by Cari Quinn
“Could I?” she whispered.
“Absolutely.” He leaned into the girl a little.
The girl popped up and twisted her arms around his neck. “Thank you.”
West patted her shoulders and waited for the shutter sound and leaned back. “Congrats on your new kitten.”
His belly was a mess and he had to stand.
“West?”
He forced a smile and tangled his fingers with Lo. “I just need a second.”
She frowned and set the kitten into the volunteers hands. “Thanks,” she murmured. She climbed out of the pen after him. He could hear her right behind him as he hustled down to the little picnic area.
Most of the time he was pretty good around kids, but every once in a while one reminded him of Chloe. A little piece of what could have been always slapped at him out of the blue.
Kelly looked so much like Stephanie, his high school girlfriend and the daughter they’d made. Chloe, his daughter he’d never actually met.
“West?”
His smile was a little less forced this time. Worry flooded Lo’s huge gray eyes. He pressed his forehead to hers. “Everything’s fine.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“We all come with baggage, right?”
“And I shared some with you.”
He linked their fingers together. “I’m not sure I could take the look in your eyes if I tell you about it.”
“I don’t know everything about you yet, but I do know you’re a good person. It can’t be that bad.”
There were far too many people around. The sun was blasting and the water lapped gently at the cement walking path. It was one of those perfect days in San Francisco. He’d been counting on it, and now he was freaking the fuck out because of an old memory.
Just awesome.
He wished he had that kind of faith shining in Lo’s eyes. And while he didn’t exactly hide Chloe, he didn’t want the press to run with it either. She had a good life with her mother. His crazy life didn’t touch her, just as Steph had requested.
You bounce from couch to couch and crash with friends, West. That was great when we were dating. I have to think about the baby now. My parents want to help me, but only if I do it alone.
He could still hear Steph’s voice in his head.
The censure never quite went away.
Nor did her parents’ disapproval. They’d always disliked him, but after they’d gotten pregnant… Yeah, there was a whole different kind of hate there. Not only did he defile their little girl, but he got her pregnant with his less than ideal sperm.
Stephanie Clark was meant for bigger and better things.
He shook his head to push away those old memories. “Why don’t we go down on the beach for a little while?”
Lauren wrapped her other hand around their joined hands and squeezed. “Of course.”
She was quiet as they followed the massive walking path along the water. The ocean always quieted his hectic mind. Before music had taken over his brain, he’d used surfing and skateboarding to drown out the shitty voices that followed him around. He’d relied on the kindness of friends to stay out of his house as much as possible as a kid, and when a couch hadn’t been available, the beach had always saved him.
As active as Lauren’s mind was—and it was always going a million miles a minute—she was really good at taking cues as well. He hauled her in close to his chest and draped his arm around her shoulders. She melted into him. The instant trust eased a few of the threads that had knotted across his shoulder blades.
When they got to the end of the walk and sand shifted under their feet, he finally breathed enough salt and ocean tinged air that his brain stopped racing with every shitty thought about his life.
It was a good life.
He knew it—mostly. Until he looked at this woman and pieces of him wondered if he’d ever be good enough for her. Their time was ticking away and he knew she’d leave. That big brain of hers needed buckets of information on a constant basis.
After a while she’d grow tired of him.
But until then he’d enjoy her. Show her that not all men were assholes, and maybe, just maybe, make a few amazing memories to hold him over.
The bark of a dog made him turn.
Immediately Lo crouched and took the full frontal assault from their friend from this morning. Bert took her out and she landed in a giggling heap with the wet dog splattering her shirt and pants.
No fear.
That was his Lauren.
Not his.
Just his for now.
It was getting harder and harder to remind himself of that.
Had it really only been a few days with her? Bert bounded away from her and out to the surf then back with a stick the side of his damn head. She didn’t even pause. She immediately took it from him and hurled it back toward the water.
“He’s adorable.” She fell on her butt, her arms coming up to hug her knees.
He grinned down at her. “You know he’s still a strange dog right?”
“If you act afraid of dogs, they’ll mirror everything you do. Show joy and happiness and they’ll give it back to you.” She drew a heart in the sand before smoothing it away.
The happy and wet dog came back four more times before he scampered away to another pack of dogs at the far edge of the beach.
She held her hands up to him. “So, are you going to tell me?”
“Figures you wouldn’t let it go.” He hauled her up.
“I’ll respect your privacy if you really want me to, but I’d like to understand. I’d like to help if I can.” She brushed her hands off, then the film clinging to the tops of his thighs.
“You distract me like that there’s no way I’ll tell you.”
She hooked her forefingers into his belt loops. “You’ll feel better if you tell me.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“I do.” She pressed her lips together and rocked back on her heels. “It can’t be that bad.”
“I take no pride in it.”
“Did it have something to do with the little girl you were talking to?”
He nodded. “She reminded me of someone.”
“Sister?”
“Daughter.” He watched her face.
Surprise dissolved into confusion. “You’ve never mentioned a daughter.”
He shifted her outside the surf line and up to the packed sand along the craggy cove. “I don’t talk about her. My high school girlfriend got pregnant. I was a wild kid without a care in the world. I lived for my surfboard and my skateboard. Steph hung out with my crowd and we clicked—at least for a little while.”
“What happened?”
“She was slumming.”
Lo’s eyebrows snapped down. “I can’t believe that’s why she was with you.”
“I was exactly who her pops never wanted her to date. She was a Beverly Hills kid who wanted to party all the time. Add in that we were careless as only seventeen year olds can be and holy fuck, there was a pink stick with a big old positive sign sitting between us before school started in our senior year.”
“I can’t imagine how hard that was.”
“Harder on Steph. She had huge plans for college. And none of those plans included me or a baby.”
“But she had it?’
He nodded. He hadn’t even been there in the delivery room. Hell, he didn’t get notified until the baby was ten days old. No input whatsoever.
She moved into him, her arms wrapping around his back as she pressed her cheek to his chest.
West anchored himself to her with a hand in her windblown hair. He moved them further into the rocky cove away from the wind. He rested his chin on top of her head. Ocean and pineapples—his new favorite scent.
It was easier to talk without her huge gray eyes staring deep into his soul. He didn’t have to think about just how black parts of it could be after walking away from his flesh and blood. Even if it had been for Chloe’s sa
ke in all ways.
“Chloe Clark.”
She pulled away. “That’s not your last name.”
“No, it is not.”
“Was that your choice?” Her eyes were tinged with red and her lips were swollen from her teeth. He preferred them swollen from his teeth, his lips. He hated to see her in distress about him in any way.
“It was better for her family if I wasn’t in the baby’s life.”
“That doesn’t answer the question.”
Leave it to Lo to logical, even here. “No. I don’t suppose it does. I was a messed up kid trying to run away from a messed up situation. She pushed me away and I let her.” He swallowed. “So there’s my big, bad secret.”
“That kid is missing out. I know it.” She stood on her toes and slanted her mouth across mine. The kiss was far more aggressive than she usually was.
And again, he allowed a woman to sweep him away from his problems. This one led him only to the light. The simple gesture made his chest hurt. He fisted his hands into her hair and swallowed her moans, her generosity, and a piece of the hope she offered.
Because if Lauren Bryant thought he was a decent guy, he couldn’t be all bad.
The kiss quickly spun out until her cool hands were under his shirt and up along his shoulder blades. The mist and fog collided off the coast in the soupy haze that San Francisco could give off so easily.
Her taste was embedded in his brain. He was supposed to be the one teaching her about all the ways a man could make a woman feel good, and in the end she was teaching him so much more.
Their first time should be in the daylight with the sun pouring on her skin. Not in the bus with people all around them and privacy a nonentity in his insane world. He wanted to do something right for a woman in his life.
He pulled away enough to mumble, “change of plans,” against her lips.
She lifted heavy eyelids. “I’m game for anything. As long as I’m with you.”
He pressed his forehead to hers. “God, you kill me.”
Her smile was as bright as the sun trying to break through the fog. “Can we wait until we have sex first.”
“Progress. You didn’t call it intercourse.”
“Well, how about this? I want you inside me. I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. Don’t make me wait anymore.”
“Even if I had a different plan, that would have swayed me. Sweet fuck, Lo.”
She nodded. “Yes, let’s do that.”
He laughed. He really hadn’t been sure he’d be able to laugh again with all the memories log-jammed in his freaking brain, but as usual she wouldn’t allow the gloom and doom to touch them. “I want to take you somewhere.”
“Anywhere.”
He kissed her quickly before tugging her up the beach toward the parking lot. Vendors were everywhere for the event. Part of him felt guilty for leaving early. Especially since he’d pushed for the band to be included in the adoptions. Lila was counting on all of them for face time and press.
But he couldn’t think about anything other than sinking between the thighs of this ridiculously fascinating woman. And not because she was a virgin. No, this was so much more than that at this point.
He dug out his phone and pinged at least seven Uber drivers in the area. This was prime real estate for those drivers. In fact three different cars were pulled at the end of the walkways.
They’d scouted out hotels close to the venue, but none had been special enough in his mind. He rarely splurged on a hotel simply because the bus suited his needs most of the time. He wasn’t a saint. There’d been plenty of hookups when he was in need for one, but he’d been focused on the album for the last few months. He wasn’t like Mal who liked to find the nearest available female to pound out his aggressions and nerves into.
He kept things loose and fun. If it was must a make out session, that was fine with him. If the woman wanted more, he was usually ready to oblige. But that wasn’t going to cut it today. Or tonight.
He wanted time with her.
And that meant a real place, with space and a bit of luxury.
He typed in their destination and set it up to pay. The driver didn’t seem inclined to be chatty. Worked for him.
Lo sat next to him, her fingers twisting in her lap. He covered them, and brought her wrist up to his lips. Her smile was a little more strained. Nerves lived in her mist-colored eyes.
He wanted to reassure her, but he was just as messed up about it. It felt huge to him as well. Hell, he barely remembered his first time. It was a stumbling, fumbling mess of disappointment with Metallica playing in the background.
It wasn’t going to be like that for her.
When the car pulled up, he added an extra tip for the quick service. Her eyes widened as they walked into the gilded doors of one of the finest hotels in the area.
“Here?”
“Yes, here. Your ass deserves only the finest linen, baby.”
She laughed, but her grip on his hand was even stronger the closer they got to the desk. He gave his name. “I had reservations for this evening, but was hoping you could get us in earlier.”
The girl behind the counter nodded. “Let me see what we can do.”
“I don’t mind paying an upgrade to make it happen.”
She nodded. “I had a cancellation last night, and I don’t think we ever booked it out. Yes.” The woman was in her mid-thirties and her smile was friendly, not the frozen shark-toothed smile of some people in customer service. She tapped on her computer then pulled out a keycard. “I can definitely do that for you Mr. Reynolds.”
He tucked the card into his back pocket.
“Just go up those stairs to the elevator. We’re sorry about the plastic cordoning off the lounge area. We had a little mishap with a seagull. He got trapped up there and ended up setting off the sprinklers and trying to peck his way through the ceiling.”
“Whoa.” Lo’s eyes widened. “Now there’s a YouTube video for the site.”
The woman laughed. “We thought it was hilarious until it almost ruined the red piano upstairs.”
His stomach rolled. If anything like that happened to his upright he’d have a shit fit. “Sacrilege.”
“How our manager felt as well. It wasn’t harmed. Do you play?”
Lo opened her mouth, but he squeezed her hand. “Something like that.”
“Well, we hope you enjoy your stay. If you need anything, just ask for Danneel.”
He smiled. The only thing he needed was a box of fucking condoms. He had a few in his wallet for now, but he’d make sure to replenish before they came back tonight. “We will.”
They took the stairs two at a time, Lauren crowding behind him just as quickly. The flash of red out of the corner of his eye had him inching toward the heavy duty plastic. The red enameled piano was gorgeous and his fingers itched to get onto the keys. Not enough to stop—not when his focus was getting his fingers on Lauren.
The ride to their room was interminable. He wanted to be clever and drag her into his arms. But every playful move sounded idiotic. He just wanted to get her behind a door and get her under him.
He was starving for her.
And if he didn’t miss his guess, she was in the same state.
His fingers shook as he jammed the keycard into the lock. It took two tries, but then they were in. They both stood in the doorway. Sun blasted through the dual windows.
There was nothing shielding them from the early afternoon rays. The fog had been trampled by sun. It glinted off the high gloss pieces in the room. Golden curtains and warm walls were along his periphery.
But all he really saw was the bed.
The nerves that had followed him into the hotel dissolved.
A huge, perfect bed was all he noticed. Oh, and the space. No one else around.
Just them.
Chapter Thirteen
She’d walked into the sun.
Lauren checked out the room, more than a little shocke
d this was her life. Anytime she would wake up, orgasmless and alone as she’d been before.
Except she kept blinking and blinking and the picture never changed.
Light bathed every corner of the suite, glinting off the gold around the ornate mirror and lamps. Even the heavy curtains were a gold brocade that made the place seem to sparkle.
Maybe that was just her.
“Come here.” West slid his hand under her hair and cupped the back of her neck, drawing her to him so fast she gasped. Not from fear. There were no nerves with this man. She didn’t understand why.
Just…greed. So much greed.
Her hands met his muscled chest, her fingers curling in at the first touch of his mouth. He was always so careful for their first kisses. So gentle as he parted her lips and requested entrance. Then that catch in his breath as he went deeper, pressing his fingers into the back of her neck so he could tilt her and take.
They wouldn’t be stopping this time.
She drew back and tugged off her top, tossing it on a nearby chair. His eyes unfocused and it made it so much easier to reach back to undo the clasp of her bra, to let the straps fall down her arms so that she was exposed. The lacy cotton dropped to her feet and the reverence on his face made her knees wobble.
“So lovely.”
Even that word choice made her weak. He’d get dirtier and rougher as they went, and she loved that too. Craved every experience. But the appreciation in his voice, in his expression went miles to bolstering her confidence.
She wasn’t afraid, but she could be shy. Not today. Her first time wouldn’t hold a single regret.
She undid the button and zipper on her pants and pushed them down, pausing to kick off the sneakers he’d bought her. She left on the rainbow socks though. “Toes get cold,” she explained before she shoved her pants and cotton panties off the rest of the way.
He slid his hands in his back pockets and smiled down at her socks, lifting his gaze up her body so slowly and leaving heat in his wake. She squirmed under his careful perusal between her legs, staring so thoroughly that she swore he’d know the placement of every freckle and mole.
“Turn around,” he said huskily.
