by Debra Webb
Whoever had sanctioned Maddox’s termination was powerful enough that his reputation alone had ensured the shooter wouldn’t turn on him.
The remaining questions were about Maddox’s associates. Who had wanted the list of agents with new faces? Even if Joe infiltrated the group, could he be sure they would talk? Not even the CIA could stop a nameless entity. A name, a face, they needed anything to go on.
Before more bodies piled up.
“I’M SORRY, Agent Dawson,” Elizabeth said finally. “That’s everything I remember. If there was anything else during that time frame I can’t recall.”
“That’s all right, Dr. Cameron.” He closed the document on the computer. “What you remembered will be useful.” He stood then. “We should probably get back.”
Elizabeth followed him from the borrowed office in the rear of the downtown library. She wasn’t sure why he had insisted they review all the newspaper reports from the three months prior to David’s death. Maybe to prod her memories. She hadn’t remembered anything she hadn’t told them already. But she hadn’t minded taking another shot at it. She was only human. It was just as likely as not that she could have forgotten something relevant.
But she hadn’t.
If she were honest with herself she would admit that getting away from the safe house for a few hours was a good thing. Other than her one excursion back to her brownstone she hadn’t left in three weeks. She was thankful for the respite.
The other night when she’d had to face the reality of what she’d denied about David for months she’d almost asked Hennessey to sleep with her. She’d so desperately needed someone to cling to, she’d resisted that crushing need by the slimmest of margins. Thank God he’d had his head about him. All he would have had to have done was touch her, in the most innocent fashion, and she would have surrendered without a fight.
For the past three days she had felt pretty much numb. Empty, really. Everything she’d thought to be true about David was nothing but lies. Learning that truth had hurt, but not so much as it would have had she not suspected that there was someone else months before his death.
But just beneath the numbness she had felt these last few days lay something else that simmered steadily. She told herself it was nothing, but that was a lie. She’d been attracted to Hennessey since that first night three months ago when he’d shown up to play bodyguard. That attraction hadn’t abated. Not in the least. But with David’s death and the idea that agents she had given new faces were dying, she hadn’t been able to think about that for any length of time. Even now, maybe it was the exhaustion or just the plain old emptiness still hanging on, her developing feelings for Hennessey were too far from the surface to analyze with any accuracy.
And why in the world would she even want to go there?
Hennessey was the farthest thing from what she needed as a man could get. He represented everything wrong she’d done in her last relationship.
Why couldn’t the irrational part of her that wanted to reach out to him see that?
He was one of those dangerous types. A man who risked everything, every single day of his life. She couldn’t count on him any more than she had been able to count on David, excluding his various and sundry betrayals.
What she needed was safe, quiet, bookish.
A man who spent his days behind a desk reviewing accounts or reports. Not some gun-toting, cocky hotshot who kicked ass at least twice before lunch most days.
She closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind as Dawson took the necessary clandestine route back to the safe house. Thank God no more agents had died.
And although she hadn’t seen Hennessey this morning she knew the time was close at hand for his departure. The swelling and redness had been all but gone yesterday. She’d struggled with focusing on the work rather than the end result.
It was far less painful to look at each feature individually rather than to look at his face as a whole. But the one saving grace was his eyes.
Joe Hennessey had the most amazing blue eyes. Even with his face changed, those startling blue eyes made it virtually impossible to notice anything else.
His flirtatious personality emanated from those eyes.
The deep brown of David’s still haunted her dreams occasionally, but lately the only man she’d been dreaming about was Hennessey.
Such an enormous mistake.
Why couldn’t she get that through her head?
She saw it coming. If she could just hold out a little while longer.
Three more days and she would go back to her life. He would go wherever it was David’s associates were suspected of being and most likely they would never again see each other. The end.
She squeezed back the emotion that attempted to rise behind her eyelids. She’d done her job, had prepared Hennessey for the operation. There was nothing else she could do. Nothing else she should do until this was over. Then she would reverse the procedure, assuming he survived.
Getting on with her life was next on her list. She could not wallow in the past or pine after a man who would do nothing but bring her more heartache.
She had to be smart. Making the right decisions about her future had to be next on her agenda. Her career was everything she’d hoped it would be. Now if she could only say the same about her private life.
There was only one way to make that happen.
Put David Maddox and anything affiliated with him out of her head. Move forward and never look back.
It was simple.
But before she could do that she had to be sure she had passed along every tidbit Joe Hennessey would need to survive the coming mission. Even though she fully understood that a relationship between them would be a mistake, she didn’t want him hurt. Whatever she could do to facilitate his efforts was not only necessary but nonnegotiable.
By the time she and Dawson had reached the safe house it had started to rain and a cloak of depression had descended upon her despite her internal pep talk. The sky had darkened, much like her mood.
When the garage door had closed, ensuring no one who might be watching had seen her emerge from the vehicle, she got out and went inside. She shook off the nagging weight that wanted to drag her into a pit of regret and dread. This wasn’t the end, she assured herself, this was a new beginning.
Hennessey would move on with what he did best and she would refocus some of her energy into her personal life. She’d neglected that area for far too long.
Life was too short to spend so much time worrying about all the things she’d done wrong. All the mistakes she’d made. She had to look ahead, move forward.
How many times did she give her patients that very advice? All the time. The kind of devastation that wrought physical deformities more often than not was accompanied by chronic clinical depression. At times, even after full recovery, a patient would linger in the throes of depression’s sadistic clutches. Patients had to make a firm choice, to wallow in the past or move into the future.
She had to do the same.
No more dwelling on yesterday. Time to move forward.
Elizabeth hesitated at the door, pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and took a long, deep breath.
“Your future begins now,” she whispered.
Without looking back, Elizabeth pushed through the door and into the laundry room of the safe house.
The smell of Chinese cuisine alerted her to the time. Lunch. Stark must be on duty. Whenever he was the agent in charge of bringing in meals, his food of choice was Chinese. Not that she minded, she liked fried rice, a lot.
Agent Stark looked up as she entered the kitchen section of the large living space. “You’re just in time, Dr. Cameron.”
She inhaled deeply. “I noticed.”
“I see you made it back, Doc.”
Elizabeth looked up at the sound of Hennessey’s voice. Her chest seized and her eyes widened in disbelief. She closed her eyes and reopened them in an effort to clear her vision. It was still hi
m…David.
“I started wearing the contacts,” he said as he tapped his right temple. “The change in eye color definitely put the finishing touch on the look.”
He said the words so nonchalantly. She blinked again, told herself to breathe. She couldn’t. Managing a nod was the best she could do.
Hennessey gestured to the counter. “You hungry?”
He moved like Hennessey. He spoke like Hennessey. But no matter that she told herself that what she saw was an illusion she, herself, helped to create, she just couldn’t get past it. Pain twisted in her chest, radiated outward, encompassing her entire being.
“I’ll…” She swallowed against the lump in her throat. “I’ll have something later.”
She rushed past him, couldn’t bear to look a moment longer. This felt so wrong…so damned wrong.
Taking the stairs as fast as she dared she made it to her room in record time. She closed the door and slumped against it.
A full minute was required for her to catch her breath, to slow her heart rate. To form a coherent thought.
She should have been prepared for this moment. David’s face had emerged a little more each day. She’d watched the features move from discolored and distorted to smooth and glowing with the tint of health.
All those things she’d expected…she’d been prepared for. But this…
It was the eyes she hadn’t been fully equipped to see…to look into.
David’s eyes.
As dark as a moonless night.
She’d gotten lost in them so many times. Not once had she been able to read his intentions. Whether it was the deep, murky color or just his skill at evasive tactics she couldn’t be sure. But the mystery had been part of the attraction. He’d drawn her in so easily.
How in the wide world could she have believed she could do this?
Elizabeth closed her eyes and blocked the tears; forced away the images.
She couldn’t do this.
And why should she?
She’d done her part.
There was no reason for her to stay a minute longer.
A light rap on the door behind her made her breath hitch again. She pressed a hand to her chest and reached for some semblance of calm.
She had to get her composure back into place.
All she needed to do was tell Agent Dawson she was ready to go home. Her work here was finished.
No one could argue that infinitely valid point.
Steeling herself against the turmoil of emotions attempting to erupt inside her she straightened away from the door, then turned to answer it.
It would be Hennessey.
It would be tough.
But she was strong.
She smoothed her damp palms over her skirt and pulled in another much needed breath.
Then she opened the door.
David’s eyes stared down at her.
Not David, she reminded herself.
Hennessey. Agent Joe Hennessey.
“We should talk about this.”
She looked away, let his voice be her buoy. Hennessey’s voice. Low, husky, shimmering with mischief just beneath the surface. Not the slow, deep cadence of David. Why was it she’d never realized how very, nearly calculating his voice had been? It wasn’t until she’d come here with Hennessey that she’d understood what sexy really was.
David hadn’t been sexy…he’d been bawdy.
Elizabeth squared her shoulders and did what she should have done days ago. “Agent Hennessey, clearly I’ve contributed all to this operation that I have to offer. I’m certain you won’t be needing my services any longer. With that in mind, I’m sure you’d understand if I chose not to have this discussion.” She braced to close the door. “Please let Agent Dawson know I’ll be ready to go in ten minutes.”
She had expected him to argue.
She’d even expected him to try to stop her.
But the last thing she’d expected was for him to kiss her.
He took her face in both his hands and pulled her mouth up to meet his.
Just like that.
His lips felt firm but somehow more yielding than she had expected. His mouth was hot…ravenous, as if he was starving and she was dessert. She melted against him, couldn’t help herself. The sweet feel of her body conforming to his made her shiver with a need so urgent she moaned with the intensity of it.
Sensations cascaded down from her face, following the path of his hands as he stroked her cheeks with his long fingers then slipped lower to caress her throat.
Her heart beat so hard she couldn’t breathe…couldn’t think. She just kept kissing him back—kept clinging to his strong body, hoping the moment would never end.
“Elizabeth,” he murmured against her lips. “I’m sorry. I…” He kissed her harder….
She tried to pull away…tried to push against his chest. But she couldn’t bear the thought of taking her hands away from his chest. Even through the cotton shirt she reveled in the feel of the contours of his chest. She suddenly wanted to touch all of him. To see if the rest of his body was as amazing as his chest and the other part she’d already examined.
His arms went around her and for the first time in months she felt safe in a way that had absolutely nothing to do with professional success or inner strength. She wanted this as a woman…and she didn’t want it to end.
But it had to end.
She couldn’t do this again.
Her hands flattened against his chest and she pushed away from him, not taking her lips from his until it was impossible to reach him anymore.
He opened his eyes and her heart lurched.
“I have to leave now.”
She stumbled back from his reach.
“Elizabeth, I can take out the contacts. We can talk.”
She closed her eyes, tried to block the visual stimuli. Told herself to listen to his voice. Joe Hennessey…not David. Not David.
“Please.” She forced her eyes open again. “I need to go now. There’s nothing more I can do.”
He looked away, displaying the profile she’d created. David’s profile. The slightly longer and broader nose, the more prominent chin.
She swallowed. Looked away.
“This isn’t who I am.” He gestured to the face she had sculpted. “You know who I am.”
She did. That was true. He was Agent Joe Hennessey of the CIA. A dangerous man…her gaze shifted back to his…with an even more dangerous face.
“I do know who you are.” The words were strong but she felt cold and hollow. “And I can’t do this with a man like you. Not again. The price is too high.”
She turned her back to him in the nick of time. She couldn’t let him see the foolish tears.
“I’ll let Agent Dawson know you’re ready to leave.”
She heard him walk away.
Finished.
This was finished. No reason for her to stay…to put herself through this.
All she had to do was go home and forget this assignment…forget the man.
Chapter Ten
Elizabeth reviewed the day’s messages, her mind on autopilot. That was the way it had been for most of the day. The only time she’d been able to really think clearly and in the moment was when she’d been with a patient. Thankfully three patients who’d been on standby awaiting appointments had been available to fill her day. So far four work-ins were scheduled for tomorrow and then she’d be back on her regular schedule.
Back to her real life.
Her concentration, such as it was, shattered yet again. Elizabeth tossed the messages onto her desk and leaned back in her chair.
This was her life.
Slowly, her heart sinking just a little more, she surveyed her chic office. Clean lines, no clutter. Diplomas and other accolades matted and framed in exquisite detail draped the smooth linen-colored walls. Short pile carpet in the same pale color padded the floor and served as a backdrop to the sleek wood furnishings. The rest of the clinic’s decor was every b
it as elegant; the treatment rooms equipped with the same spare-no-expense attitude.
The practice shared by herself and two other specialized physicians dominated the east corner of an upscale Georgetown address. Clientele included patients from all over the country as well as a few from abroad. Business boomed to the point that expansion would surely soon be necessary.
All those years of hard work had paid off for Elizabeth in a big way. Professionally she had everything she desired. Everything she’d dreamed about.
But that was where the dream ended.
She’d deluded herself into believing there could be more. That she could throw herself back into a social life. The chances of that doomed plan seeing fruition were about nil—she recognized that now. The cruise had been a last-ditch effort on her part to wake up her sleeping sex life. Not that she’d had any sort of exciting social life in the past. Admittedly she hadn’t. But even dating hadn’t crossed her mind since David’s death. Absolutely nothing had made her want to venture back into the world of the living and the loving.
Until Joe Hennessey popped back in.
All those forbidden feelings Hennessey had aroused three months ago had suddenly reawakened when he waltzed back into her small world with this assignment.
Elizabeth closed her eyes and let the volatile mixture of heat and desire spread through her. He made her want to embark onto that emotional limb of love again. How could she be so dumb when all those diplomas hanging on the walls proclaimed her intelligence?
A light tap on her closed door dragged her away from the disturbing thoughts and back to the harsh reality that she was once more at square one, alone in her office at the end of the day with no place to go and no one with whom to share her successes or her failures.
She forced her eyes open. “Yes.”
The door cracked far enough for Dr. Newman, one of her partners, to poke his head into her office. “You busy?”
Elizabeth tacked a smile into place. “Not at all. Come in, Dr. Newman.” As long as she’d known Robert Newman—they’d worked closely for four years—they had never moved beyond the professional formalities. She suddenly wondered why that was. He was a very nice man. Safe, quiet, bookish, all the traits she should look for in a companion. That she admired and respected him was icing on the cake. Just another prime example of her inability to form proper social relationships.
