During the days they’d slept, no nightmare had shaken her awake, hunted her. A small, merciful reprieve.
Aelin swallowed, her throat dry. What had been real, what Maeve had tried to plant in her mind—did it matter, whether the pain had been true or imagined?
She had gotten out, gotten away from Maeve and Cairn. Facing the broken bits inside her would come later.
For now, it was enough to have this clarity back. Even though releasing her power, expending that mighty blow here, had not been her plan.
Aelin slid her gaze toward Rowan, his harsh face softened into handsomeness by sleep. And clean—the gore that had splattered them both was gone. Someone must have washed it away while they slept.
As if he sensed her attention, or just felt the lingering hand on his arm, Rowan’s eyes cracked open. He scanned her from head to toe, deemed everything all right, and met her stare.
“Show-off,” he muttered.
Aelin patted his arm. “You put on a pretty fancy display yourself, Prince.”
He smiled, his tattoo crinkling. “Will that display be the last of your surprises, or are there more coming?”
She debated it—telling him, revealing it. Maybe.
Rowan sat up, the blanket sliding from him. Is this the sort of surprise that will end with my heart stopping dead in my chest?
She snorted, propping her head with a fist as she traced idle marks over the scratchy blanket. “I sent a letter—when we were at that port in Wendlyn.”
Rowan nodded. “To Aedion.”
“To Aedion,” she said, quietly enough that Gavriel couldn’t hear from his spot outside the door. “And to your uncle. And to Essar.”
Rowan’s brows rose. “Saying what?”
She hummed to herself. “Saying that I was indeed imprisoned by Maeve, and that while I was her captive, she laid out some rather nefarious plans.”
Her mate went still. “With what goal in mind?”
Aelin sat up, and picked at her nails. “Convincing them to disband her army. Start a revolt in Doranelle. Kick Maeve off the throne. You know, small things.”
Rowan just looked at her. Then scrubbed at his face. “You think a letter could do that?”
“It was strongly worded.”
He gaped a bit. “What sort of nefarious plans did you mention?”
“Desire to conquer the world, her complete lack of interest in sparing Fae lives in a war, her interest in Valg things.” She swallowed. “I might have mentioned that she’s possibly Valg.”
Rowan started.
Aelin shrugged. “It was a lucky guess. The best lies are always mixed with truth.”
“Suggesting Maeve is Valg is a fairly outlandish lie, even for you. Even if it turned out to be true.”
She waved a hand. “We’ll see if anything comes of it.”
“If it works, if they somehow revolt and the army turns against her …” He shook his head, laughing softly. “It’d be a boon in this war.”
“I scheme and lie so grandly, and that’s all the credit I get?”
Rowan flicked her nose. “You’ll get credit if her army doesn’t show up. Until then, we prepare as if they are. Which is highly likely.” At her frown, he said, “Essar doesn’t wield much power, and my uncle doesn’t take many risks. Not like Enda and Sellene. For them to overthrow Maeve … it would be monumental. If they even survived it.”
Her stomach churned. “It’s their choice, what they do. I only laid out the facts.” Carefully worded facts and half guesses. An absolute gamble, if she was being honest.
Rowan smirked. “And other than attempting to overthrow Maeve’s throne? Any other surprises I should know about?”
Her smile faded as she lay back down, Rowan doing the same beside her. “There are no more.” At his raised brows, she added, “I swear it on my throne. There are no more left.”
The amusement in his eyes guttered. “I don’t know whether to be relieved.”
“Everything I know, you know. All the cards are on the table now.”
With the various armies that had gathered, with the Lock, with all of it.
“Do you think you could do it again?” he asked. “Draw up that much power?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so. It required being … contained. With the irons.”
A shadow darkened his face, and he rolled onto his side, propping up his head. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“You never will again.” It was the truth.
“If the cost of that much power is what you endured, then I’ll be glad not to.”
Aelin ran a hand down the powerful muscles of his thigh, fingers snagging in the rip of fabric just above his knee. “I didn’t feel you get this wound through the mating bond,” she said, grazing the thick ridge of the new scar. A trophy from the battle. She made herself meet his piercing stare. Did Maeve somehow break that part of it? That part of us?
“No,” he breathed, and stroked the hair from her brow. “I’ve realized that the bond only conveys the pain of the gravest wounds.”
She touched the spot on his shoulder where Asterin Blackbeak’s arrow had pierced him all those months ago. The moment she’d known what he was to her.
“It was why I didn’t know what was happening to you on the beach,” Rowan said roughly. Because the whipping, brutal and unbearable as it had been, hadn’t brought her to the brink of death. Only into an iron coffin.
She scowled. “If you’re about to tell me that you feel guilty for it—”
“We both have things to grapple with—about what happened these months.”
A glance at him, and she knew he was well aware of what still clouded her soul.
And because he was the only person who saw everything she was and did not walk away from it, Aelin said, “I wanted that fire to be for Maeve.”
“I know.” Such simple words, and yet it meant everything—that understanding.
“I wanted it to make things … better.” She loosed a long breath. “To wipe it all away.” Every memory and nightmare and lie.
“It will take a while, Aelin. To face it, work through it.”
“I don’t have a while.”
His jaw tensed. “That remains to be seen.”
She didn’t bother arguing. Not as she admitted, “I want it to be over.”
He went wholly still, but granted her the space to think, to speak.
“I want it to be over and done with,” she said hoarsely. “This war, the gods and the Wyrdgate and the Lock. All of it.” She rubbed her temples, pushing past the weight, the lingering stain that no fire might cleanse. “I want to go to Terrasen, to fight, and then I want it to be over.”
She’d wanted it to be over since she’d learned the true cost of forging the Lock anew. Had wanted it to be over with each of Cairn’s lashes on the beach in Eyllwe. And all he’d done to her afterward. Whatever it might bring about, however it might end, she wanted it to be over.
She didn’t know who and what it made her.
Rowan remained silent for a long moment before he said, “Then we will make sure the khagan’s host goes north. Then we will return to Terrasen and crush Erawan’s armies.” He brought her hands to his mouth for a swift kiss. “And then, after all that, we’ll see about this damned Lock.” Uncompromising will filled his every breath, the air around them.
She let it be enough for both of them. Tucked away his words, his vow, all those promises between them and extended her palm in the air between them.
She summoned the magic—the drop of water her mother’s bloodline had given her. Mab’s bloodline.
A tiny ball of water took form in her hand. Over the calluses she’d so carefully rebuilt.
She let the gentle, cooling power trickle over her. Let it smooth the jagged bits inside herself and sing them to sleep. Her mother’s gift.
You do not yield.
When the Lock took everything, would it claim this part as well? This most precious part of her power?
/> She tucked away those thoughts, too.
Concentrating, gritting her teeth, Aelin commanded the ball of water to rotate in her palm.
A wobble was all she got in answer.
She snorted. “Faerie Queen of the West indeed.”
Rowan huffed a quiet laugh. “Keep practicing. In a thousand years, you might actually be able to do something with it.”
She whacked his arm, the droplet of water soaking into the sleeve of his shirt. “It’s a wonder I learned anything from you with that sort of encouragement.” She shook the wetness from her hand. Right into his face.
Rowan nipped at her nose. “I do keep a tally, Princess. Of all the horrible things that come out of your mouth.”
Her toes curled, and she dragged her fingers through his hair, luxuriating in the silken strands. “How shall I pay for this one?”
On the other side of the door, she could have sworn that cat-soft feet quickly padded away.
Rowan smirked, as if sensing Gavriel’s swift exit, too. Then his hand flattened on her abdomen, his mouth grazing the underside of her jaw. “I’ve been thinking of some ways.”
But the hand he’d set on her belly pushed down just enough that Aelin let out an oomph. And realized that she’d been asleep for three days—and had the bladder to go with it. She winced, shooting to her feet. She swayed, and he was instantly there, steadying her. “Before you ravish me wholly,” she declared, “I need to find a bathing room.”
Rowan laughed, stooping to gather his sword belt, left neatly by the wall alongside hers. Only Gavriel would have arranged them with such care. “That need indeed trumps what I had planned.”
People gawked in the halls, some whispering as they passed.
The queen and her consort. Where do you think they’ve been these past few days?
I heard they went into the mountains and brought the wild men back with them.
I heard they’ve been weaving spells around the city, to protect it against Morath.
Rowan was still smirking when Aelin emerged from the communal ladies’ bathing room.
“See?” She fell into step beside him as they aimed not for their room and ravishment, but for the hallway where food had been laid out. “You’re starting to like the notoriety.”
Rowan arched a brow. “You think that everywhere I’ve gone for the past three hundred years, whispers haven’t followed me?” She rolled her eyes, but he chuckled. “This is far better than Cold-hearted bastard or I heard he killed someone with a table leg.”
“You did kill someone with a table leg.”
Rowan’s smirk grew.
“And you are a cold-hearted bastard,” she threw in.
Rowan snorted. “I never said those whispers were lies.”
Aelin looped her arm through his. “I’m going to start a rumor about you, then. Something truly grotesque.”
He groaned. “I dread the thought of what you might come up with.”
She adopted a harsh whisper as they passed a group of human soldiers. “You flew back onto the battlefield to peck out the eyes of our enemies?” Her gasp echoed off the rock. “And ate those eyes?”
One of the soldiers tripped, the others whipping their heads to them.
Rowan pinched her shoulder. “Thank you for that.”
She inclined her head. “You’re very welcome.”
Aelin kept smiling as they found food and ate a quick lunch—it was midday, they’d learned—sitting side by side in a dusty, half-forgotten stairwell. Much like the days they’d spent in Mistward, knee to knee and shoulder to shoulder in the kitchen while listening to Emrys’s stories.
Though unlike those months this spring, when Aelin set down her plate between her feet, she slid her arms around Rowan’s neck and his mouth instantly met hers.
No, it was certainly not at all like their time at Mistward as she crawled into Rowan’s lap, not entirely caring that anyone might stride up or down the stairs, and kissed him silly.
They halted, breathless and wild-eyed, before she could decide that it really wouldn’t be a bad idea to unfasten his pants right there, or that his hand, discreetly and lazily rubbing that damned spot between her thighs, should be inside her.
If Aelin was being honest with herself, she was still debating hauling him into the nearest closet when they set off to find their companions at last. One glance at Rowan’s glazed eyes and she knew he was debating the same.
Yet even the desire heating her blood cooled when they entered the ancient study near the top of the keep and beheld the gathered group. Fenrys and Gavriel were already there, Chaol with them, no sign of Elide or Lorcan.
But Chaol’s father, unfortunately, was present. And glowered as they entered the meeting that seemed well under way. Aelin gave him a mocking smile and sauntered up to the large desk.
A tall, broad-shouldered man stood with Nesryn, Sartaq, and Hasar, handsome and brimming with a sort of impatient energy. His brown eyes were welcoming, his smile easy. She liked him immediately.
“My brother,” Hasar said, waving a hand without looking up from the map. “Kashin.”
The prince sketched a graceful bow.
Aelin offered one back, Rowan doing the same. “An honor,” Aelin said. “Thank you for coming.”
“You can actually thank my father for that. And Yrene,” said Kashin, his use of their language as flawless as his siblings’.
Indeed, Aelin had much to thank the healer for.
Nesryn’s sharp eyes scanned Aelin from head to toe. “You’re feeling all right?”
“Just needed to rest.” Aelin jerked her chin at Rowan. “He requires frequent naps in his old age.”
Sartaq coughed, keeping his head down as he continued studying the map.
Fenrys, however, laughed. “Back to your good spirits, I see.”
Aelin smirked at Chaol’s straight-backed father. “We’ll see how long it lasts.”
The man said nothing.
Rowan motioned to the desk and asked the royals, “Have you decided—where you shall march now?”
Such a casual, calm question. As if the fate of Terrasen did not rest upon it.
Hasar opened her mouth, but Sartaq cut her off. “North. We shall indeed go north with you. If only to repay you for saving our army—our people.”
Aelin tried not to look too relieved.
“Gratitude aside,” Hasar said, not sounding very grateful at all, “Kashin’s scouts have confirmed that Terrasen is where Morath is concentrating its efforts. So it is there that we shall go.”
Aelin wished she had not eaten such a large lunch. “How bad is it?”
Nesryn shook her head, answering for Prince Kashin, “The details were murky. All we know is that hordes were spotted marching northward, leaving a trail of destruction in their wake.”
Aelin kept her fists at her sides, avoiding the urge to rub at her face.
Chaol’s father said, “I hope that power of yours can be summoned again.”
Aelin let an ember of that power smolder in her eyes. “Thank you for the armor,” she crooned.
“Consider it an early coronation gift,” the Lord of Anielle countered with a mocking smile.
Sartaq cleared his throat. “If you and your companions are recovered, then we’ll press northward as soon as we are able.” No objections from Hasar at that.
“And march along the mountains?” Rowan asked, scanning the map. Aelin traced the route they’d follow. “We’d have to pass directly before the Ferian Gap. We’ll barely clear the other end of this lake before we’re in another battle.”
“So we draw them out,” Hasar said. “Trick them into emptying whatever forces wait in the Gap, then sneak up on them from behind.”
“Adarlan controls the entire Avery,” Chaol said, drawing an invisible line inland from Rifthold. “To pass north, we have to cross that river anyway. In picking the Gap as our battleground, we’ll avoid the mess that would come with fighting in the midst of Oakwald. The ruks, at least, w
ould be able to provide aerial coverage. Not so with the trees.”
Rowan nodded. “We’d need to march the majority of the host up into the mountains, then—to come at the Gap from where they’d least expect it. It’s rough terrain, though. We’ll need to pick our route carefully.”
Chaol’s father grumbled. Aelin lifted her brows, but his son answered, “I sent out emissaries the day after the battle—into the Fangs. To contact the wild men who live there, if they might know of secret ways through the mountains to the Gap.”
Ancient enemies of this city. “And?”
“They do. But at a cost.”
“One that shall not be paid,” the Lord of Anielle snapped.
“Let me guess: territory,” Aelin said.
Chaol nodded. Hence the tension in this room.
She tapped a foot as she surveyed the Lord of Anielle. “And you won’t give one sliver of land to them?”
He just glared.
“Apparently not,” Fenrys muttered.
Aelin shrugged, and turned to Chaol. “Well, it’s settled, then.”
“What is settled?” his father ground out.
Aelin ignored him, and winked at her friend. “You’re the Hand to the King of Adarlan. You outrank him. You’re authorized to act on Dorian’s behalf.” She gestured to the map. “The land might be a part of Anielle, but it belongs to Adarlan. Go ahead and barter it.”
His father started. “You—”
“We are going north,” Aelin said. “You will not stand in our way.” She again let some of her fire kindle in her eyes, set the gold in them burning. “I halted that wave. Consider this alliance with the wild men a way to repay the favor.”
“That wave destroyed half my city,” the man snarled.
Fenrys let out a low, disbelieving laugh. Rowan snarled softly.
Chaol growled at his father, “You’re a bastard.”
“Watch your tongue, boy.”
Aelin nodded sympathetically to Chaol. “I see why you left.”
Chaol, to his credit, winced and returned to the map. “If we can get past the Ferian Gap, then we continue northward.”
Past Endovier. That path would take them right past Endovier. Aelin’s stomach tightened. Rowan’s hand grazed her own.
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