by Imogen Wells
“Well, as you can see, I’m fine. I have work in a few hours, so if you don’t mind.” I give him a tight smile. The lie burns on the way past my lips, but I need him to leave.
“You’re a terrible liar, do you know that?”
“Yeah, well it takes one to know one.” I berate myself for letting him bait me into replying.
He steps into my space, and my body locks up as he reaches out a hand, snatching a handful of my hoodie and pulling me into his body.
“I’ll go. But don’t think you can hide from me forever, Firefly,” he says before slamming his mouth down on mine, trapping the air in my lungs. Coupled with his kiss and unique scent, which wraps around me, it doesn’t take long for me to become lightheaded. Just as I think I might pass out, he breaks the kiss. With nostrils flaring and eyes like liquid gold, he drops a kiss to my nose and then just walks away.
I want to scream. Scream so loud the whole damn city will hear me. Why is this man always walking away from me? Why do I let him?
Because you want him. Because you think you could love him.
“Piss off. What the fuck do you know? Stupid conscience.”
Twenty
Seb
As soon as the words leave my lips, I wish I could take them back, but they’re out there. When I told her Rick sent me, it wasn’t a lie. But telling her she was wrong had nothing to do with Rick and why I was there and everything to do with the other night. I let my guard down, and she didn’t miss my slip up or the opportunity to call me out on it either. Now I have to deal with the fallout of my foot in mouth affliction. An affliction that is out of fucking control around this crazy, gorgeous woman.
I wouldn’t mind so much if her feisty attitude didn’t get me hard as steel and wanting to sink into her sweet as sin pussy. I had little control over what happened next as my lips met hers. She gave in easily to this crazy, fucked-up attraction we have towards each other, and I wonder what it would be like if she was mine. And mine alone. To own her, to consume her and never let her go.
But I can’t have that, so I broke the kiss before it could go too far. She’s not ready yet. I’m not sure I am either, but I can no longer deny I want her. Can’t deny that she makes me want to try.
I make it back to the apartment and find Jay sprawled across the sofa watching some action movie with a beer in his hand. That looks like the perfect way to spend the rest of my day, so I grab a beer from the fridge and drop down into the seat next to him.
“Bad day?” he asks, humour and sarcasm not so thinly veiled in the question.
“The fucking worst.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“Fuck no! I ain’t no fucking girl that talks about her feelings and shit.”
“Okay, well, go and get laid then. That’ll sort you right out.” He nudges my shoulder, chuckling.
“You know what, that’s a great idea.” I leave it hanging there for a second knowing as soon as I say my next words, he’s going to laugh his arse off. “Pity my dick doesn’t agree.”
Jay cracks up. “Man, that is…” He clutches his side, laughing so hard. “Wow. That is a definite problem,” he snickers.
“No shit, Sherlock,” I say, landing a punch to his arm. I don’t hold back either, so his pain filled cry is warranted. We sit in silence for a couple of minutes, staring at the TV and drinking our beers.
“What’s holding you back from taking what you so obviously want?” I side eye him, but he keeps his eyes on the TV.
I shrug, not really having an answer to that question. There’s no deep and dark trauma in my past when it comes to my own relationships, no childhood girl that screwed me over and jaded me, but I guess growing up in a house with parents that could barely stand being in the same room as each other might have something to do with it. Having a father who took his vows about as serious as a career criminal takes an oath on the stand at court meant that my morals might have gotten screwed growing up.
What I realised as I got older was, I’d rather spend my life playing the field than fall in love and break every promise I made to the one person I proclaimed to love. When I tell Jay, he nods in understanding.
“I get it, Seb. But you ain’t like your dad, and Jamie isn’t your mum. For all that full of yourself and cock-sure attitude you give off, I know you, man. Underneath you’re loyal and commit when it’s needed. You were in the army, you were prepared to give up your life for the love of your country and a shit load of people, some of which don’t deserve it. There is nothing to make me think, when the time comes, you’ll let the person you love down. If anything, I think you’ll love so hard, you’ll drive Jamie crazy with your possessiveness. Not to mention your controlling behaviour in the bedroom. Jamie is not a woman you can control, let me tell you.”
I give him another punch and snarl at him. He just laughs as if I just proved his point. I don’t tell him that he couldn’t be more wrong about Jamie in the bedroom.
I fill him in on what went down last night and this morning. Jasper being there this morning is worrying me, and the fact she wouldn’t tell me what he wanted and lied about work all add up to something not being right.
I thought after our conversation with Rick the other night, she would have stayed away. Then I remember what Rick said about her looking for her own answers. It’s the sort of thing she would do. Exactly the stupid, reckless kind of behaviour she’s been displaying lately.
She doesn’t realise it, and hopefully she never will, but I’ve been keeping tabs on her. I’d be a fool not to.
“What you thinking, man?”
I tip up the bottle, draining the last mouthful. “I’m thinking that Jamie is about to step into a world of trouble.”
“Yeah? You mean more trouble than she’s already in with you?” Jay laughs, and though a smirk pulls at my mouth, I give him another punch. “Oww. Stop hitting me, man. Or whatever favour you’re about to ask me, will be flat-out declined with no possibility of reconsideration.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I tell him, starring into my empty bottle.
“Sure you do. Come on, hit me with it. And not literally this time, please.”
I sigh. “I need you to follow her tonight. She’s up to something, and I need to be at this meeting with Rick, otherwise I’d do it myself.”
“Sure thing.” Jay slaps my thigh as he gets up. “You want another beer?”
“No, I’m good. I need a clear head for later.”
I pull up at Rick’s just before nine and park next to Dom’s car. I called Rick earlier and told him what happened, and that I sent Jay to watch Jamie tonight.
Rick mentioned that although Ryder wanted to be here tonight, Cam is sick. It’s a shame because Ryder is the one that knows Dom best. They worked together a couple of years ago, so it’s kind of crazy that Cam stumbled into his daughter’s life.
I find Rick and Dom in the lounge with an array of papers spread across the table, and a discussion already underway. A slightly heated one by the sounds of the raised voices.
“You started without me. Damn. You know how much I love a good debate.” Rick covers a laugh with a cough, and Dom slings daggers at me as I walk round to take a seat in the empty chair.
For some reason Dom doesn’t like me. I can’t quite figure out if it’s just me or because he knows who my father is. Whatever the reason, it’s going to be a problem because I like fucking Jamie, more than I should, and I know she likes it too.
I don’t particularly like the guy, should I say, his job at least, and if it turns out the threats to Jamie are because of him, then we’ll be even in our dislike of each other.
Once Dom feels he’s made his point with the dirty looks, he goes back to talking to Rick like I’m not even here.
“I spoke with Louise, but she’s hiding something.”
“Have you told her about the photos?” Rick asks.
“Of course I haven’t. She’d be devastated, and what would even be the point?�
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“The point,” I say. “Would be forewarning her so she isn’t blindsided. Imagine how she’ll feel if she finds out some other way and that you knew and didn’t tell her.”
I get the impression from the scowl marring Dom’s face that he’s not too impressed with my advice. However, despite his obvious dislike of me, he drops his head on a sigh.
“Fine. I’ll talk with her. But I still want Jamie left out of this. There’s no reason to worry her with this if we don’t need to.”
Rick and I share a look that doesn’t go unnoticed by Dom. I give a lift of my brows, telling Rick to go ahead and tell him.
“Actually, there is something we need to discuss with you regarding Jamie.” Dom looks between the two of us before turning back to Rick.
“What’s going on? I told you from the start that I didn’t want her involved.”
“And up until now we have done as you asked, Dom. Have you spoken to your daughter recently?”
Dom rubs a hand across his chin, scratching the scruff that’s grown on his usually clean-shaven face.
“Well…er…not since we went to brunch a week ago. Things didn’t go well when I tried to talk to her about talking to her mother. Another reason I don’t want her involved. Things between her and Louise are strained enough without adding—” He waves his hand around like he’s trying to find a better word than porn for the pictures of Louise. “Compromising pictures of her mother to the mix. It’s bad enough she knows about the affair, but if she found out about—” He points to where some of the pictures lay face-down on the table. “Can you imagine how that would go down?”
I give a little cough to cover my smirk as I picture Jamie losing her shit when, not if, because let’s be honest it’s going to happen, she finds out about this. Dom’s eyes flash to mine, and the intense look in them has me concerned for my health. Damn! I thought Rick’s death glare was bad, but he has fuck all on Dom. I shift uncomfortably, not just from Dom’s look, but also because my dick decides now is a good time to raise its head at the image of Jamie all fired up and spitting venom. I’m not sure I want to be around when he finds out I fucked his daughter. More than once. More times than I can count on one hand, but who’s counting.
“Dom,” Rick says, drawing his attention back to him and away from me. “I think it would be a good idea if you call Jamie tomorrow and catch up with her.”
“Does this have something to do with why she’s been trying to get hold of me the last couple of days?”
“I don’t know, but just call her, okay?” He nods. “Have you given any more thought to who might behind this?”
Dom looks at Rick like he just asked him the million-dollar question, and Dom’s had a sudden attack of amnesia. “Like I already told you, in my job you get to piss off a lot of people. There’s no way for me to narrow it down.”
My phone rings, and I walk to the kitchen as I answer.
“Jay, what’s up?”
“It’s all good, man. Just letting you know we are at Rosco’s.” Jay’s voice is hesitant, and I get the feeling there’s more.
“Okay. And…” I leave the question hanging. I do a mental countdown in my head as I wait for him to spit it out.
“She’s with Jasper.” I can almost feel his wince down the phone. “Look, I’m here and keeping a watch over her. Do what you need to do and don’t worry, I’ve got this.”
I finish the call with Jay and go back to get this shit meeting over with because I have a very bad feeling in my gut.
Twenty-One
Jamie
When Seb walks away, I let out the breath I’ve been holding in. The one it feels like I’ve been holding since he took all the oxygen in the room, in my lungs, with a kiss that has left my head spinning. I have no idea what to make of him telling me I can’t hide forever. He doesn’t understand what he’s asking of me. To step out from behind the emotional wall I’ve built since college and let someone in again.
The first, and last man, I ever let into my heart burrowed inside so deep, that when his betrayal was revealed, he ripped my heart apart from the inside out. He left a heart so torn, I didn’t think there would ever be enough tape or a person capable of sticking it back together again.
After catching my boyfriend of two years and my best friend fucking in a corner at a college party, I thought that was as bad as it could get. How wrong I was. What followed left me questioning everything, not just my relationship with Josh, but everything I believed about love and friendship.
That Jamie, the hopeless romantic who believed she’d find her Prince Charming and spend the rest of her life in a happy little bubble, died that night with her first love and best friend since primary school.
Only they were truly dead, and I was reborn. This Jamie was a darker, jaded version that no longer believed in the happy ever after she grew up wishing for.
No, now she believed that love was a big stinking pile of horse shit and having lots of meaningless sex was a much better way to live. To give her body but never her heart, never the whole of herself. Nobody told her it would be a lonely and empty existence. Lots of fun, sure, but that’s it.
Nobody warned me that one day I’d meet a guy who could change all that if only I’d let him. Seb is forcing me to feel again. Forcing my heart to beat to a different rhythm. One I’m not ready for. And now, I’m in an eddy, spinning recklessly, swimming to stay above water and not get swept away by the tide.
My head and heart are fighting a battle I’m not sure either one will win, but it’s one that will leave me breathless and washed ashore like driftwood.
I’m brought out of my thoughts by a loud bang outside, and a car speeds by backfiring again. I slam the door closed on my thoughts and emotions, locking them up tight.
I messaged Jasper and told him I’d meet him there. There’s something about him that has me on guard. Something that I never noticed before, but now warns me to keep him at a safe distance.
When I arrive, he’s waiting for me outside and it’s uncanny. I’ve been here before, exactly like this, only this time there’s a creepy sense of dread building in my gut. My stomach flip flops, and I lay a hand on it, applying a little pressure as I try to push the feelings away, mentally and physically.
“Hey,” Jasper greets me, immediately leaning in to kiss my cheek, and my skin tingles. When he pulls away, his eyes rake over me, becoming glassy as he takes me in. The tingle turns to an itch that has me wanting to tear a layer of skin off, and a shiver skitters down my spine.
I step away, hoping a bit of distance will ease the uncomfortable feeling writhing inside me.
“Hi. Shall we get inside it’s chilly out tonight.” The words sound out of character, even to my own ears, and I’m not surprised Jasper picks up on it.
“You okay? You seem a little out of sorts,” he asks as I begin walking towards the front entrance of Rosco’s.
“Yeah, I’m good, just a busy day, that’s all.” I offer him a small smile that he accepts without further question. As we close the distance to the door, I feel eyes on me. There’s no queue tonight, but it’s early, and I look around searching out the reason for the strange feeling. My eyes find hazel ones, and I relax a little at seeing Alex here.
“Hey, beautiful. I was not expecting to see you back so soon.” Alex winks, and wraps me in a hug. I feel the exact moment he locks eyes on Jasper. His body tenses against mine, and he seems to squeeze a little tighter, not wanting to let me go.
“You know me, Alex, always ready to party,” I say, trying to inject a little pep in my words, but I see I failed as Alex’s smile falters slightly. “Thank you again for last night. And I’m sorry too.”
“Oh, please. You know I’ll always look out for you, that’s what friends are for, right?” His fingers reach out and touch my cheek as a cough sounds behind me. Alex keeps his eyes on mine for a beat longer before raising his head and looking past me. “Evening, Detective.” Once again, Alex’s words hold a bite of loathing, and I
’m still confused as to where his dislike for Jasper comes from.
“Alex. Sounds as though you’re a good friend, you know, the one that’s always there at the right place, right time.” I’m confused by the berating tone in Jasper’s words, almost like he’s bitter about something. These two confuse the hell out of me.
“That’s me. We’ve known each other a long time, and Jamie knows I’d do anything for her.” His eyes flick to mine with another trademark wink that’s so Alex.
“Of course. It’s always good to have a friend like that in your corner.” Jasper places his hand on my back, and I almost flinch at his touch, but manage to hold it back. “Come on, let’s get that drink. Good to see you again, Alex. Take care now.” Jasper edges me forward, and I keep my eyes on Alex as we pass through the door.
Jasper’s last words to Alex run through my mind as we walk to the bar. I can’t help the feeling there was some hidden threat there, and it’s just another thing my brain is scrambling to figure out.
When Jasper asks me what I want to drink, I’m surprised to find myself asking for a coke. With the feeling that something is off tonight, I decide I’m going to need a clear head.
We’ve been here for just over an hour, and once we sat down the conversation between us flowed. I’m taken aback when Jasper revealed that he was married, but his wife died, and only a year ago too. He tells me that I remind him of her, and I’m not sure how I feel about that. Actually, I do. I feel a little creeped out by the whole thing and offer to go get more drinks to get a little space for a few minutes.
I’m about a foot away from the bar, when suddenly the music stops, and the lights go out. For a split second, everything is still and silent, and then I’m jostled from behind as people begin to panic. I lose my balance and get swept up as a tide of people try and surge for the exits as the emergency lighting switches on.
My ankle gives out from under me as my heel snaps off in the melee, and pain flares as I try to stay on my feet. Adrenaline shoots through me, and my heart thumps against my chest as I stumble along with the crowd. Up ahead, I can see the exit sign, and I try to level my breathing as the green light from the sign gets closer.
