by Towne, L. E.
Ross sighed and finished his drink. Jack flicked his eyes to the left and the waiter appeared from that direction.
“Another one Sir?” he asked politely.
“Yes, please.” Ross nodded.
“Look, if something happened, it’s none of my business and I’m not judging.” Jack kept his judgmental tone out of his words. “I hate to see you so–” He sat up straight. “It’s not your mom is it? You said things were going well.”
“No, it’s not. Mom is fine, she’s got two more rounds of radiation and she’s done. She loved the flowers by the way. She went on and on about how you remembered pink and white impatiens.”
“It’s all in the details, pal. I’m glad she’s doing well. So, that means we’re onto Dani.” Jack settled back with a sigh. “Oh yeah, you guys had the weekend in the woods or whatever. How was that?”
“It was okay, or disastrous, depending out how you look at it. Interesting, cold, rustic.”
Jack chuckled. “Was that the place or the relationship issues?”
“Kinda both.”
Two days after returning from Harv and Marge’s cabin in the woods, Ross knew that Dani wasn’t a contingency plan. Jack had been right, Dani was a great girl, and she deserved better. She deserved to have a guy who was all in, in for everything, someone who could find the real Dani underneath all the superficial trappings she put up. Because as hard as Ross tried, or thought he tried, he wasn’t that guy. His heart wasn’t in it. It was somewhere else, with someone else and good or bad, right or wrong, that’s where he was.
“So congrats on the Mackenzie Lehrman account.” Jack changed the subject abruptly.
“Yeah, they liked my work with Global Ent. Terry put in a great word for me.”
“That’s got to bring in a nice annual figure.”
“It’s a very nice cushion.” Ross smiled. He wouldn’t have to scrape for every gig that was out there, he could pick and choose. And now that he was finally making some serious money, he didn’t find the challenge of work nearly as fun as he used to. Perhaps, Jonathan had been right. Ross felt that his job had turned from helping people do their jobs better to upping his client’s bottom line. This was something he wanted to talk about with Azure, get her take on it. He didn’t.
Ross’s drink was set before him with a fresh cocktail napkin. The Jameson warmed his gut and made him feel loose and slightly blurry. Outside, it was snowing, soft white flakes swirling in the grey sky. He watched for a while, losing himself in the patterns. Jack smoked. Finally, Ross turned back to the table.
“So let me ask you a question. When you met Sienna, how did you know it was going to work out? How did you know she was the one?”
Jack grinned from behind his martini.
“Hell, I don’t know if it’s going to work out now. I never know. Every day I wake up and she still hasn’t kicked me out of bed, so I guess I haven’t fucked it up too bad.”
“The woman’s a saint.” Ross grinned at him.
“Too true.”
“I’m glad you guys are good.”
“Yeah, we’re good. You know Sienna, she’s weird and quirky and maybe a bit crazy, but she won’t let me fall off the cliff, and I’ve come close a couple of times. She’s a kite holder. Couldn’t fly without her.”
“It’s not working. Dani and me.”
“I’m sorry, man.”
“Yeah, me too.” Ross stretched his shoulders, easing the tension out of them. “It’s getting harder to even be friends anymore. She feels it too. I think we’re both just avoiding saying it.”
Jack held his glass out in a toast.
“Here’s to avoidance, man’s best friend since before Stoli’s”
Ross raised his glass to touch Jack’s in a pleasant clink.
“Or Jameson.”
On the way home, he dialed Az’s number. So much space and time had elapsed he couldn’t stand it anymore. He had to find out if she was working things out with Jonathan or becoming free of him.
-11-
Ross sat in his cramped seat on the plane. The overweight woman next to him reeked of Obsession cologne. Over the last hour and a half it had become his least favorite fragrance on the planet. The captain’s voice whined once again over the noise of the jet engines.
“Sorry again for the delay folks, we’ll be arriving in Minneapolis in just about ten minutes, for those of you having connecting flights, please see our flight personnel at the gate as some flights are cancelled due to weather.”
A collective groan rose up from seats behind him. The woman swiveled her head on her fat neck to see someone behind her. Her shoulder bumped Ross for the fifty- third time.
“Oh excuse me,” she said for the twenty- ninth time and Ross calculated that while she was very polite, there were twenty- four bumps and jostles that she did not account for. He didn’t care; he was as antsy to vacate the plane as anyone else, maybe more so. He was to have landed three hours earlier, in plenty of time to make his speech and get ready for the workshop. But travel plans went awry with bad weather and de-icing machines on the fritz. He’d never missed a gig or been late and this was cutting it close. All of the reasons he listed in his head were accurate, but the real reason he was so anxious to get out of there was to see Azure. As the plane landed, he realized that it was a year, almost to the day, since he’d gotten that first email from her.
It had been a long year for him. His mom’s treatments made him want to spend more time at home, and with that, he’d become closer to his brother and sister than he’d felt in a while. He loved being Uncle Ross to the twins and had started thinking of kids of his own someday.
The career was going well. He had a fair amount of work and the financial crunch was starting to ease up, but between work and his family, he didn’t have much time for Dani. She was focusing on her own career, and got an agency to book her for more lucrative modeling jobs, even some acting jobs. And of course, Chad and Sandy’s wedding in April was a constant topic of conversation for her.
Throughout all of the everyday slog of his life, Azure had been there in his thoughts. He’d remember little things she’d said, or the feel of her against him, or the sweet clean smell of her and he’d smile. At these times, Dani would watch him, as though he’d been replaced by an alien being and would soon morph into something icky and green. Their sad attempt to get back on track had failed, both of them coming back from the cabin not speaking, lost in separate worlds. Ross spent a lot of time at his parents’ house, or Ben’s. Dani took on more out of town jobs. When she got the big role in a local play, she rehearsed at all hours of the day. The rest of the time she was at Sandy’s, doing something for the wedding of the century.
After he’d finally broken his promise of space and called her, he received no call back and he feared whatever they’d had was, really and truly over. His life plan was unraveling, and he had no way to patch it up. Dani and he were done. He was fairly sure of that, but he had no idea about Azure’s life. Not hearing was killing him, slowly. He’d called and left more messages. He’d texted and emailed and finally two weeks prior to this trip, he’d received a terse reply. All business. He’d responded and gradually, her answers became less like an event coordinator and more like Azure.
“It’s been a long year, and it’s only March.” Azure sighed into the phone.
Ross felt her pain from a thousand miles away and reminded her that it would soon be a year since they’d met.
“Tell me,” Ross replied. “What’s going on with you?” He was driving to his parent’s house when she’d called him. It was early afternoon, traffic was light. His overnight bag, a constant item in the jeep these days, was packed with enough clothes for three days. Alongside it were two presents, wrapped in pink and purple paper for his nieces.
Az sighed again. “Just talk to me for a bit, okay? I need to hear you.”
Her request thrilled him and he talked. He spoke about the eight year old twin’s birthday he was going to, his mo
m’s return to health now that she was done with radiation, his big account with Mackenize Lehrman, anything but Dani. It would be an invasion into the perfection of the day, and hearing her voice on the phone.
“Sounds like you’re a great Uncle.”
“I am a terrific Uncle, when they play Beauty and the Beast, Ben is always the beast and I am the handsome Gaston.”
“You do know that the beast is really a handsome prince who’s been cursed right? And Belle ends up with him and not Gaston.”
Az’s laugh sparkled and dropped like butterflies across his ears. He grinned into the phone.
“It’s good to hear you laugh.”
“It’s good to laugh. I can’t remember the last time.”
“Karaoke night at the Hilton Inn.” Ross said. He waited for a school bus to let kids off at the corner. “How’s Eli?” She had told him some of what was going on in her life, the constant strain with Jonathan. Her main concern through it all had been her son.
“He’s good, has this best ever bestest–his words–friend. His name is Jason and they hang out. Again, his words. He’s five and talks like a teenager. But he’s happy and spends time at Jason’s, which is good because Jonathan and I aren’t much fun right now. Jonathan’s still looking for work, though not as enthusiastically as before. He resents every minute I’m away, even though I’m paying most of the bills now. It’s not the best situation.”
Ross remembered their email conversation. Before he saw her in Chicago, she’d mentioned Jonathan’s company lay-off.
“Has he had any leads?”
“Some interviews, but he doesn’t really want the job, it pays too low or it’s beneath his education or something.” She paused and Ross waited, both at a traffic light and for her to continue. “Things in England are not going to be much better.”
“Wait, he’s talking about going home?” Ross’s heart sped up. “Would you and Eli go with him? If he goes?”
She sighed.
“I don’t know. I can’t see spending the next twenty years with him. There, I said it.”
“I’m going to leave Dani. “ Ross blurted out. He hadn’t meant to, he was going to listen to her and console her, be supportive, but her statement obliterated all thought except—she’s free.
“Ross?” her voice shook. He wanted to reach through the phone and take her in his arms. He had arrived at his parents’ house, was parked outside on the street, and he couldn’t hang up. The twins finally spotted him and came running out. Azure heard them over the phone.
“You better go,” she said.
“We need to talk. There’s so much I–”
“I’ll see you in Minneapolis.”
The twins were tapping on the window, their snow covered mittens smearing wet prints across his view of the house.
“Az? Let’s make some time, there, okay? For us?”
Again, her laughter enveloped him in a new buoyancy. One he’d never felt before.
“Why do you think I called?” She hung up and he got out of the car, smiling.
------
After an agonizingly slow cab ride through the frozen winter land of a freeway, Ross arrived at the hotel and texted Azure. They’d planned on meeting before his speech to talk, to make plans, or make whatever they could make in the space of three hours when they were finally alone together. As it was, he barely had time to check in and run to the conference room for his speech. Only the workshop for his newest client, Mac-Lehrman remained and then he’d be free for the rest of the conference.
After the speech he tried to catch up with her, but only caught a glimpse of her dark spiky hair as she slipped out the door. He’d been surrounded by people from the audience, asking more questions and handing him business cards. CTC hadn’t sponsored this event, and Az and her team simply manned a booth in the lobby. The new coordinator had insisted on a lengthy briefing about his next workshop, and he rushed through her questions. He made some excuse to get away and ran for the elevator.
Finally, Azure was in his hotel room. She looked exquisite. The green blazer brought out the midnight blue and amethyst colors of her eyes. Her black pencil skirt was deceptively sexy and the perfect length for showing off spectacular legs. Black pumps and a cream silk blouse made the outfit businesslike. Ross wanted to kneel before her, run his hands up under her skirt as she sat in the wing chair by the window. He poured her a drink instead.
His room had been upgraded to a suite, because of the storm, lots of staff had left early and he took advantage of the offer. He stepped into the bathroom and peeled off his shirt. It was crumpled and damp from both traveling and his speech. Splashing water in the sink, he listened to her talk as she strolled about the room. Occasionally, he’d pop his head out of the bathroom to watch her. She looked out the window, and more than once, she looked over at his naked torso. He should prepare for his workshop, a lot was riding on his performance there, but he couldn’t think about anything except this woman, in his room. He finished washing up and pulled on a fresh shirt as he stood next to her at the window.
It was comfortable and tense at the same time, a sense of something held back for far too long. Finally, he couldn’t stand it any longer, being so close and not touching her. His hand snaked around her waist and he pulled her close. She resisted at first, but then she touched him, bringing his head down to kiss her. Her tongue was tentatively bold, tasting him. He focused on the minor fact that he had brushed his teeth, but lost that thought as she touched the bare skin of his chest, just above the two closed buttons of his shirt. Her fingers were hot against him, her mouth even more so. He asked if she was sure about this, knowing the answer before she spoke.
They were on the bed, the length of him melted against her beautiful strong legs, open and inviting. The pencil skirt pushed up to reveal white bikini panties with a tiny black bow at the top. She panted into his mouth and he struggled to take his time, exploring all of her. His shirt was opened by her deft fingers and he started as they padded over his nipples, circling once and then pulling. His cock, already hard against her, began to throb in its need for release.
Skin buzzed and ears pounded as Azure kissed him, pouring herself into it. Ross could feel every word in that kiss, all the months and the need and the near misses and what they tried to push away. They couldn’t deny it any longer. He pulled his lips away and unbuttoned the cream silk to expose even creamier flesh and he pressed his hot mouth between her breasts. She moaned and reached up, arms around his neck, fingers on the smooth plane of his back. He arched his back, jutting into her, letting her feel all of him through disarrayed clothing. Ross wanted to be up against her, every inch of their skin pressed together and he kissed her again before he sat up to tear away clothes.
From the bathroom counter, his phone tinged an electronic bell and he remembered. He stopped, his eyes closed. He bent down and his forehead touched hers, they breathed the same air.
“I can’t,” he spoke, searching her face for an excuse, a reason to not be there. Her eyes widened in surprise, and then uncertainty. He rushed on. “No, I mean, right now, I can’t. I have the workshop in like.” He glanced at the clock. “Five minutes.” He couldn’t bring himself to leave. He could be late. Workshops in the past have been delayed due to some glitch or other. Never his workshops of course, but...it did happen. She smiled and pulled him against her again. He remembered Mackenzie-Lehrman setting this up for him. A whole new course, with his own ideas for not only work habits, but life habits and they’d taken a chance on letting him teach it.
He rolled away from her and blinked at the ceiling, groaning inwardly at the timing. Nothing ever seemed to go their way. He forced himself off the bed and into the bathroom. He could hear her stunned breathing and it felt like heart break. Within minutes he came back to her, planting kisses on her face and she sighed in relief.
“Wait for me. I’ll be an hour, hour and half, tops.” She smiled up at him, kissed him softly and said go. He moved to the door, suit c
oat over his arm and briefcase in his hand as though he were a suburban husband off to work in the morning. Not such a bad thing. He looked back to see her sit up, blouse un-done, pale pink bra just covering her breasts, elegant in her dishevelment. She blew him a kiss.
Azure
The snow had finally subsided, transforming downtown into an ethereal otherworld.
“You know, I think this is the first time I’ve ever been in a hotel room with you.”
Ross Berenger stood a few feet behind her, a fresh shirt over his shoulders, hands on the buttons, halfway through their task. “Is this…uncomfortable? For you? I mean we could—”
“No, it’s fine.” Azure rushed to reassure him.
“I just thought, there was no other place to talk…without someone stopping—”
“Ross, it’s fine. Don’t worry.” She paused because he’d stepped closer, an arm’s length away, too close and too far at the same time. Her entire thought process had condensed to that one moment of vibration—an unidentifiable hum, an unknown frequency that was impossible to resist.
“Good, because I’ve…” Time swirled around them as he stopped talking and looked at her. The final levee break was hers. Her arms circled his neck, fingers tangling in his hair, pulling his head down. His mouth was soft, full and moved elegantly against hers. She knew he was a good kisser, having limited samplings in elevators and empty conference rooms, but she was surprised at how much more this was. Ross was thorough and took his time, open mouthed and hungry but not harsh—just a perfect exploration of her. She offered him everything to explore. He broke off only once to ask if she was sure, barely waiting for a breathless yes before his weight melded into hers, spilling them onto the bed.
