by Vikki Vaught
His daughter was so beautiful and getting so big. It was hard to imagine she was already over two-and-a-half years old. He had missed so much. An ache penetrated his heart, squeezing it like a vise. He certainly planned to take an active role with any future children they had, and he did not want to miss a single moment.
Brandon was an adorable child. He looked so much like Melody, but it was extremely difficult for him to feel close to him. The toddler was a constant reminder of the life Melody had while he was gone. Knowing it was important to her that he accept Brandon and treat him as a son, he pushed away his resentment.
In some ways, he owed it to Brandon, because he’d been a good father to his daughter. He had never looked at it that way before, so perhaps he was beginning to accept what had happened. There was no way to change the past, so all they could do was move forward.
Henry walked over to Mary Elizabeth and dropped to one knee beside her. “Are you having a good time, sweetheart? If you’re getting tired, I would be happy to have you sit in my lap.”
Mary Elizabeth looked unsure. She shook her head and ran to her mother. Melody hugged her, then his daughter returned to Angela, and they started playing again. A deep sadness filled his soul, and it had him feeling downhearted over his child’s rejection of his overtures.
He joined his wife, stretching out on the blanket beside her. He picked at a blade of grass. “I can’t get her to respond to me. Other than a few times in the nursery, she doesn’t even smile at me. What am I doing wrong?”
She touched his hand. “You’re trying too hard. The best thing you can do is make sure you spend time with her. She needs to grow accustomed to you, and that will only happen with daily contact.”
Frustrated, he ran his fingers through his hair. “Brandon comes to me, and I haven’t spent any more time with him than I have with Mary Elizabeth.”
“He’s too small to remember his father. I know it’s hard for you to hear that your daughter thought Brandon was her papa,” she explained. “It will take some time for her to accept you. Just be patient.”
He turned over what she was saying in his mind and realized she was probably right. “I told you I had learned patience while I was with the monks. I guess I still need to have more. I’ll start visiting her each day, as you suggest. When’s the best time?”
She leaned back on her hands, then stretched out her legs and crossed her ankles, and she had never looked lovelier. “Definitely mornings. After she has had breakfast is when she is most receptive. She has a full tummy and is wide awake.”
He continued to watch his wife, and he wanted her so badly he thought he would die if he did not make love to her soon. Knowing this line of thinking would only stir his desire, in fact, he already felt a tightening in his loins, he pulled his thoughts back. “What time does she eat breakfast? I can usually take a break from my work at ten.”
Drawing her knees up, Melody put her arms around them. “It would be an excellent time. I think it would be better if you go to the nursery without me. If I am there, she’ll want to stay by my side, and she will be less likely to respond to you.”
“I’ll start visiting her tomorrow,” he told her. “I love her so much and long for the day when she will call me ‘Papa’.” He sighed, then stood. “Well, as much as I have enjoyed our afternoon, I need to return to my study for a brief meeting with Stallings. We also need to return the children to the nursery. It’s close to teatime, and you know how upset my mother gets if anyone is late.”
His wife beamed as she joined him. “I’m sure your plan will make all the difference in the world. Before you know it, she’ll be calling you ‘Papa’. I shall gather everything up, no need for you to help. I can manage on my own.”
He grinned and playfully touched her dainty nose. “As you wish, Duchess. I shall see you at tea.” Taking great strides so he would not be late for his meeting, he made his way to his study.
When Melody hurried into the drawing room an hour later, he smiled. She looked so adorable with her hair practically coming down from her top knot. As his wife joined him on the sofa, a huge sense of satisfaction settled on him as he took in his family gathered around him.
He noticed Mary staring out the window with a woebegone expression on her face, obviously having a bad day. He’d hoped she was beginning to overcome her intense grief, but evidently she still needed more time.
Helen and Kathryn sat in the chairs across from him and were chattering about the new bonnets and ribbons they had purchased in the village, and the dowager duchess sat on the settee ready to pour.
His mother looked down her straight nose at his wife. “Where have you been? Your hair is hanging around your face, gel. You should have fixed it before you came to tea. I see you have gained weight. You were looking slimmer when you first returned. Now you are getting plump again.”
Henry refused to allow her to speak to Melody in that manner. “Mother. Keep. Your. Opinions to yourself. If you do not have anything nice to say, then refrain from saying anything at all. I will no longer tolerate you treating her like this. And she is not a girl. She is my duchess. You will address her in the manner she deserves. It is past time you turned over the household to her. I expect you to give her the keys immediately.”
“Well, I never,” she huffed. “As you wish, but do not ask me to take up the reins again when she is unable to manage the servants and they start running amok.” She drew herself up to her full height and marched from the room.
He turned to his wife. “I’m sure you will manage quite well. I have all the confidence in the world in your abilities, and you will soon have the servants worshipping at your feet. I should have demanded she turn the household over to you weeks ago. Now that we have this settled, I plan to enjoy my tea.”
While Melody looked taken aback, she smiled, took the dowager duchess’ seat and poured tea and filled plates as if she had done it her entire life. At that moment, he could not have been prouder of her. Oh, yes. This should have happened as soon as they had arrived.
“I appreciate your vote of confidence.” Her voice held some trepidation in it, but her shoulders were set and her expression determined. “I will do my best to live up to your expectations. I do hope it’s not misplaced.”
He smiled, then said reassuringly, “You’ll do fine, and Mrs. Milton will certainly help you.”
She brightened. “That’s true. We already have a good relationship. She is such a kind woman.”
Once everyone else had their tea, Melody took a cup over to Mary, and after a few moments she hugged her and had convinced her to join the others. His kind and compassionate wife was at work.
Once tea had ended, Henry watched as Melody left the room. He appreciated the effort she was going to with Mary. It made him even more determined to completely move beyond his resentment. Remembering again all he had learned from his time in the monastery, he understood the key to acceptance was prayer. He made up his mind to get down on his knees each night and begin to turn his resentment over to God.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Fall 1818
Melody thought over the conversation she’d had with Henry. She hoped he would follow through with his plans to spend more time with Mary Elizabeth. He did seem to be trying to forget about her marriage to Brandon. Only time would tell if he would ever truly forgive her. She did not want to live the rest of her life waiting for that to happen. If he could not forget, then after she gave him an heir, she would ask him for a legal separation. It was just too difficult to love him and not have her love returned.
She was now overseeing the management of the household. Her mother-in-law had sent her the keys with a note letting her know she was on her own. It would have been so much easier if she had been willing to help. Thank goodness Mrs. Milton was invaluable. Every day, she met with her in the morning and decided on the agenda for the day, along with reviewing the menus the cook suggested. Running the household was time consuming, nevertheless, enjoyable. She also
found it much less daunting than she had expected.
The first few weeks of September rushed by. Henry was extraordinarily busy with the harvest, but he still found time to go to the nursery and visit his daughter. He asked her to organize the Harvest Feast, so she ran from morning to dark managing her tasks. She went to the village and met with the innkeeper to make sure there would be enough ale for all the tenant farmers and villagers. The cook was quite helpful, because she had participated in a great many Harvest Feasts.
By late September, they had harvested all the wheat and barley, so they held the feast on Saturday, the twenty-sixth.
The women of the village were bringing baked goods, and Henry supplied the rest of the food. The feast was that evening, and a huge bonfire had been built on the village green, just waiting to be lit when the evening’s festivities began. Henry had even arranged to have musicians so there could be dancing.
On the ride to the village, she kept tapping her foot, and then she crossed and uncrossed her ankles a dozen times. She could barely contain her excitement. She remembered how much fun she had at Harvest Feasts as a child.
Once their party arrived, the festivities began. Henry grabbed her around the waist and pulled her into his arms and swung her around as the musicians played a lively tune. It was so much more relaxed than the formal dancing at a ball, and a lot more enjoyable. She and Henry danced every dance, and she loved every minute of it.
Soon, most of the men of the village and tenant farmers were definitely feeling no pain from all the ale they were drinking. Henry had indulged alongside the men, while laughing and joking with a lot of backslapping and congratulations going on as well. The harvest had turned out to be bountiful after all, even after the dry summer. The rains in the earlier part of September had saved the day. They would not have to worry about the upcoming winter.
At the end of the evening, they gathered up Helen and Kathryn and turned the cart toward home. When they arrived at the house, everyone retired to bed. Henry asked if he could join her. A thrill of anticipation rushed her. Did he want to make love to her, or just discuss the evening?
When he knocked on the door, she trembled, but drew on her inner strength and opened it. After he stepped into her bedchamber, he asked, “Did you have a good time tonight?”
“Yes, a marvelous time. Thank you for asking me to help. I used to love the Harvest Feasts we had at home, so this brought back fond memories.”
“I’m glad you had such a good time. I appreciate what you’ve been trying to do for Mary. She seems better lately. I know you’ve encouraged her to join you when you take the children out to play. I believe I’m getting somewhere with Mary Elizabeth. She actually allowed me to hug her today.” Henry wore a huge grin on his handsome face.
She was so pleased for him. “How wonderful. I told you if you were patient, it would all work out. Before you know it, she will be calling you ‘Papa’.”
“I would like to spend the night with you. I’ll understand if you don’t want to, but I miss sleeping with you. Remember how it was in Canterbury?” he asked. “We shared a bed every night. We don’t need to make love…I just want to hold you in my arms as we sleep.”
She wanted a lot more than that, but it was so considerate of him to offer only sleep. “I’ve missed sleeping with you as well. I would love that.” She hesitated, then embarrassed, she lowered her head and murmured, “I want more than sleep. I want you to make love to me. I know you need to have an heir, and that shan’t happen if we don’t share a bed.”
Henry’s eyes darkened. “As much as I want to make love to you, I do not want you doing it out of a sense of duty. I want you to desire me the way I desire you.”
“I do desire you…desperately.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed her with a depth of passion that overwhelmed her senses. She returned his kiss with all the love she had in her heart. Scooping her up, he carried her to the bed and gently laid her down, crawling in beside her and pulling her into his arms.
His kisses were deep and all consuming. Their tongues entwined. She almost forgot to breathe, in the glory of his kiss. Pushing her night rail off her shoulders, he unbuttoned it down to her waist. Pulling it apart, he gazed at her breasts.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he murmured, “I’ve always loved your body, and you’re getting those luscious curves back again. Do not ever think you are too plump. I adore every delicious inch of you. You have the prettiest nipples, all rosy and puckered, waiting for my touch.”
Looking at her through heavy lidded eyes, he bent over, took her nipple into his mouth, and suckled. His hand gently twisted her other one. He caressed her belly, and soon his hand slid lower to her curls. Touching her sweet spot, she started to writhe, pushing her pelvis against his hand as his fingers found her entrance and slid home. Her passion escalated higher and higher, and soon he had her falling off the edge into ecstasy.
He pushed her thighs wide apart, moved in-between them, and thrust into her. Her legs trembled, her heart pounded. “Oh, Melody. It feels like heaven being inside you. I…can’t hold out much longer. Oh, God.”
He stroked in and out, over and over again, and her core clenched. Wild sensations rolled over her as he thrust one more time, then shouted, “Oh, yes…yes,” as he emptied his seed into her. He rolled to his side, taking her with him, and they lay in peaceful surrender as they fell fast asleep.
She awoke as dawn was breaking and gazed at his handsome face. He looked so young and peaceful. Then she realized…she could never live without him. There would be no legal separation. She would make him love her again. Surely, if they could feel this level of passion, there must be some love left in his heart. All she needed was a tiny piece, and she would make it grow.
As he opened his eyes, he smiled. “Good morning. Did you sleep well? This was the best night’s sleep I’ve had in over three years. It’s so nice waking up to your smiling face.”
She stretched and sighed, feeling contented. “I’ve missed waking up with you, too. Those first months after I heard you had died were awful. My dreams tormented me with images of us making love. I burned for your touch, and most nights I cried myself to sleep.”
“Well, going forward,” he declared, “we shall have to make sure we do this every night. As much as I would love to laze around in bed all day, I have to meet Stallings early. We’re going over the harvest figures, and the yields were much better than expected. God, I hate to get out of bed.”
Henry leaned over and gave her a quick kiss, then climbed out to go get ready to face his day. She noticed he had a bigger smile on his face than he’d had in a long time.
After that night, he came to her bed each night. After they made love, they slept in each other’s arms. He did not bring up her marriage to Brandon, so she left well enough alone. She sensed he still struggled with accepting she had done no wrong.
Throughout the fall, they settled into a pattern. They went riding whenever the weather permitted, then Henry would spend an hour with Mary Elizabeth. She was finally warming up to him and had even allowed him to give her a few hugs. They spent their evenings playing chess or cards in the drawing room. Some evenings, they read to each other in the library.
Henry’s mother kept to herself and made no more degrading comments. Although, the duchess still rebuffed her whenever she reached out to her. Melody actually felt sorry for her, because she had to be a lonely woman.
Overall, she was fairly content. If Henry would show more emotion, she would be happier. He still held a piece of himself apart from her. While their lovemaking took her to new heights of satisfaction, she needed his love. Her heart ached for what they used to have, but she refused to give up. She would regain what they had if it was the last thing she ever did.
December proved to be an incredibly busy month with preparing for the upcoming holiday season. The annual Christmas party would go on, but since they were still in mourning, none of the ton would attend. Henry’s family was coming and would
need accommodations for the Christmas season. Melody met with Mrs. Milton and discussed which bedchambers to use for the guests.
A bevy of housemaids under the housekeeper’s supervision were busy preparing the rooms. Simpson had the footmen cleaning silver. They had everything ready by the twenty-first. Then it was time for Henry and his workers to gather the greenery and the Yule log to decorate the house.
Her sisters-in-law helped, but the dowager duchess refused. She remembered how much her mother-in-law had enjoyed the Christmas season. Melody tried to reach out. Again, the woman refused her overtures.
By the day of the party, the house looked festive. Greenery and holly adorned the mantels and banisters. Wreaths hung above the fireplaces, and mistletoe from the crystal chandeliers.
The first person to arrive was Aunt Miriam. Melody rushed into her aunt’s arms. “Oh my darling girl, I’m so happy to see you. It has been far too long. My goodness, how slender you are. Have you been taking care of yourself?”
She smiled reassuringly. “I lost weight when I was ill last spring, but I’ve regained most of it. By the end of the holidays, I shall have gained the rest. I’m so happy you were able to come. We must make time to catch up. I want to hear about your travels. Come, I will show you to your room, so you can freshen up.”
Once Melody led her aunt to the rose bedchamber, she did not linger. She returned to the great hall, and other family members started arriving. Thank goodness Helen and Kathryn were with her. They helped her with the names, since she had only met most of them one time four years ago. She surprised herself, for she remembered them better than she expected. Henry was gracious as always and a tremendous help to her. By teatime, most of the family staying in residence had arrived.
The guests met in the drawing room at four o’clock. Melody was a bundle of nerves over serving tea to so many people, and Henry’s mother refused to assist. She stiffened her spine, refusing to give into her anxiety. Her heart raced as she took her seat on the settee, and it was all she could do to keep her hands from trembling as she poured. Soon everyone had their tea and biscuits without mishap, much to her relief.
