“Pax isn’t a guy you have fun with, so—”
“I love him, so shut up and tell me where he’s gone.”
He stared at her a moment, mouth hanging open, eyes squinting, brow furrowed.
She didn’t care who Paxton had been, what his dad made him do, or what he’d had to do in the Marines. What she cared about was the sweet, sexy man who’d utterly surprised her. She didn’t know when or why or how it had happened, but he was her person. And it was time she was there for him.
FRIDAY. MLILO ANIMAL Reserve, South Africa.
Paxton should have already been gone, but he couldn’t exactly show up at the airport covered in blood and expect to be allowed to board a plane. No matter how much his mind screamed at him to go, to get out of there before Coco returned, he couldn’t just leave his things there.
She wasn’t going to understand any of this. Part of his head screamed at him to stop, slow down, think it all through. But his gut knew better. What he’d done today had been easy, except for the part where he feared Coco might have been injured or dead.
Coco was fine. She was alive. The cops and Silas would watch out for her.
Paxton, on the other hand, needed to go home.
The guys would be here for another week. He’d have the house to himself for seven whole days. He couldn’t remember the last time he spent that much time alone. It would be good for him.
So why was he moving so slowly? And where the hell were the rest of his dirty clothes?
Something jostled the front door.
He froze, listening for the slightest movement.
There wasn’t a creak. Someone had greased the hinges too well for that, but he could feel the pressure change, the ambient sounds of the South African wildlife and the smell of old blood.
Paxton stared at the windows. He couldn’t even make himself turn around.
What was Coco doing here? Where was Silas?
Paxton couldn’t be around people right now. He just couldn’t. But neither could he force himself to run from Coco again.
She stepped past him and set her phone down on the night stand.
Physically he knew she was okay. He’d checked himself. The bruises on her face and wrists had pissed him off, but until Ebrahim was caught, there was nothing else to be done about it. Paxton knew it was the stuff in her head that would take the longest to figure out. He didn’t know how to help her heal.
Coco stood next to him facing the bed for a moment. It was still neatly made, just as she’d left it when they’d gotten up. The only difference was his suitcase lying open.
She reached past him and slid the big case toward her then flipped the lid shut. She tugged the zipper around, securing it just enough it wouldn’t spill open, then slid the wheels off the bed and to the floor.
The sound of the rollers coasting across the tile was far too loud in this little bedroom. He clenched his hands into fists and focused on his breathing, keeping it even, not snatching her up to hold her.
Small, firm hands pressed against his bicep and chest. He didn’t know how to resist her, so he gave in, turning as she directed until he faced her.
Her face was freshly washed and her hair was covered in another one of those wrap things she’d worn to bed a few times. He liked how it sat on her head, like a crown, giving her a regal, queen-like look. She wasn’t wearing the same shorts and T-shirt as she had when he’d left her either. Someone had gotten her new clothes.
Coco planted her hands on his chest and pushed. Not hard, but it was firm.
He sat down on the mattress, wishing she’d say something, but afraid to break the silence.
What if she’d seen too much of him? What if she was finally realizing what he was? What if she didn’t like it?
He hadn’t begun to tell her everything.
Coco crawled up onto the bed next to him then slid her arms around his waist, squeezing him tight.
The tightness in his chest expanded until it was all he could do to breathe.
He turned his head and bent his neck until he could rest his chin and lips on the turban-crown. It smelled just enough like her that it helped.
She took his right hand in hers and brought it to her waist, then his left before going back to hugging him.
The last bit of coldness lodged in his chest began to melt.
How could he resist her warmth?
He swallowed down the lump of fear in his throat. She could have died tonight, but she hadn’t. She was safe. And she was here.
Paxton tightened his hold around her and turned, dragging her farther up onto the bed with him as he stretched out. She chuckled and there was some arranging of limbs as they figured out how to lie face to face, arms and legs entwined. Her nose bumped his. This close, she nearly filled his vision, blocking everything else out with her smile, her big heart, that beautiful face.
She had no idea what she did to him. How important she’d become to him.
He was terrified he’d fuck it up, that he had already by showing her what he could be.
“Talk to me,” she whispered.
What did he say?
“Your brothers, they okay?” That was a safe topic.
“Yes.” She lifted her hand to his face, running her fingers over his cheek. “I don’t want to talk about them. I want to know how you’re doing.”
“I’m fine.”
“Then why are you trying to leave me?”
He opened his mouth, but couldn’t make himself give her an answer.
Coco had come to him when she should worry about herself. She was the one who’d gone through something terrifying today. Not him. Because at her heart she was a healer and at his core he was a broken man.
“It’s time I went home.” It was a lame answer, but the shortest.
“Is that what you want to do?”
Paxton couldn’t answer that, because he was exactly where he wanted to be right now.
“I don’t want you to leave,” she whispered as her fingers drew circles on his face.
“You don’t really know me, Coco.” And how would she unless he told her the unvarnished truth?
She slid her hand down his chest, just over his heart. “Maybe not, but I want to.”
“You say that, but you don’t really.”
She smirked. “I think I know my own mind.”
But she didn’t know him.
He steeled himself and dove in. “Then you want to hear about the five guys my dad killed in front of me when I was six? He was able to tell the cops the guys were trying to rob the bar, but they weren’t. That was the first time I saw someone killed.”
Her brow creased and he could practically hear her platitude.
He’d been a kid.
How horrible.
The same shit he’d heard before.
“When I was fifteen my dad made me hold a gun to a man’s head. Told me to do it or he’d cut Mom’s throat.” That was the day Paxton had learned the price of love. He’d been willing to take another man’s life because of how much he loved his mother.
It was also the day he’d realized he couldn’t stay there, that living with his parents would destroy him. He hadn’t left immediately, but that was the day he saw what he had to do.
Paxton’s mouth kept going. If he was going to let it out, might as well hit on all the big points. “You know what else my dad did to me?”
Coco reached up and gently pressed her fingers to his lips. “I can guess. How long are you going to try to scare me off? Hm?”
He blinked at her. Was that what he was trying to do? He just didn’t know anymore.
“You’ve said several times how much alike we are, and I think today I finally realized it. Paxton, bad things happened to you that shouldn’t have happened. Your mom and dad aren’t good people. I’m sorry for what they did to you, but you aren’t them. You’re so much more. You’re a good person.”
“I killed two men today.” Two more to add to his body count.
�
�Yeah, one. How many did you shoot to injure? Silas talked to me a little about that, how good you are, that you hit each target where and how you intended to. That’s why there were only two dead.”
“Mrs. Pedersen told me the other night that I forget to look around and realize that I’m not alone. You aren’t either, Paxton. You don’t realize how much your team cares about you, how much I care about you, because like me you’re so used to being by yourself. It’s easier that way, isn’t it? You don’t have to consider another person’s feelings or what they want or anything else. It’s when you start to care that things get scary and you start to want to run away. Maybe to Seattle?”
“I’m not running.” His reply was automatic and hollow. He was running, and she’d caught him. “I’m going home.”
Coco peered up at him, not the least bit convinced.
Yeah, that sounded lame to him, too.
“Here’s the facts, Pax. While you haven’t come out and said any of this stuff about your family or why you got out of the Marines, I heard you. I know you. And I accept that not all of it is or was good, but it’s part of this amazing man who keeps saving me when I’m in over my head. And I’m falling in love with him. The bad, the good, the messy, the fun—all of it. Because that’s what love is. It’s accepting a person for who they are, who they were and who they will be.”
Paxton remained where he was, hardly daring to breathe.
Was this a dream?
If he moved would it shatter?
Coco rose up on one elbow and cupped his cheek.
“That’s probably a lot to throw at you right now, but if you’re serious about going home, I thought I should lay it all out there.” She ran her fingers through his still-damp hair. “I’m going to miss you.”
“I don’t want to leave,” he said. It just came out.
One side of her mouth quirked up.
That was his Coco.
She was fierce and funny. Her heart was too big for her body. And he thought she was the most beautiful soul he’d ever met.
Coco’s eyes sparkled, and she leaned down until their noses bumped. “Then don’t leave. But I’m biased, so maybe don’t listen to me?”
There was too much in his head trying to get out all at once. It was a jumbled mess of thoughts and feelings.
Coco loved him.
He slid his hand around the back of her neck and rolled. She laughed and held onto him as he settled over her, the zip of awareness bringing his mind fully into this moment with this woman. This amazing woman he didn’t want to let go of.
“Say it again,” he whispered.
“Whatever do you mean?” Her smile widened.
Paxton bent his head and kissed her, tasting cherry lip balm and minty gum. Her back arched and her hands held onto him. He turned his head, sucking in oxygen.
Her lips whispered against his neck then his ear. “I love you, Paxton.”
He turned his face to look at her, still astounded by everything that made up his Coco.
“I love you, too,” he whispered back.
Epilogue.
A year later. Cane De Jong’s Home, Johannesburg, South Africa.
Coco didn’t know how her brother had pulled this off. She couldn’t remember both sides of their family having ever been in the same room before.
Her father and step-dad were snickering like kids and fiddling with Cane’s stereo.
Mom, Olivia and Mia had taken over the kitchen, fussing over the food.
The boys were sprawled on the sofas, taking turns on the two hand-held gaming devices.
It had taken Coco moving half a world away for her to really get to know her family. She’d talked to each of these people more in the last twelve months than she had in years.
And the cherry on top? Cameron and his mother were here.
Cane had really stepped up after everything went down with Luke. One of the things Coco had been most touched by was how Cane went to bat for Cameron. He’d not only hired a lawyer and got the boy free, he’d found Cameron a job with one of his peers in Soweto handling social media and administrative tasks. Every couple of weeks she’d get another email from Cameron thanking her for helping him and giving him a chance when most others were prepared to write him off.
Cane caught her eye, grabbed her drink off the counter and came out to the patio where she’d retreated to catch her breath.
“Nice, isn’t it?” He nodded at the blended family inside.
“Yeah. Never really thought I’d see the day this happened.”
“Tell me about it.”
She glanced at her twin, dozens of questions swirling in her head.
“What?” He didn’t even look at her. “Spit it out already.”
“You and Mia?” How did Coco even begin to ask?
The wedding was postponed. Mia still wore her engagement ring. It was clear both she and the boys were very familiar with Cane’s apartment. They’d all gone out together multiple times this week.
“What about us?”
“Nothing.” Coco shook her head.
“No. Ask. Go on.” He sipped his beer.
“How are you two still together? How does that even work?” Those two questions had buzzed around in her head since the day she’d learned about Mia’s deception.
Cane glanced at Mia. “I didn’t love what she did, but I still loved her. She broke my trust in a lot of ways, but that didn’t change how I felt about her. A lot of what happened between us was real. Won’t lie, it’s been a rough year, not all of it good. We have a very different relationship now.”
“Still engaged?”
“Yup.” Cane shifted closer. “We’re discussing moving in together. Don’t tell Mom and Dad though, okay?”
“That’s a big step.”
“I want to be around more for the boys. And I still love her. I don’t want anyone else.”
His words made Coco’s insides warm and mushy. She’d been feeling a lot of that lately, which was a regular byproduct of getting to spend real time with Paxton.
“What’s that smile for?” Cane grinned and nudged her.
“I just relate, okay?”
“You two are awfully serious. How’s it working with school?”
Coco sighed. “I don’t see him near as much as I’d like to. Basically once a week each month I know he’ll be around. It’s not great with my schedule, so I spend three weeks trying to get caught up and ahead for him to be around again. It’s worth it, even if it makes me totally crazy.”
“Totally crazy. Yeah, I can relate.” He chuckled.
She lifted her glass, and he clinked his bottle. They sipped their beverages in silence.
Where was Paxton?
He’d gone down to pick up some drinks. It shouldn’t have taken him this long to grab things from the car.
Should she go check on him?
“So, you think he’s the one?” Cane asked, interrupting her thoughts.
“One what? Oh. The one?” Her cheeks heated and her stomach did a flip-flop.
Cane jostled her with his elbow. “That smile says it all.”
“Yeah.” He ducked her head and chuckled. “I mean, I don’t know how it happened. The moment we met it was like I found an old friend I’d always known. Half the time I know what he either is going to say or wants to say. He’s my person. I love him.”
She glanced up and caught Cane’s eye. His grin widened, and she knew Cane understood.
If Mia was Cane’s person, Coco understood how they could fix things. When it was right, when the love was there, so long as both people wanted to make it work, they could do it. That didn’t mean it was easy, but the end results were worth it.
The front door opened.
“Finally,” Coco muttered.
Paxton walked inside the apartment slowly, a bag of drinks on one arm and a familiar face on the other.
Coco gasped and tears welled up in her eyes. “Mrs. Pedersen?”
Paxton caught her gaze and smiled
.
Once more, he made her dreams come true.
PAXTON STEPPED BACK as Coco and the other women swarmed Mrs. Pedersen to either make introductions or hug as old friends. He’d known Coco was crushed when they’d learned about Mrs. P moving to live with her sister and help care for ailing family. Which was why Paxton had worked so hard to make tonight happen.
After all, it wouldn’t be perfect if Mrs. P weren’t included.
Paxton turned and glanced around the room. The dads were on the sofa listening to the kids explain whatever game it was they were playing. Cameron interpreted from time to time. Cane had taken the drinks and was putting them in the ice bucket. Paxton crossed to join him.
“That’s some surprise,” Cane said.
“Was a little worried it wasn’t going to happen. Sorry for keeping you in the dark.”
“Don’t be.” Cane chuckled. “I can’t ever keep a secret from Coco, anyway.”
That was a fact that had concerned Paxton at the beginning of this trip, but with how things were working out, he needn’t have worried so much.
“Can I have a word?” Paxton nodded at the patio done up with lights and candles for the festive evening.
“Sure. Beer?”
“No, thanks.”
“Sorry. I forgot.”
“Not a big deal.”
Paxton’s decision to forego alcohol altogether hadn’t been a big decision. There’d been no underlying reason. He’d just stopped. If he ever went back to a therapist, they’d probably have theories. For Paxton it came down to having too much to do what with work and traveling four hours one way to be with Coco.
“Sorry about having to cancel on you the other day,” Cane said as they pulled out chairs and sat.
“It’s all good.” Paxton’s palms were a touch sweaty, but he’d expected that.
He’d nearly thrown up when he’d taken Coco’s mother, Naomi, to breakfast while Coco was still passed out. This, by comparison, was much easier.
“What do you want to talk about?” Cane asked.
Here it went.
“I’m going to ask Coco to marry me. Tonight.” Paxton nodded at where Coco stood in a circle of their family, no doubt regaling them with some story from her semester at school. “I’d like your blessing.”
Cane snorted a laugh and shook his head. His eyes twinkled a lot like Coco’s did. “And here I was going to ask you how serious you were. She’s the one, huh?”
Dangerous Heat (Aegis Group, #8) Page 27
