by Laura Gates
"Which ones? I talk a lot," Evie said.
Beau chuckled. "I know. That's one of the reasons I love you. It was after we kissed for the first time. You said that if we continued, there was no going back. That would be it for you. Well, I'm all in, Babe. I want you, all three of you. I'm not saying we have to get married tomorrow or within the next month, but I do see us moving forward toward that. I see us getting married maybe in a couple of years, me adopting the kids, and having our own. The question is, has your mind changed since we started dating? Have you thought about our future?"
Evie looked into Beau's eyes; those lidded, blue, almond-shaped eyes she knew so well and who knew her. Beau was the love of her life, but commitment scared her still.
"Babe, you've been quiet for a while. I'm a little worried now," Beau said.
Evie chuckled. "Sorry. I was thinking. The answer is I'm on the same page as you with our relationship. I can see us getting married within that time frame as well, maybe another kid with a huge emphasis on maybe, and you adopting Levi and Harper, but you know how commitment scares me."
"I know. That's another reason I haven't brought it up because I didn't want to freak you out."
Evie continued to process the conversation. She knew how committed, loving, protective, and caring Beau was to her and the kids. Harper called Beau "Daddy" once, and no one corrected her. She called him that ever since. Levi always asked when Beau would be his dad. As Evie continued processing everything that was said, she looked up into Beau's eyes, and serenity swept through her frame. He was the love of her life.
"Okay," she said.
Beau's eyes grew wide. "Okay?" he asked for reassurance.
"Okay. Let's move in together," Evie said.
Beau kissed her. They hugged for a while. "So, when should we move in?" Evie asked. "Why not today?" Beau asked. Evie laughed. "Don't we need to figure out what to keep of mine and what to keep of yours?" Beau paused.
He didn't realize all the stuff there was to go through. "Well, what do you want to keep of yours?" Beau asked. Evie thought for a moment about the stuff she wanted to keep and what she wanted to give away. "Well," she began, "I really like my sectional, and I think you do, too." Beau nodded his head in agreement. "I want to keep the TV in my room and put it in your room, keep my bed and bedding, all of the kids' belongings, my crockpot, and that's about it," Evie concluded. "So, what are we keeping of mine?" Beau asked. "Your TV in the living room, your dishes, cookware, your Instapot, and pretty much everything I didn't mention," Evie said.
"Works for me. So do you want me to hire movers to arrange everything?" Beau asked. Evie nodded. "All right. I will call them. I can oversee what they put in the house and take out. What should we do with the stuff we don't want?"
"What about The Struggle Ends charity Death Toll is doing?" Evie asked.
"Oh yeah! I forgot about that. Sure, I will take care of everything." Beau grabbed his phone and looked up movers. He called the best ones and made all the arrangements while Evie went to Beau's room and the kids' rooms to gather all their stuff to take over to Beau's house.
Evie was excited to be living in a house again. She loved his home. It was huge, but she loved the location, which was near a bunch of hiking trails. It was far away from all of the noise of San Francisco, but very close to the studio. She loved the vaulted ceilings and the kitchen. She noticed that her style was a bit more modern, considering Phoebe had decorated it more cabin chic. Evie liked contemporary farmhouse chic, but she knew Beau wouldn't care about the house decor.
Evie loaded the stuff and the kids in the car and drove to Beau's house. She couldn't believe it was her house now. On the way, Levi asked, "Mommy, have you found a house yet?" Evie smiled. "Yes, we are on our way now. It's a surprise," she said, hoping her kids would be excited about their new house. "Are we living by Beau?" Harper asked in broken toddler language. Evie smiled again. "You will see," she responded.
Evie pulled up into the available slot in Beau's big garage with his hot rods and car collection. "Mom, I don't get it. We are at Beau's house," Levi said as Evie opened the door for him. "Well, I told you we were going to our new home, and we are at Beau's house," Evie said, trying to help Levi solve the puzzle. Levi thought for a moment. "So, is Beau's house our home?" he asked. Evie nodded her head. "Where will Beau live?" Harper asked. "We are living with him since we needed a place to live," Evie replied, smiling.
It took a couple more minutes, but the kids eventually grinned. "Is Beau finally going to be my dad?" Levi asked, very excited. Evie hesitated. "Do you want him to be?" Evie asked. "Yes, I do," Levi said. "Then ask him tonight. I know he would love that," Evie said.
Meanwhile, Beau was at Evie's storage unit, pointing at all the things he and Evie discussed they would give to Death Toll's charity. Beau gave a list of furniture and items from his house for the movers to take to the charity. He was very excited to begin this new chapter in his life with Evie and the kids.
Suddenly, a gut-wrenching thought came to his mind; Chloe and Cordell's rooms were untouched since they passed, and Beau new their rooms would be way better for Levi and Harper since they were in the same wing as his room. When he got home from the tour, Beau was finally able to sleep in the master bedroom again, but he wasn't sure if he could go through his kids' belongings after all these months. He quickly pulled out his phone and called Evie.
"Hey, Hon! What's up?" Evie answered.
"The movers have everything under control. I'm on my way home. Could you meet me outside Chloe's room?" he asked.
Evie paused. "Are you sure?" she asked.
"Yeah, I'm sure," he said.
"All right. I will see you in about fifteen minutes?" Evie asked.
"Yeah. Love you! Bye," Beau said.
"Love you! Bye," Evie said.
Beau put his phone back in his pocket. He gave the list to the man in charge, climbed into his brand new Tesla that he bought after the first leg of the tour was over, and began driving home. His thoughts wandered to Phoebe and his kids. He tried to remember the happy times instead of the pain their deaths had caused him. As he drove home, Evie made a simple dinner, put it in the oven, and set the kids up with a movie. She began walking up the stairs into the wing Beau lived in with his family. Evie could feel their presence there, and she knew this whole thing would be hard for Beau.
Soon, she heard Beau walking up the stairs. He looked very melancholy, and Evie hugged and kissed him. He was so grateful she was there to make this whole experience bearable for him. "You ready?" she asked. Beau nodded as he reached for Chloe's door and opened it.
Inside was a white twin bed with all sorts of pink and lace on it. The white dresser had all kinds of ballet decor on top lying down next to some hair accessories. Her ballet shoes hung over the bed. Dolls and toys were overflowing the bins. Her pajamas were still on her bed from the last night she slept in the room. Beau walked over to Chloe's bed, grabbed her pajamas, hugged them, and sat down on the bed. Tears filled his eyes as he buried his face into the pajama shirt. Tears filled Evie's eyes as she watched Beau mourn his daughter. Evie walked into the room, sat down on the bed next to him, and put her arm around him.
Beau laid his head down in Evie's lap, holding the shirt against his face. It still smelled like his sweet Chloe. He remembered how happy, kind, and smart she was. He remembered going with Phoebe to Chloe's ballet classes. He loved watching her dance. He missed his little girl so much.
"Beau," Evie began not knowing what to say. She rubbed his shoulder. Beau cleared his sniffles. "What?" he said. "Why did you want to come in here?" she asked. "Because it's time to move on with life. I need to deal with these emotions so I can move on with life," Beau concluded. "Are you saying you want to give Levi or Harper Chloe's room?" she asked. Beau nodded. "We can continue living in the other wing," Evie said.
Beau shook his head. "No, it's time," he said with tears and a raspy voice. "I just wish I knew what to do to help you," Evie said, trying not to s
tart sobbing herself. Beau quickly sat up, looked Evie in the eyes, and caressed her face. "You have done more than you know," Beau said, "I am so grateful that you let me into your life and the kids' lives. All three of you have been the best therapy for me. Yes, I am sad, but look up at those," Beau said, pointing to Chloe's ballet shoes. Evie turned around to look at the point shoes on the wall. "Things like these are filled with so many wonderful memories. I think Chloe understands that two other little kids need a father to watch them grow up and teach them how to live their best lives," Beau concluded.
Evie, with tears in her eyes, smiled and hugged Beau. She turned back to look at the ballet shoes. "I think we should keep those," she said, pointing at the point shoes. "I agree," Beau said, smiling with watery eyes, "what do you think about the bed frame and dresser? Do you think Harper would like this room?"
"I think she will love the room, the bed frame, and the dresser," Evie said. Beau and Evie hugged again. Evie stood up and grabbed the ballet shoes off the wall, and gave them to Beau. "Where would you like those?" she asked. "I have a special box of items I keep that remind me of Phoebe and my kids. I will put these in it," Beau said. "That's awesome. I will make sure we never get rid of that box," Evie said.
After deciding more thoroughly about what to keep of Chloe's, Beau and Evie moved onto Cordell's room. The process wasn't any easier for Beau as he sorted through Cordell's belongings. There were a lot of balls, trucks, and giant Lego blocks in the various toy bins. His bedding followed the theme of the room, as well. Beau decided to keep Cordell's baby blanket because Cordell walked around with it everywhere. Since the room was the same size as Chloe's, Beau and Evie decided to keep the espresso bed frame and matching dresser inside for Levi.
As the movers came through and boxed up everything to take it to The Struggle Ends Foundation, Evie pondered a question she had had for a while now, but couldn't find herself to ask Beau. Are we the replacements, she thought to herself. She shrugged it off, and continued comforting Beau.
After everyone moved in, ate dinner, and the kids were in bed, Evie finally mustered enough courage to ask Beau the question. They were sitting on Evie's massive sectional watching Beau's show when Evie decided it was the right time.
"Beau?"
"Yeah?"
Evie hesitated, but finally went on, "I've often wondered if the kids and I replaced your family. Is this what it is?"
Beau turned off the TV and faced Evie. "No, not at all," he replied, "I wasn't expecting my life to go this way at all. I consider you and the kids blessings. I think God and even Phoebe knew how much I needed you. I don't think you realize what an angel you have been to me in my life."
"I just took a job originally and tried to work as hard as I could, but I didn't think I helped you at all with those early months. I was just a huge nag," Evie said.
"Even when you were the 'huge nag,' as you called yourself," Beau said with a chuckle, "you said a lot of things that made me rethink my life choices. I remember when we went to Nole's plaque, you said something interesting that I've never forgotten. There are lots of those, by the way," Beau said, laughing again.
"What was that?" Evie asked, smiling.
"That my mom and Nole were watching over me during all those accidents I had during the early years. I now believe Phoebe joined the team when she died, and all three of them sent you and the kids to me because they knew I needed an angel with me," Beau said.
Evie digested his words and smiled. "I've had a lot of those thoughts as well," she said, "and I believe it was no coincidence that I moved here." Beau smiled, feeling happy that Evie agreed with him. They hugged each other. "Sorry, your first night home was an intense one," Beau said. "It's okay. I am glad I was here to help you, and I'm glad I'm here with you," Evie said. Beau wrapped his arms around Evie, pulling her back down on the couch before he turned the movie back on. They fell asleep ten minutes later, where they stayed the night.
Chapter 19
The AMA’s and No Roadblocks
The album, Death Toll, was up for Best Metal Performance AMA. It wasn't just one song that stood out in the record, but the whole album itself. Beau, Luke, Kade, and Rick were all ecstatic about this accomplishment. Death Toll, or the "Dark Album" as fans and band members began to call it because of the dark artwork on the cover, had sold well over 500,000 copies in the opening week, and now had sold almost two million copies since the first leg of the tour ended. When Evie got the phone call that Death Toll was up for an AMA, she ran into the studio where the guys were and put the phone on speaker so they could all hear the conversation. They were all so happy. They were even asked to perform at the award show.
The AMA's would mark almost one year since Beau and Evie began dating. She and the kids had been living with Beau for five months. Levi was at the top of his class in first grade, and Harper was thriving at preschool. Beau thought about proposing to Evie as their first anniversary approached. Still, he hesitated to do so because every time he made a suggestion to take their relationship to the next step, Evie freaked out. Sure, they talked about the future, but not enough to get the ball rolling.
The night of the AMA's arrived, and all of the producers rode in one limo. Kade and Laila rode in another limo, Rick and Kaylee rode in another limo, Luke and Jetta rode in another limo, and Beau and Evie rode in the last limo. Evie made sure they all had on their best suits. Beau even made arrangements for a designer to come and design a gown for Evie. She wore a blush-colored mermaid strapless dress with a subtle sweetheart neckline, sequins across the neckline, and sequins speckled all over the dress. Her hair was pulled up into a low updo. She had been hounded by paparazzi before, but she was more nervous than she had ever been.
The limousine pulled up to the red carpet, and cameras began going off. A doorman opened the car door. Beau scooted out first, waved to the people, and turned back to the car to help Evie get out. She did not know how a woman gracefully climbed out of limos at award shows in ballgowns. Feeling like a monkey crawling on the ground, she climbed out of the car. Every single camera caught her ungraceful moment. She waved at the crowd and smiled, trying to be gracious.
Beau and Evie proceeded to walk up the red carpet. Eventually, they came to Nancy O'Dell of Entertainment Tonight. "And here we have Beau Halstead of Death Toll and his lovely partner and tour manager, Evie Long. Beau, what are you anticipating for tonight?" she asked. "Well, we are performing, and someone will take home the AMA for Best Metal Performance. We are just happy to be here, that our artistry is being celebrated, and I get to share this moment with Evie," Beau said, turning to look at Evie. She blushed.
"And Evie," Nancy shifted the conversation. Evie froze. "You are absolutely glamorous in that dress. Who are you wearing tonight?" Nancy asked. "I honestly have no idea. A guy came, took measurements and coloring, and then made me this dress. Two weeks later, it was dropped off at the house," Evie said, looking up at Beau to see if he knew the designer. "Valentino," he whispered in her ear. "Oh, Valentino," Evie said before turning back to Beau and whispered, "Really?" Nancy looked underwhelmed by Evie's speech. Evie felt a little deflated.
"So, you're living together now?" Nancy asked, trying to make things interesting again. Beau smiled and put his arm around Evie's shoulders. "Happily, I might add. And may I just say to her ex…." Evie covered his mouth before he could finish. "You know, Nancy, we are thrilled to be here. The band, especially Beau, has come a long way since those dark days. I am sure they will not disappoint the audience and viewers from all over the country," Evie said. "All right, thank you both for being here. We look forward to your performance," Nancy concluded. Evie grabbed Beau's hand and pulled him along.
“Why wouldn’t you let me finish…?” Beau started.
“Because you’re a grown-ass man, and the kids are watching this,” Evie interrupted, “I don’t want to give Jude any more fire, power, or control than what he already has.”
Oops, Beau realized. “Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.
”
“Good thing you’re dating your tour manager,” Evie joked, "and you're forgiven."
There were cameras all over the place as they proceeded across the red carpet into the Staples Center in Los Angeles. Evie wasn’t sure how many people took pictures of the spat, but she didn’t really care. That’s real life, she thought to herself. She recognized a few reporters from MTV and VH1. She saw cameramen from all national broadcasting stations. She tried to stay calm and be gracious. The dress pinched around her chest, and she questioned whether or not she would be able to wear it all night. Her feet were beginning to hurt, but she bared it well. She knew she would spend the majority of the night sitting in the arena.
Evie saw all sorts of performers, entertainers, and musicians she never dreamed or thought she would meet. She saw Axl Rose, Jon Bon Jovi, Paul McCartney, Slash, Brian Johnson, Flea, Robert Plant, and many others she was excited to see. Then there were a few others who were more mainstream that she didn't really care for.
Former lead guitarist of Death Toll, Daniel, approached Beau and Evie. "Beau! Hey!" Daniel said. The men shook hands before Daniel turned to Evie. "It is nice to meet you," he said, holding out his hand. She took it, and they shook hands.
Evie knew that he was undergoing cancer treatments for his throat, so she graciously asked, "How are you feeling, Daniel?"
"Oh, you know, taking one day at a time. I haven't lost my hair yet, and my doctors reassure me I am going to make a full recovery," he said.
