“I’ll look forward to hearing from you then. In the meantime, would you like to meet the children?”
Annie’s smile faltered and she snapped it firmly back into place. “I would enjoy meeting them.”
Mrs. Gwenneg nodded once and led the way from the room.
Annie followed her up the staircase in the hall and around a heavy wooden banister to a bright room on the front of the house. Annie realized she was standing inside the cupola. The circular room was lined with desks, the floor scattered with children’s toys. A girl sat in a window seat, her knees drawn up to her chest and her face buried in a book. She glanced up when Mrs. Gwenneg entered. Two small boys played in a corner with a set of Lincoln Logs. Another girl rocked a baby doll in a tiny baby bed.
“Let me introduce you to my nieces and nephews.” She indicated the girl in the window seat. “This is Ava. She’s ten. Next is Danny. He’s eight. Then Ezra, who’s six.” She waved at the little girl by the toy doll bed. “Then little Vivian, who’ll be four next month.”
The children stared without moving. Annie found their emotionless faces disconcerting. She forced a smile.
“Children, where are your manners?” Mrs. Gwenneg’s stern face finally spurred them to move. Ava stood and curtseyed and the boys came forward and shook hands. Only little Vivian refused to move.
“This is Miss Petit. I’ve interviewed her to be your new governess.”
“You mean the governess Father doesn’t want,” said Ava. Her toneless words were at odds with the disrespect they contained.
Mrs. Gwenneg frowned. “Ava, you need to watch your attitude.”
“It’s true. He’s only getting a governess because you told him he had to.”
“He’s getting a governess because it’s in your best interest.”
“Well, I wish you’d have tried to get him to let us go back to school. That’s what I really want. Not some woman coming every day to try to teach us nonsense.” The girl spun on her heel and marched out of the room.
A small hand gripped Annie’s. She looked down into Ezra’s smiling face. “I think you’re pretty, Miss Pet.”
“It’s Petit, Ezra.”
Annie squeezed his fingers. “It’s okay. My name isn’t easy. You’ll learn it.”
Not to be left out, Vivian stood and crossed the room to take Annie’s other hand. “Do you want to see my baby?” she whispered.
Annie glanced at the doll in the toy crib.
“Not that baby,” said Vivian. “Come.”
She pulled Annie and Ezra through a side door into another room filled with beds. Next to the hall door stood a cradle with a tiny, sleeping baby. Annie had never seen such a beautiful baby. Long lashes fanned across rosy cheeks. Blonde tousled ringlets covered its head. The baby puckered its lips in its sleep, revealing a dimple in each cheek. Annie longed to kiss those tiny dimples.
“That’s Darren,” whispered Ezra. “He’s our baby now that Mama died.”
“Such a big name for such a little baby,” Annie whispered back.
The baby stirred. Annie led the two children back to the nursery.
“Say goodbye to Miss Petit, children,” said Mrs. Gwenneg.
“Must you leave?” asked Vivian.
Annie crouched to her level. “Yes. My mama needs me to help with the laundry. But I think I’ll be back again before long.”
The little girl threw her arms around Annie’s neck. A moment later, Ezra joined her.
Annie felt her heart break a tiny bit as she disentangled herself from the children and followed Mrs. Gwenneg back down the stairs.
“They do know how to lay on the guilt, don’t they?” said Mrs. Gwenneg with a chuckle. “It’s good they liked you. They can be a handful if they don’t.”
“Don’t they like you?” asked Annie.
“It comes and goes. I’ve been with them through a nightmare no child should endure. I think Ava and Danny know it isn’t my fault, but they have no one else to lash out at in their grief. Their father isn’t around much and he’s so frightened he’ll lose them too that he’s keeping them cooped up in the house all the time.”
“Was he against the idea of a governess?” Annie was afraid to ask, but she didn’t want to push in where she wasn’t welcome.
“He is against the idea of anything new or foreign in his home. Ava is correct. The children would be better off in school. But since he won’t allow it, a governess is the next best thing.”
“More than anything, I want to teach the children,” said Annie. “I think my mama will agree to it, but I can’t make any promises until I ask. I’ll bring the references if I’m able to take the position.”
“Of course, my dear. That will work perfectly. I’ll look forward to hearing from you one way or the other in the next day or two.”
Annie hurried home knowing she’d left a small piece of her heart upstairs in the Winslow’s nursery.
∞
Annette Petit dropped into the kitchen chair when she heard how much Annie would earn as a governess. “Who has that much money?” she gasped.
“It would help, wouldn’t it?” Annie asked, unsure how to interpret her mother’s response.
“Aye, it would help.”
“Can you spare me?”
“Can I spare you? I’d be silly to refuse you the chance. And you say the children are well behaved?”
“They’re children, Mama. They were well behaved when I was there, but I’m sure they aren’t like that every minute of the day.”
“Let’s hope they aren’t hellions. When do you start?”
“We haven’t set a day yet. I haven’t even told them I’d take the job.”
“Why ever not? They make that kind of offer and you don’t snap it up?”
Annie covered her mother’s hand where it rested on the table. “I wanted to check with you first, Mama. You count on me with the laundry and I didn’t want to let you down.”
“And we’d be able to take in that much less laundry, don’t you know. Not that I want to take advantage of your earnings. But we’d scrape by okay, even if I had to do less in a day. You run yourself right back over there before dark and tell them you’ll take the job.”
“Mama, I told them I wouldn’t come before tomorrow at the soonest. Let’s finish this batch of sheets and I can go first thing in the morning.”
Annette pushed out of her chair and walked around the table. She swept Annie up into a hug. “I’m proud of you. You made it through school and found a job teaching in spite of the odds.”
“Thank you, Mama. That means a lot to me.” Annie hugged her mother back. Mama’s displays of affection and emotion were rare.
Annette stepped back and the hug stopped as suddenly as it began. “Enough of that,” she said with a loud sniff. “These sheets won’t wash themselves.”
Chapter Four
Coren Winslow stared at the column of names and ailments in his ledger without seeing them. Sarah had always taken care of the paperwork. He’d give her the name of the patient he’d seen, their ailment, and the medicine he’d prescribed for it. She’d write it in neat columns of perfect script. Coren ran his finger over one of the lines of writing again and again. How he missed her.
A light tap on the office door finally pulled his attention back to reality. His sister, Kathryn, pushed open the door.
“Would you like some tea? It’s hours past supper and I don’t think you ate again tonight.” She set the teacup on the table in front of him, made how he liked it, strong and black.
Coren took a sip of the hot liquid. He felt his mind getting lost in the thoughts that plagued him whenever he was home. He rubbed his face. “I’m not hungry, Kat. I’ll pass. Besides, I doubt there was much left after Danny and Ezra got through.”
“I saved a big piece of the chicken pie for you. It’s in the kitchen. Do you want me to bring it?”
Coren heaved a sigh and shoved himself away from his desk. “No, I’ll eat it in there. I’m finished here for the night
.”
Kathryn followed him to the kitchen and fussed with the plate she’d set aside for him. Coren sank into a chair at the table and took another sip of his tea.
“I’m sorry I lost track of time and didn’t eat with you and the children,” Coren said.
“They need you, Coren. They lost their mama, and their papa is never around. It’s like they lost both parents that night.”
“At least they have you, Kat. What would I do without you?”
“I’m not sure, but I suspect you’re going to find out soon.”
Coren frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve been with you the better part of the last nine months. I have my own husband and family to care for, but I live with you and care for yours. Meanwhile, you let yourself rot away in that office when you’re home and never take time for your children. Sarah wouldn’t have wanted it this way.”
“I’m sure Sarah didn’t want a lot of things. I’m sure she didn’t want to die.” Coren felt the heat rising in his face. He barely contained the anger seething under the surface.
“Sit back down and drink that tea. I’m not trying to fight with you.” Kathryn plunked the plate of food in front of Coren and returned to the sink.
“I hired a governess for the children today.” Kathryn kept her back to her brother as she spoke.
“I told you I didn’t want a stranger coming in here, Kat. How dare you go behind my back and do this?”
Kathryn whirled to face him. “How dare I? How dare I? How dare you neglect those five beautiful children your wife gave you? How dare you wallow in your grief and forget they’re grieving, too? How dare you stop me when all I’m doing is trying to see to their care within the parameters you’ve given? You won’t let me send them to school. The only other option is a governess.”
“They read all the time. I’m sure their education is sufficient. I don’t want a stranger in my house.”
“If you don’t let this governess teach your children, I’m leaving tomorrow.”
Coren jumped to his feet, his face red, eyes flashing. “You wouldn’t dare leave me in the lurch like that.”
Kathryn crossed the room until she was nose to nose with her brother. “Refuse the governess and see if I don’t.”
Coren stared at his sister daring her, their eyes locked in silent battle until he relented and dropped back into his chair.
He scrubbed both hands over his face. “What if she doesn’t watch them and something happens to one of them?”
Kathryn turned back to the sink with an unladylike snort. “She’ll be watching them a sight more than you do, Coren. I really do have to get back to my family. If I left now, those children would be completely unsupervised. She’ll be good to them, I think. Ezra and Viv took to her right away. I think Danny will come around. We’ll have to see what happens with Ava.”
“She’s already met the children?”
“Of course. I couldn’t exactly hire her if they didn’t get on with each other.”
Coren pushed the food around on his plate. “What’s her name?”
“Annalise Petit. She completed her teaching certificate earlier this year. She brought her certificate. I got the impression she had to work hard for it. She looks older than most teachers fresh out of school.”
“What took her so long?” said Coren shooting a scowl at his sister’s back. “Is she slow?”
Kathryn whirled to face her brother again, eyes flashing. “That’ll be enough of that. I’ll have you know, she’s one of the sweetest women I’ve ever met. Her family was hit hard by the Depression. She’d been working with her mother these last few years and getting her certificate on the side. If that isn’t dedication to a goal, I don’t know what is.”
“She’d better follow my rules if she wants to keep her job.”
Kathryn rolled her eyes. “I hope she breaks every one of your nonsensical rules, Coren.”
Coren slammed his fork onto the table hard enough his empty teacup rattled. “That’s it. I don’t have to sit here and listen to another of your lectures about how I’m raising my children the wrong way.” He shoved the chair under the table harder than necessary and strode from the room.
“I’m going to have her start Monday,” Kathryn called to his retreating back.
∞
Coren stepped into the room where his children slept and waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. Ava was almost old enough for her own room. Coren knew Sarah would have put her in one of the other bedrooms already. But Coren wanted her here, in the room next to his, where he could watch over all of the children and be close if they needed him at night.
He sank into the rocking chair next to the baby’s bed, careful not to let it creak. He sat and watched all of them breathe. Danny’s arm was thrown over his head. Ezra slept at the end of the bed, instead of at the head of it. Vivian sprawled on top of her blankets, a doll tucked under each arm.
And Darren…Coren stared at his infant son until he’d lost track of how long he’d been sitting there. The tiny boy twitched and moved in his sleep. His face wrinkled as if he would cry, then smoothed out. Could he be dreaming? What did babies dream about?
Coren watched the children sleep until he began to feel drowsy. He pushed out of the chair, careful of the creak, and slipped through the adjoining door into his own bedroom. He readied for bed as quickly as he could and slipped between the blankets. His last thought before he drifted to sleep, and after he’d prayed for every one of his children, was to beg God for sleep.
Sarah lay in this very bed. She reached for him, begged him to help her, to give her the baby. She screamed at him. She accused him of hating her. Coren sank to his knees next to his wife and sobbed into the coverlet.
“I love you!” he cried to her.
“If you love me, you’ll do something to help me!” she screamed back.
“I’ve done all I can do.”
“It’s not enough,” she said, and turned from him.
She began to slide off the bed into the abyss on the far side. Coren scrambled across the bed after her. He tried to grab her arm, her hand, her leg, anything to stop her falling. But it was too late. Coren slid off the bed into the abyss. There was nothing he could do to help either of them.
Coren jerked awake, aware he’d been calling out in his sleep. He rolled onto his side, fully aware he’d only slept an hour or two. Waves of remorse and anguish washed over him. And rage. Wave after wave of rage. How could a loving God take away the mother of his children and leave him alone? Why wouldn’t that same loving God let him sleep at night?
Coren shoved his way out of bed. He pulled on his trousers and tromped downstairs, too angry to care if he woke anyone. He threw himself onto the couch in his office and tried to go back to sleep. If past experience was any indication, it was a hopeless endeavor. To his relief, and as if on cue, the phone on the desk began to ring. Coren jumped up to answer it.
“Dr. Winslow?” came the shaky voice on the other end of the line, “I think my wife is in labor.”
Coren asked a few questions of the first-time father. “I’ll be over as soon as I can,” he promised.
Once he’d hung up the phone, he sank again onto the couch. Births terrified him. Every time, he could see Sarah lying in bed, growing weaker with every passing minute.
Light footsteps sounded on the stairs and Kathryn appeared in the doorway. “Sleeping in the office again?” she asked.
“More like, sitting up awake in the office,” he said. “Mr. Franklin called to say his wife’s in labor. I’m headed there now.”
“I’ll be here when you get back.” Kathryn crossed to the couch, sat next to her brother and wrapped her arm around his shoulder. “You’re a good doctor. Mrs. Franklin is in good hands. She and her baby will be fine.”
“She’s not Sarah,” said Coren. He shoved away from his sister and left the room. Regret washed over him. He returned to the office. Kathryn hadn’t moved from her place by the couch. �
��I’m sorry I was so unkind to you earlier, Kat. You’ve done so much for us. You don’t deserve being treated that way.”
Surprise, then compassion flickered across Kathryn’s face. Coren didn’t wait for her response. He hurried back down the hall, grabbed his hat, and left the house.
Chapter Five
Annie knocked on the Winslow’s door for the second time in as many days. This time, instead of the nerves of the previous day, she was a bundle of excitement. For the first time in years, she allowed herself to hope that things were looking up for herself and her parents. This job was a God-send and came at the exact time they needed it.
Ava opened the door. “Oh, it’s you.”
Annie’s eyebrows shot up at the girl’s sass.
“You’d better come in. I’ll get my aunt.”
Annie found her own way to the drawing room where she waited. She heard Ava yell “Aunt Kat, that governess woman is here.”
A man’s tall frame filled the doorway, startling Annie. They regarded each other in silence. Annie suspected this was the children’s father. She felt his scrutiny as he examined her without entering the room. He was thin and gaunt, with haunted, sad eyes. He seemed to look through her instead of at her, though Annie knew he was taking in every detail and seeking to find fault.
She smiled at him and stepped forward, extending her hand. “I’m Annalise Petit. You must be Dr. Winslow.”
He glanced at her hand without seeing it. His hands, jammed deep in his trouser pockets, never moved an inch. Annie dropped her hand to her side.
“Kat says you’re certified to teach. Have you ever taken care of children before? Do you know how to watch them every minute of every day? Do you know what to do if they get hurt? But no, they won’t get hurt, because you’ll never let them out of your sight and you’ll never allow them to do anything that would cause them to get hurt.”
He hadn’t paused for air during this entire spiel. Annie stared, stunned speechless.
Mrs. Gwenneg appeared behind Dr. Winslow.
“Coren, I see you’ve met Miss Petit. I hope you haven’t said anything too shocking and scared her away.”
Loving Annie Page 2
