Ruffiano’s collar. “His ancestors thought our Juliet would sully his bloodline. Ludicrous!”
“Juliet broke mirrors, she was so hideous,” said Ruffiano.
“She was brilliant, a philosopher and a doctor. Romeo’s hobby was collecting the lint from his navel.”
Here we go again.
I formed two brilliant fireballs in my palms. They snapped and hissed, sending glowing corkscrews of flame down to the brick we stood on. “Enough or somebody’s going to play catch with me and you’re not going to like it.”
“Your Highness,” said Ruffiano. “You’re young. You can’t possibly understand.”
“I’ve seen all kinds of battles and death.”
Marius shoved Ruffiano aside. “This is different.”
“You sent your worst to unite our families,” shouted Ruffiano.
“Romeo drooled because he thought it was funny. It wasn’t funny!”
I’ve got it.
“Yeah. This is totally different than the other stuff I’ve seen. This is stupid,” I said. “It’s your own ancestors’ fault.”
That started a whole bunch of yelling about insults. I made my fireballs the size of my head and rolled them toward Marius and Ruffiano. They stumbled backward and my fire stopped just short of their toes. My fire was good that way. “Knock it off or I’m going to play bowling for crazy.”
“Your Highness, you must understand,” said Marius.
“I understand that nobody wanted to marry Juliet, brilliant as she was. She was kind of a pain the way really smart fairies can be, always lecturing and implying everyone’s stupid. Isn’t that right?”
Marius looked at his feet and Ruffiano said with triumph, “That’s right. She was always explaining things, even when nobody asked.”
I snapped my fingers and my fireballs melted into the brick. “Did anyone want to marry the beautiful drooler?”
Marius looked up. “Of course not. He spent the betrothal dinner sniffing his pits and seeing how far he could spit on the table.”
“So neither family sent their best. They were trying to unload their obnoxious kids.”
Marius and Ruffiano glanced at each other for the first time without loathing.
“There’s history,” said Ruffiano. “Deaths and thefts to consider.”
“So don’t make any more history. Just forget about Romeo and Juliet.”
Marius stepped forward. “Juliet…well, you know what happened.”
“It happened to Romeo, too. He couldn’t bear to touch that troll.”
“She didn’t want to get drooled on.”
I held up my hands. “Wait! Romeo and Juliet hated each other for good reason.”
“Yes,” the entire crowd of Montagues and Capulets said together.
“And,” I said slowly, “the families were going to make them get married anyway?”
Ruffiano stepped forward. “You see, Your Highness—”
“Yes or no?” I asked.
Everyone looked at their feet. Adults. How stupid can you get? No wonder Shakespeare changed it. They were idiots. “That’s why they did it,” I said. “It’s everyone’s fault.”
“The Capulets could’ve relented.”
“So could the Montagues.”
It never ended. They would always find something to accuse the other side of. Maybe they liked feuding. The yelling started up again and I saw Leanna and Iris put their heads together out of the corner of my eyes. Then Iris raised her hand like she was in class.
“Quiet!” I yelled. “My sister has something to say.”
“She’s a child,” protested Marius.
“She’s the future Cardinal of Vienna.”
They grumbled, obviously not convinced.
“Quiet!” I yelled again. “She’s smarter than you lot. Go ahead, Iris.”
Iris spoke so quietly that nobody could hear what she said. I read her lips and she was brilliant. Iris did know love.
“What?” yelled a Capulet woman with a swollen nose.
“My sister, whose gift is love, says you just need a new Romeo and Juliet,” I said, going over and hugging Iris fiercely. “You are so smart. I never would’ve thought of that.”
Gerald frowned. “It doesn’t make any sense. Where are they going to get a stupid boy and an ugly girl from?”
Horc belched. “I see. We will not get the same Romeo and Juliet. We will get some that like each other. There will be good return on this investment. I approve.”
Iris hugged him and kissed one of his lumps. She grimaced. Horc was pretty stank.
“None of our children like each other,” said Ruffiano with the absolute confidence of a parent who knows nothing.
I pointed to the pretty girl holding onto Oliverio’s hand. “Who’s she?”
Marius frowned. “My daughter, Aurelia. You don’t think she would ever consider marrying a Montague.”
Iris raised her hand again. “Yes, she would. She likes Giacomo.”
Aurelia turned bright pink. “No, I don’t. He wanted to kill my brother.”
“How come?” I asked.
“Because…because…”
“He’s a drooling, pit-sniffing spitter?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Giacomo is nothing like that.” Aurelia clapped her hands over her mouth.
Marius marched over and gave his daughter a little shake. “How would you know that? You’ve never spoken to him in your life.”
“Yes, she has,” said Oliverio angrily. “I caught them holding hands. I told that worthless, lying Montague I’d skin him and feed his bones to the alligators.”
“You have alligators?” I asked.
“No.”
“Then why would you…oh, never mind. Aurelia and Giacomo like each other. At least we know why Giacomo was so stupid.”
“Hey,” said Giacomo.
Ruffiano grabbed his son by the shirt. “This duel was really about a girl? That girl?”
“Yes.”
Ruffiano hugged him. “You are stupid. My idiot son, ready to risk his life for a girl. Now that’s love. What do you say, Marius? Shall we let these two walk the ramparts together?”
“No!” yelled Oliverio. “He isn’t good enough for my sister. He might spit. You don’t know.”
“I know,” said Aurelia, going to Giacomo and taking his hand. “He is stupid with the whole duel thing, but I like him.”
“No!” yelled Oliverio.
“Quiet, my son,” said Marius. “Perhaps there’s a Montague in this reconciliation for you.”
“Father!”
“It’s done. They will walk the ramparts and we will come together as we should have all those years ago.”
Marius and Ruffiano kissed each other’s cheeks and shook on it. Giacomo and Aurelia kissed. Oliverio fumed and we celebrated. I didn’t have to fight anyone. It was weird. I wasn’t sure what to do.
Gerald raised his hand. “Can you let our dragons go now since you’re happy?”
Giacomo waved his hand and the golden ribbons disappeared. The dragons leapt to their feet and inhaled, ready to fry him on the spot. I flew up in front of them. “No! Don’t do it. We’re just going to leave.”
Ovid shot
high flames from his nostrils, but he wasn’t looking at Giacomo. I turned and Ruffiano had Iris by the arm. She was wrapped in golden ribbons.
Come on!
We sat in the grand dining room. Iris was still wrapped up and I was furious. “How can you do this?” I asked Ruffiano.
“I regret it, but I must obey the doge.”
“But we fixed your feud. Nobody got killed and Giacomo is in love.”
Marius nodded. “We are eternally grateful.”
“Not that grateful. You’ve imprisoned my sister.”
“Imprisoned is a strong word.”
Ruffiano waved at the servants who were waiting at the door. They brought trays of fruit and pastry. Marius made me a plate and I crossed my arms.
“You must eat, Your Highness,” he said.
“Release my sister.”
Ruffiano and Marius whispered together.
Marius finally asked, “Do we have your word that you won’t try to escape?”
Try? No. I’ll succeed.
Gerald elbowed me. “Go ahead. I want to go to the library.”
“How can you think about the library with Iris like that?” I asked.
Iris glared at him over the ribbon smushing her nose.
He grabbed my hand and squeezed. “They have so many books I haven’t read and I can’t do anything for Iris.” Another squeeze. “Can we just eat? You know we’re going back to Venice no matter what.”
“Gerald!” said Leanna.
“You know it’s true. Why can’t I go to the library while we’re still here?”
I squeezed his hand and said, “Fine. But I want to know why we have to go back to Venice.”
“Do I have your word as a member of the House of Hapsburg that you will not try to escape?” asked Ruffiano.
He seemed like he would buy it if I said yes. Sometimes, adults could be so dumb. My word as a member of the House of Hapsburg? Yeah, sure. Why not? I wasn’t really a member. I was super fake.
“I promise,” I said. “As a future Hapsburg empress. Good enough? Let Iris go.”
“You won’t regret it, Your Highness,” said Marius.
I know.
“Release her.”
Ruffiano pounded on the table to get Giacomo’s attention. He was smooching with Aurelia at the end of the table. He gazed into her eyes and waved in our general direction. The ribbons disappeared and Iris gasped, slumping forward against the table. I hugged her and brushed the tears off her cheeks. “Okay?”
To the Eternal (Away From Whipplethorn Book Five) Page 26
