by Renard, Loki
Blaze hasn’t been around, and she hasn’t been answering my messages. I can’t really blame her. She’s been chased off so many times I sometimes wonder if I’ll see her again.
Looking at Vicious, I find myself wondering if I made the right choice. I’m addicted to him, but what future do we have? He doesn’t want what I want. Anything wholesome or emotionally rich is anathema to him. When we have sex, we fuck. He pounds into me and rips orgasms from me. I surrender to his brute animal strength and the ferocity of his desire.
We’re fucking now, joining in rough play where we push the boundaries of what we can take. Close to climax, he cradles my face in his hands, his cock pounding into me, the room full of the wet sound of his dick sliding in and out of me and the grunting moans we share between us. His eyes sear into mine as we connect at my cunt, him stretching me wide with stroke after stroke until we scream release and collapse, panting and sweating on the bed, momentarily drained of pain.
“I have to get out of here,” I breathe, one arm behind my head as sweat runs between my breasts and cum from between my thighs.
There are very few places I can safely go. Vicious doesn’t want me roaming loose, and I don’t want to be exposed to the general public either. I used to feel invisible when I was out in the world. Now I feel as though every eye is on me, and most of them feel malevolent.
“You can go to the salon,” he suggests, his voice rough with post-coital relief.
“The salon? That’s where I was taken from. You do realize Coco wanted to kill me.”
“Coco was only trying to distract the doctor,” he says. “She’s a very useful, very resourceful woman, that one.”
“Not resourceful or useful enough to stop me from being taken in the first place.”
“She was outmanned.”
“There was just one guy!”
“That you saw.”
I scowl at him. I never want to see Coco Shantay again. She let me be kidnapped under her nose. I even sort of suspect that she helped me be kidnapped. Vicious won’t hear that though. According to him, she was a hero in the piece.
“What’s to stop her being outmanned again?”
“Me,” he says. “You don’t go anywhere without several of my guys with you.”
“Like, bodyguards?”
“Not like bodyguards. Actual bodyguards. Four of them.” He reaches out and draws a finger down the side of my cheek. “You don’t need to be frightened of the world at large, Kitty. I’m going to keep you safe. Just make sure I know where you are and what you’re doing.”
“I’m not going to be a very useful courier for you if I have to be accompanied everywhere.”
“Oh don’t worry about that,” he smirks. “I’ll find a use for you.”
I’m sure of that.
* * *
I don’t know if Coco is my friend, my rival, or something in between. Last time I saw her she had a Desert Eagle in her hand and she was cursing me out, but I do trust Vicious’ assessment. He wouldn’t let me go anywhere he thought was dangerous, so I grab a shower and I leave the apartment alone for the first time since I found myself on a madman’s medical table.
Four bodyguards turn out to be a lot of bodyguards. Two ride in the car with me. One is ahead. Another one is behind, both in separate cars. I am driven to the salon in a cavalcade of stoic men, none of whom make conversation with me. I get the sense they’re almost afraid to. I am stamped in some intangible way with Vicious’ mark, and it makes me untouchable.
The salon has seen some additions since I was here last. It’s now fortified with bars on the windows and the doors, and a big pink sign which reads NO SOLICITATION OR BRAIN SURGERY. Given recent events, it’s probably fair, but I doubt it makes things clear to her usual customers. Assuming she has any. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a customer in here, let alone a usual one.
“Hello?” I call out as I go through the front door. Two of the bodyguards come with me, their broad shouldered bodies making the small salon feel even smaller.
Nobody replies, but I can hear a clattering in the back.
Going through a bright rainbow beaded curtain, I find Coco hunched over an old laptop. Her platinum hair is thrown back over one shoulder. Her eyes are locked on the dim glow of the fly spotted screen. Her long, heavily jeweled fingers are stabbing at the keyboard as if it owes her money. She’s dangerous. I know that about her. I don’t know why Vicious trusts her and right now I’m not sure why I even came, but here I am. I remind myself that there are guards this time. I’m safe.
“Hi…”
The knot in my stomach remains there as I watch her. Coco has an energy like nobody I have ever known. It’s frantic, but focused. I guess some would call it manic, but it never seems to fade. She is a livewire of pure intensity. I kind of envy her for it.
“Oh, there you are,” Coco says without looking up, her fingers never stopping flying. “Sorry, Kitty girl, I have to do this. You’re not going to believe it, but PEOPLE are saying RUDE THINGS on the INTERNET!”
“Oh?”
She straightens and tosses her head, pointing at the screen. “Someone here is saying Butt Badgers 69: The Fapvenge is trash, well, you know what I say is trash? I say that line where your contour looks like you used crayon is trash, Samantha! You call that a profile pic? I’ve seen Victorian after death portraits with more life in the eyes.”
“Uhm, Coco?”
She holds up one long finger. “Hold on a second. I need to find a .gif with a pig and a cape and a Christmas cake, that’s going to show this bitch who is boss. Oh you do not out meme me, honey.”
I take a seat on a nearby stool and I let Coco’s madness wash over me. I can still see two big suited men in the salon. I know there are two out the back too. Those silent sentinels barely even look at me, but they do make me feel safe. Nobody is getting past Vicious’ defenses now. I’m probably the best defended person in the whole city.
My thoughts drift inexorably back to Vicious. I don’t know if I’ll ever have a thought without reference to him. Maybe he doesn’t want to make plans for the future. Maybe he’s not father material. Maybe he’s not even long term relationship material. But right now, he’s all I’ve got.
“Okay,” Coco says, emerging from her online debate. “Right. Okay. What are we doing?”
Oh my hair. Of course. She thinks I’m here for my hair. Makes sense.
“I know you liked the darker color, but I’m thinking maybe something different. Maybe a red?”
Coco looks me up and down. “Red, huh? You talking copper red or fire truck red?”
“Just not this blah brown. It didn’t save me anyway did it?”
“True,” she admits. “Alright, Kitty girl, let’s make this look fun. You want red? How about a rainbow ombre? Really go all out? We can do some extensions at the same time.”
I think about how horrified Vicious will probably be when I show up not looking like his muted double, but with long colorful hair all the colors of the visible spectrum.
“Let’s do it!”
It takes hours to do, but as my hair is processing, Coco entertains me with updates from her online feuds with total strangers.
“Coco…”
“Yes?”
“Those things you said to me when I was in that warehouse with that fucked up doctor. Did you mean them?”
She looks at me and shrugs with a wild smile. “I had to say something. Couldn’t stand there and tell you how amazing and beautiful and gorgeous you are. That wouldn’t have been convincing…”
“Did you have to be convincing? You had a gun…”
“Of course I had a gun, but I didn’t want to tip him off that I was on your side.”
“Oh. Uh… why?”
“Because I might have to work with him again in the future. In this lifestyle, you don’t piss off a brain surgeon who is willing to work after hours in a rusty warehouse.” She shakes a mascara at me. “Don’t forget that. This life i
s all about alliances.”
I don’t have any alliances, except Blaze, but I’m pretty sure she’s really fucking mad at me. I’m kind of mad at her too, honestly. I can’t believe she came barging into Vicious’ place again, practically begging for him to kick her ass. What the hell was she thinking?
“I never thought of this as a lifestyle.”
“Oh it is,” Coco says, pulling the wand free and swiping it over her lashes, which certainly don’t need it. “There’s rules, customs… oh you bitch!”
She dashes her mascara down and grabs her laptop again, tapping furiously
“I swear to god, these bitches,” she curses.
Finally, a lot of online arguing later, my hair is done. It looks amazing. I look like a rainbow grew out of my head. I love it and so does Coco.
“You look like a little pony fucked a care bear,” she declares proudly. “Go home and show your man.”
I look around and I find that at some point, the bodyguards have gone. I didn’t even notice them leave. A chill runs down my spine. Something is wrong.
The door bell tinkles as the door swings open. A tall, blond man with a brilliant smile steps in. He’s handsome, charming, and he brings natural warmth with him which I am in dire need of at the moment.
“Slick! What are you doing here?”
“Vicious sent me,” he says. “Nice hair.”
“But the guys…” I gesture around and then shrug.
“Don’t worry about them,” he smiles. “They were due for a break. I’ll take you home, we’ll take my car.”
There’s no reason no to accept, and actually I’m glad to take a ride from him. At least Slick will talk to me, and I get the feeling there’s something going on between him and Blaze. He’s not the sort of guy who would typically be her type, but he has a charm about him that makes him almost anyone’s type. I hope he has a thick skin, because that girl is all sharp edges. Maybe he’ll tell me how she’s doing.
I say goodbye to Coco and head out to Slick’s car.
“Thanks,” I say, getting in. “Rather get a ride from you than the silent henchmen.”
“They do a good job,” he says as he gets in his side.
“Yeah, but would it kill them to strike up a little conversation?”
“Maybe not,” he admits, his cheek dimpling as he smiles. “You like to be liked, don’t you, Kitty.”
“Who doesn’t?”
“Vicious.”
“True, but he’s weird.”
“He’s unique,” Slick agrees. “I don’t know if weird is the word.”
“What route are you taking?” Looking out the window, I notice we’re not heading back to Vicious’ place, at least, not by any route I know.
“Oh, I have a couple of errands to run,” he says. “You don’t mind, do you?”
“Hell no, I don’t mind, but Vicious might. He was super insistent. You must go straight to the salon and then straight back,” I say, mimicking his accent as best I can.
“I’ll take care of Vicious for you,” Slick winks.
I smile and settle back in the passenger seat. I have to say, it feels nice to be out and about, being somewhat normal.
“Seriously great hair, by the way,” Slick says as we head over the bridge.
“Thanks. I was pretty much getting over the Vicious cut.”
He chuckles and together we wind across town, making easy small talk. I try my best to forget the humiliating positions he’s seen me in, and he seems to be doing his best not to remind me of them. Nice guy. Real nice guy.
“Your errand is out of the city? We going to New Jersey or something?”
“Something,” he nods, his expression not changing one little bit as we start heading out of NYC.
I’m starting to feel that uncomfortable tightness in my chest and stomach. The one that tells me something bad is about to happen. I don’t see Vicious being alright with Slick picking me up and taking me this far.
I pull out my phone, just to check in with Vicious. As I do, Slick winds the driver’s window down. I’m too slow to react as he reaches out, plucks the phone from my fingers and tosses it out.
“What the fuck!”
“It’s okay,” he says soothingly.
“You threw my fucking phone out the window! In what universe is that okay? Stop the car and let me out.”
“Can’t do that, Katherine.”
Shit just got real. He used my full legal name. If the weird car trip and the phone abduction weren’t enough to trigger me, that is.
I undo my seatbelt. “I will jump out of this car if you don’t stop,” I threaten, meaning it.
“We’re doing sixty,” he says. “You’ll die.”
“Recent experience has taught me that may not be the worst thing that can happen to me when I’m being abducted.”
“Just calm down and put your seatbelt back on. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“That’s EXACTLY what someone who was going to hurt me would say.”
“Kitty,” he says, his voice deep and strong.
“When this car hits traffic, I am out.”
“Good to know,” he smirks. “Always a bright idea to tell someone your escape plan before you do it.”
“It’s not so much an escape plan as it is escaping a psycho who threw a thousand dollar’s worth of equipment out of the window. That was a fucking dick move!”
“You sound a lot like Blaze when you’re angry,” he notes. “I mean, you sound like her baseline.”
“What have you done to Blaze?”
“Nothing recently. Why, do you think I should?” He flashes that white smile at me and I don’t know what to make of him, or this.
“Let me go, Slick.”
“I can’t,” he says. “And trust me, you don’t want me to. I’m about to give you the one thing you’ve wanted since Vicious picked you up.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
Those blue eyes capture mine. “Answers.”
“What kind of answers?”
“All of them, Kitty. I’m going to tell you exactly why Vicious took you, and exactly what he needs from you. I’m going to tell you things that will shock you, and things that will make you angry, but I’m going to tell you them, because it’s time you knew.”
Hm. Maybe I’ll put the whole ‘throw myself from the car’ plan on hold.
5
Vicious
The first fucking time I let Kitty out of my sight, she disappears. Somehow, four bodyguards managed to miss her leaving Coco’s salon and I truly don’t understand how that is possible. Coco swears she didn’t see anything, and I tend to believe her, considering she knows what will happen if I find out she was in any way involved.
“Where the fuck is she!?”
The bodyguards are standing in front of me, looking guilty and saying very little. They’ve fucked up badly, to the point they’ll never work for me again. It’s a pity. Some of them have been with me for years. They’ve never let me down this badly before. I’d like to wring every single one of their fucking necks, and I may do it if I don’t find out where she is soon.
“What’s going on?”
Slick saunters into the apartment, hands in his pockets, a casual smile on his face. He’s been in a good mood lately. Right now, that mood grates on me.
“It was him.” One of the bodyguards speaks up, pointing a finger at my good friend.
“It was who?” For a second, I am too stupid to realize what the guard is saying.
“Him.” He points at Slick again, his finger shaking. “He told us to leave. He threatened us with arrest.”
Slick stands there, that smile never leaving his face as my bodyguard pins the whole clusterfuck on him.
I look at him, then back at the bodyguards. “Get out of here,” I bark at them.
They scurry out of the place as quickly as possible, leaving Slick standing there far too bravely for a man who has done what I think he has done.
“Where is Ki
tty?”
I wait to see if he’s going to lie to me. There is no fucking way he just betrayed me on this level. Not after everything we have been through. Not after all it took for him to gain my trust in the first place. Not when he knows what I will do to any man who tries to take her from me.
“She’s at a black site in Pennsylvania.”
Oh for fuck’s sake. There are no words.
“It was time to call her in,” he says. “You know it, and I know it. I did what was necessary.”
“You called her in. You got her picked up the goddamn motherfucking CIA?” My fist meets the table hard enough to crack the wood and bruise my knuckles. This fucker…
“Technically, she was picked up when you first grabbed her,” he says. “You knew this was going to have to happen one day. You knew the agency wanted their turn with her.”
“One day, yes. When I decided, not when you decided.”
“That’s not how this works, and you know it, Arthur. I gave you two weeks with her. That’s longer than you deserved, and far longer than was good for her.”
“Get her back.”
“You know I can’t do that.”
My fists are clenched. I make an effort to unclench them, calm myself. Every instinct in my body wants me to rip him apart with my bare hands, but I have to get control of myself.
“My people wanted her,” he explains. I couldn’t give them any more excuses. She wasn’t being used in the field. She was being kept as your personal pleasure toy, and it’s not CIA policy to let the material play with the material.”
I let out a dark, mirthless laugh. I’ve been an idiot. In an effort to protect my ego, I left myself forget who and what Slick really is. Five years ago, I got myself the most shameful thing anyone in the underground can have: a handler.
I resisted the CIA for a long time, until Slick managed to convince me that our relationship could be mutually beneficial. Since that time, he has been content to play second fiddle, to be effectively at my beck and call. The fact that means he also tracks practically everything I do is a secondary effect I allowed myself to overlook. In five years, he has never once fucked me over. We had a real partnership. Until now.
