by E. L. Todd
She nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Well, I’m busy.”
I barged inside then slammed the door behind me.
She backed up quickly, looking at me in a way she never had before. Fear was in her eyes. She was no longer comfortable around me. Shame was registered on her face. The embarrassment was evident too.
Now that I was there, I didn’t know what to say. The moment had come. I could tell her exactly how I felt, that she was the one woman I wanted in my bed every night. I cared about her more than I’d ever cared about another person. She was my life. What words could I say to explain that? “I talked to Max.”
She nodded slightly. “Oh…”
“And he told me what you said—about me.”
She averted her gaze and stared at the floor. “I…I’m so sorry. The last thing I want to do is interfere in your relationship. My feelings are harmless, I swear.” Her voice shook at the end.
I closed the gap between us and placed my forehead against hers. “I feel the same way, Ophelia. I’ve felt that way for a long time—since the moment we met.”
She looked up at me, and confusion came into her eyes. Her eyes darted back and forth as she searched my face. Her lips moved slightly, making a surprised look. “What…?”
“Ophelia, I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time.”
She still didn’t understand. “But…how is that possible?”
“It’s a long story but…I’m not gay. I’ve never been gay. I will never be gay.”
Wordlessly, she questioned me.
“I’m a professional escort. Your brother paid me to pretend to be his boyfriend to make a good first impression with his parents—and you. I did as he asked, but the second I met you I couldn’t stay away. I wanted to get warm from your fire.
“I asked Max if I could tell you the truth a month ago. But he said I couldn’t. Spending every day with you has never been friendly on my part. To me, you are everything. To me, you mean the world. I’ve wanted you for so long and it was torture not having you. When you told Max how you felt, he realized he couldn’t keep us apart just for his own gain. So, now I’m telling you the truth, that I’m madly in love with you.” I looked into her eyes and watched her reaction. There wasn’t much to work with. Her eyes narrowed but she didn’t speak. I had no idea what she was thinking. I waited for her to say something, to tell me how relieved she was we could finally be together.
But she remained silent.
I gripped her hips and leaned in. I kissed her on the mouth and tasted her lips. I’d already kissed her before so I knew exactly how it felt but it still caught me by surprise. I squeezed her to my body and breathed into her mouth, loving every second of it.
She kissed me back, slowly and not with as much enthusiasm as before. Her lips didn’t possess as much life, and not nearly as much passion. Then she broke apart altogether. “I’m sorry…it’s just a lot to take in.”
I knew I dropped a lot on her. “I understand.” I didn’t kiss her but I kept my hands on her.
“You’ve been straight this entire time?”
“And madly in love with you.” That was the important part.
“So, when we were in the changing room together…you were straight?”
I watched her change and that was probably a bad idea. “Well…yeah.”
“And you saw me naked…” She looked mortified.
“You had your underwear on.” That was a stupid thing to say.
Her cheeks blushed. “And when I slept with you…you were straight.”
“Yeah…”
“All this time, you’ve been straight.”
Was it that hard to understand?
“So…nothing about you is true.”
“No, that’s where you’re wrong. Everything else about me is true.”
“But you aren’t a pharmaceutical inventor. You’re an escort.”
“Well, that’s the only thing,” I said.
She shook her head. “I just…feel like I don’t know you anymore.”
“Don’t say that. You do know me. And we can get to know each other again if that’s what you want. I’m more than patient.”
“So, you’ve never been gay?”
“I’ve always been straight.” I already said this. Our reunion was not going the way I wanted—at all.
“Have you ever had a serious girlfriend before? Have you ever been married? I don’t know any of that.”
“The answer to both questions is no.”
She nodded but didn’t seem satisfied with that response.
“Sweetheart, nothing is different. Now we can have what we want.”
“Cameron…” She paused while she gathered her thoughts. “All that stuff that happened with him, him getting sick, him spilling the wine, and you catching him cheating on me…that was all you.”
I sighed. “I may have tailed him to see what he was up to. But it wasn’t to break you up so I could have you. It was to keep you away from him because he’s a dog that doesn’t deserve you.”
“When you asked me not to sleep with him—”
“I knew he was cheating on you. I just didn’t have the proof yet.”
She stepped back and crossed her arms over her chest. “I feel like my world is completely turned upside down. What I thought I knew was true is just a lie. I don’t know what to make of it.”
I cupped her face and forced her to look at me. “Everything between us was real. That is the only thing that matters anyway.” I kissed the corner of her mouth then pulled away. “When I kissed your tears away, that was real. When I slept with you and ran my fingers through your hair that was real. When I beat the shit out of Cameron three times to defend you that was real. What I feel for you is true. Ophelia, that’s all that matters. Let’s take it slow and you can see that.”
“I don’t know.” She took another step back.
“Don’t shut me out,” I said immediately.
“Cameron lied to me. Our whole relationship was a lie. And…that really hurt. And now this feels the same way.”
“Don’t you dare compare me to him.” My words came out as a growl. “Ever. I actually care about you. I actually love you. It’s not the same thing.”
“It was still all a lie, even if it was under a different context.”
I gripped her arm and dragged her back to me. “No, it’s not. I was doing my job and I couldn’t throw Max under the bus. Don’t be like this, Ophelia.”
“Do you really not understand my point of view?” Her voice grew stronger, full of anger. “I’ve been hating myself for weeks for betraying Max. I didn’t understand how I could fall for a gay man. It made me question myself entirely. But to know you were straight the whole time…I feel like a fool.”
“You aren’t a fool,” I said gently. “I was hitting on you left and right. I wanted you to fall for me so when my assignment ended I could have you.”
“So you messed with me on purpose?”
“No, I didn’t mess with you. I may have amazing skills but I can’t make someone fall in love with me.”
“I changed in front of you…” Her cheeks reddened to tomatoes.
“And it was a beautiful sight.” I didn’t see the point in being ashamed. “I already stared at your ass whether you were wearing anything or not.”
The anger flashed in her eyes. “You shouldn’t have gone in the changing room with me.”
“I know,” I admitted. “But fuck, I’m only human. Cut me some slack.”
“This is just too weird. I feel like you’re a different person.”
Why was this happening? Why did Max have to be right? “Ophelia, I’m not asking you to be mine immediately. We can take this slow. Let me take you on a date and you can get to know me—the real me. You’ll see that I’m exactly the same person.”
“I don’t know…”
“I do,” I said firmly. “Give me a chance. Don’t just throw me away. We both know we’re perfect together.”
“How could I possibly know that?” she demanded. “When I don’t know you and I don’t trust you?” She stared me in the eye as her words lingered in the air. The accusation and anger floated like a cloud.
Now I was getting mad. “That night I picked you up from that bar, I took you to my place. The second I put you on my bed you started kissing me. And I don’t mean something gentle and innocent. Your tongue was down my throat instantly.”
Her eyes widened at my words. She seemed genuinely surprised so she must not remember.
“Then you took off your dress and your thong then you ripped off my clothes. We made out together, totally naked on my bed, and you begged me to make love to you. Do you not remember it?”
She shook her head and looked away.
“I’ve never been more attracted to a woman in my life and I wanted you—so bad. You were underneath me with your legs around my waist. I could have taken you and you wouldn’t have even remembered it. But I didn’t. I put your clothes back on and made you go to sleep. Maybe I’m not perfect and I didn’t handle this situation in the best way, but I’m not a terrible guy. I looked at your ass when I shouldn’t but I didn’t fuck you when you were wasted. So, that’s the kind of guy I am. And that’s all you need to know.”
My words didn’t seem to have a positive effect. If anything, she seemed embarrassed. She stepped away from me and headed to her room. Without looking back at me or speaking, she closed the door and locked it.
Fuck, why was this happening to me?
***
Ophelia refused to speak to me or talk to me. Every time I called she didn’t answer. Every time I went to her apartment, she didn’t answer. Max wasn’t much help. Every time I spoke to him, he shrugged and gave me that look that said, “I told you so.”
How did I fix this?
How did I get her back?
Maybe she just needed time. It would be difficult to believe one thing about a person you considered to be your best friend and then to be told it was a complete lie. I tried to be sympathetic to her position but it was difficult. Why couldn’t I just hold her while she acclimated to the change? I hated being shut out.
Not having Ophelia in my life was driving me crazy. Whenever I was at the gym, it didn’t feel the same without her. When I slept in my bed, I wished she were lying beside me. There were times when I saw something funny and wanted to tell her about it but I couldn’t.
I missed her.
Did I really find the girl of my dreams just to lose her?
I wouldn’t take this defeat lying down. Maybe she didn’t know if she could trust me but I could convince her otherwise. I’d never given up on anything in my life. It would be stupid to give up on the one thing that actually mattered.
***
I knew what time she got off work so I headed to her office. I didn’t want to corner her on the street and scare her. At least this way she knew I was coming. And she knew she couldn’t get away.
Her secretary spotted me then spoke over the intercom. “Jett is here to see you.”
I didn’t need to remind her who I was. She remembered me. “Thanks.”
Ophelia’s voice came over the intercom. “Tell him I’m very busy.”
Burn. “I have a surprise for her.” I smiled at her assistant, trying to charm her.
“Go on in.” She batted her eyelashes at me then returned to work.
I walked into her office then shut the door behind me.
Ophelia released a loud sigh, clearly wanting me to hear. “I’m very busy, Jett.”
“You get off work in…” I looked at my watch. “One minute. I doubt you’re that busy.”
She pulled her hair over on shoulder, what she usually did when she was flustered. “Coming to my office is inappropriate.”
“Well, we both know I’ve never been appropriate.” I approached her desk and leaned over it. “Let’s get coffee after work.”
“No.”
I leaned further until our lips were almost touching. “Yes.”
Her breath fell on my skin and she glanced at my lips.
She still wanted me. “I’m not going to stop until I get a few minutes of your time. I suggest you cooperate.”
“Okay, Cameron.”
I let the burn wash over me. “Stop comparing me to him. You don’t want to see me mad.”
“I’ve seen you mad before.”
“No, you haven’t.” I held her gaze for a moment before I dropped it. “Let’s finish up and go.”
She gave me a venomous glare before she stacked up her papers and put her computer to sleep. Then she grabbed her purse and flipped her hair over one shoulder.
I stared at her as she came around her desk. She wore a black dress with a gray cardigan. Heels were on her feet. She looked sexy, like always. I opened the door for her, showing her I was the same man I used to be.
She glanced at the gesture then walked out.
We walked out of the building and to the sidewalk in silence. She seemed determined to remain quiet. I was saving my ammunition for the coffee shop. When she was sitting across from me and looking at me, there was nowhere for her to go.
We reached a Starbucks and I opened the door for her. “This place sounds as good as any.”
She walked inside then stood in line.
“What are you getting?”
“I can get it,” she said quickly.
Why was she being so stubborn? “I insist.”
“It’s fine.”
“I suggest you stop being a brat before I make you.”
She met my look without flinching.
Then I gripped her neck and pressed a hard kiss to her lips.
She flinched at the touch but didn’t push me off or try to stop me.
I pulled away. “Now tell me what the fuck you want.”
“Iced black tea,” she said like a robot.
“Now take a seat and I’ll be there in a second.” I try to keep my voice low so I wouldn’t attract the attention of other people in line.
She did as I asked.
After I got our drinks, I sat in the seat across from her.
Polite as always, she put the straw in her drink and said, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” I tried to be gentle since I was pretty harsh on her a second ago.
She sipped her drink then stared at me, clearly not willing to speak first.
“I went to NYU for college. I majored in business. When I graduated, I had a ton of student loans. Rhett came up with the idea of us escorting people in desperate need of dates. It was good and easy money but soon it started to snowball. We were quickly making more money doing that than anything else we could possibly do. So, it just stuck.”
She nodded her head slightly in understanding. “And you sleep with people?”
She thought I did? No wonder why she was so distant with me. “No, absolutely not. We just do handholding and waist touching. That’s it. We have strict rules about that kind of stuff.”
She breathed a noticeable sigh of relief. “And when you slept in Max’s room…”
“I slept on an air mattress on the floor—alone.”
“I see…”
Hopefully that would make her warm up to me. Who wanted to date a prostitute? “My job isn’t just being somebody’s date. There’s more to it than that. I make a lot of lifelong friends. Max is a good example of that. I really like him as a person and I’m glad I could help him in whatever way I could. I’m just sad it didn’t work out the way he wanted.”
She stared at me with unreadable eyes. “If you’ve never had a girlfriend before, does that mean you sleep around?”
I knew this question would come up. “Yeah.” I wasn’t going to hide it or lie.
Disappointment filled her eyes. “I’m not that kind of girl, Jett.”
“I know. Why do you think I’m in love with you?”
She rolled her eyes. “So typical. You sleep with all of Manhattan but will only s
ettle down for a girl with a low number. I hate sexist pigs like you. So, if I slept around I wouldn’t be good enough for you?”
This was backfiring. “That’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m just attracted to the fact that you respect yourself. That’s all. You don’t need male attention like most girls. It has nothing to do with the number of guys you slept with. You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve seen, and that’s saying something sense I live in Manhattan, and you’re totally blind to it. Now that’s sexy as hell.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, pushing her breasts up without realizing it.
I did my very best not to look.
“So, for the past four months you’ve been sleeping with random women?” Disdain was in her voice.
“I haven’t slept with anyone since the day I met you.” That was the truth. She was the only woman I had in my bed. “I got offers, like usual. But I didn’t want that. I want you.” Sincerity shined in my eyes. “I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship because they seem boring and repetitive. You can only have sex with the same person so many times before you’re bored out of your mind. But my friends have been settling down and I’ve never seen them happier. Then when I met you…it all made sense.”
“You haven’t slept with me. I may be boring and repetitive.” Sarcasm leaked in her voice.
“I’ve fooled around with you. Believe me, it wasn’t boring.”
She looked away, unable to stand the heat in my eyes.
I leaned over the table. “What else do you want to know about me?”
“You have an STD?” It was a jab, not a serious question.
“No. I get checked often.” I didn’t rise to the insult.
She kept her arms across her chest.
“You’re being really stupid right now.” The words came out without thinking.
“Excuse me?”
“We love each other. I fell in love with you the moment I laid eyes on you. You fell in love with me…I’m not sure when. And that’s all that matters. I know it’s under unusual circumstances but the situation doesn’t change who we are. You and I connected on a deep level. It was just there the second we met.”
“But I was open with you because I thought you were gay,” she hissed. “I never would have been so forward or honest if you were just some guy trying to sleep with me. So, the circumstance does make a difference.”
