His mother had whimpered painfully upon hearing his question. He'd watched her steel herself right in front of his eyes. She straightened her back, took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye as she said, “Some people don't know how to love, Matt. Some people are so twisted up inside they don't know how to go through the world with love in their hearts. And it makes them mean inside.”
“I hate him!” Matt shouted fiercely. “I'll hate him till the day I die.”
His mother reached out and smoothed his dark mane of hair by running her fingers through it. It was what she did whenever she wanted to soothe his wild soul. “Don't hate, cantkiya. Love. Love with all your might. One day you'll find a special someone who'll be worth loving with everything you have. It will be a love like no other. Her happiness will be the most important thing to you. That is the difference between loving and possession.”
Although he didn't betray his feelings to his mother, chaotic thoughts ran around and around his head. What had loving his father ever given his mother but heartache? I'll never get married, he vowed. I'll never let someone twist me around like this. If this is what love does to a person, he remembered thinking, I'll skip it.
Again, pain sliced through him upon remembering all the difficulties his mother had endured.
She'd deserved so much better. Far better than she'd ever received. And she'd wanted so much for him, much more than he'd ever dared to dream for himself. She'd wished him a love like no other. Here he was at thirty years old, still single and unattainable, much to the chagrin of many ladies around town who'd tried to snag him. He'd always thought he didn't have time for love, but he knew now it went much deeper. He was scarred. Damaged. He was a serious non-believer. At an early age he'd learned the perils of loving hard and placing your trust in the wrong person. Till death do us part. The words splintered through his soul, haunting him with their weight and simplicity. He thought of Marissa – spunky, spirited, gorgeous Marissa. Something inside him felt as if it was bursting wide open, and he knew if he wasn't careful, he was about to fall headlong over the edge.
***
Marissa looked at the listings on her Santana Realty website, making note of several stunning houses in the million-dollar range which might appeal to her client. A sense of excitement thrummed through her as she began the process of matching the client's needs with her existing properties.
It wasn't every day that a gorgeous movie star relocated to Briarwood. According to his agent, the move was temporary and only slated to coincide with the filming of his next movie. The film company was set to purchase a large property so the actor could live comfortably while filming in the area. Although she was sworn to secrecy for the moment, it tickled her to imagine the reaction from the females in town when they heard Jarrod Alexander was coming to town. Personally, she didn't really care about the movie star himself. For her it was all about the sale. Selling a property was an adrenaline rush for her.
Out of the corner of her eyes she saw a flash of color as Matt made his appearance. He cleared his throat to get her attention. When she looked up from the computer he was standing in the doorway dressed in a gray suit. A purple tie accentuated the outfit. His hair was neatly tied back in a ponytail and he wore a fancy pair of shoes that looked as if they'd recently been polished. He looked simply delicious.
“It's Sunday.”
She stared at him blankly. “Yes, I know. We attended church service this morning.”
“We've been invited for Sunday dinner.”
“Sunday dinner?” The realization hit her all at once, slamming into her solar plexus as if she'd been hit with a baseball bat. Fear sliced through her, creating a panicky feeling in the pit of her stomach. “Oh, no! No way!”
He grinned at her wolfishly, showing an inordinate amount of straight, white teeth. “I never turn down an invitation to Sunday dinner.”
“Call Beau or Evie. Tell them it's an emergency and you need someone to watch me.”
Matt stood with both arms crossed over his chest. “Nope. I think it's time you met Aurelia.”
Aurelia. Otherwise known as Old widow Jenkins. Panic skittered through her, and her heart began doing a wild tango in her chest at the thought of coming face to face with Aurelia Jenkins. What would she do? What would she say to the woman? So sorry for spreading unfounded gossip about you romancing your semi-adopted grandson?
“Cancel!” she said in a strangled voice. “Tell her you're sick -.”
“It's too late to cancel,” he said firmly. “She's expecting two dinner guests and that's exactly what she's getting,” he said in a firm tone.
“I thought you said I was supposed to keep a low profile. If I'm gallivanting all over town that's not keeping a low profile.” Her voice sounded whiny to her own ears, but she was feeling desperate and boxed in. She wasn't used to following orders and being bossed around by a bodyguard with a badge.
“Aurelia lives out in the country. I'm going to leave two of my deputies here to conduct surveillance on the house. Most likely it'll be Beau and Evie.”
Her spirits buoyed at the mention of Beau. “Leave me here with Beau. He wouldn't have a problem with it.”
He flashed her a look of annoyance. “No, I'm sure he'd be thrilled,” he said sarcastically.
She flashed him a knowing smile. “Evie on the other hand might scratch my eyes out.”
“You noticed her mad crush on Beau?” he said with a disgusted shake of his head.
“Noticed? You'd have to be blind, deaf and clueless not to see the signals she's putting out.”
“I'm going to have to talk to her about that,” he said sternly.
“About what? A little crush?”
“It's unprofessional.”
“It's real life. She's human. And she's in love.”
Matt wrinkled his nose as if he'd just smelled something rotten. “Love? You think it's love?”
She nodded her head and grinned. “Yup. I think she's in love with him.”
“That's just disturbing on so many levels. Not to mention the fact that Beau doesn't seem to know she's alive and breathing. Although I think he would rate her a ten on the annoyance scale.”
“I should play matchmaker,” she said dreamily. “I could give Evie a makeover. Not that she's not cute,” she quickly added. “It's just those deputy uniforms do absolutely nothing for a girl's figure. I could take her to my friend Trina's hair shop, get her hair done, put some makeup on and put her in a nice dress and a pair of heels!” Marissa said in a spirited voice. “Beau wouldn't know what hit him.”
“Don't even think about it. She's already getting on my nerves with her lovesick antics. Can you imagine if they actually became a couple?” He shivered in an exaggerated fashion and made a crazy face. “There would be madness and mayhem at the Sheriff's office.”
Marissa giggled with laughter at his horrified expression. She would pay good money just to see it all go down.
Matt looked at his watch and tapped the glass. “You better go get dressed. We're fixin’ to be late for dinner.”
She looked down at her comfy jeans and T shirt, wishing she could convince Matt to allow her to stay behind while he went to dinner. Something about his determined expression told her not to fight his decision, since in all likelihood, she was going to lose that battle. There was no way she was wriggling off the hook.
Ten minutes later she was dressed to impress in a new dress she'd recently purchased at an upscale boutique. The floral dress clung nicely to her curves without being inappropriate. It cinched in at the waist and hit her right at the knee. It was a perfect dress, she thought, for having Sunday dinner with Old Widow Jenkins and the Sheriff. She didn't know what had prompted her to pack the dress along with the rest of her casual items, but at the moment she felt thankful she had something decent to wear. She'd taken her hair out of the ponytail and quickly flat-ironed it into a sleek style that hung prettily around her shoulders. With a dash of mascara and lipstick she was done. �
�Not too bad,” she said as she viewed her reflection in the mirror.
By the time she made her way downstairs Beau had just walked in the door with an armful of flowers.
“Sheriff, here are the flowers you asked me to pick up for Aurelia.” He handed Matt a bouquet of white roses interspersed with heather. The flowers were so beautiful, and for a single wild moment, she imagined how she would feel if Matt had bought the flowers for her. But they're not for you, she reminded herself, feeling silly for even thinking such thoughts. Maybe she’d been cooped up too long inside. She wasn’t thinking straight.
Beau looked at her with manly appreciation as he let out a soft whistle. “You look gorgeous, Marissa.”
She grinned at him, making a mental note of his handsome features and leanly muscled physique. She could definitely see the appeal as far as Evie was concerned. Beau had a lot going for him. Who was she kidding? Beau was great, but all she could see was Matt.
Matt scowled at his deputy, appearing a bit menacing as he stared him down, his eyes slitted like a snake and glimmering with an emotion that made him look dangerous. An unspoken tension lingered in the air between the two men, causing her to wonder if something had gone down between them earlier.
Not certain if she fit the bill for Aurelia's Sunday dinner, she turned towards Matt in search of his approval. “Do I look all right?”
“You look...pretty,” Matt said as Beau looked on like a proud Papa.
“Thanks,” she said, feeling a bit self-conscious as Matt stared at her. She nervously smoothed the floral patterned dress down over her hips, noticing the way Matt's eyes followed the movements of her hands. She locked gazes with him, remembering their kiss from the other night and the feel of his feather light touch as his fingers skimmed over the back of her neck. She wondered if Matt was remembering it too. An electric current of awareness passed between them as they stared each other down, neither one of them willing to look away.
Beau glanced back and forth between them, his brows furrowed in annoyance as the air in the room became charged and thick with tension.
“We should get going,” Matt said abruptly as he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the door. Beau's expression darkened as he watched Matt's hand laced with her own. Crazy as it seemed, it was as if Matt was staking his claim. Although she had no clue as to what had provoked him to grab her hand, she had no complaints. His hand was big and strong. She loved the way it felt linked with her own. It made her feel safe. And wanted. If only for this brief moment in time.
***
As they headed to Aurelia's house Matt's head was racing with a million different thoughts. He'd acted like an idiot back at his place. He'd been jealous watching Beau drool over his woman like a lovesick cow. His woman? Where had that thought come from? She wasn't his woman. Just because they'd kissed didn't mean that he owned her. Just because they were temporarily living under the same roof didn't mean they had a relationship. Relationship? Sheesh. He hated that word. It was all fluffy and romantic. He didn't do fluffy and romantic. Ever. Even the flowers Beau had brought over were way too over the top. He usually bought sunflowers for Aurelia, not an armful of roses, and he was pretty sure he'd passed that information on to Beau. Roses were for romantic love, not motherly love. He'd bet his last dollar that Beau had purchased the flowers with Marissa in mind.
He counted to ten and began to pray. Prayer hadn’t always been a part of life. Aurelia had taught him about being prayerful. She’d brought him closer to God, and although he knew he had miles to go on his journey, he liked to think he was a man of faith.
The moment Beau walked into his house he'd been salivating all over Marissa and telling her she looked beautiful. Of course he could have kicked Beau out of his house. Beau was beginning to irritate him to no end. Wasn't there some other woman he could fawn over? Maybe he should encourage Marissa to act as matchmaker for him and Evie. It would be far less painful than watching him flirting with Marissa.
He turned towards her as he drove down the two lane highway, sneaking little glances of her from time to time. He couldn't help it. Her beauty had a crazy effect on him. Try as he might, he couldn't stop staring at her. What he really wanted to do was kiss her again, to feel those soft, supple lips melding with his own. To gaze into her eyes and catch a little glimpse of heaven.
“What?” she finally asked in an exasperated tone.
“Nothing,” he said sheepishly.
“You keep looking at me like I have something on my face.” She took out a gold compact from her purse and studiously examined her face. Finding nothing she turned back towards him with a questioning look.
Matt couldn't help but laugh. “No, you don't have anything on your face.”
“Then what?”
“You look beautiful. That's all.” He fought the feeling of discomfort welling up inside him. He wasn't a man used to doling out compliments to women. It just wasn't his style.
“Thanks for saying so.” She graced him with a dazzling smile that made his insides do flip flops. “You do too.”
They continued along the road in companionable silence, whizzing past emerald colored pastures and hardworking ranchers working their properties. Every now and again he beeped his horn and waved at a friend. He never got tired of the awesome Texas landscape – the raw beauty of the land always called out to him. It was in his blood – in the very fabric of his DNA.
“She does live far out from town,” Marissa noted as they passed several ranches where horses galloped gracefully in their paddocks and livestock leisurely chewed their cud. “We're not too far from the Jackson’s ranch,” she noted as a big L shape perched on top of a wide set of gates came into sight in the distance.
“We make the turn right up here,” Matt said as he navigated the fork in the road and drove a quarter of a mile down a country road called the Abilene Trail. As they reached a small white house with green shutters, Matt took a moment to take in the familiar surroundings. For him, this place always felt like home. That's what Aurelia had done for him, he realized. She'd given him a home when no one else would. And she'd filled it with love, massive amounts of down home cooking and humble goodness. He was a better man for it.
As he turned the car's engine off he realized Marissa was sitting next to him like a statue, her face a frozen mask of fear. She turned towards him, eyes wide with dread, her face filled with anxiety as she twisted a piece of her dress between her fingers.
“Do we have to get out of the car?” she asked. She looked so small and vulnerable sitting next to him in her Sunday best, her beautiful face marred by worry. Her pink lips were trembling with fear, and he so desperately wanted to kiss away her concern.
In that moment he wanted to scoop her up in his arms and kiss all of her fears away. It would be slow and easy; This time he'd take his time with her, kissing all her fears away until he knew her lips by heart. Feeling uncomfortable, he unloosened his tie, along with the top few buttons of his dress shirt. Hadn’t he decided that kissing Marissa wasn’t a particularly good idea?
“Aren’t the two of you coming inside for a spell?” The sound of Aurelia's voice interrupted his thoughts about Marissa, making him feel a little ashamed of himself.
She was standing on her front porch, all four foot ten inches of her, wearing a floral going to church dress, a festive hat and a red and white apron emblazoned with the words, “Kiss me...before I get any older.” He felt a rush of feeling flow through him at the sight of her. He jumped out of the car and bounded towards her, lifting her petite figure into his arms and off her feet so he could swing her around.
Aurelia had her salt and pepper hair wrapped up in a bun and her cafe au lait complexion was dotted with freckles and age spots. She wore tiny spectacles that made her eyes look like big marbles. A delighted grin lit up her face. In his opinion, she was simply beautiful.
“Put me down, Matt. I'm not a spring chicken anymore. Old women like me can't take all those spins and whirls.” He immediatel
y placed her back on the ground and leaned down so he could plant a big kiss on her forehead. “That's more like it, sugar,” Aurelia said with a laugh. He handed her the indecently large bouquet of flowers, chuckling with laughter as she asked, “What funeral home did you swipe these from?”
Aurelia looked towards the car, then pointed towards where Marissa continued to sit in the passenger seat. “Isn't she coming inside?”
Slowly, Marissa stepped out of the car and joined him and Aurelia on the front porch. Her features were pinched and tight, and she was walking in slow, uncertain steps. The little smile she'd plastered on her face looked plastic and unnatural. There was no warmth radiating from her at all. If he'd learned anything at all about Marissa so far it was that she was, by nature, a genuine, loving woman.
“Nice of you to join us,” Aurelia said with a gentle smile. “It's mighty special to have two guests for dinner instead of one.”
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Jenkins.” She held out a trembling hand for Aurelia to shake.
“You're coming to Sunday dinner, girl,” Aurelia said with a frown. “Handshakes are not allowed.” Aurelia pulled her into her arms and embraced her tightly, squeezing her arms reassuringly as she pulled away from her. “I reckon nothing beats a hug.”
For the first time since she'd discovered that they were having Sunday dinner with Aurelia, Matt witnessed a genuine, heartbreakingly beautiful smile break out on Marissa's face. She looked relieved. And gorgeous.
“Well, let's not stand outside flapping our gums while I have biscuits in the oven,” Aurelia advised as she ushered them into her house.
Once they stepped inside the smell of down-home Texas cooking wafted through the house, providing a tantalizing preview of the meal Aurelia had prepared. Aurelia had festively decorated her dining room table with her best Lenox China, cutlery and glassware. In the middle of the table was a heaping basket of Granny Smith apples. Matt smiled as she caught sight of them. Since he'd always eaten apples by the dozens, Aurelia had always made sure there was a basket full of apples on the table for him to munch on.
Guarding Her Heart (Guardians Inc. Book 1) Page 8
