“Good to see you, Graham. Hope you have a pleasant visit.”
Graham was still trying to formulate an answer when he saw the coach’s eyes light up at the sight of someone in the distance. Graham turned and stared, realizing it was a police officer when the man was a little closer and he could see his uniform and the shiny flash of a badge. What he hadn’t expected was for the coach to take off in a hurry to meet the man.
“That’s Jenner. He has graciously volunteered to organize the event for your speech while the lecture halls are under renovation.”
Graham absently nodded as he watched, a funny feeling in his stomach. As the two men walked off, there was a familiarity that had his gaydar pinging. But that couldn’t be right. Coach McIntosh was straight. Hell, he’d been considered a lady-killer when Graham was here.
“Come along. I’ll show you to the apartments. We’ll pass the auditorium, so you will know where that is for tomorrow morning.”
Graham shook his head, pushing the unwanted thoughts to the back of his mind. He was here to give his lecture and then get home to Jeremy. He just wanted this all over with. He’d had no idea being here was going to affect him so strongly and just wanted to go home.
He followed William, nodding when the president pointed out the large auditorium. He just caught the coach and Jenner entering before the door shut. What they were doing in there, Graham didn’t even want to guess.
He had to stop once when William yelled at some boys roughhousing.
“Bryan! Paul! I told you boys to stop that! Connor, go clean up.”
They continued on, William shaking his head.
“Those boys are going to be the death of me.”
Graham chuckled. “There are always a few in each school year.” Graham had endured his share; however, unlike Connor, who looked as if he could hold his own, Graham had taken the brunt of the pranks and bullying.
When they reached the building, William stopped and handed a key to Graham.
“You’re in 2B. I took the liberty of stocking the fridge when I got the confirmation e-mail that you would be arriving. Since you have already been here, I assume you know the apartments are furnished. There are fresh sheets and towels. If you need anything else, don’t hesitate to give me a call.”
Graham shook hands with the president and then entered the building. He made his way up the worn stairs and keyed himself into apartment 2B. Looking around, he saw the shabby condition of the furniture, the drab walls, and the overall run-down look of the place. But it was enough. He wouldn’t be here after tomorrow anyway. He dumped his duffel on the couch and headed to go take a shower and wash off the slight jet lag.
GRAHAM SAT on the edge of the bed in nothing but a towel, his cell phone in his hand. What he’d done in the shower over thoughts of Coach McIntosh made him nauseated. He needed to call Jeremy but was hesitant. Jeremy knew Graham had gone to this college, knew he hadn’t looked forward to coming and why. Jeremy just didn’t know about the crush Graham had harbored when he was a student here. A crush that was still very much alive.
He dialed and waited for his lover to answer the phone.
“Hey, you. How was your plane ride?”
As Jeremy’s voice washed over Graham, he relaxed. Despite his feelings for the coach, he loved Jeremy with all his heart and always would. They chatted for a bit, then hung up when Graham began to yawn. As always, they ended with their usual “I love yous.”
Graham could do this. He just needed to ignore the coach, get through his lecture, and head home to his family and Jeremy.
GRAHAM HEADED into the cafeteria, memories of a different time assaulting him at the sight of the young crowd. He grabbed some breakfast, keeping it light since his nerves were jumping. With tray in hand, he looked around for an empty table, only to startle when someone clapped him on the shoulder.
“Come on, you can sit with me and Jenner.”
Graham’s heart thundered, but he followed Aiden, forcing himself not to glance at the man’s ass. He’d done enough of that five years ago. He set his tray down and nodded at the officer. He was a good-looking man and was dressed casually today, without his uniform.
“Jenner, this is Graham Hamlin. He used to be a student here.”
Graham wanted to beat a hasty retreat when Jenner eyed him so intently. No matter how confident he’d grown in the years since he attended college, he could never shake the feelings of guilt and nervousness around authority figures, even if he had nothing to feel guilty or nervous about. He had no clue what was going through the man’s head. Had he noticed Graham’s nervousness around the coach? Had he given himself away?
“Nice to meet you, Graham. Did you play football for Aiden?”
Graham had sat down and just taken a bite of toast. He nearly choked as he tried to swallow quickly and answer Jenner’s question. After managing to clear his throat with a swallow of water, he wiped his eyes and looked at Jenner, carefully keeping his gaze away from the coach.
“No, I was pretty small back then. Not like I am now.”
“I think I would have remembered if you’d played ball for me. Seems I do remember you hanging with a couple of my players, though.”
Graham finally turned to look at Aiden. “No, I didn’t hang with them. They tortured me the whole time I was here. They were part of the reason I left.”
“What was the other reason?”
Graham sucked in a breath, not expecting Jenner to catch that and ask so bluntly. He couldn’t answer, since the reason was sitting between them right now. “Just needed a change.” He mumbled that, looking everywhere but at the two of them. This was beyond humiliating, and all Graham wanted to do was get back to Jeremy.
“I get it. That’s why I came here. After the fiasco with Larry, I needed a change too. Now I’ve met Aiden, I’m glad I came.”
Graham jerked his head back up to stare at Jenner. “Excuse me?” No way did the officer mean what Graham thought he meant. Aiden McIntosh was straight! He had to be, because Graham didn’t want to think he might have had a chance with the coach. A straight man was safe, off-limits. A gay man wasn’t, though Graham would never betray Jeremy. But to know he’d gone through such angst and pain five years ago, and it might have been for nothing? And why was he even thinking such things?
Get a grip, Hamlin.
Graham looked between the two men for a minute, working out if Jenner was insinuating they were together. He must have looked really confused, because Jenner piped up.
“Yes, Graham, we’re a couple. Is that a problem?”
Graham was shaking his head before Jenner even finished speaking. “Absolutely not! It’s just… just, Coach was straight when I was here, or at least I thought he was. And I didn’t think police officers would… be gay and out, much less have an openly acknowledged relationship. Sorry.”
The laughter from both men set Graham at ease. Maybe this wouldn’t be so hard, even though he felt a bitterness that surprised him. He’d thought himself such a fool back then, to be smitten with a teacher, a man older than himself, who probably thought of him as nothing more than a skinny, awkward boy, and who was straight anyway. Now, to learn that not only was Aiden gay, but in a relationship—the sharpness cut deep.
“If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t know I was attracted to men back then. Jenner and I have only been together for a short time. You could say he brought the gay out in me.”
“And officers can be gay and have relationships. At least for me. I don’t hide either. Sometimes it’s difficult to balance my feelings for Aiden and hostility in my precinct, but as they both mean so much to me, I work it out.”
“I’m sorry. You’ve surprised me, that’s all. I….” Graham paused. He wondered if maybe he should just confess how he’d felt back then, the crush he’d had on the coach. But it might bring to light that the man still affected him today. Not that it mattered. Aiden had Jenner, and Graham had Jeremy. But maybe they could be friends. You could never have enou
gh friends, as far as Graham was concerned.
“Go on—what were you going to say?”
Graham looked at Jenner, seeing a knowing glint in his eyes. He gave a sigh but kept his gaze on Jenner. “I used to have the hugest crush on Coach McIntosh. Enough of one that it’s the other reason I left school. The pain of caring for a man who would never care back was too much.”
Graham risked a quick look over at Aiden, only to find a stunned look on his face. He wanted to laugh. Hell, he wanted to cry for an opportunity that had never presented itself. But it was all in the past.
“I don’t know what to say….”
“There’s nothing to say. You didn’t know.”
“Graham, do you have someone in your life?”
Graham turned back to Jenner, thankful for the subject change and always eager to talk about Jeremy. The three of them spent the next hour talking, learning about each other. Graham spent a lot of that time expounding on Jeremy and his love for the man. He learned how Aiden and Jenner had met, the attraction they felt for each other, and Aiden’s initial reaction to his attraction for Jenner. They laughed over that, and Graham was surprised at how easy it was to talk to these two men. He even spoke of the pain and heartache when he and Jeremy had split for a while.
Time flew, and Graham realized he needed to go. His lecture was at 10:00 a.m., and he needed to get over to the auditorium. “It’s been great talking to you. I hope we can keep in touch.” Graham knew that was the polite thing to say, but honestly, keeping in touch with Aiden would be a chore. He didn’t know if the lusty feelings he had for the man would ever fade or go away, and he didn’t really want to deal with them. As it was, he was going to have to talk to Jeremy and be honest with his lover. Honesty that included the fact that Graham would never, ever act on any feelings he had for Aiden.
GRAHAM HAD his duffel packed and was just shaking hands with William when Aiden came up to them. Graham nodded at the coach but didn’t say anything. What was there to say? He was leaving, headed home, and Aiden would go on with his life. Graham had never been a blip on Aiden’s radar to begin with, and it was best it stay that way. Besides, how egotistical would it be for Graham to think that Aiden was attracted back, when he had Jenner?
“I’ll give you a ride to the airport.”
Graham wanted to groan, but he could hardly refuse such a kind offer. He nodded again and then followed Aiden to his car.
“I wanted to talk to you anyway.”
Uh-oh. What could the coach possibly have to say to Graham? Silence reigned for most of the trip, until Aiden finally cleared his throat.
“Jenner said something to me, and I kind of wanted to verify that.”
“What?” Graham had a vague idea what that might be and really hoped he was wrong.
“Jenner seems to think your crush on me is still very… active.”
“So what if it is?” Graham felt anger settle in his stomach. He didn’t want to be attracted to Aiden, and he certainly didn’t need the other man saying anything about it.
“Well, I just think you need to move on.”
Graham was gobsmacked. “Move on? Are you kidding? I have moved on. I moved on years ago, and now I have a man I love very much. I may be attracted to you, but it’s never going to go anywhere, and we both know it.”
Graham stared as Aiden grinned at him. Then he started laughing until tears were streaming from his face. He realized this was no different than being attracted to any other man. He was in love with Jeremy, and any attraction he felt for another was just that—attraction, and nothing more.
Graham had sobered by the time they reached the airport, and he smiled over at Aiden as they pulled up to the departure curb. “It’s been great seeing you, Coach. I hope you and Jenner have a wonderful life together.” And Graham meant every word.
“Same to you, Graham. You hold on to that man of yours. He went through a lot to be with you, and I know you appreciate everything he did.”
“I do. Look us up if you and Jenner ever show up in our neck of the woods.” They shook hands, smiling at each other as they said their good-byes, and Graham grabbed his duffel from the backseat before exiting the car. He waved and then turned to catch his flight. He couldn’t wait to see Jeremy and tell him all about his trip.
That Place Across the Hall
C.C. DADO
For TJ and Eric—
Your story has moved people as only a true love story could: moved to tears, moved to take action, and moved to believe. A community of strangers has been bound together by their hopes and prayers for you both. Whatever the future may hold, let’s go.
THERE WAS nothing worse than being woken up with a hangover by someone ringing your doorbell. As I got up, I felt the warm body of last night’s sexcapades lying next to me. Ugh, I hate hooking up with a guy who doesn’t know the basic rules of a one-night stand. I mean, have some fucking common courtesy and sneak out before I wake up. Fucking amateurs….
I tried to get my bearings as I walked over to murder whoever would not lay off my buzzer. After grabbing my jeans off the floor of my sparsely furnished apartment, I stumbled over to the door while trying to put them on, not bothering to button them or grab a shirt.
As I opened the door just enough for the chain to catch, I saw it was Brandon from across the hall. Fuck, not now. I’d lived in this building for six months, and Brandon was my one-man welcoming committee, baking me things and inviting me to neighborhood block parties. He was like June Cleaver with a penis. Not that he was effeminate or anything. He just happened to be really good at shit chicks are good at.
We were about the same age, I’m guessing—he had to be at least twenty-eight and around the same five eleven height as me—but where I was lean muscle and covered in tats, he was pretty much the exact opposite, husky and covered in polo shirts and cardigan sweaters. He always had a well-manscaped beard and wore dark-rimmed glasses, which would be crazy sexy if he wasn’t such a walking billboard for relationships. He was originally from Kentucky, I think, but he didn’t have much of an accent left. He definitely had the southern hospitality thing going on, though. And although I was a pretty easy lay if I do say so myself, I never dated guys like Brandon. Guys like him wanted to fix you and nurture you. Yeah, I’ll pass, thanks.
“Hey, Joshua,” he said, smiling at me as I unchained the door and opened it just enough to talk without him thinking he was being invited in. Why he insisted on calling me by my full name was beyond me. I stood there waiting for him to talk while he eyed me from head to button fly, trying not to be obvious and failing miserably.
“I’m sorry if I woke you. It’s, like, twelve, so I just figured you would be up. I can come back later,” he backpedaled.
“I’m awake,” I said, choosing to get this over with but trying not to initiate further conversation or notice how watching the big guy get flustered was kind of a turn-on.
“Well, I just wanted to let you know our building is having a rooftop dinner tonight, if you wanted to come up,” he said. “I know you don’t usually attend, but it’s Mr. Hanson’s birthday, so I thought you might be interested. This is a list of what people are bringing so far.” I heard some movement behind me, and from the look on Brandon’s face, my date must have gotten up and come into view.
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your company. I’ll let you go… back to, ummm, whatever.” And he shoved the list into my chest before he turned and walked away.
I stood at my door and watched Brandon make his way back to his apartment across the hall.
I’m not sure why, but that look he gave me when he saw the guy behind me left a sick feeling in my stomach. Maybe it was just the hangover. Time for some Advil and a reality check for the guy trying to make himself comfortable on my couch. A shower before I headed to work probably wouldn’t hurt either.
THE ROOFTOP party was in full effect when I got home. I could see the garden lights glowing as I pulled into my parking spot, and I could just bare
ly make out the indie folk music Brandon liked to listen to. I contemplated just heading directly to the corner bar, like I normally would when Brandon threw one of these, but it was Mr. Hanson’s birthday, and I actually did like the guy. A short appearance, and I was out.
As I headed up the staircase to the roof, I swung the bag holding the little gift I’d picked up at the gas station on the way home and chuckled. Mr. Hanson, who was turning eighty, I think, and probably shouldn’t be living alone, had a pretty good case of dementia going on. I actually took a picture of him on my phone one day just in case he got lost and I needed it for the police. There were four units in our building. Brandon and I were on the ground floor, and Mr. Hanson and Sharon were in the units above us. I was kind of grateful I lived below Mr. Hanson and not above him, since I figured one of these days he’d probably leave a candle burning, or the iron on, and burn the place down.
As I opened the rooftop door, the surroundings calmed me as they did every time I snuck up there—though usually I came after the parties, late at night when no one else was around. Brandon was a landscape architect, and the owner of the building let him do whatever he wanted up there. What he’d designed was something out of a dream, not that I would ever tell him that. It was like a secret garden surrounded by city. Everything was green and lush. He had created seating areas that blended in with the life around them, and throughout the entire place were interwoven garden beds. I could literally sit down on one of the built-in couches and reach over and pull a carrot out of the dirt. He was a genius.
This time was different, though, with the music, laughter, and the smell of food. I paused at the door, taking a moment to take it all in before someone noticed I was there. I suddenly felt hollow inside, like I was looking in on something I would never really be a part of. This was why I didn’t date guys like Brandon and stuck with one-night stands from the bar—they didn’t make you yearn for anything more than a quick release. I looked around and saw Sharon and her book club ladies drinking and talking in the corner. I acknowledged Sharon’s wave and made my way over to Mr. Hanson and his daughters. They had been trying to convince him to move in with one of them for a while now, but he hadn’t given in yet. As I made my way past some people I didn’t know, I recognized some of Brandon’s friends I had seen coming and going from his apartment. I was hoping his friend who always eyed me like I was a porterhouse steak at an all-you-can-eat meat buffet wasn’t there. If he wasn’t friends with Brandon, I might have taken him up on his offer, but for some reason that just didn’t feel right. I knew Brandon kind of had a thing for me, based on the number of baked goods I had in my cupboard.
Grand Adventures Page 10
