Rad gazed around at his men. “Yes, sir. We’re good with that.” His eyes shifted back to Lauren, who had let her guard down. She now studied him with an absorbed expression of questioning concern radiating from her eyes.
“Thanks for taking the time.” McDunna shook Lauren’s hand and walked her toward the door. “I know it will be a long day for you.”
“No problem,” Lauren said. “Looking forward to the ultimate outcome.”
McDunna checked his watch. “The helicopter is about twenty minutes out. I’ll have someone escort you down to the LZ.”
“I’ll do it.” Rad jumped out of his chair and stepped forward. “Just thought of another question.”
McDunna appeared a little confused, but nodded his head, and turned to Lauren. “This is Michael Radcliff. He’ll be leading the mission.”
Lauren nodded curtly, and then turned and walked toward the landing zone, not waiting to see whether he followed or not.
Chapter 17
Lauren was barely outside the door when she heard footsteps fall in beside her.
“Good to see you again, Lauren.”
His voice sounded just the way she remembered it—calm and almost jovial, as if they were taking a stroll along the beach. Yet she could feel the barely-controlled power that coiled within him as he walked.
“Really?” She didn’t even bother to look over at him. “I’d hate to see how you treated someone you weren’t glad to see.”
“It’s my job.” His tone instantly changed to sharp and severe.
“So your job is to make the person giving a briefing look like she’s incapable of doing her job?”
“My job is to make sure everyone comes out of this mission alive.”
“What a coincidence.” Lauren hated it when her voice got high and shrill like this, but she couldn’t help it. “That’s my job too.”
“Now that you’re finally letting me in on that little secret, any other ones you want to share?”
She heard anger in his tone now but forced a laugh. “Seriously, Rad. You can’t think I was going to spill classified secrets to a total stranger. If you’ll recall, I tried to dissuade you.”
They were now down in a slight swale and behind a small fortification that hid them from view for a few minutes. Lauren didn’t hold back as she began to walk and talk faster. “But did you take the hint, Michael Radcliff? No-o-o. You persisted. Remember? Tracking me down and teasing me with that damn irresistible schoolboy grin of yours.” She pulled him to a stop and pointed her finger into his chest. “And anyway, I don’t remember you sharing with me that you were heading to the biggest shithole on the planet for your so-called training.”
She crossed her arms and turned her back on him, so didn’t get to see that her words made him crack a smile—if only temporary.
“Maybe you’re right.” He grabbed her arm and spun her around. “But this is crazy. You can’t be serious about this.”
“What’s crazy is that I’ve been working in this God-forsaken hellhole for five years, and now I have someone waltzing in here with the unmitigated gall to question my ability.”
“I never questioned your ability.” Rad sounded a little more apologetic now. “But you led me to believe you were a bank executive. Remember?”
“And you led me to believe you were a SWAT cop—not on a military hunt and kill team.”
“I did?” He cocked his head as he stared at her. “Anyway, it’s not a hunt and kill team. We locate. And then we eliminate.”
“Even better.” Lauren clapped her hands together. “Looks like I’ve done half of your job for you.”
She turned and strode toward the landing zone again, her footsteps making a soft sound in the packed down dirt. She knew he was beside her because she could see puffs of dust rising from beneath his heavy boots as she stared at the ground. “Are you going to tell your CO?”
“Tell him what?”
Lauren rolled her eyes and stepped in front of him so he had to come to a stop. “About us.”
Rad glanced at her, and then focused his attention over her head. “I’ll tell him I know you. I’m not going to tell him I’m madly in love with you.”
Lauren kind of laughed, not taking him seriously. “Yeah, that might be something you’d want to share with me first.”
Rad took a deep breath and gazed down at her with a look that was disarming and alarming in its intensity. “I think I just did.”
She blinked when she saw the expression on his face. “But I just met you.”
“Can’t help it.” He brushed past her as if he wanted to end the conversation.
She trotted to catch up and grabbed his arm. “But you have to help it! I mean we’re practically strangers.”
He paused and studied her with disappointed eyes. “No, we’re not.”
“But we’ve been together, all told, the length of one summer day.” Lauren tried to defend her point of view because she knew this couldn’t work. She never dreamed he felt the same way about her as she felt about him. His admission had just complicated everything and made her responsibilities that much more complex.
Rad blinked as if warding off a physical blow while his expression changed to one of mingled pain and disappointment. “I guess I don’t base the depth of my feelings on the number of counted hours spent with someone.”
Lauren exhaled and shook her head. “It’s too dangerous.”
“I can handle it if you can.”
She scrutinized him long and hard. “So you can promise me your mind will be on the mission and your men—not me—no matter what.”
“I’m a professional,” he said bluntly. “I do this for a living.”
When she did not respond other than to give him a doubtful look, he threw his hands in the air. “You know what, Lauren? This whole issue could be resolved if you just stayed here like a good little girl—or better yet, got on a plane for the United States—and let me take care of the nasty stuff.”
“Why you arrogant, self-righteous son-of-a—!”
“Whoa, girl.” He cut her off, his eyes twinkling mischievously.
“I’ve been tracking down this terrorist bastard for five years, and you have the audacity to tell me to stay here where it’s safe?”
Before she had time to say anything else, he glanced down at his watch.
“You got somewhere you need to be?” she asked, sarcastically.
“No. Just checking the date.” Again he smiled a teasing grin. “To officially record our first fight.”
Lauren shook her head in disgust and yet he made her smile. In the middle of a war zone, with danger and peril all around them, she knew he was attempting to lighten the mood.
He reached out and touched her arm. “I’ve got an idea. Dig out your red shoes, click your heels together three times, and go back home.”
“You are freaking unbelievable.” She turned away, but he moved to stand in front of her.
“Okay. Sorry.” His voice was composed, low and even. There was an intensity and a calmness about him that made her feel safe—and made her wish they were both anywhere but here.
“I can promise you one thing. If he’s where’s he’s supposed to be, we’ll get him.”
He spoke convincingly enough, but his grim face and concerned expression betrayed a sensitivity and compassion that threatened to undo her.
“He’s there. You can count on it.”
“I know my guys. He won’t be planning any more attacks after this mission.”
They were both silent a moment, and Lauren assumed he was thinking about what she was thinking about—all the obstacles that would have to be faced to accomplish this mission, and the complications that made it so dangerous. But when he spoke again, she realized that was not what he was silently contemplating at all.
“I wish you would be reasonable.” He leaned down toward her, his gray-blue eyes filled with infinite longing and hope, and conveying a vague, yet discernible uneasiness.
“What does that mean?”
“Go home.”
“Damn you, Rad.” Lauren shook her head. “These are my enemies as much as yours.”
The look he shot her was piercing in its intensity. “Soldiers can afford enemies. Spies cannot.”
The way he said the words, combined with the steely appearance of his eyes, told Lauren what she had already known. His reluctance to let her finish the job wasn’t because he didn’t think she could handle it, but because he felt it his duty to protect and shield her. His spirit and his character were forged for the fight. His innermost essence compelled him to shield and defend. He was a warrior, but he had a heart. A big one.
As Lauren gazed at him in silence she noticed that, despite his calm exterior, he appeared to be controlling his emotions with a mighty effort. His lean, square jaw was set determinedly, yet his brown, rugged face still betrayed anguish and torment.
“The risks are high, Lauren.” His voice was low with barely-controlled emotion.
“I know that.” She looked at him without blinking. “But so are the stakes.”
His cheeks seemed to grow a little paler. “Then I have a question to ask you.”
“Yeah? What?”
“You do understand the consequences if something should go wrong. If they suspect you in any way.” His voice was calm, but his expression was not.
She regarded him defiantly, then shifted her attention to the distant mountain over his shoulder. “I understand what will happen if you and your men move blindly in a sovereign country.”
He exhaled in exasperation and shook his head. “Why does it have to be like this?”
“Because you and I don’t go with the flow I guess.” She looked up to see if he thought her comment was funny, but he didn’t even crack a smile. “Anyway, it’ll be over soon,” she murmured.
“And you’ll get out of there?” She noticed he kept his hands in his pockets now as if to restrain himself, to keep from touching her.
“My orders are to stay and see this thing through.”
“And then?”
She cocked her head and gazed up at him. “And then they’ll pull me out.”
“Do you know when exactly?”
She shrugged. “Not exactly. My guess is soon.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
This was the first time she had seen Rad really agitated. “It means there will be increased security in the area when this goes down so I’ll have to lay low a little while. If I make a move they might suspect me—and uncivilized countries like this don’t treat spies very well.”
Lauren expected a response from Rad, but he remained silent. When she looked up, the expression on his face made words unnecessary. He gazed straight ahead with a dull stare as if seeing imaginary rather than real scenes. It appeared he was visualizing what such countries did to spies and it had not helped her case.
“They might do that anyway,” he said. “Don’t you think the first person they’re going to suspect is someone living in the house across the street?”
Lauren turned her head. Yes it had entered her mind, but she didn’t have a say in the matter. She’d been given the opportunity to pass up the duty—but not to quit in the middle of it. Now that she’d committed, she was bound to stay until the bitter end. She would not be given the option to leave before it was done, and leaving right after would be impossible.
“Living across the street, right under their noses, is probably the safest place I can be. They’d never expect it.” Lauren tried to relieve Rad’s concerns by sounding indifferent about the matter. “Anyway, I don’t pick and choose what duties I perform based on the danger level, and obviously neither do you, so don’t lecture me on it.”
“I’m not lecturing you on it, but what would I have to do to get you to not go back?” His demeanor made him appear stalwart and vigorous, like a man not accustomed to hearing the word ‘no,’ yet his expression revealed deep concern and a touching reluctance to let her go.
“If you knew what I’ve already been through, you wouldn’t ask that.”
“I know you’ve been through a lot. I admire that. But it’s not your responsibility to get this guy by yourself.”
“I’m not exactly doing it by myself.” She crossed her arms. “If I’m not mistaken, you and your men will have something to do with the end result.”
When he didn’t respond, Lauren’s gaze drifted over his shoulder to the distant sky. “I guess the chopper is running behind.” She continued to stare at the wide-open landscape that seemed to repose in a hazy, comforting peace, but she knew that was not the case at all. Her heart thumped at the thought that her intelligence was sending the man beside her into one of the most dangerous missions of the war thus far. His detachment had to get into Pakistan, a sovereign country, without being picked up by radar, conduct a highly specialized mission, and get out. The secrecy, the brevity, and the danger of the operation dictated everything had to go right.
Lauren’s attention drifted back to Rad as she continued to contemplate the complexities of the undertaking. Absolutely everything had to go right—in a hostile village whose inhabitants would fight until the end, and in a country that would scramble air support if they discovered the intrusion. The weight of the responsibility of all those lives lay heavily on her shoulders.
“I know you’re used to this type of thing, but these guys aren’t the type to surrender. Be ready to fight.”
“We’re prepared.” Rad’s eyes sparked, showing the flint and grit of the man.
“Yeah, well, last time I checked, prepared doesn’t make you bullet proof.” Lauren swallowed hard to clear the lump in her throat and blinked back moisture that appeared without warning.
He smiled out of the corner of his mouth. “Worried about me, baby?”
She turned her back on him and glanced up at the sky. “Don’t do this.”
“Do what?”
Lauren bit her lip to keep from saying what she was thinking. Make me fall even more in love with you.
“Just be careful,” she said without turning around.
“Same to you.” His tone softened.
Lauren turned around and forced a smile. “By the way, the phone number you have isn’t good anymore.” She was embarrassed when he studied her closely, knowing that long hours, high stress, and inadequate sleep had left dark circles under her eyes. “I’ll be going completely dark now.”
“Okay. Well, can you memorize mine?”
She nodded.
“Not sure how long I’ll be in country with no phone access,” he said after giving her the number and listening to her repeat it. “You know how it goes.” They were both silent for a moment. “But I’ll be waiting to hear from you after this. Soon.”
“Okay, but just so you know, I’m not in the habit of thinking too much about the future.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He stared down at her, a hint of anger—or at least uneasiness, on his face. “You make it sound like you’re not looking forward to the future.”
“No. It’s not that.” She shook her head but couldn’t bring herself to meet his gaze. “I’ve just never been one to get my hopes up, that’s all.”
“Do me a favor and start thinking about it.”
Lauren blinked at the possessive authority in his voice and the lethal intensity of his expression.
“Like it or not, you’ll be seeing me again,” he said. “I can promise you that.”
“Sir?”
Lauren and Rad turned toward the voice. Neither had heard the approaching soldier.
“What is it?” Rad asked.
“Sir, there’s a reporter from CNN here to talk to you.”
Rad scowled. “Send him to McDunna. I don’t talk to the media.”
“Yes, sir, but she asked specifically for you. Said she was an old friend.”
Lauren watched Rad as he took the card the man handed him and scanned the name. He swallowed hard as he stuffed the card in his pock
et. Other than that, his face was unreadable. “I’ll be right there.”
The clunking reverberation of a chopper could be heard, and Lauren knew in another minute they would not be able to hear each other. As the soldier scampered away, she held out her hand. “Take care, Rad.”
His face met the message from her eyes, and seemed to return it. He clasped her hand and leaned closer, obviously making a point to appear completely professional to anyone watching. “If we were any place but here, you know you’d be in my arms, right?”
Lauren looked up and studied his eyes. Instead of hearing his words, she was thinking about the conversation on the beach with Heather. Her heart pulsed at a fluttering tempo, caused partly by the regret that she had to leave and partly by a streak of jealousy she didn’t even know she had within her.
The noise of the chopper thundered above them. “Be safe, Lauren.”
She nodded and mouthed the words. “I have the easy part.”
It appeared he wanted to disagree, but they both had to turn their backs from the sand and debris kicked up from the chopper. As soon as it touched down, Lauren threw her bag on the floor and climbed inside, giving the pilot a thumb’s up when she was ready. She stared out the window as they rose and saw the dust from the rotor wash enveloping Rad in a misty, sinister-looking fog.
Dressed in cargo pants and a long-sleeved shirt, with a modified M-4 rifle slung across his chest, he walked with his head down against the flying sand and debris. His broad shoulders and above-average height, together with the way he carried himself with deft professionalism, gave the impression of great power and control. He was a warrior and a leader. Lauren knew things were in good hands with him leading the raid.
Lauren kept her eyes glued to his form, hoping he would turn around and watch her until she was out of sight. She wanted to see him smile and wave and let her know he was still thinking about her. But he continued to walk with that strong, purposeful stride back toward the hanger with a demeanor that told her his mind was already focused elsewhere.
As the chopper banked hard and turned away from the base, Lauren struggled to keep down the wave of fear that threatened to overwhelm her just when she most needed strength. It wasn’t the fear of dying, and it wasn’t the fear that Rad didn’t love her. It was simply the dread—or the painfully uncomfortable feeling—she might never see him again.
Meant to Be Page 14
