“Well, hello there.” A dark-haired man of about thirty-five stopped at their booth and stood smiling at them. His gray suit was impeccable, and his white shirt was carefully starched. His appearance oozed money. A redhead in a slinky green dress clung to his arm like a limpet, her green eyes smoldering with appraisal as she looked Tatiana’s appearance over. She sniffed and snuggled closer to the man.
Jason put down his menu and pulled Tatiana closer in a proprietary hold. “Steve. I left a message on your voice mail. Those initial drawings are done. We should be ready to break ground on schedule.”
Tatiana wanted to struggle away, but Jason’s fingers bit into her arm in a grip that was almost painful.
Steve laughed. “You always seem to find the most beautiful women around, Jason. I can’t figure it out. I must be missing something.”
Jason grinned. “You don’t do too badly yourself.” He stared frankly at the young woman until she blushed hotly and stared back at him with an imperious air.
Tatiana’s temper began to rise. She was not a doll to be shown off like a trophy. Stiffening, she tried to pull away, but Jason’s grip tightened. Glancing around, she saw they were beginning to attract some attention.
“Excuse me,” she murmured, “I–I need to find the washroom.”
“Later,” Jason hissed. His grin widened. “Would the two of you care to join us?”
“No, thanks,” Steve said. “I intend to have Monica all to myself.” He squeezed his date around the waist and waved a hand in farewell. “I’ll talk to you Monday.”
He hadn’t even introduced her. Steve hadn’t introduced his date, either, just referred to her as though she were a possession. If there were any hope of relationship with Jason, Tatiana would have to make sure he understood such behavior was not acceptable.
“Guess I showed him,” Jason said. His smug expression spoke volumes. “I was proud to have you here with me.” He snaked an arm around her shoulders and hugged her, then nuzzled her neck.
Tatiana gasped in outrage. She put a hand against his chest and shoved. “I do not even know you. You must not act so.”
He laughed and released her. “I was too excited to think about what I was doing. I’m moving too quickly for you.” Picking up the menu, he opened it. “Have you decided what to order?”
She released the air she’d been holding in her lungs. Her hands trembled slightly as she picked up her menu. He didn’t even seem sorry and hadn’t apologized. “I think I’ll have the grilled mahimahi,” she said.
The rest of the meal Tatiana was on edge. Jason sat too close and was too familiar. Her food tasted like sand, and she ate barely a third of it. Twice she had to remove Jason’s hand from her knee. Would this evening ever end? She wished she’d listened to Gabe. This guy was a—whatever that fish was Gabe had called him. Or maybe an octopus, given his incessant habit of touching her. The level of her headache increased a notch.
“How about some dessert at this great place I know?” Jason said, pushing away his plate.
“I do not think I want any,” she said.
“Oh, you have to have dessert.” He pulled some bills out and left them on the small tray on the table.
Reluctantly, she followed him out of the booth. She just wanted to go home, but it seemed the evening was not over yet. Jason helped her into her coat and took her hand and led her out of the restaurant.
The cold March wind cut through her wool coat, and she gripped the neck of the coat with one hand. They crossed the street and walked a block, then turned on Canal Street. An imposing brick facade with fancy painted trim was halfway down the street, and Jason stopped in front of it. The doorway was dark, but he fumbled in his pocket for a key and opened the door.
“What is this place?” She pulled back from his grip.
“My loft apartment. I have some great cheesecake in the freezer. You’ll love it.”
The pleased expression in his eyes made her want to hit him. He thought he had her cornered. “No, thank you. Please take me home.”
His smile faded, and he stared at her through narrowed eyes. “Have you been leading me on?” he asked.
Leading him on? What did that mean? She bit her lip as she tried to decipher the meaning. He had been leading her down the street; she had merely followed.
He gave a short laugh that held no mirth. “You women are all alike. You just want a man to foot the bill without having to give him anything in return.
She winced at his bitterness. Perhaps he was merely hurt. “You seem like a nice man, Jason. But I do not know you well enough to go to your home.”
His expression grew cajoling. “How better to get to know me than to spend some time with me?” He took her hand again and tugged her toward the dark doorway.
It would be all right. He merely wanted to show her his apartment. She let him pull her for a moment, but as soon as she stepped through the door, he put his arms around her and pulled her into a suffocating embrace.
“Nyet!” She jerked her head away and pushed against his chest.
He tightened his grip. “It’s okay, sweetheart,” he murmured. “I’ll be glad to marry you if you just prove yourself to me tonight.”
As the meaning of his words penetrated, Tatiana fought more frantically and succeeded in breaking free. She fled out the dark hall and under the streetlight. He called after her, his voice angry, but she didn’t stop. Running back the way they’d come, she just wanted to find other people and bright lights. Tears flooded her eyes and trickled down her cheeks.
Jason didn’t pursue her. She turned onto Miami Street and hurried toward Market Street. She would call for a cab. Gabe wouldn’t have the satisfaction of coming to pick her up. She would go home, and he would never know Jason hadn’t brought her.
The restaurant didn’t have a phone book, and she wandered down the street looking for a phone booth with a book. When she couldn’t find one, she went inside J and K Pet Store. When she asked about a pay phone, a smiling young woman behind the counter offered to let her use the store’s phone book. But when she tried to find a cab listing, there was none. She asked the clerk if she knew how to reach a cab service.
She laughed. “Honey, this is Wabash. We don’t have any cabs here. You either walk or call a friend.”
Tatiana’s shoulders slumped. She didn’t have a choice. Her fingers shook as she dug in her purse and pulled out the card and phone Gabe had given her.
He answered on the first ring.
She might as well get it over with and admit she was wrong. “Gabe, you were right. Jason was a–a fish. What was that word you called him?”
“A barracuda.” She heard the smile in his voice. “Where are you? Are you all right?”
“At the pet store. And my pride only is hurt.”
He laughed. “That seems appropriate, somehow. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
He hung up, and she went to watch for him from the window. He was there in seven minutes. Relief flooded her when she saw his Jeep pull up outside. Until that moment, she hadn’t realized how afraid she was that Jason would find her. She waved good-bye to the lady behind the counter and hurried outside. She slid inside the Jeep and slammed the door. Turning to find Gabe’s gaze on her, she burst into tears.
“What did he do?” His voice was grim.
“Nothing.” She cried harder than ever.
Gabe gripped the steering wheel so tightly she wondered if he might break it. “Did he hurt you?”
She sniffed and wiped at her face with her bare hands. Forcing a smile, she took a deep breath. “No, but he was not a nice man.”
“No, he’s a fish, remember?”
She stared at him. How could he laugh? Then her mouth quirked, and she giggled. Covering her mouth, she tried to stop, then Gabe sucked his cheeks in and scrunched his lips in a fish imitation, and she lost the battle. She laughed until she cried. Gabe laughed, too, a great belly laugh.
He wiped his eyes. “Woman, I have to get you home or
Mother will worry we’ve had an accident.”
She hiccuped and nodded. “I must check on Irina.”
He gave a final chuckle, then put the Jeep in gear and pulled out onto the street.
“Thank you for coming to fetch me,” she said after a long silence.
“You’re welcome. I should have prevented you from going in the first place.” His jaw tightened. “And I will have a little talk with Mike. He’s not a good judge of appropriate men. I will have to take the project in hand myself.”
Sadness pierced her heart. For all their comradery, nothing had changed. He was still certain there could never be anything more than friendship between them. But she was ready to hear the reasons now. She wet dry lips and swallowed hard. Her heart pounded, and she felt as though she couldn’t breathe. Maybe she was ready to hear.
Taking a deep breath, she spoke softly. “I–I can listen now. To—to your reasons.” Would she have to say more or would he understand?
The muscle in his jaw twitched, and he sighed as he realized what she meant. He reached the driveway to his home and pulled in, then stopped. The outside light illuminated his face, and his gray eyes were sober and intent. “I have to tell you that I’ve never been more attracted to a woman than I am to you, Tatiana.”
“Then why?” she burst out.
He sighed. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he said softly.
“I fear it is too late,” she said. “Always, we cannot go through life without some pain. We would be afraid to live if we worried about that.”
“There can never be more than friendship between us. You’re not a Christian.”
She stared at him. “Why should that matter? Do you think I am not good enough for you? I am a good person, Gabe. Surely, you have seen this?”
He nodded. “You’re a wonderful woman, Tatiana. But the Bible specifically tells me I cannot be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever. It causes too much strain in a marriage, and your lack of faith could cause me to lose my fervor for God.”
“You love your God so much?” She could see there was no changing his mind. He had thought this through and knew what he must do. For a moment, she was tempted to go to church with him tomorrow and pretend a faith she didn’t feel, but she knew she couldn’t be so deceitful with him. Never with him. They had begun their relationship with honesty when he told her the truth at the airport, and they had to continue with honesty or there was no real caring between them.
He nodded. “He’s the most important thing in my life. And I want to be able to share that with my wife and children.”
“I would not hinder your religion.” She knew her desperate words would make no dent in his resolve, but she had to try.
“You wouldn’t mean to, but you would. There would be small innuendos at first that would spiral down to outright derision and mockery. I’ve seen it in the marriages of others. We must pull together in a marriage, or we would pull apart. And I mean to marry only one time.”
“You speak as though we were oxen. Being yoked and pulling together.” She tried to lighten the somber moment to keep from bursting into tears. This was the one thing she couldn’t fight against.
He gave a slight smile, but it was tinged with sadness. “I wish it was different, Tatiana. You don’t know how much I wish it.”
The ache in her heart told how much she wished. He must not know how involved her emotions were already. “I must check on Irina. Spasibo. Thank you for your honesty.” Fighting tears, she opened the Jeep door and hurried inside. His words had been the death knell of the hopes she’d cherished.
She heard him say her name, but she didn’t pause. Racing up the steps, she tore down the hall and reached the sanctuary of her room. Minutes later, she heard him knock softly at her door, but she didn’t answer. She didn’t want him to see how devastated she was. Once she heard his door close, she slipped out to check on Irina.
Irina lay sleeping with one arm around her Pooh. The moonlight touched her face with silver, and she looked happy and content. Tatiana vowed to keep it that way. No matter what she had to do.
ten
“I knew I would not be allowed to stay without a husband,” Tatiana said calmly.
How could she be so unperturbed? Gabe eyed her uncertainly. He hadn’t been able to concentrate on his work all afternoon once he’d received the call. “I’ve called everyone I know to call. This seems to be the end of the line. There’s no way you can stay without a husband.”
She nodded. “I told you it would be this way, Gabe.”
“He always was the stubborn one,” Martha put in. Her leg was propped on a chair as she sat peeling potatoes at the table. “Mike pretty much went with the flow, but not our Gabe. He had to take on the world. Always thought, if the rules were wrong, he’d fix them.”
Gabe suppressed a sigh. Since Martha came home three weeks ago, Tatiana had been regaled with every story Martha had been able to dredge from her memory.
“So, I guess I’d better see what we can do to find you a husband.” The pain in his heart at the thought of her marrying someone else nearly took his breath away. How could he bear it? But it was either that or disobey God. The thought of disobedience was tempting, though. As tempting as Tatiana’s beauty, as tempting as Irina’s sweetness and gentleness, as tempting as his own attraction to Tatiana. But some part of him wouldn’t allow it. It would be like throwing all he believed out the door.
But maybe he was looking at it wrong. God commanded Christians to feed the hungry. He could take these two he loved and keep them safe and fed. But as quickly as the thought came, he pushed it away. He was trying to rationalize it to get what he wanted, not what God had commanded. He’d seen others do that same thing, to their eventual sorrow.
A shadow darkened her eyes, and she nodded. “I must find a husband. The problem is in the accomplishing of it.”
The pain in her voice tore at his heart, and he questioned his resolve yet again. He couldn’t in good conscience find her a Christian man. Yet the thought of her marrying someone who wouldn’t tenderly try to lead her into the paths of faith hurt, too. He sighed. “We’ll have a party, and I’ll invite all my business acquaintances. There will surely be someone you’ll like.”
“When shall we do this?” She put the roaster in the oven and turned the temperature knob.
“The sooner the better. We only have seven weeks.” Seven weeks before she would be lost to him forever. Seven weeks before he no longer heard the trill of her laughter, the way she pronounced his name, the sound of her voice as she read to Irina. Seven weeks before the house fell silent with reproach. No more squeals of delight from Irina, no more Barney music, no more tiny arms around his neck. The thought was almost more than he could bear. How could it be wrong to keep them safe, to keep them here with him?
But he knew it was. He’d never fully understood the passage in the Bible about how a Christian had two natures that war against one another. The battle was fully engaged in his soul, but he knew he had to make sure God’s man won. Hard as it might be.
Tatiana was rattling off a list of food she might prepare. “Fix whatever you want,” he told her. “This will be an opportunity to show off your culinary skills to some lucky man.”
She nodded soberly, then turned to knead the bread that was raising on the butcher block island. He left her and Martha discussing the menu and went to tell his mother. She was in the backyard getting her flower beds ready for spring.
Her hands encased in pink flowered gloves, she knelt in her garden bed turning the wet soil. She showed Irina how to dig the earth with a garden fork, then let the little girl do it for herself. Pushing a strand of hair from her eyes, his mother straightened up and pressed a hand in the small of her back. “Just in time, Gabe. Turn the hose on for me. I forgot it.”
He nodded, stepped to the faucet, and twisted the handle. His mother loved nothing more than getting her hands dirty in the garden. She was like a little kid making mud pies. In fact, Irina seem
ed to be picking up her green thumb. Irina’s hair glimmered with gold lights from the April sunshine, and she seemed in her element. Chattering happily, she dug her small hands into the earth. He watched them together for a moment. They loved one another; that much was obvious.
He knelt and began to help them. “We’re having a party,” he said.
Grace nodded. “I wondered when you would think of that.” She glanced down at Irina, playing happily in the dirt. “I’m going to miss them both.”
“You think I’m not?” He lowered his voice when she winced and motioned toward Irina. “I’m trying to do the right thing here, Mother.”
She laid a hand on his arm. “I know you are, Gabe. And you’re right, of course. But it’s so hard.” She glanced again to Irina. “I pray daily for them both. I had so hoped Tatiana would become a Christian. But life isn’t always easy; the right choices are sometimes the hard ones.”
“This is one choice I’m struggling with.”
“We have to remember He loves them more than we do.” Tears shimmered in her eyes, but she blinked them away and knelt to dig in the soil again. “I’d always hoped for so much for you, Son. Tat—well, Tatiana seemed perfect. You’ve been alone so long.”
And he would be alone a lot longer. He sighed and went to the house. He would have his secretary send out the invitations tomorrow.
§
The next few days sped by. Tatiana had been allowing Irina to accompany the family to church but refused to come herself. Gabe didn’t push her. He knew she resented God for Sergio’s death. He didn’t know how she felt about what God said about being unequally yoked, but he suspected the knowledge had strengthened her belief that God didn’t care anything about her.
The house bustled with preparation for the party for several days. The day came much too quickly. Gabe dressed for the party with his stomach knotted with dread. The aroma from the kitchen had been tantalizing all day, but he didn’t see how he could eat anything, no matter how good it smelled. His mother had insisted on buying Tatiana a new dress, and the two had been ensconced in her room for the past two hours.
From Russia With Love Page 10
