by E. L. Todd
“But I want you, Hawke…” I didn’t mean to sound so desperate. I’d wanted him for three months. The moment we met, the chemistry was there. Now I wanted him for completely different reasons.
He ended the embrace and stared into my eyes. “I want you too.”
“Then take me. I’m yours.”
He released a quiet growl like I said the wrong thing. One hand left my wrist and moved down into my panties. His fingers immediately found my entrance and slid inside along with the moisture. Before I could release a moan, his lips were pressed to mine.
He kissed me more aggressively as he fingered me. His tongue did tantalizing things to me, and his fingers did the rest.
“Hawke, I want you…”
“This is me.” His thumb moved to my clitoris and rubbed it in a circular motion.
I hadn’t been touched by a man in so long, and I was pathetically writhing on the bed for him. My nails dug into his back and practically sliced his skin, and I struggled to kiss him back because the area between my legs was on fire.
Hawke kept his face close to mine and looked into my eyes as he gave me the final push. He touched me in all the right ways, and sent me to a place I hadn’t been in a long time.
“Hawke…” I dug my nails deeper.
He stared at me with his heated gaze until I finished.
I writhed all the way through it, arching my back and releasing quiet moans. It was long and enjoyable, and when it finally passed, I was exhausted and satisfied.
Hawke watched the expression in my eyes. “Better?”
“For now. But I still want you.”
“You’ll have me, Muffin.” He kissed me again. “Just not tonight.”
***
When I woke up, Hawke was getting dressed in front of the mirror. He tied his tie then buttoned his shirt. Everything he wore fit him to a T, and sometimes I wondered if he should get out of investing and consider modeling. “You look handsome today.”
He looked at me through the mirror. “And you look gorgeous every day.” He approached the bed then sat at the edge. “Sleep well?”
“I always sleep well when I’m with my grizzly.”
“Is that my nickname now?” He tilted his head like he was amused.
“It suits you.”
“Then Grizzly it is.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead. He stayed there for a long time, making an innocent embrace ignite with a spark. “Come over tonight after work.”
“Okay.” I didn’t need to be told twice.
He stood up and grabbed his keys and wallet. “And make me muffins tonight.”
“Uh…I’m not a maid.”
He gave me a smug grin. “You’re my maid now.”
I’d be his anything. “I guess I’ll tell my brother about us.” The thought of doing it gave me a headache. Axel was always weird when it came to the guys I dated. He tried to fill Dad’s shoes when it wasn’t necessary.
“No, I’ll talk to him.”
“But he’s going to be mad and—”
“You think I’m scared of him?” His eyes darkened to coal. “I’ll handle it. Don’t worry about him.”
“It might be easier if—”
“Do I have to kiss you to shut you up?”
My lips stretched into a smile. “That’s probably a good idea.”
He fisted my hair then tilted my chin up, exposing my mouth to him. Then he kissed me just the way he did last night, and it didn’t seem like he cared that I didn’t brush my teeth. “At least now I know how to keep you quiet.”
“Uh-huh…”
Bad News
Hawke
Francesca was officially mine.
This was a dark path that I hoped didn’t lead to a brick wall. She’d changed me so much in just three months that I thought she could change me completely. The moment she gave me that journal, I knew this was what I was meant to do. If I had any chance of being happy…it was with her.
I didn’t want to fuck her. Well, not right away.
It didn’t seem smart to rush into something on our first night together. I was surprised I controlled myself and managed to remain responsible. I’d wanted her for so long, but now that I had her, I wanted other things. I wanted her lips, her touch, and her look.
I wanted her heart.
I’d already done the animal-like sex and the crazy positions with handcuffs. I’d already fucked everyone in town and tried every new experience. I didn’t want that with her. I wanted exactly what we already had—something beautiful.
When I walked into the bar to meet Axel, I knew the conversation wouldn’t go well. He might slam a beer bottle on my head, and then I would have to kick his ass and get thrown in jail. He told me his sister was off limits, but I went behind his back and got her anyway.
I wouldn’t blame him for being mad.
But hopefully, he would hear me out and understand the nature of our relationship. Of course, he was going to jump to the worst possible conclusion; that I was ass-fucking his sister for the week before I dumped her and never called again.
Axel waved when he spotted. “Yo. I’m over here, bitch.”
I ordered my beer before I slid into the booth across from him. “What’s up?”
“The blonde at two o’clock is about to get pounded.”
I didn’t look. “Lucky her.”
“I know. I’m going to make her night.”
I didn’t roll my eyes even though I really wanted to. “Anything else new with you?”
“Yeah. I didn’t know Marie got so hot. Have you seen her?”
“A few times.”
“She’s a perfect ten. When did she grow up?”
There was nothing wrong with Marie, but I never had a thing for her. When she made eyes at me at the coffee shop, I wasn’t interested. It was the petite brunette behind her that caught my interest. “There’s something I want to talk about. Before you flip out, I want you to hear me out.”
“You already fucked Marie?”
“No.” My past was going to haunt me forever. I wish Axel didn’t know about that aspect of my life. He was going to have a hard time believing I’d really changed…especially after the things he’d seen me do. “She’s not my type.”
“Seriously, when did hot become not your type?”
I needed to stay on topic otherwise it would keep circling back to Marie. “It’s about the girl I’m seeing.”
He smacked his hand on the table. “About time you talked about her. Stop keeping her in the closet. I won’t fuck her. I promise.”
I sure hope not. “She and I really care about each other, and it’s pretty serious.”
Axel whistled. “For a couple of weeks, maybe.”
“Axel.” I gave him a firm look. “I’m being serious.”
He rolled his eyes. “She’s a blonde, isn’t she?”
I knew he wasn’t going to take this well no matter how I laid it out. “I really care about her, and I’m not screwing around with her. I’m faithful to her and always will be.”
“Dude, are you trying to put me to sleep? Who the hell is this magician?”
There was nothing to do except come clean about it. I looked him in the eye and didn’t back down. I didn’t break any rules because I hadn’t slept with Francesca—yet. “It’s your sister.”
He was about to take a drink when he processed my words. Then he slowly lowered the bottle to the table, completely missing the coaster. Rage moved into his eyes, and I knew a storm was coming. “She’s. Off. Limits.”
“We aren’t messing around. We care about each other.”
“You motherfucker.” If he had a gun in his hand, he would have shot me. “I told you to stay away from my sister. She isn’t the type of girl you’re looking for. She’s been through enough. I don’t give a damn if you’re my friend, I’ll kill you for messing with her.” His nostrils were flaring and he saw red.
“I’m not messing with her,” I said calmly. “It’s different with
her.”
“So, you’ll keep her around for two weeks instead of one?” he snapped. “Big improvement.”
“Look, I know I haven’t showed the best morals around you, but I swear I’m not like that with her.”
He slammed his hand down on the table. “You’re a piece of shit. If you think I’m going to let you near my sister—”
“I love her.”
He stopped in midsentence and stared at me. The ferocity slowly disappeared, and the storm started to die down. The rage burning in his eyes simmered down to hot coals. “What did you say?”
I knew how I felt about her. And I knew it long before she gave me that journal. “I love her, Axel. She changed my life for the better. I’m a different man with her.”
He sat back against the booth and stared at me like he didn’t know me.
“She and I…there’s something between us. It’s been there since we met. Even if I wanted to stay away from her, I couldn’t. She’s…” I stopped myself before I said something crazy. I’d never believed in love before spotting Francesca in that coffee shop, but now I believed it more than ever. Anything was possible with her. Fate and destiny were myths people made up to make themselves feel better. But now…it didn’t seem that farfetched. Whatever I shared with Francesca transcended past the world I thought I knew. It was beyond my understanding of the universe, time, and gravity. It was an absolute truth, and nothing I said could ever change that. “Axel, I’ll be good to her.”
He looked out the window and left his beer untouched. Instead of being angry, he was solemn. It was like he just ran a marathon and lost. “I thought you guys were just friends…”
“We’ve been friends for three months. Last night, I told her how I felt and she became something more.”
His eyes narrowed in concentration. “Three months? You mean two.”
“Actually…I met her before Thanksgiving. I’m a customer at The Grind. We went on one date, and I really liked her. But when she hit on me, I assumed she just wanted to hook up. After I got to know her, I realized she wasn’t that kind of girl. So, we became friends instead. But somewhere down the road…everything changed.”
He rubbed his chin. “I can’t believe this…”
“I wanted to tell you myself before you heard it from somewhere else. I know I broke a rule…don’t go after your friend’s sister but…she’s the only girl I’ve ever felt this way about. Obviously, I don’t want this to ruin our friendship. If it does, I’m sorry. But I have to have her—at any cost.”
He turned his gaze back to me, and the look was endless. He was tongue-tied. “Do what you have to do.”
“You’re okay with this?”
He stared at the table before he turned his gaze back to me. “Does it matter?”
“I’d like to know.”
“I’m assuming she told you what happened to our parents?”
I nodded.
“My dad isn’t around so I’m responsible for her. It’s a job I never wanted to have but…you do what you must. I pick on her a lot but…I really do love her. My parents’ deaths were harder on her than they were for me because she’s younger. I just don’t want to watch her go through any more pain.”
“I won’t hurt her.”
He shook his head slightly. “I’m not saying you’re a bad guy…but you aren’t boyfriend material.”
“I am with her.” Fidelity wasn’t what scared me. “I hope you and I can move past this.”
He pushed his beer aside like he was done with it. “I need some time. And I need to talk to her.”
“Do whatever you have to do. You’re a good friend, Axel. I really want to keep it that way.”
He stared at me but didn’t reciprocate the words. “Does she feel the same way?”
I nodded.
“She said that?”
“She doesn’t need to tell me. I know how she feels. If you have to say the words for someone to know you love them, then you aren’t doing a good job of showing it.”
He rose from the booth in a much worse mood than when I first spotted him. “I’ll see you around…”
I watched him go, wondering if we would still be friends when I saw him again.
Company
Francesca
Marie was at work, and I was making cupcakes in the kitchen. Our oven wasn’t state-of-the-art but it did the job. Hawke was coming over later tonight after he finished his workout and showered.
A knock on the door made me almost tip the bowl over. My heart leapt in joy at the thought of seeing Hawke. I wanted to throw my arms around him and kiss him the second he walked in the door.
But when I looked through the peephole, I saw Axel.
Dammit.
He must know. That’s why he looked so pissed off. I steadied my nerves before I opened the door. “What’s up, bro?”
He glared at me as he walked inside. “Shut the hell up, Frankie.”
I shut the door and started counting down the minutes until he left. “You can throw a hissy fit about this all you want, but it won’t change anything. Hawke and I are together no matter how big of a whiny bitch you are.”
The pissed off look on his face told me he wished I were a boy just so he could punch me. “You don’t know him the way I do.”
“I know everything about him. Hawke has never misled me about the type of guy he was.”
“Then why the hell would you want to be with him?”
“Because he isn’t like that with me. And he only does those things because he’s miserable.”
“Believe me, when he’s having a threesome, he’s not miserable.”
I ignored the jab. “Axel, stay out of it.”
“I would love to stay out of it. I would love not to care. Believe me, I wish this wasn’t my problem. But Dad’s dead so that responsibility falls to me. I think you’re an annoying brat, but I still care about you. I don’t want this guy to hurt you like he’s hurt all the others.”
“He’s not like that with me.”
“Until he gets bored of monogamy in a few weeks and finds some blonde at a bar.”
I put my hands on my hips and refused to be intimidated by Hawke’s past. “For being so close to him, you don’t speak very highly of him. And if he’s as terrible as you claim, what does that say about you?”
“I’m not the one pretending to be something I’m not. People know exactly what they’re getting from me.”
“Well, things are different with me. Why is that so hard to believe?”
“Because…” He couldn’t find an explanation. “It just is. He knows you aren’t easy, so he’ll play the game until he gets what he wants.”
“You really think Hawke would do that to me?” I asked incredulously. “He’s the most loyal person I know. There’s so much you don’t know about him.”
“But I know how many women he’s been with. You want to know the number?”
“No.” I kept my stance in the kitchen. “I don’t care about the number. Because I’m not just another number. I’m the only one that counts.”
Axel shook his head slightly. “You guys are acting like Romeo and Juliet right now.”
“Psh.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Romeo and Juliet have nothing on us.”
Axel pulled out a chair and sat down. “I’m not the bad guy—honestly.”
“It’s coming off that way.”
“I just want the best for you. And I don’t think it’s him.”
“Well, it is. He’s the one, Axel.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “What did you just say?”
I hadn’t even told Hawke, but I didn’t need to. I was pretty sure he knew exactly how I felt even if I never said it. “He’s the one. End of story.”
“You’re twenty-two years old.”
“And what does that matter?”
“You don’t know anything about love. You’ve only had, like, four boyfriends.”
“And I don’t need to be with five to understand how I
feel.”
“He’s a lot older than you.”
“Five years,” I said. “That’s nothing in the span of a lifetime.”
He ran his fingers through his hair anxiously. “I feel like you guys rushed into this.”
“You’re acting like we’re getting married or something,” I snapped. “We’re just dating. And we’ve been talking for three months. I know Hawke, all the good and the bad. You think I don’t know he used to fuck anything that moved? You think I don’t know about his regulars? You think I’m totally clueless to that?”
Axel stared at me with a defeated look on his face. “And you don’t care about that?”
“No, I don’t,” I said firmly. “Because that’s not who he really is. There’s so much more to him.” I poked him hard in the chest. “And there’s so much more to you too.” I grabbed the pan Hawke made just for me and shoved it into the oven before I set the timer. “You should go, Axel. Hawke will be here soon, and I don’t want to waste my evening justifying my relationship to my stupid brother.”
He slowly rose from the chair with a somber look on his face. “I meant well.” The sincerity in his voice hit me right in the chest.
“I know…”
“I hope I’m wrong. I really do. But Hawke…never mind.”
I didn’t need to hear what else he had to say. “I really hope this doesn’t ruin your friendship.”
“It doesn’t,” he said. “If this is really what you say it is…how can I be mad?”
At least he was coming around. “Thank you.”
He headed to the door. “Well, have a good night.”
“I’ll tell Hawke you said hi.”
He gave me a quick nod before he walked out. “Thanks.”
***
Hawke knocked before he walked in the door. “Something smells good. And it’s not the muffins.” He walked inside wearing jeans and a gray sweater. Even in a baggy sweater, he looked sexy as hell.
“It might be me. I’m covered in butter and sugar.”
“Mmm…” He walked across the kitchen as he approached me. The look reminded me of a wild tiger on the hunt. I was his prey, and there was nowhere for me to hide. His hands went to my hips and he gripped them tightly before he leaned down and looked at me.
