“Is there anything else you’d like to know, Ms. Powell?”
She grinned saying, “If something else comes to mind, I’ll be sure to ask.”
“I’m sure you will!” he quipped. “Would you like another drink?”
“Actually, yeah. How about you?”
“Absolutely.” He marveled at how relaxed they both became and it had little to do with the drinks they consumed. This was their routine. They could easily chat and spar intellectually. Once the conversation flowed, one or the other would transition to matters more personal. He decided to wait her out, especially given the fact she hadn’t just stumbled upon his session. She made a conscious decision to be there, even though she didn’t call ahead to let him know she’d be coming to the city.
“So, I understand from Dave things are still going well since you struck out to start your firm.”
“I can’t complain. Things are very busy right now. I’ll be bringing in another attorney soon.”
“Congratulations! Let’s toast to your continued success.” She raised her glass and he tipped his glass towards her as she finished off the last of her drink before setting the glass on the table.
Michael motioned for the waitress to bring them another round. “And congratulations to you on your new role.”
“Thank you,” she smiled extending eye contact with him before looking away. “You look great, Michael…and happy.” She raised her eyes to meet his once again.
He leaned in and softly replied, “So do you.”
The pause between them was their first as each began the transition to determine how the rest of their evening would go. On one level it was uncomfortable yet expected. He decided to get things back on track by simply asking her about her family. Talking about them always seemed to animate her. His tactic worked and once again she became more relaxed.
Unlike his family, Janine had come from a working class background. She was an only child of a widowed mother who relocated to Charlotte to be closer to extended family. Her stories about them let him know how close-knit they were and the pivotal roles aunts and uncles as well as her grandparents played in her upbringing. A part of him envied the closeness she shared with her family. Regrettably, he never met them as much as he hoped to.
He loved being in her company, but he also knew whatever happened next between them was inevitably complicated. On one hand, he was very open to whatever direction she chose. On the other he, knew if he crossed into more intimate space with her the risk was high she’d leave him heartbroken again. There was little doubt Janine was his pleasure and pain.
“So…who else from the crew have you talked to lately?” she asked obviously trying to mitigate the rising sexual tension between them.
“I spent some time with Dave and his wife Amber during a visit out there. And you know Jamal and I stay in touch. What about you?” He wanted to give her the space she needed, but he could tell she was uncertain about how to proceed. Hell, for that matter so was he, but he remained measured watching her carefully.
“How is Jamal?” she asked.
“He’s good. He and Denise seem to be having babies like rabbits!”
She burst into laughter. “I know, I know! It’s crazy. God, I don’t even remember the last time I talked to Jamal. I should call him though. I do talk to Kelly or Monica at least once a week. Dave? We talk maybe once every couple of months.”
Fortunately, the waitress returned with the next round of drinks. They completed them much quicker than the first ones. Their small talk continued on a variety of topics from current events to popular culture. He knew the drinks were making her far more relaxed as it had him. But the differences in their demeanors under those circumstances were striking. She tended to get more animated with her wicked and flirty sense of humor rising to the surface along with her Carolina accent.
He tended to relax and become even more observant of little details around him. As he watched her, he noticed how she occasionally let her tongue touch the edge of her glass after sips before licking her lips. She’d rub the back of her neck before resting her chin on a bent wrist. She leaned towards him with crossed legs as her ankle made small circles before settling into a slight rhythmic tic. He knew she wasn’t remotely aware of the changes in her body language.
As she set her glass on the table, she asked “Are you hungry?”
“You could say that,” he replied with a smirk on his face.
“My goodness, Michael Josey,” she said acknowledging his innuendo without fully responding to it. He could tell all manner of thoughts were going through her fertile mind. She drew her hand to her lips and rubbed them with her forefinger then dropped her eyes before raising them to meet his again. And then she grinned broadly.
“Yes, Janine Powell,” opening the proverbial door for her. The question was whether or not she would move through it. He knew the little buzz she had simply relaxed her, but she was fully capable of making a judgment about what happened next between them.
“So what happens now?” she asked.
“What do you want to happen? Tell me what you want,” he said in a low and deliberate tone that was equally measured.
She surprised him when she stood and whispered in his ear exactly what she wanted. She didn’t mince words and was far more explicit than he thought she was capable of expressing. Even more stunning to him, she called him “Sir” before offering her hand to him. She hadn’t called him that since they were in law school. Even though they had been intimate since that time, their passionate lovemaking didn’t involve any play. It was simply the two of them relishing their stolen moments enjoying being together again. By calling him “Sir,” she was inviting a different level of engagement. For a split second it was he who was tentative. His experiences since they were a couple had expanded greatly. He wasn’t entirely sure she was ready for what she was asking of him. But he’d certainly find out, as would she.
“Are you sure about that?”
“Absolutely!”
When they were a couple, they explored pain elements, but her center was based more on restraint and a degree of sensory depravation. He used to tease her about always being in her head with a capacity to create entire scenarios in her imaginings. But the restraint and depravation had a different effect on her. As they explored it together, she shared it actually quieted and focused her mind on him and the sensations her body was experiencing. Both types of play greatly heighted her sexual pleasure and release. When they explored elements of pain together, she described it as her way of testing what her body was capable of doing—what it could endure— and it made her feel strong.
For him, his exchanges with her helped him better understand at the heart of the Dominant and Submissive relationship was an exchange of power. A Sub made a willful decision to trust their Dom with their entire being. And while play could take on a variety of forms, ultimately it was freeing oneself to another knowing neither of them would be damaged, either emotionally or physically. This was the ultimate rush he sought with his partners but rarely found.
For him, it was all based in whetting the mind and spirit of his Sub by pushing limits, discovering and gaining enlightenment. All sexuality was essentially rooted in the mind. The knowledge he derived from his interactions with her and other Subs confirmed his supposition. The body became secondary because it merely reflected the lust and desire ignited in the mind. Janine’s mind was extraordinary and to tap into it for a glimpse of her contradictions, passions, fears and creativity aroused him to epic levels. It always had.
He had no idea if she had found other partners over the years to continue her play. Admittedly, he never asked because he wasn’t sure he really wanted to know the answer. She was precious to him. They belonged to each other on some cosmic level. The thought of another man developing such levels of intimacy with her was difficult for him, even when he recognized his own hypocrisy.
He took her hand and together they walked to the elevators to retreat to her hot
el room. Once they arrived, their passion was unleashed. She didn’t wait for any instructions from him, instead she chose to service him every step of the way. She knew exactly what he liked and she was incredibly skilled. From the way she dropped to her knees, carefully unbuckling his pants before handing his belt to him. The way she gripped his hips as she moved her tongue across his balls sucking and gently pulling made his breath quicken as he struggled to pace himself. Then she slowly began licking up and down his shaft before taking his penis in her mouth all the while never taking her eyes off his. As good as it all felt, he was not about to let her make him cum so quickly.
With both hands, he took hold of her hair near the back of her head and pressed himself further into the back of her throat several times as she gagged at the pressure before removing his penis from her mouth. He bent down to kiss her and even though she seemed initially compliant, she again surprised him by pulling away from him. There was a hunger in her eyes making clear she was not relenting to him—at least not yet. He was intrigued and wanted to test her will on her decision.
Still holding her hair, he raised her to her feet and then took hold of her throat with one hand. She didn’t flinch, but instead she matched his fierceness with her own by placing her hand on his chest while attempting to walk him back towards the bed. He tightened his grip slightly and she pressed harder. He could tell it was becoming very uncomfortable for her. Yet she straightened her back, lowered her head against his grip and closed her eyes for a few seconds. When her eyes opened again, they reflected she was even more determined. She pushed harder against his chest and he released her. He had never had an exchange quite like it with her. It was extraordinary. Shit! She’s fucking remarkable! For all intent and purpose, she was topping from the bottom and she had never done it before. He was anxious to see what else she would do.
This was more than foreplay. Back and forth they went, the power moving freely between them every step of the way. Janine wasn’t usually verbal, but throughout she whispered or taunted him. This side of her was new to him even though in the past there were glimpses of her capacity. She had never released herself to experience it with him.
When they were both ready to actually fuck neither had control. Their primal sex reflected how totally lost they were to it all. At times it was gentle and others it was very rough, but all of it was freeing and exciting beyond compare. They were both sweaty with a mix of their cum over various parts of each other’s bodies. When he finally came for the last time, he was exhausted. After collapsing on top of her, they rolled to their sides facing one another.
As he lay beside her, she snuggled in closer to him, kissing his chest as if she were ready for more. He kissed her on the forehead glancing over her shoulder at the clock on the nightstand. It was nearing eleven and he knew he should leave with all he had to do. But as he looked down at her peaceful face and wildly mussed hair, all his love for her washed over him once more. He watched her closed eyes flutter knowing she was fading into her dreams. All his responsibilities and cares seemed to fade with them. He resigned himself to the reality there was truly no other place he wanted to be. He squeezed her tighter and drifted off to sleep with her securely in his arms.
The faint early morning sunlight woke him from his slumber and she was still pressed against his body. He hated to wake her, but he had to go. He didn’t want to leave without telling her Good bye.
“Baby?” he said as he gently nudged her. “Baby, wake up.”
She stirred a little before rolling to her opposite side away from him. He nudged her again.
“Janine, I have to go.”
“Mmmm. No you don’t,” she muttered back still half asleep.
“Yes, I do,” he replied.
She turned back to him and slowly opened her eyes. She looked a mess. The little bit of makeup she had on was smeared and her hair was all over her head, but she looked absolutely beautiful to him. He just smiled at her and said, “I have a lot of appointments today. I can’t cancel. I’m sure you have things you have to do too.”
“Will I see you later?” she asked groggily.
“Yes. Maybe a late dinner? I can get back over here around seven-thirty.”
“I’d like that.” She was becoming more alert and continued, “Where should I meet you?”
“I’ll pick you up and we’ll head out to a spot you might like. Does Moroccan sound good?”
“Perfect. Just call me when you’re close and I’ll meet you out front of the hotel so you don’t have to park.”
He reached down and kissed her again softly. She took hold of the back of his head trying to pull him on top of her, but he smiled through their kiss finally saying, “Later, Baby. Later.”
As hard as it was, he withdrew from her grasp and climbed out of the bed. He gathered his clothes and put them on. It was a little after six, which gave him plenty of time to get home to shower, shave, dress and be in his office well before eight.
“Okay, I’ll see you later tonight,” she said.
“Get a little more sleep while you can,” he replied before heading out the door.
CHAPTER 16
Moving from one meeting to another made his morning go by fairly quickly. Ricardo ordered lunch for him so he could draft a legal brief. As he worked, he had lapses in his focus as he thought of Janine and what had transpired between them the night before. He didn’t want to overanalyze it, but one thought seared into his brain—she had the uncanny ability to free him in profound ways. Their night together had unleashed something refreshing and titillating he hadn’t felt in years.
In the course of their lovemaking and the power play they engaged in, he had relinquished his desire for self-control. The resulting pleasure surged through him, creating sensations all over his body. He felt them to the recesses of his very soul. It was as if a long dormant part of him had been resuscitated. It wasn’t nearly as dark as what happened between he and Nikita, but the result was the same if not more intense. He couldn’t recall ever feeling anything quite like it, even with Janine. The closest he ever came to that sense of release happened when he was twenty-one.
Despite his months long self-exile from New York’s dungeons and BDSM clubs, he couldn’t extinguish his desires for them. He struggled with feelings he was somehow broken because of his interest with this kind of sexuality. To compensate, he slept with virtually any woman who offered him sex. His sexual releases were fine, but not explosive and they certainly didn’t bring him to heightened levels of orgasm he felt when he watched or recalled BDSM.
He tried in vain to suppress it all. Feeling completely lost, he resolved to find out what was happening to him. He rightly presumed his few friends were too provincial to grasp what he was dealing with—even those who previously joined him to Forty-Second Street porn houses. He certainly didn’t feel as if he could talk to his parents. And he felt too ashamed to talk to Rick, even though it was he who revealed there were women out there who “liked rough sex.” What troubled him most was realizing what aroused him moved far beyond rough sex.
As he struggled to find answers, he stumbled upon a fascinating course listing called “Gender and Human Sexuality” offered in the Sociology Department. Based on the course description, he thought it could be enlightening while fulfilling his elective requirements. He also hoped the class would allow him a safe space to intellectually scrutinize his own behavior. After the initial giggles among students, the unfiltered professor challenged them to consider what gender really meant both in biological and social construct terms. It didn’t take long before they all settled into informed discussions he looked forward to each week.
As the course progressed, the class began to explore global social constructs around sexuality eventually honing in on Western cultures. Much to his delight, the professor began to explain how BDSM fell into the scheme of sexual mores. He learned compelling research on the topic showed role-playing was always a part of sexual relationships. BDSM in particular was practiced wel
l before even the Marquis de Sade. He was enthralled by the history and reemergence of the practice in the mid twentieth century.
He was even more engaged when he learned psychological studies of true practitioners found no correlation to sexual dysfunctional, childhood abuse or psychotic tendencies. In fact, studies had repeatedly shown those who practiced so-called deviant sexual expressions actually tended to be much more self-aware, confident and sexually healthy. They were more open and honest about expressing needs and desires to their partners than those in the “normal” or traditional classifications. He also learned the adrenalin rush BDSM practitioners experienced was very similar to extreme sports enthusiasts. The difference was rather than base-jumping off of a mountain for that rush, Doms and Subs did this sexually.
With his increasing knowledge, he was regaining his confidence and personal balance. After a lecture, he overheard classmates talking about a new spot near the FIT. It was an invite-only space catering exclusively to blacks into the fetish and BDSM scenes. He was excited by this news because the places he frequented most were predominately white or overwhelmingly gay. The few blacks he encountered in those clubs were often paired. It didn’t take him long to get an invitation allowing him to frequent the new place often. Never a “joiner” by inclination, he couldn’t refute the interesting bond he developed with other patrons because of a sense of acceptance, openness and being with his “own” folk.
Unlike other clubs, this spot often invited experts to help practitioners get better in their roles. That’s when he first met Mistress Spectra. She came to New York often teaching newer techniques, devices and safety protocols. Her command of the subject left the small group of regular attendees enthralled. However, her unwavering and unapologetic admission to being a hardcore sadist made him a bit uneasy. But as she talked, he began to understand how intricately she used the term. She acknowledged every Dom has triggers that heighten their arousal as much as a Sub. Being a successful Dom, she explained, required knowing not only how to please a Sub but also knowing what pleased you. “Anyone can give orders and be commanding,” she argued. “But a true Dom embraces the source of their “high,” pushes boundaries for their Subs and themselves.”
His Pleasures and Pain (Book II) (Allen Trilogy 2) Page 11
