by Roni Loren
And that stirred something much more dangerous in her. Something she wasn’t going to stop herself from feeling but that scared her more than all the other stuff added together.
His throat bobbed. “Liv, I—”
She squeezed his hand. “Don’t. Please. I’m not telling you all this for any other reason than that I’m tired of playing it safe. I don’t want to play games with you or be coy. Here’s the truth. I loved last weekend. Hanging out. Taking pictures. Sharing a bed with you. I’ve missed you this week, and I’m sorry I didn’t call. I didn’t call because you scare me. I know you’re leaving, and it will hurt me when you do. But I’d rather have a summer with you and my friends and my camera than walk away now and never have had it happen. So here I am.” A shimmer of nerves rippled through her. “Trusting that I’m tough enough to handle it all and that my savings account will keep me afloat until I figure out what I’m going to do with my life.”
Finn pulled off on the shoulder of the road and brought their joined hands up to kiss her knuckles. “Not that you need my stamp of approval, but I am ridiculously proud of you. Here I was, dragging my feet all morning because I didn’t want to deal with an awkward visit home, and meanwhile, you were setting a bomb off in your life and going balls out with all of your worst fears. You amaze me, Olivia Arias,” he said softly. “And I missed the hell out of you this week, too.”
The words sent curls of warmth through her chest. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He leaned forward and kissed her.
She gave over to it immediately, her lips softening against his and opening, welcoming him in. His fingers slid into her hair, and he held her just where he wanted her, gentle and sweet.
When he eased back, he ran his thumb over her bottom lip and smiled. “I guess if you’re going to be ballsy enough to quit your job, I probably need to grow a pair and deal with my family, huh?”
“You have a pair. I fully inspected them. But let’s just get your family drunk and see what happens.”
He lowered his head and touched his forehead to hers. “Bad things, Arias. Bad. Things.”
Her lips hitched up. “How about for every classist, racist, or asshole comment your dad makes, you owe me an orgasm?”
Finn lifted his head and grinned. “I fear that you are going to be one very satisfied lady.”
“I think I win either way,” she declared. “So, what am I going to be? Fiancée? Knocked up with triplets? One of an illicit ménage relationship you’re in?”
He laughed, settled his hand back on the steering wheel, and pulled out into traffic. “Let’s not give my mother a heart attack. How about we go with the truth? We’re dating.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “We’re dating?”
“Yes. If that works for you. I have no desire to share you this summer. I’m morally loose but very traditional,” he said with a half-serious tone. “Plus, you’re supposed to be helping me with my violent tendencies.”
“Violent tendencies?” she said drolly.
“Yes, violent tendencies, as in I feel the deep inner need to break things when I imagine some other guy touching you.”
“I see. That is very caveman of you.”
“I realize this.” He checked the rearview mirror and exited the highway. “I apologize. I’m not as evolved as you.”
She pulled her lip gloss out of her purse and smoothed it on. “Oh, I’d cut a bitch who came near you so…not that evolved.”
A sharp bark of a laugh burst out of him. “Why do I find this vicious side of you weirdly sexy?”
“Duh, because that’s my secret agent name now. Plus, you were dating an imaginary felon who attacked for love. Maybe you’ve developed a kink.”
His dimple appeared. “Oh, I’m developing a kink, all right. Her name is Olivia.”
“So, dating?” she asked.
He nodded. “Dating.”
The word settled into a more comfortable place in her head than she expected. She knew that this was temporary, that they had an expiration date, and that it would hurt like vinegar in an open wound when it was done, but for once, she wasn’t running from the thought.
If she’d learned anything from coming back to Long Acre and reading her letter, it was that you didn’t know what tomorrow would bring. You had to live for today. Enjoy the moment.
Even when you knew that moment couldn’t last.
Liv leaned back and gazed out the window. The familiar view registered for the first time. She’d been so wrapped up in her conversation with Finn that she hadn’t even noticed they’d taken the Long Acre exit. “What are we doing here? I thought your parents moved.”
“No.” Finn turned into the only swanky neighborhood in Long Acre, Briar Bend. “They rented a place in San Antonio until the media circus died down, but they came back home a few years later. They never sold the house.”
Liv’s stomach flipped over, her contentment from a moment earlier threatening to disintegrate. “Oh, I didn’t realize.”
He glanced over at her, worry marring his brow. “Is that a problem?”
She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “No, I just…I have memories there. Anything tied to that time in my life freaks me out a little. I never know what will trigger a panic attack.”
“Damn, I’m sorry,” he said, regret in his voice. “I didn’t even think. If you don’t want to—”
She lifted a hand. “No, don’t even say it. This is new Liv. Brave Liv. The woman who just walked out of her job mic-drop style. I can handle it. If I feel any anxiety coming on, I’ll find a quiet spot and get it together. I won’t cause a scene.”
“You can cause whatever you need to, but if you feel any signs, come get me,” he said. “Don’t be afraid to do that. I can help talk you down. I’ve been there.”
She nodded and rubbed her palms on her legs. “It’ll be fine.”
She said the words, hoping they’d be true.
* * *
Finn took a bracing breath when he and Liv strode up to the door of the house he’d grown up in. Not much looked like it had changed since the last time he’d visited. There were some new flowers in the front garden and a different welcome mat, but otherwise, it was the house he remembered—a sprawling three-story Texas-style home with stone, dark wood accents, and a wide porch across the front. Down the length of the porch, three rocking chairs that he’d never seen his parents use tilted back and forth in the breeze, creaking their greeting.
“That’s creepy,” Liv said under her breath when she followed his gaze. “I feel like we’re being watched.”
“The ghosts of the Dorsey family’s past,” he said in his best scary voice. “Do not enter if you want to live.”
Liv punched him in the arm. “Shut up. You’re making me want to do the sign of the cross or something.”
He grinned. “You can take the girl out of the church but not the Catholic out of the girl.”
Liv stuck her tongue out at him but then quickly did the sign of the cross, touching her forehead, sternum, and each shoulder. When he raised his eyebrows, she shrugged. “Going to visit your family. I’ll take all the protection I could get.”
He chuckled. “Hopefully it won’t require divine intervention.”
But when he turned to knock on the door, the spot between his shoulders tensed up like he was gearing up for a fight already. He sighed and tried to shake off the feeling. This was going to be fine. It was just a family visit. He gripped the neck of the bottle he had in his right hand and knocked.
There was noise on the other side, and he could hear shoes clicking against hardwood floors. He forced a pleasant look onto his face and snuck a peek at Liv, who looked like she was about to bolt.
The door swung open, and the woman on the other side let out a shriek. His younger sister, Jill, broke into a wide smile and then launched herself at him, a
cloud of auburn hair and girlie perfume. “Finn!”
Finn nearly dropped the bottle as she wrapped him in a fierce bear hug. “Jills.”
The tension he’d been feeling eased a bit at her enthusiasm. He’d had plenty of family drama in his life, but Jill had never been a part of it. Ten years younger than he was, she’d been the surprise baby and the one they’d all shielded. Even his father had doted on her instead of laying down the standard Dorsey family pressure to perform that Finn and his older sister, Katherine, had been subjected to.
Finn leaned back and smiled down at Jill. “I didn’t think you were going to be here. Last I heard, you were studying abroad.”
“I’m home for the summer.” She gave him another quick hug, and then her attention snagged on Liv. “Oh, oops, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you brought someone. Here I am, being all kinds of rude.”
Liv waved her off. “You’re not. I know it’s been forever since you’ve seen Finn. Don’t mind me.”
Jill disentangled herself from Finn and put out her hand to Liv. “I’m Jill, Finn’s sister.”
Liv clasped his sister’s hand, genuine warmth on her face. “Liv Arias, Finn’s…date.”
Jill’s eyes lit up. “Yay, a date.” She turned back to Finn, her expression way too pleased. “You brought a girl. I’m super impressed. Dad told me you’ve been living in a cave or something. I figured you’d have adopted a volleyball for a friend by now.”
Liv laughed and then quickly coughed over it.
Finn scoffed. “Dad has no idea what I’ve been doing or where I’ve been. I was adopting felons as friends.”
Jill frowned, worry wrinkling her brow. “Caves and volleyballs would be safer.”
He reached out and cupped her chin, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Hey, none of that. I’m here and fine. Okay? And yes, I brought a date. Who is not a felon.”
Some of the light in Jill’s face had dimmed, but she made an attempt to clear the frown. “Okay.” She stepped back through the doorway and then turned her head and yelled, “Mom, Finn’s here!”
Liv sent Finn a here-we-go look, and they followed Jill inside. She hurried toward the back part of the house, announcing to whomever would listen that Finn was there. Soon there were more voices drifting from the kitchen. His mom stepped into the hallway and clasped her hands to her chest at the sight of him. “Finn-Joseph.”
The gentle drawl of his mother’s voice using his first and middle name like one word hit him harder than he expected.
She hurried across the hallway, her silver bob bouncing and heels clicking until she stopped in front of him. Her eyes went shiny while she gave him a full head-to-toe perusal as if to make sure he hadn’t been lying to her about being okay.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Don’t you Hey, Mom me,” she admonished. “You come here and let me hug you, you stupid boy. Why have you made me wait so long to see your handsome face?”
He bent down and embraced his mother, feeling none of the awkwardness he had anticipated. He and his mom hadn’t always gotten along because she’d sided with his dad by default on most things, but he’d never doubted her love for him and his siblings. And he could feel by the tight, almost desperate way she was gripping him that she’d been well and truly worried about him never coming home again. Or coming home in a box.
A ripple of guilt went through him. “I’m sorry it’s been so long.”
“You should be,” she said matter-of-factly before releasing him. “It’s not good for an old-ish woman’s heart.”
He lifted the bottle of tequila, which was all he’d been left with for a gift after his and Liv’s predinner detour to the shower. “I brought this.”
His mother took the bottle and read the label. “Interesting choice, Son. Expecting a need for hard liquor tonight?”
“Maybe?”
She laughed, her blue-eyed gaze flicking to Liv. “Well, now you’ve probably scared your friend. Hello, I’m Barbara.”
Liv shook his mother’s hand. “Hi, Mrs. Dorsey. Liv Arias. You probably don’t remember me, but we met a few times when Finn and I were in high school. We were classmates.”
His mother’s lips pressed together in thought. “Arias? That name does sound familiar.”
Liv released her hand and smiled. “My father also used to do your landscaping. I helped him out from time to time.”
“Oh yes!” his mom said, face brightening. “Santos. He did such a lovely job and was always so friendly. And oh”—she snapped her fingers—“you were his daughter with the purple hair. I remember thinking you had such a unique style.”
Finn cringed at the word unique, but Liv laughed. “That’s one way to describe it. I was going through a fashion-questionable phase.”
His mother waved a hand. “Don’t we all, darlin’. You should’ve seen my hair in the eighties. It was so big, it needed its own zip code.”
Finn let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. He’d never expected his mom to make Liv feel uncomfortable. She was the consummate hostess and, unlike his father, a whole lot less judgmental about where people came from or how much money they had. But it was a relief nonetheless to see Liv relax.
“All right, you two,” his mother said, leading them down the hall. “I have appetizers in the kitchen. I went with a devilish theme.”
“Devilish?” Liv asked.
“You’ll see,” his mom said proudly. “Finn will tell you. I love a theme. But don’t fill up too much. The ham will be ready in a little while. I’m expecting a few more guests.”
Finn and Liv followed his mom into the kitchen where she had set up a number of delicious looking plates of food. Deviled eggs with jalapeños on top. Her famous spicy, roasted garlic dip with crudités and crackers. These things she called devils on horseback, which were dates wrapped with bacon and stuffed with cheese. His stomach rumbled at the sight.
Most kids he’d known growing up had found his mom’s food odd, but it was comfort food for him. His dad had always been working, so she’d picked up new hobbies or projects regularly. But cooking had turned out to be her love. When she’d told his father that she was considering opening a small catering business, he’d squashed the idea instantly. They didn’t need the money, and he’d be damned if his wife was going to be serving the neighbors food like hired help.
Finn had never heard his parents argue so loudly. His dad had won.
“This all looks fantastic, Mrs. Dorsey,” Liv said, gazing at all the food.
“Oh, thank—”
“Barb.” A booming voice came from the hallway. “Where the hell is my golf bag? You better not have—”
At the sound of his father’s voice, the tightening of Finn’s mom’s lips was barely perceptible, but Liv’s sharp intake of breath wasn’t. Finn reached out and grabbed Liv’s hand just as his father stepped into the kitchen, his sentence cutting off at the sight of them.
His mom’s smile was forced. “Look, Carl, Finn’s here.”
His father straightened, his expression as dark as the hair on his head. “So I see.”
“Hi, Dad.”
His father headed over to them. He gave Liv a brief, confused glance and then turned back to Finn. He stuck out his hand. “Son.”
The handshake was firm, almost painful, and Finn tried not to notice how much his father had aged in the years since he’d last seen him. The lines in his face had deepened, and he’d lost weight. Somehow the towering, intimidating man of his youth seemed tired and small. But the hard glint in his eyes was the same.
“Carl, this is Finn’s friend, Liv Arias. Her father used to do the landscaping. You remember Santos?”
His dad frowned and turned to Liv. “Can’t say that I do. We’ve had a lot of lawn guys. They all blend together. Names all sound the same.”
Liv’s grip tightened on Finn’s hand
as she offered a brittle smile. “He worked for you for five years. And you once caught me and your son kissing. Maybe that will jog your memory. Unless Finn was kissing more landscapers’ daughters than I was aware of. Maybe we blend together, too.”
Liv said it with a light tone, but the dig was obvious.
His mom’s lips parted in surprise, and Finn couldn’t help but grin. “No, I only kissed one daughter. That should narrow it down for you, Dad.”
His father’s face reddened a bit. “Yes, now I recall.”
The tension was subtle but growing like a cancer. His mother stepped in, lifting a plate. “Bacon-wrapped thing?”
Liv bit her lip and took one with thanks.
“So, dear, how is your father?” his mom asked, making the men take an appetizer, too. “Is he still making yards beautiful? You should see the rose garden he planted out back all those years ago. It’s thriving and the envy of all my friends in the neighborhood.”
Liv gave his mother a gracious smile. “Yes, ma’am. But he doesn’t do the frontline work anymore. He expanded the company and is now in charge of a number of crews throughout the Austin area.”
“That’s wonderful,” Finn’s mother said, her drawl coming out in full force. “Running your own business is such a challenge. I’m opening up a little wine bar in town this fall, and I tell you, it’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I’ve also never had so much fun.”
His father grunted.
Finn paused, devil on horseback halting halfway to his mouth. “Wait, what? You’re opening up a bar?”
His mother beamed. “I am. That’s one of the things I wanted to get you out here for. I wanted to tell you in person.”
“That’s amazing, Mom.” He gave her another quick hug. “I know you’ve always wanted to do something like that.”
“I have, and I’m not getting any younger. Nothing makes me prouder than knowing I raised three wonderful children, but sometimes you just need something for yourself. Even if it’s an utter failure, at least I can say I gave it a shot, right?” She laughed.
