by J. R. Ward
She put out her hands. "Okay, okay. Just, I don't know, you seem like a good guy."
He didn't respond to that one.
And as he fell silent, she figured, damn it, she had made him feel awkward--
"Can I tell you something nobody knows?" he blurted.
Beth sat up straighter. "Yes, please."
The Shadow let out a long exhale. "The truth is..."
Oh, God, please don't let the doctor come in before he--
"I've never been with a female before."
As Beth's brows punched up to the center of her forehead, she gave them a strict lecture about resettling. She didn't want him to look up and see the shock on her face.
"Well, that's..."
"Lame. I know."
"No, no, not at all."
"Trez has been more than making up for it," he muttered. "If we averaged his sex life and mine, we'd still be on the Wilt Chamberlain curve."
"Oh, wow. I mean--"
"Before my brother bolted from the s'Hisbe, I was too goddamn shy. And then once the shit hit the fan with him? I've been trying to keep him from spiraling completely out of control. Plus, I don't know, I'm not into the sluts. Our tradition says you honor your body by sharing it only with someone you are halved with. Guess I can't get that bullshit out of my head."
After a moment, he glowered across at her. "What."
"I just ... I've never heard you say that many words at once. It's nice to have you open up."
"Can we keep this between us?"
"Yes, absolutely."
She waited a couple of beats. "But if I meet someone, like, you know, who might make sense, can I introduce you two?"
He shook his head. "'Preciate it. I'm not a good bet, though."
"So what are you going to do, live your whole life alone?"
"I have my brother," he said gruffly. "Trust me. That shit is more than enough to keep me busy."
"Yeah, I'm sure it is."
When he got quiet again, she assumed he was done talking. Instead, he spoke up one last time: "I only have one other secret."
"What's that?"
"Don't tell anyone ... but I like that goddamn cat of yours."
Tilting her head to the side, Beth smiled at the Shadow. "I have a feeling ... he's pretty fond of you, too."
It was a full hour before the door opened again.
And it was only another nurse. "Hi, I'm Julie. Dr. Sam's tied up in an emergency. She's really sorry. She's asked me to take a blood sample to speed things along?"
For a split second, Beth worried about that bright idea. There were anatomical differences in the two species. What if they found something--
"Ms. Marklon?"
iAm had said he was going to take care of any fallout, though, she reminded herself. And she could guess how he was going to do that.
"Yes, of course. Which arm do you want?"
"Let me take a look at your veins."
Five minutes, one alcohol pad, two sticks, and three filled vials later, she and iAm were alone again.
For a while.
"Does it always take this long?" he asked. "With humans?"
"I don't know. I was never sick, and I sure as hell never wondered if I was pregnant before."
The Shadow rearranged himself in his chair again. "You want to call Wrath?"
She took out her phone. "I'm not getting a signal. How 'bout you?"
He checked his. "Nope."
Made sense. They were in one of St. Francis Hospital's newer buildings, a twelve-or fifteen-story-high steel-and-glass number--and they were only on the second floor. In the middle.
Not a window in sight.
God, she wished Wrath were here--
The door swung open, and later ... much later ... she would recall the first thing that struck her: I like this woman.
Dr. Sam was five feet tall, fifty years old ... and all about her patient. "Hi. I'm Sam, and I'm sorry you've had to wait."
Shifting the folder she was carrying to her opposite arm, she put her hand out and smiled, flashing pretty white teeth and a face that had aged well naturally. Her short blond hair was a good dye job, and she had some nice gold bangles and a diamond ring on her left hand. "You must be Beth. Manny's an old friend of mine. I used to do ob-gyn consults for him in the ER from time to time."
For absolutely no good reason, Beth felt an absurd urge to cry--and tamped it right down. "I'm Beth. Marklon."
"And you are?" she said to iAm, also offering her hand.
"A friend."
"My husband can't be here," Beth said as those two shook.
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"He's ... not going to be able to be at the appointments."
Dr. Sam propped a hip on the exam table. "Is he in the military?"
"Ah..." She glanced at iAm. "Actually, yes."
"Thank him for his service for me, will you?"
God, she hated lying. "I will."
"Okay, so let's get down to business." She opened the folder. "Have you been taking prenatal vitamins?"
"No."
"That's going to be first on our list." Dr. Sam glanced up. "I've got some good organic ones that won't make you sick--"
"Wait, so am I pregnant?"
The doctor frowned. "I--I'm sorry. I thought this was your ultrasound checkup?"
"No, I came in to find out whether I have a stomach flu or if I'm ... you know."
The doctor pulled the chair the nurse had sat in up really close. Then she put her hand over Beth's. "You're very definitely pregnant. And you have been for a while. That's why we need to get you on those prenatals right away--as well as try to put some weight on you."
Beth felt the blood drain out of her head. "I--that's not possible."
"Going by your HCG results, I'd say you're into your second trimester--although, of course, levels vary significantly. But right now you're over one hundred thousand. So as I said, I'm hoping you'll let me do an ultrasound so we can see what's going on."
"I ... I ... I ... I..."
"Yeah, she'd like that," iAm said remotely. "Can you do it now?"
"I ... I..."
"Yup, right now." Dr. Sam didn't move, though. "But let's make sure Beth's on board. Would you like some time with your friend?"
"I can't be four months. You don't understand ... it's not possible."
Maybe this was a vampire thing, she thought. Like, the reading was wonky because she was a--
"Well, again, HCG levels are really only an indication in the very beginning--and solely in relation to how much they're increasing." The doctor stood up and opened a drawer, taking out a little boxy device that had a sensor attached to it by a thick wire. "May I check for a heartbeat?"
"It's not possible," Beth heard herself say. "It's just not."
"Will you let me see if there's a heartbeat?"
Beth collapsed back onto the table and felt the doctor put something the size of a thumbprint on her stomach--
A tiny little rhythm sounded out. "Yup, we have a heartbeat. Nice and strong. One forty is what we like to see, and you've got it down pat."
Beth could only blink at the ceiling tiles far above her. "Get the ultrasound machine," she said roughly. "Now."
SIXTY-FOUR
As John paced around the foyer's mosaic floor, he was acutely aware of two things: One, his sister had been gone for hours. And two, Wrath was at the end of his rope.
The King had taken up res on the final step of the grand staircase, his torso moving back and forth like the passing of seconds was being measured by his whole body.
For no good reason, John went over to the plastic draping over the archway into the billiards room. Work had progressed the night before--in spite of the size of the square footage, the floor was almost entirely up. Tonight, they were supposed to bring in a load of the new marble and start laying the stuff. Then they were going to have to work on the walls, which was going to probably take longer--
Wow. He was actually trying to distract himself.
&n
bsp; Letting the sheeting fall back into place, he glanced over at Wrath. You'd think that at a time like this, John would be the worst person to sit with the guy, what with him being mute and the King being blind.
But Wrath didn't want to communicate, so, hey, it worked.
Everybody else had fled the scene after Beth had left with the Shadow--and John had meant to follow suit. Husband totally trumped brother, especially when it came to shit like this. But once upstairs, even after he'd had a sesh with Xhex? His footfalls had taken him back down here.
And so he waited.
It was funny, he had the sense that if he'd been anyone else, Wrath would have thrown him out.
"Has your phone gone off?" Wrath demanded without looking up.
John blew a short, descending whistle, the closest he could come to a no. Then again, if he had gotten a call, they both would have heard the phone.
"Text?"
John shook his head, before remembering he had to whistle again--
Out of nowhere, the vestibule's bell went off, an image appearing on the discreetly mounted monitor by the grand entrance's acres of molding.
Beth. iAm. Outside on the front steps.
As Wrath jumped to his feet, John rushed for the access button before Fritz came, whistling in an urgent ascending call so that the husband knew the wife had returned.
The second he hit the unlock, the vestibule's inner door swung wide.
John would never forget what Beth looked like as she careened into the house: Her face was pale and drawn, her eyes too wide, her movements sloppy and disordered. She was carrying her coat instead of wearing it, and she let the thing, as well as her purse, fall unheeded to the floor.
Such pedestrian objects went scattering everywhere. A wallet. A hairbrush. A ChapStick.
Why was he noticing this--?
And then all he could see was his sister racing across the mosaic depiction of the apple tree in full bloom ... as if she were being chased by a madman.
As she jumped at Wrath, it was not in joy.
She was terrified.
In response, Wrath held her effortlessly, lifting her off the floor, the strain gritting his jaw having nothing to do with how much she weighed.
"What is it, leelan?" he asked.
"I'm pregnant. I'm--"
"Oh, God--"
"--having a boy."
John threw a hand out to steady himself. He couldn't have heard that right. There was no way--
Wrath slowly let her back down to the floor. And then he took a little TO, falling onto that lowest step like his knees had given out of him.
And gee, what do you know, John did the same, a curious combination of despair and disbelieving joy taking the starch right out on him until he found himself sitting on the floor.
How was this possible ...?
In the silence that followed Beth's big announcement, Wrath couldn't get his brain to work. Or his arms or legs. As he fell down onto that step his ass had been warming, he felt like he was in some kind of nightmare.
"I don't ... understand." A son? They were having a son? "Your needing was a night ago--two at the most."
"I know, I know," she choked out.
Instantly, he snapped into action. Fuck his own scrambled brain; his shellan needed him. Taking control of himself, he regathered her into his lap, aware that John and iAm were the only ones around--and he was glad of it.
"Tell me what the doctor said."
The scent of her tears killed him, but he kept tight as she cleared her throat a couple of times. "I was just going there to be told it was too early. I wasn't supposed to be four months along--"
"What?"
"That's what she said." Beth shook her head against his chest. "I mean, I know I've felt weird, but I thought it was just because the needing was coming? Instead, I was already--I mean, I guess I got pregnant before it even hit me."
Jesus ... Christ.
She inched back. "Honestly, I noticed my clothes were getting tight about a month ago. Maybe a little longer? I thought it was stress eating, or because I wasn't making time for exercise? And then my moods starting getting wonky--and now that I look back on it ... my breasts were sore, too. But I never got a period or anything. So I just don't know? Oh, God, what if I harmed the baby by being with Layla? What if--"
"Beth, shh--Beth, listen to me. What did the doctor say about the young?"
"She said..." His mate sniffled. "She said he was beautiful. He's perfect. He's got the heart of a lion--"
At this, Beth collapsed in a fit of sobs, the kind of thing that was a release of emotion more than anything else. And as he held her, he stared out over her head.
"A son?" he said roughly.
"The doctor says he's big and strong. And I saw him move," she said through tears. "I didn't know it was a baby, I thought it was indigestion--"
"So you were pregnant before the needing."
"That's the only explanation I have," she wailed.
Wrath held her even closer, right to his beating chest. "...a son?"
"Yes. A son."
All of a sudden, he felt the biggest, widest, happiest grin hit his face, the goddamn thing stretching his cheeks until they hurt, making his eyes water from the strain, pulling at his temples until they burned. And the joy wasn't just on his puss. A flush so great it burned him alive flooded through his body, cleansing him in places he didn't know were dirty, washing out cobwebs that had crept into his corners, making him feel alive in a way he hadn't been in a very, very long time.
Before he knew what he was doing, he burst to his feet with Beth in his arms, leaned back, and hollered at the top of his lungs, with more pride than his six-foot-nine frame could hold.
"A soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon! I'm having a soooooooooooooooooooooooon!"
SIXTY-FIVE
Beth fell in love with her son at that moment.
As Wrath howled at the moon with fatherly pride, she smiled through her tears and worry. It had been so long since she'd seen him well and truly happy--and yet here he was, in the midst of news she'd expected him to freak out about, shining like the sun.
And their son was the cause of it.
"Where the hell is everybody," he bitched as he glared up the stairs.
"You just called them about two seconds ago--"
People came at a dead run, a traffic jam forming at the top of the stairs in spite of the fact that the thing was huge, the sound of big feet thundering down to the foyer as the Brothers came with their mates in tow.
"Here," she said, taking out a flimsy slip of paper. "Show them this--it's a picture from the ultrasound."
Wrath shifted her around so he was holding her with one arm--and he took that pic and thrust it out like it was billboard size and made of gold.
"Look!" he barked. "Look! My son! My son!"
Beth had to laugh even as her tears ran harder.
"Look!"
His Brothers formed a circle around what he was holding out, and she was astonished ... every one of them had a sheen across their eyes, their manly, tight smiles proof they were holding their emotions in check.
And then she looked at Tohr. He was hanging back, with Autumn close to his side. As his mate glanced up in concern, he seemed to brace himself to come forward.
"I'm so happy for you," the Brother said roughly to both of them.
"Oh, Tohr," she blurted, reaching out her hands.
As the Brother clasped them, Wrath dropped his arm as if hiding the picture.
"No," Tohr cut in. "You keep that up, you feel that pride. I have a good feeling about this, and I'm rejoicing with you--all the way."
"Ah, fuck," Wrath said, yanking the Brother in for a hard embrace. "Thanks, my man."
There were so many voices, and people congratulating them, but there was one other face she wanted to see.
John was also staying on the periphery, but as he caught her eye, he started to smile--although it wasn't like Wrath's. He was worried.
I'm going to be fine, she mouthed.
Even though she wasn't sure she believed that. She blamed herself for not knowing she was pregnant, for trying to get that needing of hers started falsely--and especially for succeeding. What if that violent nausea had been a miscarriage in the making? What if--
Pulling herself back from the brink, she held on to two things--one, she'd heard that heartbeat, nice and strong; and two, the doctor had raved about the baby.
Abruptly, the sea of people parted ... and then there they were.
Bella, with Nalla in her arms, Z standing beside his girls.
Beth broke down all over again as the female came forward. God, it was impossible not to remember how Nalla had started this, putting into motion the need that had become undeniable.
Bella was tearing up, too, as she stopped. "We just want to say yay!"
At that moment, Nalla reached out to Beth, a gummy smile on her face, pure joy radiating out.
No turning that down, nope, not at all.
Beth took the little girl out of her mother's arms and positioned her on her chest, capturing one of the pinwheeling hands and giving kisses, kisses, kisses.
"You ready to be a big..." Beth glanced at Z and then her husband. "...a big sister?"
Yes, Beth thought. Because that's what the Brotherhood and their families were. Close as siblings, tighter than blood because they were chosen.
"Yes, she is," Bella said as she wiped under her eyes and looked back at Z. "She is so ready."
"My brother." Z shoved out his palm, his scarred face in a half smile, his yellow eyes warm. "Congratulations."
Instead of shaking anything, Wrath shoved that ultrasound picture into his Brother's face. "Do you see him? See my son? He's big, right, Beth?"
She kissed Nalla's supersoft hair. "Yes."
"Big and healthy, right?"
Beth laughed some more. "Big and healthy. Absolutely perfect."
"Perfect!" Wrath bellowed. "And this is a doctor saying it--I mean, she went to medical school."
Even Z started laughing at that point.
Beth gave Nalla back to her parents. "And Dr. Sam told me she's delivered over fifteen thousand babies over the course of her career--"
"See!" Wrath yelled. "She knows these things. My son is perfect! Where's the champagne? Fritz! Get the fucking champagne!"
Shaking her head, Beth took a deep breath and decided to go with the moment. There was still a long haul in front of them, capped off with the delivery--which, Christ, was scaring the shit out of her already. With so many hurdles ahead, and so many unknowns, it was tempting to get lost in a tailspin.
But for the next hour, she just wanted to live with Wrath in all this high-octane joy--be a part of the celebration of this miracle.
