by Amy J. White
Outside, my car has become an unfortunate casualty in the continuous onslaught of winter. Biting wind nips at my nose. I shiver, teeth chatter as I fumble with the car keys.
Inside isn’t much different and I quickly get the engine started, heater blasting.
Buchanan is much different than the life I once lived in Detroit. My father served as a beat cop walking the streets. One night he came face to face with a ruthless drug dealer who turned a .9 mm Glock towards my dad and fired.
Distraught and barely making it through school, I barely held together. My mom got us out of the city as soon as possible when her job of fifteen years laid her off.
Why we moved to Buchanan, I still don’t know, though I’m more than glad we did. Meeting Casey, even as the geeky stalker in high school did more for me than I cared to mention as a brooding teenager with daddy issues.
Seeing him now, knowing how we both feel, my heart feels fuller. I hope he feels like we can be more than just “friends with benefits.”
My thoughts end when I pass the local market to the bakery belonging to my friend Rachel. Through the front glass window, I see Ryley sitting opposite Rachel, her mouth gaping on what I think is a laugh.
Beside her, I make out the top of the baby stroller out. It reminds me of being in the waiting room while Ethan went into the birthing room, coming out with a face paler than a ghost.
The memory makes me laugh. I’ve known Ethan a long time, but never seen him as shaken up as I did on that day.
I pull my car into the closest parking spot, kill the ignition and take a few deep breaths to prepare myself for the cold, running as fast as I can across the street to get to Rachel’s bakery.
Smells of coffee and fresh baked goods wafted through the air the minute I opened the door. This place never hurts for patronage.
I scan the crowd to the table I saw driving past. Ryley notices me immediately, waving me over. I wave back and walk to join her, taking a seat next to the baby.
“Glad you were able to break from your busy single schedule and have lunch with us,” Ryley says with a laugh.
Ryley has a post-baby body I pray I have after Casey and I – wait, what am I thinking? Is that even a possibility at this point? – have our own child.
“Hey, quit teasing her. From what I hear, that’s all about to change,” Rachel says. Her eyes lower in sarcasm. “How was Casey the other night? I saw you two leave the bar.”
Good old Buchanan gossip. I shake my head. “Shut up. Nothing happened that night, but man did something ever happen last night.”
Shut up! Shut up! My brain shouts at me. Of course my mouth refuses to listen.
Both women’s brows rise as they lean in.
“Oh really! Do tell,” Rachel says. She lurches back, hands on the edge of the table hard enough to nearly spill the coffees. “Oh my gosh did you two finally roll around in his bed? Please tell me you did!”
I knew I should’ve shut it when I had the chance. Nerves got the better of me – something so rare, it shakes the universe – and I start to twiddle with the hem of my sweater.
Intense heat flows across my cheeks and I bite my lower lip wondering how I’m ever going to get out of the storm I started.
“Well, no, we didn’t really –” I start, stumbling over my words.
What could I say where everyone in town wouldn’t find out? Would Casey be angry at me?
God, why did you open your mouth? I squeeze my eyes shut
.
Neither Ryley or Rachel would say anything, that much I knew, but what about someone else who overheard what we talked about?
No, I’m being silly. Plus, who cares who I’m with? It’s not like everyone didn’t see it coming in the first place.
The answer! Everyone!
Gossip, especially people getting knocked up is the bread and butter in Buchanan.
As I’m about to open my mouth to combat what Rachel said, I hear a loud squeal from behind the coffee bar.
My eyes widen when I see who it is: Ryley’s mom, the town gossip.
Chapter 7
Casey
When I learn from Ethan that Ryley’s mother is blabbing about Lilah and me, then I start to see red. Who in the world would Lilah have told and what are these lies about my shacking up with her?
This is the worst thing to happen, especially when I did so much to try and think Lilah wanted me for more than just sex.
Maybe I’m wrong. I mean it is Ryley’s mother I’m talking about. Then, what did Lilah really say?
I need to get to her and find out what the hell is going on before my name is smeared through the mud.
Leaving my house, I get in my truck to drive the short distance to Lilah’s. I’m not embarrassed to be talked about. Everyone in Buchanan talks, but being talked about is one thing. Being lied about and made out to look like I’m in the middle of some scandal is another.
What did Ethan tell me? Something he heard from a guy in the bar about how Lilah lived up to her name as the city girl who got into every bed she could?
It was just a stupid rumor Betty Todd started when she got jealous of Lilah getting all the attention. Town slut is what Betty made everyone think Lilah was.
Now, with this new gossip – thank you Mrs. Dursey and most likely Betty Todd – Lilah was probably in a state of utter dismay.
I grit my teeth so hard I think they might break. An overwhelming sense of protection shatters every plan I wanted to put into motion.
Lilah needed more than games right now. She needed someone who knew the deeper part of her. The part of her she kept hidden behind a wall of ice to protect herself.
I try the florist where Lilah is supposed to be working first. Flo stands behind the counter so I walk up to her, fists curled at my sides.
“Flo, is Lilah here today?”
Flo shakes her head. “No. She called today, Casey. Apparently the talk got to her worse than I thought it would.”
“None of that shit is true, Flo. You know Lilah. Do you ever think she would do those things?”
Another shake of the head.
I open my mouth to speak again when I hear the shrill voice of the very blonde I can’t stand.
“Wow, you did grow up. Little Creepy Casey,” Betty Todd walks up to me, thrusting her breasts out.
In looks she is the opposite of Lilah. The hourglass body, huge breasts and thighs so thin they don’t touch.
“Mm, baby. Why don’t you forget the town slut and come have some fun with me? She’s not pretty enough to have you anyway.”
I want to hit her. Thankfully, my mom always instructed me never to hit a lady. “Betty, if anyone is worthy of that horrible nickname, it’s you. Lilah never once did any of those things you accused her of. I won’t let you or anyone tarnish her name with disgusting lies.”
Betty laughs. “Please. You’re the geeky boy who always chased her. Of course you’re going to blindly defend her. Tell you what, once she has you, come see me. We’ll see what you think then.”
Before I do something ungentlemanly, I push passed, hearing Flo scold Betty for the vicious words she said.
Racing out of there, I head back to my truck. She wouldn’t go to her house. She’d go somewhere safe. Somewhere she always went when she needed time to herself.
Luckily for my lovely Lilah, I know that place. It’s the place I dared to give her the first letter I ever wrote her.
I reach the pier in the late morning after stopping to get a special breakfast from Addy’s diner. To nurture Lilah’s heart, I want to help mend what hurts. Let her tell me her side of the story and finally break down if she wants to.
At the end of the wooden structure, I see Lilah sitting with her legs hanging over the side, arms resting on the lower splintered beam.
Without speaking, I cross the pier to sit next to her, my back against one of the vertical beams. Glancing at her, I see she’s been crying, her beautiful mouth downturned in a scowl.
After a sig
h, she says, “I didn’t tell them anything, Casey. Nothing they’re saying is true.”
She rattles on more, but I don’t reply, letting her talk, going back as far as the old days.
“I hated coming to this place. Begged my mom to let us move once the rumors started,” She adds.
I move to position my long legs behind her, my pelvis settling into her lower back, chin propped on her head. “I never believed them, babe. Betty’s always been a bitch.”
I kiss her hair. She leans back into me, and starts to sob. I pet her, murmur soft comforting words in her ear, and lean back on my hand so she can settle into my collarbone.
“Lilah, don’t worry about what people are saying, sweetheart. I love you. I always will –”
She pulls away, wide red-rimmed eyes staring. “What did you say?”
A smile draws the corners of my lips up. “I said I love you, Lilah. I always have and I always will. If you will let me?”
Sputtering laughs break through the sobs. I watch her pull her legs from their dangling position so she sits on her knees. Arms wrap around my neck, pulling me close.
I embrace her with my free arm, closing my eyes, relieved that I have the woman I pined for all these years.
No words are exchanged. In truth none needed to be.
We both knew the unspoken feelings between the two of us. And it all started with a single letter I was brave enough to give her.
Epilogue 1
Lilah
The mattress creaks below us as Casey thrusts his thick cock between my wet folds. I scream at him to take me harder, faster and deeper with each movement of those sinfully talented hips.
Around my clit, he rubs a rough thick thumb pad, pushing me further towards the orgasm I’m balancing on the edge of.
Following the soul-sharing experience at the pier, Casey offered to take me home. I didn’t want to let him go without showing him exactly how much he means to me.
I begged him to take me home with him, to continue what we started in his bed a few nights ago. My mind made up, I wasted no time once we arrived at his house to connect my lips with his, plunging my longing tongue into the sweet woodsy recesses of his mouth.
Casey answered my hunger with his own, hauling me over his muscular shoulders like a sack of potatoes. I laughed the whole time, wincing when he smacked my rear end.
Once we were in his room, he hurried to get us both undressed, repeating how much he wanted, no, needed me naked.
Our game was over in that moment and I’m so glad it was.
Feeling him thrust in and out of me, taking my sex with such ferocity it brings about a sting of pain each time he bottoms out, pulls himself free, then slams himself back inside makes me whimper in pleasure-mixed pain.
He leans over me, his arm cradling my back, nose nestled against my collarbone. I know this means he’s standing at his own edge, ready to fill my womb with his seed.
“I’m going to fill you so full, sweetheart. So full you won’t know how to breathe. So full you will get pregnant with my child.”
My eyes widen at his declaration. He…he does want me to be the mother of his children.
I dig my nails into his shoulder blades, screaming his name when my orgasm ravages my body, feeling his warmth as it fills my womb.
The words I say are breathy, labored. “Yes, I want that too. I want to have your children, Casey.”
Our eyes meet. “Will you marry me?” He asks with his own voice winded.
I waste no time in nodding my head. “Yes! I will!”
Casey takes my lips in a blistering kiss, sucking my lower lip, causing me to moan. He pulls free of my sex, reaching between my legs where he runs a wet trail from my clit all the way to my ass.
The devilish grin I have come to adore creeps across his lips. He’s not done with me. I know that look.
My suspicions are answered when two thick fingers tease my still throbbing opening. He thrusts them in me, slowing to a gentle pet.
“Get ready for me. I’m already wanting a round two,” He says.
Exhausted from the late hour, I roll my eyes, happy to see he’s as horny as I am.
I place my fingers over his lips, stroking them. He closes his eyes. “Open for me,” I say.
Casey opens his mouth, allowing me to ease my fingers in to feel the softness of his tongue. The sounds escaping him make my heart pound like a drum.
Heat erupts over my cheeks, between my legs where his fingers are working me over.
“Can I have your mouth first?” I ask.
Casey’s eyes open. He smiles my favorite smile around my fingers. It still amazes me how well he knows me and how similar we are when it comes to what we want in bed.
The loss of his thick fingers disappoints me for a moment. But, only for a moment.
My legs are hoisted from the bed over his beautiful shoulders. Those hands cup my butt cheeks, his thumbs lightly needing the cream flesh.
Instead of rushing into to devour me like he did the first time, he breathes hot against my tender clit. It sends shivers up my spine.
“Is this what you dreamed?” He asks.
The question takes me aback.
“When you saw me walk into the florist, is this one of the dirty dreams I saw cross your beautiful eyes?”
I know my cheeks turn red because I avert my eyes. Having his mouth take me is one of the many dirty dreams I had regarding both of us. “One of them.”
“Tell me more. I want to give you everything. Every dirty fantasy you’ve ever wanted.” His words are like butter rubbing between my legs.
Right now all I want is to have him enjoy me like a man who longs for his favorite meal. I want him to bite, suck and lick me until I’m begging him to put his cock back in me.
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” I sound more like a squeaking mouse.
“Retreat into your head.” His wicked tongue laps up the juices leaking out of me. “Tell me. Tell me while I’m tongue-fucking you.”
I’m supposed to think? How in the hell am I supposed to think when his tongue spears into my sex, replaced by light sucking, then thrust back into me?
“I…ah!” My hips start to move against his mouth. It feels so good I forget to speak.
Casey, the asshole, stops to stare at me. “Yes?”
“God, why did you stop?”
“Because you stopped talking.”
I mumble under my breath. He starts up again when I tell him how I want him to take me anyway he can. I want him to invade me everywhere he wants.
It excites him, I know because I watch his cock stand at attention, pointing at me.
The next immeasurable amount of hours, Casey gives me what I want.
Taking me however he can in the most imaginative ways he can.
By the end of it, I exhale, asking him if he’ll let me rest my well-used body in the warm heat of the shower.
Epilogue 2
Casey
Nine months later
I wake to the sound of crying over the crackling baby monitor. Lilah lies naked next to me, her gorgeous face pressed into the pillow.
I know she is tired. We made love numerous times once the baby went to sleep. The couch, the living room floor, in the kitchen over the counter and in the bed before passing out from exhaustion.
She moans, sleeping eyes opening when I start to shift. “Adam awake?”
I nod. “Don’t worry, babe. I’ll take care of this one. You get some sleep.”
A tired smile forms over her lips, her eyes closing.
I ease out of bed and make my way down the hall, stumbling like a zombie towards our son’s room.
Bright eyes shine in the dim light of the Spiderman nightlight casting blinking lights across the ceiling.
“Hey, little man.” I reach in to scoop him up. “Let’s get you something to eat.”
With Adam in my arms, I walk to the kitchen, bouncing him lightly, humming a song my mom always did when she rocke
d me back to sleep.
From the fridge, I pull one of the small bottles of Lilah’s milk. On the counter, a bottle warmer sits next to the coffee maker.
I place the bottle in the warmer, take Adam into the living room and sit in the lounge chair, rocking him. He coos and does a little leg kicking.
The brief moment while we wait for his bottle to warm, I think back to the time we found out Lilah was pregnant. It wasn’t long after we got married in an impromptu meeting with the priest.
One of those honeymoon pregnancies.
Guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I went after Lilah pretty hard the moment we escaped into the tiny bed and breakfast laid back in the thick tree-line.
I think it was four or five times a day the whole week. What else could I expect?
She’d woken up complaining of being nauseated, running to the bathroom to throw her guts up for a straight fifteen minutes.
After that, we went to the store to get one of those home tests.
“And that, little man, is how we found out you were waiting in mommy’s womb,” I say on a laugh.
Adam stares up at me gnawing on his fist.
Holding him both terrifies me and intrigues me.
In the birthing room, it scared the hell out of me, ripping my heart out of my chest to see Lilah in so much pain. She strangled my hand, begging me not to make her keep going.
I stroked her face. “It’s okay, sweetheart. You’ve got this. He’s coming,” I said.
Our son is coming. Just thinking about it brings a smile to my face.
The crucial moments after that, Lilah held Adam, humming to him. I remember getting coffee after the long hours of labor.
I sat next to them and Lilah opened up, telling me what she wanted to name him. “Did I ever tell you about my dad?” She’d said.
I remember shaking my head. “No. Is he why you chose the name Adam?”
She nodded. “Yes. That was my dad’s name. He was a wonderful man, Casey. You would’ve loved him. You’re so much like him.”
