She moved toward him, her white robe visible in the night. He walked forward, much like a bee seeking a flower, bobbing a bit along the way in an unsteady path.
“I was reading.” She glanced up at the window then back at him. “How did you know which bedchamber was mine?”
He didn't care to answer that question as it revealed just how much he paid attention to everything that involved her and had since their younger days.
“I wanted to make certain you arrived home safely.” He could just see her smile in the moonlight.
“I did. Although if I hadn't it would be a little late now to start looking for me, wouldn't it?”
He lifted a shoulder, hoping the casual gesture hid how concerned he’d been. “I couldn't escape Edward any sooner. Nor could I return home until I knew you were well.”
She reached up and smoothed a hand along the lapel of his suit coat. The gentle touch quickened his breath. It seemed the spirits he’d imbibed had somehow stolen his common sense. He had no business reacting to Charlotte’s touch. Yet of their own accord, his fingers reached out to touch her cheek, appreciating her soft skin. The contact anchored him and seemed to settle his whirling thoughts.
“I would hazard a guess that you and Edward had an enjoyable evening,” she whispered. “How many drinks did you have?”
“What makes you think I had any?”
“For one I can smell it, and two, I can see you are a little unsteady on your feet.”
He waved his free hand. “Nonsense. I am quite fit.
“Indeed, you are.”
Warmth filled his entire body at the emphasis she placed on her answer. What did she mean by that exactly? But he didn't dare ask. “You shouldn't be out here alone with me,” he chided.
Her head tilted at his words as if they puzzled her. “Didn’t you summon me? So you could see that no harm had come to me?”
“What if it hadn't been me?” He couldn't help but continue to fret over her safety. What if Palmer had been the one throwing rocks at her window?
“I wouldn't have come out if I hadn't realized it was you. I believe I would know you anywhere.” Her remark heated him further as did the beauty of her face in the moonlight.
A moment such as this might never come along again—one alone with her in the moonlight, and the quiet of the night surrounding them. His gaze dropped to her mouth and the urge to kiss her became overwhelming.
“Charlotte?”
“Yes, James.”
“May I kiss you?”
“I should like that very much,” she whispered.
Despite all the reasons he knew this was a terrible idea, he simply couldn't resist. His will to keep his distance was nowhere to be seen. He reached for her upper arms and drew her forward. Then he took her mouth with his, amazed at how perfect she felt. Her lips were soft and warm, her body pliant.
Charlotte’s hands settled on his chest briefly then moved up to the back of his neck to flutter along his skin. The sensation was glorious and lit the carefully banked fire within him.
He tried to think of her as the young girl he used to know. But the woman in his arms was someone completely different. She was a woman who knew her own mind. She was complicated, intelligent, and cared deeply for others.
Considering how much he'd imbibed, he had no business kissing her now when his defenses were so low. Yet his hands shifted to her slim waist then to the flare of her hips before moving over her curved bottom. He pulled her more tightly against him, wondering if she understood how much he wanted her.
He deepened the kiss despite the voice in his head that demanded he let her go.
Now was not the time or place. Nor did he think that would ever come. She deserved someone who was whole. Not a broken man who had returned from the war less than he had been. One who startled at strange noises, didn’t sleep through the night, and preferred to live as a rogue rather than deal with the demons that threatened to take him under. But he couldn’t force himself to release her.
Charlotte broke the kiss, and its end squeezed his heart.
“James?” she whispered, her arms still twined about his neck.
“Yes?”
“Will you meet me at Hyde Park the day after tomorrow? At seven o’clock again?”
“Yes.” He cursed himself for replying in the affirmative but didn’t take back his answer. At this moment, he was incapable of refusing her anything.
“Perfect. I look forward to it. And I should very much like to kiss you again then.” She pressed her lips to his briefly and drew her warm hand along his cheek before disappearing back through the garden door, leaving him alone once again.
He stood there for a long moment, attempting to gather his reeling thoughts that had little to do with the drinks he’d had.
Chapter Eight
Charlotte patted the sleek neck of her mare as she waited near the entrance of Hyde Park. Fog lingered in the low areas and a chill in the air made her grateful she’d worn one of her warmer riding habits.
Her thoughts had been filled with James since their kiss in the garden the night before last. But as the minutes passed and there was no sign of him, she began to worry if he’d forgotten their plan. Even worse, he might’ve decided not to come. If only he knew how much she appreciated their time together. Then again if he did know...
She halted her swirling thoughts and sighed. Her adventures meant little without him at her side. How that had come to pass so quickly, she didn’t know.
He’d made no secret of his mixed feelings about these adventures. But she truly believed they were as entertaining for him as they were for her. Except the last outing when they’d nearly been caught. If Edward had realized she was standing beside James at Madame Gaston's, he would’ve been livid with both of them. She certainly didn’t want to cause a rift between the two men she cared about.
Her breath caught at the realization. She truly did care for James. He was much different than he’d been before the war. But she admired the serious man he’d become as well. He cared deeply for others and acted with honor. How she wished he didn’t seem so unhappy when he thought no one was watching.
If he joined her this morning, she would ask for a less risky outing. Though she had a few ideas, she hadn’t decided what would fulfill her goal of collecting enjoyable memories but still be tame enough that James would agree.
Her groom, who sat on a horse a few feet away, cleared his throat. No doubt he thought that whoever she was waiting for wasn't coming, and they should proceed with their ride. But Charlotte wasn't ready to give up yet.
If James didn't meet her, she would simply find another way to reach out to him. She need only think of the risk he’d taken, throwing pebbles at her window to make certain she was well, for her heart to squeeze.
She dearly wanted to discover what caused the shadows in his eyes. Though she wasn't certain how much he would tell her, she hoped by asking questions, he would understand how much she cared.
Based on the comments of others, he wasn't the only man who had difficulty adjusting to life after time on the battlefield. Perhaps if she knew more about what he’d experienced or what bothered him the most about his memories, she could somehow help.
She checked her pin watch and realized he was a quarter of an hour late. That wasn't like him. She sincerely hoped this wasn’t the beginning of the end of their association.
With one last glance around, her heart heavy, Charlotte turned her mare toward the park, wanting to give them both a little fresh air and exercise before returning home. She had only walked her horse a short distance when the sound of hooves approaching caught her notice and James rode up alongside her.
“Good morning.” Her heart lifted at the sight of him despite his somber expression. “I’d given up on you.”
He glanced at the groom who followed them before looking back at her. “Despite my firm belief that I shouldn't join you, I decided I owed you an explana
tion at the very least.”
She didn't want to hear whatever he had to say. She already knew the reasons they shouldn't continue with their adventures. If any of her family discovered them, she would be in serious trouble. And there was always the risk of someone outside of the family recognizing them. Yet she couldn't bear to think of stopping. Not when these jaunts had already given her so much joy. Not when her future looked so bleak.
And not when it meant she wouldn’t have more time with James. The worry caught her breath. But she wouldn’t let him see that.
“What if I told you I wanted to go somewhere with less risk?” She glanced at him to see if there was hope of convincing him to reconsider.
He lifted a brow as if in disbelief.
“Our near-miss has made me more cautious. I should like to go somewhere new to both of us.”
A mixture of curiosity and caution filled his expression. “Such as?”
The fact that he’d asked rather than outright refused renewed her hope. “Have you ever visited the conservatory at Balston Park?”
His incredulous and slightly confused expression might have been comical under other circumstances.
Balston Park was home to the Duke and Duchess of Willingham. Upon inheriting the estate located just outside of London, they’d taken the unfashionable home in poor condition and completely redesigned the interior along with the gardens. The conservatory was said to be stunning, made to resemble a forest wonderland.
“Have you already visited?” The thought was disappointing. She dearly wanted them both to experience something new.
“Can’t say that I have.”
“Excellent.” She smiled. “When shall we venture there?”
“Unless you have an invitation, never. To my knowledge, it’s not open to the public.”
“That is a concern, but surely we can find a way around that. They provide tours to a few people.”
“Hmm. Do you happen to know the duke or duchess?”
She wrinkled her nose, not appreciating him pointing out a flaw in her plan. “No, but I refuse to allow that to keep us from viewing it. I shall think upon the problem and gather possible solutions.”
A hint of a smile curled James’ lip. “And I shall look forward to hearing them. I have no doubt they’ll be highly entertaining.”
“Perhaps you could provide a suggestion or two.”
“Considering the fact that I have already fulfilled my promise to escort you to not just one but two places as well as two rides in Hyde Park, I will leave this one in your hands.”
His obvious doubt only made her more determined.
He held up a gloved finger to catch her attention. “I assume I don’t need to clarify that our entry must be of legal means. I refuse to break the law.”
She gave a beleaguered sigh, although the idea of sneaking in had crossed her mind. Did he know her so well?
“Strike anything of that sort from your consideration,” he added with a pointed look.
“Very well.” There had to be a way to garner an invitation to view the conservatory. “A solution will arise.” She nodded with only a small measure of confidence.
“Do let me know when you have discovered it.”
“Excellent. Shall we place a wager?” The amused gleam in James’ eyes was payment enough, for it chased away the shadows. She simply had to find a way to visit the conservatory with him so she might find a way to make him smile once again.
~*~
“Your brother may very well be the most irksome man alive,” Margaret declared as she joined Charlotte along the fringes of the dance floor at the Evanston Ball.
“Has it taken you this long to notice?” Charlotte couldn't help but smile at her friend’s irritation.
Margaret waved a hand in the air, a clear sign of how annoyed she was. “He asked me to dance and of course I said yes. But then he spent the majority of our time looking over his shoulder as if in search of someone else. I finally asked if he wished to stop, and he acted as though I insulted him.” Margaret shook her head. “Men. Is it any wonder I have no wish to marry?”
Charlotte glanced around, hoping no one overheard. Margaret had confided how she couldn’t possibly leave her mother to care for her father on her own a few weeks ago. Charlotte had been shocked, but she understood her reasoning. Margaret’s decision to remain a spinster was all the more admirable given how Charlotte felt about her own father.
She wondered if Margaret found reasons not to like men so her decision to remain unmarried—something that was nearly every lady’s sole purpose—was less difficult. People could often talk themselves in or out of believing anything they wanted to, given the proper motivation.
Charlotte didn’t argue with her friend’s determination to help her mother and understood her reasoning. What husband would want his wife to spend all her time with her father rather than him? Caroline and Annabelle had managed to find a reasonable balance but that was only because Margaret and her mother were home every day.
“I wonder who he looked for.” Charlotte couldn’t imagine it was a lady. Her brother seemed in no hurry to marry. Perhaps he was looking for James just as she was. She also kept watch for Lord Samuelson, hoping not to see him.
Margaret glared at her. “Does that make a difference? Why couldn't he have waited to do so after the dance ended?”
“He should have,” Charlotte agreed hurriedly. “I shall mention it to him at the first opportunity.”
“Please don’t bother.” Margaret tightened her lips. “I doubt he'll ask me again, so it doesn't matter.”
Charlotte knew it did. Margaret enjoyed dancing and since she didn't attend many functions, each dance was special and something to enjoy. “Edward must be out of practice with proper social behavior if he acted that way.” He didn’t attend many balls either though that didn’t excuse rudeness.
Margaret caught her gaze, her expression suggesting she was ready to change the subject. “I would love to know if you have chosen your next adventure.”
“I have, though I'm not yet certain how to accomplish it.”
Margaret's eyes widened. “Do tell. What is it?”
Charlotte glanced about to make sure no one was listening. “I would like to visit the Balston Park Conservatory.”
“I've heard it's amazing.” Margaret’s eyes lit up. “When are you going?”
“Considering that I don't have an invitation nor does Viscount Redmond, I'm not certain if let alone when.” In the two days since her ride in Hyde Park with James, she had yet to discover a way to do so.
“There has to be someone who knows the Duke and Duchess of Willingham well enough to request a private tour on your behalf.” Margaret stared into the distance as if expecting a solution to appear.
“I wouldn't want to bother them, of course, but perhaps the steward or another servant could give us a tour. However, I have no idea how to go about discovering if that’s possible.”
“It must be since so many speak of how wonderful it is.” Margaret narrowed her eyes. “Your father—”
Charlotte raised a brow in disbelief. “Do not bother to finish that sentence.” Not for one moment did she want to involve him in any way.
“Of course.” Margaret nodded. “How silly of me. Let us think about who we know.” Margaret smiled as she gave Charlotte's arm an excited squeeze. “I shall start with Aberland.”
Charlotte gasped. “That is an excellent idea. Do you think he would help us?”
“If he knows the duke well enough, I am certain he would.”
The Earl of Aberland had married Margaret's eldest sister, Caroline, several years ago. He was well connected and well respected among the ton.
“I hate to have you ask a favor on my behalf,” Charlotte said. Though Charlotte wanted to be alone with James, she didn’t want to do so at Margaret’s expense. “Why don’t you accompany us as well if he can garner an invitation?”
“Think nothing of it. My brother-in-law is always willing to help. If he doesn't know the duke, he might know someone who does.”
Hope filled Charlotte for the first time since the idea had come to mind. She couldn't wait to see the look on James’ face if Aberland was able to manage this. This outing might provide the perfect opportunity for her to ask about his experiences in battle. She’d longed to do so during their ride in Hyde Park, but the moment hadn't seemed right.
“Aberland and Caroline are coming by on the morrow. I shall be sure to ask him and keep you apprised.”
Charlotte grinned. “I can't thank you enough, Margaret. James seemed highly doubtful it would be possible. In fact, we have a small wager on the outcome. I look forward to winning it.”
But not as much as she looked forward to spending more time with him. With luck, another kiss might be in her future.
~*~
James couldn't believe his eyes as he looked outside his carriage window. The Duke and Duchess of Willingham’s estate was even more impressive than he’d expected.
“Isn't it beautiful?” Charlotte asked.
He turned to look at her where she sat on the opposite bench along with her maid, both staring out the window with awe. Charlotte was the one who was beautiful, but he refrained from saying so.
“I still can't believe you managed to garner an invitation for us.” James shook his head.
“We have Margaret to thank. Her brother-in-law, the Earl of Aberland, is on good terms with the duke, who said he’d be pleased to allow us to look inside. His steward is to provide us a tour.”
“I just hope none of those involved in the planning of this feel the need to discuss it with others.” He didn’t care for the idea of Edward or Lord Wynn discovering what he and Charlotte were doing.
“According to what Aberland told Margaret, the duke and duchess receive many requests for visitors to tour the conservatory, so it isn’t unusual. Hopefully, that means it would be unlikely for the subject to arise.”
To Dare a Rogue Page 9
