by J. M. Nevins
Alexa sighed. “I dunno. We don’t have time to figure it out. I can put in a call if you want.”
Spencer was firm. “Don’t do it. I tried to pump Jonathan for information individually after our conference call. He had nothing. I suspect Lew will be tight lipped. He’s got a strategy. I just don’t know what it is yet. I’ll keep you posted as I learn more. Jonathan is supposed to call me later.”
“Ok. I’ll call you back soon.” She hung up the phone and looked at Kit who was still dazed and staring out the window. “Hun, how are you doing?”
She looked over at Alexa. “I have no idea what’s going on. Gimme the phone. I’m going to call Lew. I don’t get it. Why did he leak it?”
Alexa shook her head. “I have no idea. I’ll give you the phone as soon as I call Lila. Then you can have at it. We’re doing a little fire prevention.”
Kit waved her away. “Do what you need to do.”
Fifteen minutes later, Alexa returned and handed the phone to Kit. “We’re ok. Things are solid. Have at it.”
Kit searched her eyes. “Really? Or are you shitting me?” She stared at her. “Hmm… you are telling the truth. You got this under control somehow.” She grinned. “I forgot you are the master of publicity.”
Alexa winked. “And I need a stiff drink after that.” She motioned over the flight attendant.
Kit dialed Lew’s exclusive number. It immediately routed to his secondary assistant, Clarissa. “Can I speak with Lew? It’s Kit. I’d imagine he’s expecting my call.”
“I’m sorry, Kit, Lew is on route to New York for an emergency board meeting that he initiated. He specifically stated no disruptions until 4 p.m. eastern. He’s in a private meeting with Jonathan and Chris on the jet. I can leave word. What’s the best number for him to contact you?”
Kit felt annoyed and impatient. She wanted answers now. “My mobile. Tell him it’s urgent and I’ll be in Philadelphia after 4.”
“I’ll do that, Kit.”
She hung up the phone and let out a long sigh. She shook her head and stared out the window again. She felt tremendously vulnerable and chuckled to herself, remembering Lew’s story about the hermit crab looking for a new shell. She was desperate to find hers.
Alexa glanced over at her. “No luck?”
She shook her head. “Nope. Maybe later. Sounds like he gets in to New York an hour or two after we arrive in Philly. I’ll be in a meeting with Sully by the time he’s available so I’ll pass my phone off to you. Shit, Lex, I have to tell Sull about the filing. When he hears the lyrics of that song he’ll fucking lose it. If I’d told him about the legal separation it will still sting, but he’ll at least see it coming.
She met Alexa’s eyes. “Even though we fucked up our marriage and I’m pretty hurt and pissed, I don’t want to hurt him anymore than I have. That’s the last thing I want. He deserves to be happy and healthy and I deserve that too. I don’t want him to be the last to know what’s going on, y’know?”
Alexa nodded. “I get it. That’s big of you. I’m pretty pissed off at Sully right now, to be honest. I think you’re being a little too nice and accommodating. Be civil, yes, but hold your ground. Put up a firm boundary for you.”
Alexa stared at her. “Be a bitch, Kit. He broke your heart. He’s got a fucking girlfriend for chrissakes. If you won’t be, then I will. He and Wes have continued speaking, but that doesn’t mean that I approve. Wes and I have agreed to disagree. Wes doesn’t want to take sides and he and Sull have been close buddies for almost a decade. Just be a bitch, ok? I think it’s best for you. Protect your heart.”
She sighed. “Maybe you’re right.”
Alexa took a seat across from her, leaning forward toward her and gazing into her eyes. “Babe, I want the best for you. It’s time to break this pattern. You did this with Kirby too. C’mon, let it go. You deserve so much better. But to get to that better place, you gotta start putting in those boundaries for you. Be unapologetic. Feel whatever you want to feel because you can. You are worthy and enough and it’s time to stop settling.”
Alexa took her hand. “You deserve a man who will stand by you, support you, love you with all his heart, healthfully and faithfully. A man that brings the best out in you and is an amazing equal, that takes care of you, not someone who wants you to guide his career. It’s time to let go of your old. Let in the power player because you are the power player and you deserve the best.”
She met Alexa’s gaze, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks. She took a moment to compose herself and was desperate to lighten the mood. She forced a grin through her tears and blew her nose with the tissue Alexa offered her.
She then looked up. “Thank you. There’s a part of me that needed to hear that. I’m glad you had the courage to say it. I know you’re right. I told Henri the other day that I wished he was straight and single.”
Alexa burst out laughing. “Now there’s something. See, he’s a power player. If only he was straight and single.” She giggled. “Damn, he is a gorgeous one. Like so stunningly handsome he’s painful to look at sometimes. Was he ever a model?”
She nodded and chuckled. “Yep, but barely. He was flaky and only showed up when he liked the designer or it suited his schedule. He did not have the work ethic of his cousin.”
Alexa laughed. “That sounds like Henri. And you’ve got a point. Joe did have an epic work ethic.”
Kit sighed, taking a moment to turn inward, unable to shake the memory of Joe she had during her life-changing surgery. She finally turned to look at Alexa. “Joe predicted this, y’know.”
Alexa frowned. “Predicted what? I remember Joe being really supportive of you being the big record exec you wanted to be back in the day. I don’t understand what you mean.”
She nodded. “I forgot to tell you, that’s why. Yes, back in the day, Joe was very supportive of me being a big record exec—that’s true. He thought I’d make a good producer, but I could always tell he was holding something back. I could see it in his eyes and I never understood.”
She continued, despite shifting in her seat. “Sometime after I lost consciousness and before I woke up in my hospital bed, I saw Joe. Saw him, like he was right in front of me. He told me it was time to be out front. Meaning it was time for me to step away from the business side and for me to be the star. I found the interaction tremendously disconcerting and thought it was some vapid hallucination.”
She swallowed hard. “Now I’m wondering if he was speaking to me from the other side. Like he saw this coming or something.” She shook her head and looked away, trying to dismiss it. “I dunno. Maybe I’m just losing my fucking mind.”
Alexa stared at her and carefully contemplated her response before speaking. “Kitty, look at me.” Kit shifted her attention to Alexa as she continued. “There may be something there. Here’s why I say that.”
Kit inched forward onto the edge of her seat, eager to hear the reasoning. Alexa continued. “You and Joey were in bands together. He knew your musical talent well. He knew you almost as long as I did.”
She reached for Kit’s hand. “And babe, I remember you as a kid. You wanted to be a star. You wanted to perform. You wanted to sing or play piano or play your guitar to a huge audience. You used to jump on my bed and sing into the hairbrush at every sleepover we had at my house. You never did that at your own house. You were careful to step in time to your dad’s agenda. At my house you were free to express yourself. You were that way at Joe’s house and at your grandmother’s too.”
She searched Kit’s emerald green eyes, still seeing the fear in them. She attempted to soothe her spirit. “Kitty, maybe he was talking to you from the other side. Maybe all this shit is happening because it is time for you to step into the spotlight. Because this time you will make it.”
Kit stared at her, feeling a strong sense of anxiety and apprehension, yet a deep residing truth that was throwing her off. She let out a long sigh, unable to shed the past. “What if I totally fuck up? What if
I crash and burn? What if fail? I don’t want to go through getting signed and getting dropped from a label again. No, no, no. Too fucking painful. Plus, people know me in this industry already. No go.” She folded her arms in front of her chest and stared out the window again.
Alexa grinned, her violet eyes sparkling with hope. “But, Kitty, what if this time you succeed? What if this time you go all way to the top? Did you ever think about that?”
Kit swallowed hard and continued to keep her gaze fixed on the bed of fluffy clouds outside the window. Alexa’s last round of thought provoking questions rung out in her head.
While she knew her best friend was doing her best to get Kit back on the right track with positivity, she quickly found that her own answers to the last round of questions leading to her success only made her more feel more anxious.
Failing was safer as an artist, it was what she knew before. Succeeding, being the star, being larger than life seized her with a fear that she realized had been holding her back all these years. Aware of it now, she made a committed decision to start telling a different, more empowered story.
“I can’t believe I’m about to do this.” Kit remarked as she stared out the window while the limousine pulled up to the curb at the hotel.
Alexa gazed at her empathetically. “You’re doing the right thing. Are you having second thoughts?”
Kit’s head whipped around and she stared at Alexa intently. She felt like Alexa had read her mind. She was having second thoughts. Her stomach was doing somersaults. She was questioning all of it, but she couldn’t find another immediate solution in her mind. Something about the entire situation felt wrong and she couldn’t shake it.
She sighed. “No comment. I can’t believe we let it get this fucked up.”
Alexa shook her head. “Stop beating yourself up.”
The limousine came to a stop. Before the chauffeur could get out and open the door, Sean beat him to it, opening the back door and welcoming Kit and Alexa with a big smile. “Hello Lovely Ladies! Welcome back to Philly.”
He reached in and helped each of them out of the car. As he was doing that, another limousine pulled up. Kit motioned to it. “Who’s in that one?”
He shook his head. “No one. That’s for the band. They’re about to head out to the radio station for an interview in fifteen minutes. Driver is early. C’mon, let’s walk and talk.”
As they entered the lobby, Sean gave her a brief overview of how Sully was fairing and what she may be up against. She was ready to dive right in. Alexa was on her cell phone feverishly negotiating with what sounded like a publication fishing for information on Kit’s new project. She knew Sean didn’t know, but she could feel her self-consciousness increasing as she exchanged a look with Alexa who immediately ended the call.
Sean looked at both of them. “Everything ok?”
Kit nodded. “Right as rain, Sean-Bon.” She patted him on the arm as he held the elevator doors open for them.
Alexa glanced over at Kit and reached for her hand to squeeze it as the elevator climbed floors within the bowels of the hotel. She returned the squeeze yet kept her eyes focused on the back of Sean’s head, silent, unable to utter a word.
The elevator doors opened and Sean stepped out. He ushered Kit along and Alexa hung back. She glanced over her shoulder. “Lex?”
Alexa shook her head. “This has got to be all you, babe. This is between you and Sully. I’ll be right outside with Sean. You can do this.” She glanced at her phone. “And Jonathan is calling me back. I have to take this.”
Kit’s eyes widened. There was a storm brewing with Jonathan and Lew having pushed out her single. She was dying to know what was going on. She realized she had to let that go temporarily and allow Alexa to handle it for her while she put her focus on why she was there.
She released a long sigh and looked at Sean. “Is he alone?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “We’ll certainly find out.”
He was about to pound on one of the double doors when Kit stopped him. She looked puzzled. “Wait. What is this? The presidential suite? What the fuck? Since when did he start staying in the presidential suite on tour?”
Sean remained unfazed. “Let’s just say, it’s not approved by the label and they’re up in arms about it. Sully told someone in A&R to fuck off and that he deserved the presidential suite whenever it was available because he earned it with this tour.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Sull’s been a little dodgy lately, like he’s losing his marbles. Giselle said they’re pulling it out of his earnings. He doesn’t know. She’s tried to tell him, but let’s just say he hasn’t been all that receptive or present in our meetings lately. He’s beyond unhinged. And losing the inheritance has made things worse. I will say that it seems like he was looking forward to you visiting. Hasn’t been near even one groupie since the drug test went down, no parties either. Just locks himself in his suite after the show—alone.”
Kit swallowed hard. Her stomach was a mess of knots that seemed to tighten with each passing moment she got closer to seeing Sully face to face.
She nodded. “Ok Sean-Bon, let’s do this.”
He pounded on the door and seconds later, it flew open. Sully’s face lit up upon seeing Kit. He outstretched his arms and she moved forward into his embrace almost mechanically.
She then softened up and let herself get lost in it knowing this may be one of those moments she would look back on. The beginning of the end. It created a major quandary for her—being in his arms felt so right. He still felt like home and it confused her to no end. She didn’t want to let go, but she remembered the reason why she was there.
He finally released her and gazed into her eyes giving her a kiss. “How was your flight?”
She nodded and forced a grin. “Fine.”
Sean stood in the threshold patiently. He looked at Sully. “Anything else I can do for you two before I go?” They both shook their heads silently. He nodded. “Right, then.”
He grabbed the ‘do not disturb’ sign from the back of the doorknob and put it on the front of the door handle. “Take the time you need. All of your obligations have been shifted, Sully. You’re good for a few hours, until we head out for soundcheck at six.”
Sully couldn’t wipe the smile from his face. He took Kit’s hand and admired her from head to toe. He then sweetly kissed her on the cheek. “You look beautiful. How are you feeling?” His eyes searched hers.
She was feeling a mix of emotions coursing through her. Part of her wanted to fall back into the comfort of routine and another part of her was repulsed by his touch knowing he had a girlfriend he was actively involved with and had been for months.
His question was one she didn’t want to answer, but knew couldn’t be avoided. She felt like she was about to grab a big machete out of her purse that would gut their life together as they knew it and it wasn’t settling well with her. Her intuition was screaming no and it confused her. She cast away the intuitive nudge to stop and opted to go forward.
She stepped away from him toward the center of the vast suite. “Sull, we need to talk.” She headed for the dining room table where she pulled out a chair and took a seat, plopping down her large, black leather tote bag on one of the chairs where she could easily access it.
He frowned and slowly followed her, sensing something was amiss. He didn’t know if he could take more bad news after dealing with the blow about the inheritance. He wondered if she wanted to discuss that and he dreaded the thought.
He took a seat and faced her. “What’s up? Is this about the inheritance thing?”
She stared at him. “It’s about a lot of things, but before I get into that, I have some news to share with you that you’re not going to like. I didn’t want to share this with you over the phone. That’s why I’m here.”
He leaned forward and stared into her eyes, desperate to get a read on her but failing miserably. He had pulled back on his drug use since Spencer’s visit in hopes of bein
g a little more coherent for her arrival. “Ok. Go on.”
She sighed. “Since I’m not working I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, especially in light of some recent developments and I’ve come to a decision about something that I really feel is best for me at this point in my life.”
He sat back and rolled his eyes. “Uh-huh. I heard the rumor. You resigned as our manager.” He looked at her. “I knew this was coming. Well, if you…”
She held up her hand to stop him. “Yes, I resigned, but that has nothing to do with my decision.”
He cocked his head to the side, confusion enveloping him. He surveyed her closely. “What decision?”
She paused and took a deep breath. It was now or never. She swallowed hard and continued. “I filed for a legal separation. It’s the first step in the process. Eventually, our next step will be a divorce if we can’t find a way to reconcile. I seriously think that’s not gonna happen at this point.”
His eyes widened. “What?” He became alarmed realizing that she wasn’t bluffing when he noticed her left hand. He pointed. “Where are your rings?”
She ignored him momentarily, reached into her tote bag and found the envelope. She took the papers out detailing the filing of the legal separation, plopped them on the table and pushed them toward him. “Read these please. Pay special attention to the sections noted.”
She met his eyes. “Sully, I gave the rings to Sotheby’s for auction. They were never my rings anyway—they were my grandmother’s. She was kind enough to loan them to you to propose to me. They weren’t meant to be there permanently. You were going to buy me my own rings, remember? Yeah, that never happened.”
He seized the papers outlining the legal separation and read through them hastily shaking his head in disbelief. He threw them down angrily and stood up, raising his voice. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, Kit! What the fuck is going on here? Where did this come from?”
