by Debra Webb
“No.” She shook her head. “Not like that. Baaaby. With the emphasis on the first syllable.”
“Baaaby,” he echoed, drawing out the first syllable as if it were two.
She nodded once. “Yes. Like that.”
He propped against the dresser and let her talk. She seemed to know what he needed to ask and he appreciated that more than she could possibly comprehend. She shared the sexual vocabulary Maddox used. His euphemisms for body parts and the words that he whispered in her ear as they made love. With every word, every nuance of her voice he felt closer to her…felt the need to touch her. Tension vibrated through him to the point that every nerve ending felt taut with anticipation of what she would say next.
“He liked for me to be on top,” she said, careful to avert her eyes. “When I wasn’t on top he was usually…” She cleared her throat. “He liked to get behind me.” She fisted her fingers and hugged her arms around her middle. “He was very aggressive. Preferred to be in control other than the being on top thing.”
Joe wanted to make her stop, but he couldn’t. And yet with each new detail she revealed, his body grew harder, he wanted her more.
“Was there a certain…way he touched you?” he ventured, his throat so tight he barely managed to speak.
She blinked, looked away again. “My…ah…breasts. He always touched me that way a lot. Even when we were just kissing.” She rubbed at her forehead, then quickly clasped her arm back around her.
He couldn’t take any more of this. He’d hurt her and tortured himself physically. No more.
“Thank you for sharing such intimate—”
“Don’t you want to know how he kissed me?” She glared up at him then, the breath rushing in and out of her lungs. All semblance of calm or submissiveness were gone.
Joe straightened away from the dresser. “We can talk about this some more later. There’s—”
She rocketed to her feet. “He wasn’t that great when it came to kissing.”
Her eyes looked huge in her pale face. He couldn’t tell if what he saw there was fear or humiliation. Maybe both, and it tore at his guts.
“He used his tongue too much.” She paced the length of the room, then turned and moved back in his direction. “But I got used to it eventually.” She shrugged her shoulders, the movement stilted. “I was so busy with my work I didn’t have time to be too picky about my sex life. Really, what’s a busy woman like me supposed to do?”
Her lips trembled with the last and he had to touch her. She was close enough.
“Elizabeth, I’m sorry. I—”
She drew her shoulder away from his seeking hand but didn’t back off. “Are you really?” The accusation in her eyes dealt him another gut-wrenching blow. She took a step closer. “If you’re so sorry then what prompted your considerable erection, Agent Hennessey?” She reached out and smoothed a hand over the front of his jeans, molded her palm to his aching hard-on.
He moved her hand away but didn’t let go of her arm. “Don’t do this to yourself, Elizabeth. I explained to you that the female contact was someone he knew before you came into his life.”
“And I know a lie when I hear one, Joe.”
He closed his eyes and exhaled a weary breath. Maybe he should have been up-front with her sooner. He should never have listened to Director Allen. Elizabeth Cameron was far too smart for these kinds of tactics.
“I had known something was wrong for a while,” she said, her voice soft, the fierce attitude having surrendered to the hurt. “We hadn’t made love in two months when he died. I’d only seen him two or three times. He called, but never talked for long. I guess I knew it was over. I just didn’t know why.”
It took every ounce of strength Joe possessed not to tell her the truth about David Maddox. He’d used her. He’d cheated on her all along. The latter came with the territory. No man who hoped to keep a clean relationship with a woman stayed in field operations. It simply wasn’t feasible.
“You don’t know that,” he argued, hoping to salvage her feelings to whatever extent possible. “There could have been a lot of things going on that prevented him from coming to you. Your safety for one thing,” he offered, grasping at straws. “Remember he sent me in to rescue you that one night when he was too far away to do it himself.”
She nodded distractedly as if her heart was working overtime to justify what her brain wanted to reject.
“I would certainly have taken precautions to protect you if I had been in his shoes. Think about it, Doc. He cared about you. You were and still are a valuable asset to the Agency.”
Her eyes met his then and something passed between them, a sense of understanding.
“I’m certain you would have, Hennessey.” She inhaled a big breath and then let it out slowly. “But you see I’ve been lying to myself for a while now.” She offered a halfhearted shrug. “I guess it made me feel less gullible.”
Joe tightened his hold on her forearm, but carefully avoided pulling her closer as he would very much have liked to do. “Sometimes we believe what we want to believe, Doc, even when we know better.”
She searched his eyes for so long, he shifted in hopes of breaking the contact. Didn’t work.
“Are you really any different from him, Agent Hennessey?”
He wasn’t sure how to answer the question.
“I mean,” she frowned in concentration, “if having sex with a contact would garner you the information you needed, would you go that far?”
When she put it that way, it sounded like the worst kind of sin. “I wish I could say no, but I’d be lying.”
An “I see” look claimed her expression. “Well, at least you’re honest.”
“I won’t lie,” he told her in hopes of making the point crystal clear, “unless there is no other way, Doc. Lying is not something I enjoy, but it’s part of my job more often than not.”
She stared up at him then, puzzled. “Did you know I would give you the information you needed without your having to seduce me?”
“Doc, this situation isn’t the same. You came into this knowing the mission.”
Her gaze narrowed ever so slightly. “Did I really?”
He had to smile. “To the extent you needed to know, yes.”
“But you didn’t answer my question,” she countered, refusing to give an inch. “Would you have resorted to seducing me if necessary?”
“I had my orders, Doc, and seducing you wasn’t included.” When she would have turned to leave, he caught her wrist once more and drew her back. “Had I not been restrained by my orders, I can’t say I wouldn’t have tried. But the effort wouldn’t have been about the mission.”
She searched his eyes again…as if looking for answers to questions she couldn’t voice. He wanted to lean down and brush his lips across hers. Just for a second, just long enough to feel the softness of hers.
But she walked away before he’d mentally beaten back his deeply ingrained sense of duty and did just that. He closed his eyes and cursed himself for the fool he was. He should have kissed her, should have shown her what a real kiss was like. Not some egotistical bastard’s sloppy attempts.
He’d had that moment and he’d let it slip away. Part of him had felt certain for just a fleeting instant that she wanted him to kiss her.
“Oh.”
He looked up, discovered her waiting at the door as if she’d only just remembered something of utmost importance and had decided to tell him before she forgot.
“I suppose I should tell you that you might have a bit of a problem with the female contact.”
Confusion joined the other tangle of thoughts in his head. “What kind of problem?”
“I believe I would avoid making love to her if at all possible, otherwise I’m certain she will recognize you as an imposter.”
His delayed defensive mechanism slammed into place. What the hell was she trying to say? “You noticed a difference between Maddox and me?” he challenged. He knew where this was headed. She’d gotten
a good feel of him fully aroused. He wondered if she would actually have the guts to cut him off at the knees, which was, in her opinion, what he imagined he deserved.
She nodded somberly. “I’m afraid so, Agent Hennessey. David was considerably—”
He held up both hands, cutting her off. “I don’t think I want to hear this.” And here he’d been feeling sorry as hell for her.
“I was just going to say,” she went on as she planted one hand firmly on her hip, “that David was way, way smaller than you and I doubt any woman still breathing would fail to notice.”
Chapter Eight
Elizabeth lay in bed that night and considered what Hennessey had told her. Her initial response had been to deny all of it. But she had known he was telling the truth. If she’d had the first reservation, his genuine regret would have allayed any and all.
Joe hadn’t lied to her. He’d tried to protect her.
She closed her eyes and remembered the way he’d looked at her as she’d given him the details of her intimacies with David. That the connection had made her restless to the point of becoming moist in places she’d thought on permanent vacation startled her. Just watching him react to her words had set her on the verge of sexual release.
No man had ever managed that…not for her.
All this time she’d considered herself somewhat lacking in the libido department, but Hennessey made her feel alive and on fire. How could that be?
From a purely psychological standpoint she understood that she had been celibate for longer than usual and she was still hurting from those final months before David had died. She’d known something wasn’t right. Now she knew what.
There had been another woman.
Maybe his involvement with her had been purely business, but that didn’t make her feel any better. Then again, Hennessey could be correct in his suggestion that David had been trying to protect her. But that would be giving him far too much of a benefit of the doubt. Even she wasn’t that gullible.
She and David had been over at least two months before his death.
So why had he kept coming back? Why those final calls? Why hadn’t he just told her it was over? It wasn’t like he had made any sort of major commitment.
Like any other woman, she had considered he might be the one. That the two of them could perhaps move to the next stage. Get married and start a family. But deep down, especially those last few months, she had known it was going to end.
She banged her fist against the mattress. Why on God’s green earth would she get involved with another man like David Maddox?
Evidently she was just as gullible as she’d thought. And seriously out of touch with her education level.
For goodness sakes, plain old common sense screamed at the utter stupidity of this move.
And still she couldn’t help how she felt.
Yes, Hennessey was CIA just like David had been.
Yes, he was handsome and charming and sexy.
Just like David.
But there was one significant difference.
She thought of the way she’d touched him. Couldn’t imagine how she’d ever worked up the nerve to make that bold move. She hadn’t actually. She’d acted on instinct. Without thought.
Her heart bumped into a faster rhythm even now at the memory. There was no comparison between the two when it came to matters below the belt. Joe Hennessey was far more well endowed than David. No way would a former lover not notice that disparity.
Elizabeth flopped onto her side and pushed away the confusing thoughts. She refused to get involved with another man until she knew all the facts related to her last relationship.
Was it possible that David had used her for more than mere sex?
She chewed her bottom lip and let the concept penetrate fully. Didn’t banish it immediately as she did when she was first asked to be a part of this. David knew the identities of the agents she’d transformed the same as she did. At least he had until the last year. They hadn’t discussed the last three she’d done because there had been no reason. He was no longer her handler and like any good member of CIA personnel, she hadn’t told.
Nor had he asked.
If he’d wanted to know, why didn’t he bring up the subject? Never, not once did he ever, ever ask any questions. He hadn’t even appeared interested.
But was that a front to keep her fooled?
She sat up, slung off the covers.
The conspiracy theories were rampant now.
She’d never get any sleep at this rate.
Could he, if he were guilty of this heinous betrayal, have listened in on her conversations with Agent Dawson?
Impossible. Dawson always picked her up and took her to a secure location before giving her any details.
They never talked in her car, on her phone, landline or cell, or at her house.
It simply wasn’t done.
And David would have known those hard and fast rules far better than her.
A cold, rigid knot of panic fisted in her stomach.
He would also know how to bug her clothing, her purse, her body for that matter, in such a way that no one could tell.
“Oh, God.”
Wait. Maybe she’d seen one too many spy movies.
The whole idea was ridiculous.
But people were dead…more might die.
She had to know for sure.
The only way to do that was to go home and look for herself. She would never voice those thoughts about David without some sort of confirmation. It just wouldn’t be fair. She had loved him. She couldn’t betray him like that simply because Joe Hennessey planted the seed in her mind.
Yes, things had been wrong somehow between her and David those last few months but did that mean he had done anything wrong? She didn’t know. One thing was certain, Hennessey had said there were only a handful of people who knew the names of those agents who were being picked off one by one.
David Maddox had been one of them.
Not giving herself time to change her mind, she slipped on her clothes and shoes, grabbed her purse and headed for her door.
Holding her breath she opened it.
The hall was clear.
After taking a moment to gather her courage she eased out into the hall and moved soundlessly to the stairs.
Ten seconds later she was in the laundry room at the rear exit.
Now for the real test.
The house was watched twenty-four/seven.
There was really no way to leave without being caught.
That left only one option.
She dug her cell phone from her purse and called the one person she knew without doubt she could trust.
“HENNESSEY WON’T be happy about this.” Her driver wagged his head side to side resignedly.
“Just get me into my house, Agent Dawson,” she urged. “If anyone learns we sneaked out I’ll take full responsibility.”
Dawson exhaled loudly. “I don’t think that’ll keep me out of trouble, Dr. Cameron, and it definitely isn’t necessary. When it comes to your safety I’m the one who is responsible.”
“I’m sorry, Agent Dawson,” she relented. He was right. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t want to get you into any trouble.”
He didn’t slow to turn around. He just kept driving through the darkness toward Georgetown proper and her brownstone.
“It’s all right, Dr. Cameron.” He glanced at her, let her see his determination in the dim glow from the dash lights. “If it means this much to you, then I’m more than willing to take the risk.”
Why were all the good ones taken?
Elizabeth sank back into her seat.
Just her luck.
The image of Joe Hennessey zoomed through her thoughts and she immediately exorcised him. Whether or not he was one of the good guys was yet to be seen. Just because he made her pulse leap and her heart stumble didn’t mean he was right for her. All it meant was that she needed to recoup some semblance of a
healthy sex life. As Hennessey would no doubt say, she needed to get laid. Come to think of it, he would probably be happy to oblige her if she were to suddenly turn stupid again.
And she had zero intention of doing that.
As they neared Elizabeth’s home, Agent Dawson said, “We’ll park on the street behind your house and enter from the rear if that’ll work for you.”
She nodded, then remembered he probably wasn’t looking at her. “That’ll definitely work.”
“Once we get out,” he went on, “we need to move quickly.”
“I understand.” Her heart started to beat a little faster at the idea that she might very well be in danger. She’d told herself that being exiled to the safe house was about protecting Hennessey’s transformation, but maybe that wasn’t all there was to it.
She shivered. Maybe that’s what Dawson was worried about more so than getting into trouble.
Surely he would tell her if that was the case.
Something else she didn’t need to worry about.
The street was still and dark save for a few street-lamps posted too far apart. Agent Dawson parked his sedan behind another lining the sidewalk and they got out.
“Stay behind me,” he instructed.
Elizabeth did as he asked, following right behind him as they moved through the side yard of the house directly behind hers. On this street the homes were small, single bungalows with postage-stamp-sized yards. A tall wooden fence lined the rear boundaries, separating these private yards from the shared space behind the brownstones. She and Agent Dawson stayed outside the fenced area, wading through the damp grass.
Her home, like the ones on either side of it, was dark, but the area around the back door was lit well enough by moonlight that she could unlock the door without the aid of a flashlight.
“Let me check it out first.”
She stood just inside her kitchen while he checked out the rest of the house. When he’d returned and given her the go-ahead she took his flashlight, his assertion not to turn on any lights in the house unless absolutely necessary ringing in her ears, and went straight to her room while he guarded the rear entrance.
Though she and Agent Dawson had taken a number of journeys together in the past year, this was her first ever covert adventure with the man. She was quite impressed with his stealth and finesse.
