by Laine Watson
“Then what’s wrong with Carson? You swoon over him, or your words are swoony words, but they come out as insults—it’s so weird. You keep comparing him—you’ve brought him up way more times than you’ve mentioned Sawyer and Owen.”
“Eh—nothing is wrong with him. He’s not wild enough. Like I said we’re friends. Someone will appreciate his dorky sex appeal. It’s not for me. But I mean...” I giggled, leaning forward, “His pink pearl play does put me in a coma-like state. I will say that. If he wasn’t so timid, and vanilla, I’d probably consider him. But Zo, he’s a man. Carson is still a boy he’d probably call me all kinds of dirty bitches if he knew what I really wanted him to do to me.”
“Wait, why do you think Carson would think any of that?”
“Come on, Kira. You’ve seen him. Even though his dick is magic. That’s all his own. It’s like princess and fairytale magic. I’m not the princess, I’m the kingdom’s harlot who works under the castle who the prince doesn’t want anyone knowing he’s screwing. He’d never fuck the princess like that, she’s too delicate and beautiful, but the handmaid who sleeps on hay, he doesn’t care about her. He’ll fuck her until he’s satisfied, and who cares how she feels or what she wants,” I said, hiding my eyes.
“But, earlier you said Carson was way too caring.”
I couldn’t help but shift uncomfortably in my seat. I knew she was staring at me, but I didn’t want our gazes to meet. I might have cried and spilled all the things I’ve pushed down inside of me about Carson.
“You’re not making any sense. That whole analogy you just did was contradictory as hell.”
“Right, and I want to be fucked. Hard, for a really long time, and then harder.” I gulped and shut my eyes painfully, “I’m just not right for him. He deserves someone like him.”
I finally looked up at her and sighed sharply, easing my breath out closer to the end.
Kira screwed up her lips. “Well that’s too bad,” she said, though I felt in my spirit that she wanted to say something else. Somehow I knew she was sparing my feelings.
“So you like the relationship you have with Zo? And he does what you want, gives you a relationship that is based on sex?”
“Yeah.” I smiled proudly, hiding the little bit of insecurity that statement brought to surface. Hearing it from someone else sounded differently than when I said it. I shook off my diffidence. “He’s in town. So tonight I’ll get to have hot, real, passionate sex, and then we go about our lives until the next time.” I wiggled my shoulders back and forth, indicating how happy with my life I was.
Kira stared at me in my eyes, maybe she saw something, I had been trying to hide.
“Is that what you want? From the conversation we’ve been having, it doesn’t sound like it.”
“It is what I want. I told you I don’t want to belong to anyone. Even if I love him this is my idea of a functioning relationship—amazing dick with no strings attached. Perfect. I mean I guess it would be okay if he spent a little more time arousing me. But he really doesn’t need to.” I chuckled nervously.
“Uh, huh,” she said, as if she had notated something. She narrowed her eyes at me. “Just to be sure. Zo’s the kind of man you want?”
I shot my eyes over to her meeting her gaze. “Yeah.”
“Okay,” she said, straightening herself and scooting to the edge of the sofa. “I’m going to be as transparent as possible. What it really sounds like you want is for Carson to fuck you like Zo does. And for Zo to do the same kind of foreplay Carson does. It sounds like you want them both in one.”
“N—no I don’t. I like them separate, Carson is a friend, Zo is a lover. Two separate things.”
“You don't sound like you're sure.”
“I am.” I pouted, glancing down at the coffee table, remembering my phone.
“Is it possible that you might be in love with Carson and just not—”
“No it’s not. I’m tired of coming back to this.” I frown, pouting out my bottom lip, frustration about my demeanor.
My phone buzzed. I knew it was Zo. Perfect timing because I was done talking. I checked the text and put my phone in my pocket preparing to leave.
Zo: I’m here.
“What if Carson’s in love with you?” she asked.
My heart fell into my feet and my blood ran cold. I took a deep breath and turned around to her, grabbing my purse.
“He’s not,” I said, showing no emotion as I rose to my feet. “This is how it is now. If it changes, then I'll deal with it when it does.” I sighed. “Zo's outside. I have to go. Lock the door when you leave,” I said, rushing out of the apartment.
“Kin,” Kira called with conviction in her voice.
“Yeah?” I turned around to her with the door open.
“We should hang out again soon,” she said as if she had more to say.
“We should.” I gulped, my face serious for a moment.
I smiled with a tinge of disappointment. I knew even if I needed to hear her take on things, I might not like it. “Bye,” I said hauntingly and closed the door.
Chapter 25: Loving Zo
I hopped in the car, excited to see Zo's face again. But, my heart also beat rapidly for another reason. After talking about Zo and everyone else with Kira, her questions stung in my skin and pinched my heart as I recalled her words: “What if Carson’s in love with you? I remembered sitting with Carson and him asking me if I wanted to go out. This made me uncomfortable. I know for a fact Carson has always wanted to be more exclusive. Why couldn’t it be someone who would actually want to be with me? Why couldn’t Zo want to be with me?
But What if Zo did want to be more exclusive? Seeing Zo's face, I knew the real question was what if I wanted to be more exclusive? What if that was something I had been wanting for a long time and knew I couldn’t have it with Carson, so I suppressed the desire? Was it possible now, with Zo, now that I had found someone who liked me for me? I had to find out.
“Hey.” Zo grinned, greeting me with a peck on the lips.
I kissed him back. “Hey.” I smiled girlishly, a sweet sigh escaping my lips.
That was all he said for a while as we drove. I lay back in the seat, staring out of the window as I thought about everything, something I never had the time to do. Probably because I kept myself so busy with boys. There were a few things I prided myself in—being a dirty little slut was one of them. In fact, it was the one at the top of my list. Granting myself my dirty little wishes was something that fulfilled me. But was I fulfilled?
Reminiscing about Owen I thought about how masculine and stoic he was. Then I thought about Sawyer, and all the deliciously ungodly, debouched things he did to me, and how much I loved it. And I let a thought slip in about Carson, his gentle touch, his rough but caring thrusts. I breathed in an exasperated breath, easing it out to calm down trying to find another thought that could replace the one about Carson. But then I asked myself: Didn't Zo do all those same things to me? Didn't it feel better when he did it? Did I not want it more from him?
I told myself he did.
I told myself I did.
I told myself all that was missing was that overly intense romantic shit Carson pulled and I could do without it.
I looked over at him as he drove.
He was wild and free, but I still felt safe around him and never like I didn’t deserve to be with him.
Being with Zo was like having the world spin around me; marvelous and all-consuming. It was like that with Carson too, but when the world stopped spinning I still felt good about myself with Zo, with Carson I had to hold back. I was tired of holding back and feeling like trash. Feeling like I was sleeping with someone who, if they knew who I really was, would have been one of those people who spread nasty—but true rumors about me and gave me the evil eye, looking down on me.
I sighed nervously and cleared my throat as I admired Zo’s perfectly chiseled face. “Zo, you have no idea how happy I am to have your love in my life,” I
said, looking deeply into his eyes as he turned to face me.
He returned my genuine confession with a slight smirk, as if I had been overly dramatic. “‘Frailty! Thy name is woman,’” he mocked, a stinging sarcasm in his voice.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked disappointedly as he pulled in the parking lot of his apartment.
“It’s from Shakespeare.”
Huh? I don’t know anything about Shakespeare. Was that a compliment or an insult? I pouted my lips and folded my arms as I narrowed my eyes out the window. At least I understand Carson when he talks. The first time I say something meaningful to him and I’m no more the wiser of how he feels about me than I was before. I gazed firmly out of the window. I’ll try again.
“Forget it, c'mon!” He got out of the car and opened the door for me.
He also opened the door to the apartment and I stepped inside behind him. As the door closed, I smiled.
“Every time I come over here, I'm like, ‘damn, you have good taste.’ It's decorated beautifully for a second home, you know that? You got a girl staying here?” I joked, writing off my earlier emotion. I stared at his beautifully simple apartment. The white fur rug underneath the shiny black, rectangular coffee table, complimented the black and white abstract artwork over the black leather sofa and on the walls and down the hall. The kitchen with his sleek black counters and pure white cabinets and black shiny appliances. Even the dark hardwood floor was spot clean and perfect.
He brushed off what I said with a small smile. “I have good taste in some other things. Want to see?” Zo smiled seductively, laying his wallet on the counter in the kitchen.
“Things? What things?” I smirked, playing dumb.
“Um, you know, the kind of shit you like—vibrators, dildos, new shit too. I bought some clit clamps for you, baby,” Zo said with a lusty look in his eyes.
“Oh, my God! When are we going to try them? Never heard of clit clamps, but I'm so excited for everything else!” I said, positively brimming with sexual energy now.
“Well, it's been awhile,” he said, glancing over at me.
I pressed my body against his as he continued speaking.
“Why don't we try something new? We always have great sex. I was thinking we could turn up the heat.”
“Oh, how?” I asked, absentmindedly playing with his fiery red hair.
“Well, do you like bondage?”
“Bondage? I’ve been tied up and gagged before. Do you mean that?” I asked, my whole body becoming aroused, though my mind questioned if I could handle it with Zo.
“I mean, something more. But... that too.”
“Oh...” I say wide-eyed.
“Wow, you've never really had anyone take you to your limits and pass them, have you? Your cheeks are flushed.” He smirked patronizingly. “I love tying a girl up, and I want to try it with you. Can you handle some hardcore shit?”
Hardcore shit? I thought I was pretty well informed on all things dirty. My lips curled into a devilish smile.
“I don't really like the thought of genital clamps. They sound like they might hurt.” I gulped, my heart racing.
“Yeah, they should. I fuck you hard ... doesn't it hurt? But it feels good too? I want to hear you scream. Will you try it once for me?” He probed, his hand stroking the back of my neck.
“Um ...” When he puts it that way...
“C'mon. I bet you don't even know why I came down here.”
“To see me?”
He laughed a little. “Yeah, but also to see some of my friends. It's my birthday.”
His birthday? Wow, I really don't know a lot about him. When I thought about it, I realized I did not even know how old he was. That realization quickly lost precedence over a girlish thought, And ... our birthdays are in the same month.
“Oh. Happy Birthday. My birthday is in a few weeks too.” I smiled, though he didn’t acknowledge what I said. “How old are you? Are you and your parents going to—”
“Is that really important? All I want is my present—you, screaming as I do whatever the fuck I want to you,” he said, his strong hand massaging the back of my neck more aggressively.
“Yeah, th-that sounds...” I breathed in. “... amazing.” I gulped again. “But, I'd only ever do the clit clamps for you. I want you to be happy. You know my favorite way to be fucked is by thick, long dick—your dick to be exact.”
“Good girl,” Zo said with a wicked smile. I quivered, even further into submission. “So, now close your eyes, lie down on the table and let me tie your hands and feet.”
“Wait, what? Right now?”
“Now!” he commanded, opening the drawer on the coffee table and pulling out thick, black elastic bands made of rubber.
I sat down on the table like the good girl I was, and waited for him. I breathed in sharply when I saw them. He took my arms and tied them above my head, and then tied my hair in a ponytail with another one of the bands.
“First, we need a safeword.”
“Okay.”
“You ready?” he asked, his eyes filled with a desperate, depraved lust as he undressed me.
I nodded innocently. Only in Zo's presence did I ever feel remotely innocent. As much shameless sex as I've been involved in, he still pushed and continued to push my boundaries.
Quietly, he cracked his neck and exhaled slowly, “Okay, if there’s anything you don’t like, give it a minute before you say the safeword. A little pain or discomfort might lead you to the greatest orgasm you’ve ever had.”
I smiled, “What’s our safeword?”
He leaned down beside me and checked on the bands around my wrists and tugged on them, “Moon.”
My lips parted and my eyes widened slowly as my chest caved in. My eyes dart frantically over the room. Moon? I gulped.
“W—why moon?”
“Well,” he said, continuing to secure the bands, “it’s been said that I’m crazy.”
Immediately, the tenseness left from me and I giggled. “You are kind of crazy. I guess I am too.”
He glanced at me with a sideways smirk, “Yeah. It’s a tongue-in-cheek reference to the old belief that the moon makes you crazy; every hear the expression, ‘Everyone's crazy tonight, must be a full moon?’”
“I have,” I said, smiling girlishly at him. “You always say things that if you don’t explain them,” I lowered my eyes and sighed, “I wouldn’t understand.”
“Don’t look like that,” he said raising my chin with his fingers, and my eyes drifted right to his. For the slightest moment he reminded me of Carson and his sweet nature, “I read a lot and I was a history major, lit minor so... Comes with the territory.”
I marveled at him, accepting that I wanted to love him and be loved by him.
He wiggled the bands a bit tighter.
“Ah, it hurts. Don't tie it that tight, please,” I moaned, slightly uncomfortable.
“For instances like that, you say ‘moon.’ Haven’t you ever used a safeword?”
I gulped. No. I haven’t. I liked that, he knew things I didn’t. It made me feel more innocent and even if I owned my dirty slut tag, every girl wants to feel innocent sometimes. At least, I did.
He only laughed, ignoring my pleas. He opened my legs with one hand and took his index finger straight down the crease of my vagina, before abruptly stopping. My mouth watered for him as I begged him, in my mind, to keep going. Reading my thoughts, he began swirling his finger around my pearl, arousing me. I squirmed.
“Mmm,” he grunted. “Already getting wet, little slut,” he taunted. “Be right back,” he said suddenly, walking away as I waited, bound and helpless.
I watched him disappear down a hall. I closed my legs a little, waiting for him to return. He reappeared holding a pink, vibrating sex toy in a strange shape in one hand and a series of other plastic toys in the other.
“I guess we don't have to use the clit clamps.” He smiled. “Open up, baby.” He knelt down and pushed the lubricated pink vib
rating toy inside of me.
I whined a little as I felt the buzzing toy push past my wet lips. He watched my vagina and kept my legs opened firmly. The buzzing pink toy felt good, but I wanted his thick dick even more.
It was hard to think straight as he thrust the toy inside of me so fast I thought I was about to have an orgasm. Suddenly, he was all over my pussy, licking me, grabbing my thighs in his hands and pushing them apart. I moaned, thoroughly enjoying the tag team of his mouth and the vibrating toy, but I wasn't screaming yet.
“Hmm. I think we need to do a little more. You're not begging for me to stop.” He smirked. “Let's try them both. How 'bout it? The vibrator and dildo?”
Before I answered him, I felt the purple jelly dildo push inside of me, parting my swollen lips. Now, I screamed. There were two toys inside of my tight, small hole, and it felt like my body was going to erupt in an indescribable wave of pleasure. I moaned louder, writhing under him when I came on his toys. I had never had an orgasm so quickly, and this violent orgasm had come within only half an hour of him manipulating my little pussy.
When my orgasm came, my box contracted so firmly and suddenly I thought it would push the toys out of me, but that did not happen.
Zo continued propelling the toys inside of me vigorously. I had become so tight that I noticed him struggle to thrust them into me, and it began to hurt. Despite the pain, the toys also brought me such pleasure. In a confused haze of immense pleasure and pain, I screamed and tried to break free from his grasp. The more I screamed, the harder Zo pushed his toys inside of me, and the more aroused he became.
Soon, real tears began to pour from my face as I wailed, thinking he would never pull his toys out of me. It was strange, I wanted to yell at him to stop, wiggle away, something, but just as much as I wanted to do that, I didn't want it to stop. If I'm being truly honest, I wanted more. After what felt like hours, he finally abided by my pleas and slipped them out of my spent pussy and slung them across the room. Then, he climbed up on the table over me, his dick as erect as ever. Almost immediately, he began to fuck me.
