“I changed my mind,” she murmured against his shoulder blade. Owen turned quickly to face her, wrapping his arms around her waist.
“Dessert first?” he guessed, sounding hopeful.
Lena nodded and grinned deviously as she dropped to her knees. He gasped at the speed with which she freed him from his pants, and in another instant, she was swallowing him whole.
“Fuck!” he shouted, his eyes glued to her perfect lips.
She teased him with her tongue, starting at the base and dragging it slowly upward until she swirled it around the tip. He groaned as she used one hand to fist him at the base and moved her hand in sync with her mouth. Lena reached for his hand and brought it to rest on her head, encouraging him to thread his fingers through her hair as she pleasured him. Owen hesitated a fraction of a second before he gave in to his animalistic desires, wanting to take his time with her but unable to hold back. He fucked her mouth in quick, short strokes, and Lena felt a trickle of moisture between her thighs. She couldn’t seem to get enough of his dominance, and as far as she was concerned, there was no such thing as ‘too rough’ when it came to sex with Owen.
When he felt his climax approaching, he pulled her head back and bent to seize her lips in a kiss that left her dizzy and dripping with need. He slipped his hands beneath her arms and lifted her easily to her feet, feeling infinitely pleased that she’d chosen to wear a skirt that day. Owen walked her across the room to her kitchen table, spun her away from him and urged her torso downward until she was bent over the polished wood. Lena gasped as she felt him lift her skirt and kneel down to press his face to her core.
“So sweet,” he murmured, jerking her panties aside impatiently and grinning when they ripped. It wasn’t the first pair he’d ruined, and he was absolutely certain it wouldn’t be the last. His tongue plunged between her folds, teasing and tasting until she was whimpering against the table.
“Please,” she moaned.
“Please what, Eleanore?” His mouth captured her clit and rolled it between his teeth, coaxing a shout of pleasure from her.
“Please fuck me,” Lena panted, not caring in the slightest that she was begging. She felt as though she might combust at any moment, and she craved the feel of him inside of her.
Owen grinned and rose to his feet, filling her completely with one stroke. For a brief moment, he stayed still, his head thrown back as he savored the delicious warmth of her, but once he began to move, his lust quickly took over. He gripped a handful of her hair and pounded into her ruthlessly, relishing her grunts and gasps. Lena's arms lay flat at her sides with her hands curled under to clutch the edge of the table, and when her orgasm surged through her body, one of her nails actually broke against the dark wood.
He came only seconds behind her, almost growling as he flooded her with warmth. They panted heavily as the last of the tremors receded, and Owen leaned over her limp body to press his lips to her cheek.
“Well, now I’m really hungry.”
Lena laughed merrily and stood with his help. Once they were both clean and their clothing righted, they dug into the Chinese food Owen had picked up. They talked about their classes and the midterm exams that were approaching, and Lena asked how he’d come to work at Troy’s. As he told her the story, it was clear to Owen that she was genuinely interested. They tended to avoid topics that were overly personal, which had suited him perfectly well in the beginning, but now he found himself actually wanting to share more with her.
Their conversation stretched into the evening and was followed by two more exhaustive rounds in the bedroom. After his fifth and final orgasm, Owen lay next to her in bed, gazing blindly at her ceiling as he tried to slow his racing pulse. When he turned to look at Lena, he was surprised to find that she’d actually fallen asleep. She was still gloriously naked, with her fiery hair billowed around her head, and he rolled onto his side to look at her.
Lena was easily the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen in real life. He felt like he could spend days just staring at her, memorizing every feature and expression. Lying next to her as she slept was a new experience for Owen, but it was one he’d longed for since their first night together. Leaving at the end of each evening had always felt wrong to him, but he was more than a little wary of the idea of actually sleeping next to her. He worried that he might have a nightmare and unintentionally hurt her, or even that he might talk in his sleep and say something she wasn’t ready to hear.
Owen reached down to straighten the blankets and pulled them over her body, tucking her in carefully and smiling when she moaned softly in her sleep. As he watched the steady rise and fall of her chest, something in his mind seemed to click into place, like the final piece of a puzzle that had only needed to be rotated in the right direction.
He wanted more, and he was ready to pursue it.
There was so much about Lena that he wanted to know, so many questions he wanted to ask. He wanted to know what made her happy, what worried her, what motivated her. He wanted to be a part of her life, and he wanted her to be a part of his. Owen knew that he could make room for her if she could do the same for him. They could make it work.
He lay his head down on the pillow next to hers, still gazing at her profile in the soft moonlight that crept between her window blinds, and his mind followed a natural progression to consider the depth of his feelings. Did he love her? ...I just might, he admitted silently. The notion of love had always been foreign to him. It was something that happened to other people but not to him. He was too damaged and undeserving of something so wonderful… But no one had ever made him feel like this.
Owen knew with absolute certainty that he would do anything for her, risk anything to make her happy. If that wasn’t love, then he didn’t know what was. He knew that Lena was afraid to explore anything serious with him, but he had to hope he could show her that her heart was safe with him and that being his girlfriend wouldn’t derail her entire life.
He had no idea how he was going to convince her, but he knew that he couldn’t waste another day being too afraid to try.
Tuesday
Owen woke slowly the next morning, but once his eyes had adjusted to the pre-dawn light, he sat straight up in bed… in Lena's bed. Confusion wrinkled his forehead as he checked the time on her alarm clock. It was just after five, and Lena was still fast asleep. I slept straight through, he realized in amazement. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d slept free of nightmares.
He didn’t waste time trying to remember, however, sliding out of bed as silently as possible. Owen knew that if Lena woke and realized he’d slept over, she would erect more walls between them, and that was something he wanted to avoid at all costs. He dressed quickly and quietly, scribbled a quick note saying that he would see her later that day in class, and let himself out.
When next he saw Lena, she greeted him with an apologetic smile as she settled into her seat in the auditorium. Owen grinned back and took a moment to admire her. She looked as well-rested as he’d felt when he’d woken up next to her that morning, and she’d dressed for cooler weather, opting for a sweater that sat off her shoulders and hung low on her slender body.
“I’m sorry for falling asleep on you last night,” she said quietly as they waited for that day’s guest speaker to begin. “Apparently, I was more tired than I thought.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Owen replied casually, not bothering to correct her assumption that he’d left her apartment the previous night rather than that morning. “Are we still on for lunch?”
“Actually, I need to try to catch my advisor in his office today. I won’t have time after class.”
“Oh.” He thought for a moment, realizing that the brief lunch hour might not have been the enough time for the conversation he wanted to have with her anyway. “There’s something I want to talk to you about… Do you have some time this evening? It won’t take long,” he added quickly.
“Um…” Lena gazed at him speculatively, trying to gau
ge the seriousness of what he might need to tell her based on his expression, but he gave nothing away. “Yeah, I guess so. I have to stop by GC after class to get what I need for that research project, but I’ll be free after that.”
“That’s fine. Thanks.”
“Sure. I’ll call you when I’m on my way home.”
Owen nodded, unable to say anything else since the speaker had begun her lecture. He did his best to focus on her words rather than the discussion he would be having with Lena later that evening, but it was difficult. Already, his mind was busy constructing the things he wanted to say, strategizing the best ways to phrase it all. He tried to predict her responses for every possible scenario, but he knew it was pointless. Lena seemed to have a special talent for surprising him.
Although she was more than a little curious about whatever was on Owen’s mind, Lena didn’t have time to give it much thought as the day progressed. Once her afternoon classes were finished, she headed to the primary GC corporate building, which was located downtown. She’d become a regular fixture there over the past three years, and she threw a friendly wave to the security guards and receptionists on her way up to the Accounting department.
“Hey, Lena,” the supervisor greeted her.
“Hey, Gina,” she smiled politely. “Did my dad send you an email about-”
“Yup! I’ve been expecting you. Research project, right?”
“Yeah. I’m not sure what would be the simplest way to get the information I need, but I was hoping for sample budgets for at least three different companies, preferably over four quarters.”
“That should be easy enough,” Gina assured her. “Mr. Gardner said to just give you full access through your GC account, and Wes in IT changed your permissions so that you can login remotely too. They just wanted you to use a company laptop, which…” she paused reaching behind her to retrieve a black laptop bag from her credenza, “he left here for you. Do you need a refresher on the program?”
“Nah, I think I’m alright. It hasn’t been that long since my last Finance rotation,” Lena replied, taking the laptop from her with a smile.
“Fair enough. I should warn you though… Don’t say anything to Mr. Phelps about all of this. He’s very protective of some of the business accounts. There are a few he oversees personally, and he doesn’t like anyone else accessing them.”
Lena frowned but nodded in acknowledgment. That’s weird, she mused, though I guess he’s not the first boss to micromanage.
“Thanks, Gina. This is such a huge help. Thank Wes for me too.”
“You should thank him yourself,” the older woman grinned. “I’m pretty sure he’d much rather have held onto the laptop so that you had an excuse to pay him a visit. I swear that man gets starry-eyed whenever someone mentions your name.”
Lena blushed a little and rolled her eyes good-naturedly. She was fully aware that Wes had a bit of a crush on her, but she wasn’t interested in him that way. She treated him with the same courteous respect she gave every other GC employee, but he seemed undeterred by her indifference.
“Afraid I don’t have time for that today,” Lena winced jokingly. “Thanks again, Gina. See you later this week maybe.” Gina laughed and waved her off.
Lena decided against interrupting her father’s afternoon schedule just to say hello, and she sent Owen a quick text on her way back down to the ground level. He showed up at her apartment shortly after she did, and she laughed at the fast food bag in his hand.
“You know, if we keep eating like this, we’re going to get fat. Haven’t you ever heard of cooking?”
“Sure, but… Unless it’s microwaveable, I don’t really know how. Unless you like your food burnt and inedible,” he grinned sheepishly.
“Not particularly, no. I can show you how to cook a few easy things if you want. You’re an adult male living alone. You really should know how to feed yourself without resorting to takeout.”
“Well, I can’t promise not to start a fire in your kitchen, but it does sound like fun.”
Owen tried to curb his optimism, but it didn’t escape his notice that she was offering to spend more time with him in a way that didn’t involve sex or studying. It was a small step, but it was progress nonetheless. They sat down at her kitchen table with their dinner, and it took only a few moments for Lena's curiosity to get the better of her.
“So, what is it you wanted to talk about? You sounded… I don’t know... off, I guess. Is something wrong?”
“No,” Owen sighed, searching for the right words. “Look, I’m probably going to screw this up no matter how I say it, so I’m just going to say it.”
“Okay...?”
“I want you to be my girlfriend,” he blurted. Lena's hand froze in the act of bringing her straw to her lips, and her mouth hung open a little. “I love what we have, but I want more. I want to know you better. I want to be the person you come to when you’re sad or lonely or stressed... I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine.”
The silence stretched between them, as Lena digested his words. She was surprised, but she quickly realized that she shouldn’t have been. She’d been afraid that this would happen since the day he’d asked her out, and she wondered now if perhaps it would have been smarter to follow her instincts from the beginning. Although there was much about Owen that she still didn’t know, she could tell that he’d been hurt in the past, and her chest ached at the idea of hurting him now.
“Say something,” he urged, gazing at her nervously. The expression on her face was draining his confidence quickly.
“I… Owen,” Lena began, her tone heavy with regret. “I’m sorry, but I… I can’t. I really like you, and we have a lot of fun together, but…”
“Why? I know you think you don’t have time for a relationship, but it’s got to be more than that.” She winced, and he added, “I at least deserve to know the real reason.”
“That is a real reason.”
“But it’s not the only one,” he countered. When she didn’t contradict him, he continued, “Look, I never thought I was cut out for a relationship either, but I’m willing to try. That’s all I’m asking for. The way I feel about you… It’s too special to ignore. I’m falling in love with you, Eleanore Gardner, and I’d be an idiot not to pursue it.”
“Owen…” she shook her head, her eyes stinging with unshed tears. Please don’t make me hurt you, she begged silently.
“No, I know you feel something for me too. It’s more than just sex for you. I can tell.”
“Regardless of what feelings I might have… It’s just not the right time in my life to be entering a committed relationship.”
“I have a busy schedule too,” he reminded her. “We can work around that. I wouldn’t expect to be your first priority. I understand you’re focused on school, and so am I.”
“But in a relationship, you should be able to expect to be someone’s first priority. Otherwise what’s the point? And I just… I already feel like I’m spread too thin. I’ve got to be the perfect daughter, the perfect student… I just don’t have the energy to be the perfect girlfriend too, no matter how much I might wish otherwise.”
“Lena, no one’s asking you to be perfect, least of all me,” Owen insisted, reaching across the table to take her hands in his. His green eyes were pleading with her, and she couldn’t look away. “I don’t want perfection. I just want you.”
A sob threatened to escape her lips as she thought about what he was asking. If she were being honest with herself, she would have to admit that she’d have liked nothing better than to give him what he wanted, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She couldn’t bring herself to be accountable to yet another person. She had already failed both of her parents, and she wasn’t willing to risk the possibility of letting someone else down.
“I would only disappoint you,” she said softly, shaking her head again. Owen sighed and pulled her up from the table, never releasing her hands as he guided her over to the so
fa.
“But you do want it… right? You want me?”
Lena tried to find the words to deny it, but they seemed to get caught in her throat. The truth was in her expression, however, and Owen felt a tiny flicker of hope. He leaned forward to kiss her, caressing her cheek as he pressed his lips to hers, but after a moment she pulled away.
“I can’t,” she whispered, the first of her tears finally spilling over her lashes. “I don’t want to hurt you or lead you on. I was very clear about that. I warned you that I couldn’t give you more than sex and friendship. I just can’t.”
“I remember,” Owen said softly. “And at the time, that was enough for me.”
“But it’s not anymore?”
“Can you honestly say that it’s enough for you?”
“Yes,” she winced, knowing it was a lie.
In truth, it pained her to consider what he was offering and push it away. It was cruel, really, the way he dangled a chance at happiness in front of her face when she couldn’t possibly allow herself to have it. It was the first thing Lena had wanted in a very long time that would’ve been for herself. Her degree, her academic success, her future career… she wanted those things for Nate. She couldn’t allow herself something as wonderful as what Owen was offering her now. She didn’t deserve it. The small rebellions she allowed herself were nothing compared to this. This would be so much more. And when she screwed it up, as she inevitably would, the pain would be more than she could bear, especially since she wouldn’t be the only one hurt in the process.
“I’m sorry, Owen.” She sniffled, and the anguish in her blue eyes made his throat tighten with emotion. “I just can’t. This… what we’ve been doing… is as much as I can give you. If it’s not enough, then maybe we should just go our separate ways now. I don’t want to hurt you.”
Owen gazed at her in silence for a moment as he considered the situation. Her walls are even higher than mine, he realized, unable to understand the reason. It didn’t make sense that she would deny herself something this amazing. It already was amazing between them, and he knew in his heart that taking the next step would only make things better. It was clearer than ever that Lena held herself to an impossible standard, and Owen wondered if her father was laying on the pressure more than even he realized. There had to be a reason that she worked so hard to please him. All that talk about being the perfect daughter... Does she actually want any of it?
Ember (Constant Flame Duet Book 1) Page 17
