“I have to do the right thing,” he said as he took my face in his hands once more. “Even if it’s killing me inside. I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” I sighed as I looked up into his eye, forcing a smile on my face.
“Can we still be friends?” Seth asked, and I could hear the sadness in his voice. I closed my eyes, leaning into his touch. I wished more than anything I could have told him no; that I never wanted to see him again. I knew in my heart that pretending that I didn’t have feelings for him was something I would struggle with. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t imagine not having him in my life now. I knew if I could only have him as a friend, then that’s what I would have to accept.
“Of course, we can still be friends,” I whispered, knowing that he was hurting as much as I was.
“Thank you,” he said with a smile as he leaned forward, kissing my forehead. “I should be going.”
“Okay,” I nodded as he still held my face in his hands and stared down into my eyes. I could see the struggle in his eyes, it almost broke my heart. I stepped back from him, breaking our connection, knowing one of us needed to make the first move.
“Goodnight, Seth,” I whispered as I took another step back. Reaching into my bag, I pulled the keys out finally, then turned and slipped it into the lock.
“Goodnight, Savannah,” Seth said as he gave me a look that shattered my heart. I didn’t reply. Instead, I closed the door before I turned and hurried up the stairs to my apartment, needing the safety and solace it offered me.
When I got to my room, I flopped down on the bed and finally allowed my tears to flow freely.
My head was spinning. I knew that my feelings for Seth were more than just some stupid crush. I knew that what I felt for Jared didn’t even come close.
Maybe if I ended it with Jared, Seth and I might be able to be together. That’s what my head was telling me, but in my heart, I knew that even if I finished my relationship with Jared, Seth would never betray his friend. He was just that type of man, which only made me want him more.
Still, I knew I needed to end things with Jared. Lying to him was wrong. I just couldn’t pretend anymore. I needed to do the right thing.
I suddenly felt so tired and overwhelmed. I curled into a ball on my bed, allowing pure exhaustion to claim me.
Chapter 10
Seth
As I stood there, staring at the door to Savannah’s apartment building, my stomach heaved, as my heart pounded rapidly in my chest.
I kissed her!
I fucking kissed her!
But then I ripped her heart out and stomped on it. I was such a fucking idiot.
I turned to walk back to my car, but everything inside me told me to go after her and make sure she was okay. I turned and walked back up the steps and reached for the buzzer on her door. The last time I was here, I had just slipped into the building as some guy was leaving, but this time I would have to buzz her intercom and pray she would let me in.
I looked for her apartment number on the intercom, finding it almost straight away. I took a deep breath as I reached up to press the button on the intercom, but just as my fingertip connected with the cool, metal button, I stopped, quickly pulling my hand back.
What are you even going to say to her? I sighed in my mind. Nothing has changed in the last five seconds. She is still Jared’s girl, and you are still the douche that kissed her.
I released a frustrated sigh before I turned and slowly walked back down the steps to my car, knowing that the right thing to do was to walk away.
I climbed into my car and sat there for the longest time praying for the strength to not get back out to go after Savannah. It almost killed me to see her so sad. I knew that if I saw her again, my resolve to do the right thing would weaken, and I wouldn’t be able to hold back.
I started the engine with a heavy heart, then pulled away from the curb, heading back to Sylvie’s house.
When I reached Sylvie’s house, I wasn’t surprised to find the house in darkness. I knew that Sylvie and Jolie were already in bed.
Letting myself in the door as quietly as I could, I slipped off my jacket, heading for the stairs. I felt exhausted, so I was looking forward to climbing into my bed. As I started up the stairs, I looked up and found Jolie sitting at the top of the stairs.
“Jesus, Jo!” I exclaimed in a hushed voice as my heart hammered in my chest. “You scared the crap out of me.”
“Sorry,” she replied with a smile. “I wanted to see how your first night back in Joe’s went.”
“Or you wanted to see if I hooked up with some skank,” I replied, giving her a knowing smile.
“Well, I just wanted to be sure,” she shrugged and smiled again. “But I’m glad you’re home. I miss you when you’re not here.”
“I miss you too,” I said as I leaned forward, kissing her forehead, then sat down on the stairs in front of her. “What did you get up to tonight?”
“We baked,” she smiled. “And before you ask, I kept you some biscotti.”
“You’re lucky you did,” I replied with a chuckle. “I think I will save them till morning though.”
“I have hidden them, you know, just in case Jared turns up,” Jolie added with a laugh. “You know what he is like when it comes to food.”
“I do,” I nodded, laughing too. I watched her for a moment and noticed that her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. I recalled her comments in the Bakery the day we had cleared the air. “Are you okay, Jo?
“Why wouldn’t I be?” She asked, giving me a look that said she wasn’t being completely truthful. “Everything is perfect. You’re here, and I have Sylvie too…”
“And Jared,” I added, softly nudging again her with my shoulder. “You know we all love you very much.”
“Speaking of Jared,” Jolie said without letting her eyes meet mine and I knew she just wanted to change the subject. “Was Sav singing tonight?”
“She was,” I replied, avoiding eye contact with my kid sister. I knew she would see straight through me if anyone would.
“Isn’t she amazing?” Jolie exclaimed. I could hear just how much she liked Savannah in her voice. I wondered what she would think if she knew that I liked her too. That I had kissed her when I wasn’t supposed to. I wondered if my sister would understand. I wondered if anyone would understand. I doubted it.
“Yeah,” I sighed with sadness, as I remembered how sad she was when I had left her a short while before. “She’s pretty amazing.”
“Wouldn’t it be great if she and Jared got married,” Jolie said, as a knot formed in the pit of my stomach. “I know Jared isn’t really my brother, but we are kind of like family. Sav would be like the big sister I always wanted.”
“I guess she would,” I replied, not knowing what else to say to her.
“Maybe if you give Callie a chance…” Jolie continued cautiously, but I sighed, standing up before she could finish the sentence.
“And on that note,” I said as I turned, kissing her on the forehead once more. “I’m going to bed.”
“But…” she said, but I gave her a look, and she quickly stopped.
“Goodnight, Jolie,” I said as I pulled her up to her feet, turning her around. “Now bed.”
“I don’t get you sometimes,” she huffed, as she stomped up the stairs in front of me.
“I know,” I replied with a smile as I walked up the stairs behind her. “If it helps, I don’t get me either.”
“Your portfolio is very impressive,” Michael Larkfield said as he glanced up briefly from scanning through my photographs.
“Thank you,” I said nervously as I sat across the desk from him, in his large corner office in The Washington News head office. I had no idea why I was so nervous, but I was. This job was important to me. It was my ticket to stay in Washington with Jolie, just as I had promised her.
“You have a very good eye,” he continued, as he finally lifted his head once more, looking at me. “Richard Powers speaks very highly of you
too. He said you were definitely one on the way up.”
“I’d like to think so,” I replied, unsure of what else to say. I smiled when I thought about Richard. I had met him when I was in my second year in college. He took a real interest in my work. He was the one that got me the job in Australia and Thailand. He insisted that they use me for the shoot; that there was no other option. It was he who had managed to get me this interview.
“I think you would be a very good fit here at the paper,” Michael said giving me a friendly smile.
“I think I would too,” I replied, feeling very excited. “This is exactly where I want to be right now.”
“Good,” Michael nodded as he looked back down at my resume. “I see the address you provided is in Pullman. Are you planning on renting something a little closer to the office, or do you plan on commuting every day?”
“Well,” I began, feeling a little thrown by his question. “I assumed that as a photographer, I would be able to work from home, coming into the office whenever I needed to. I mean, Richard had suggested that would be how it would work when he told me about the job.”
“Yes,” Michael said, but I knew from the tone of his voice, that wasn’t really the answer he wanted to hear. “It’s just; we start here early most days. The team meet at 7 a.m. every morning and discuss what the stories we will be covering for the day. I believe it’s a ninety-minute drive from Pullman.”
“I don’t mind starting early,” I replied as I tried to think on my feet.
“And in the case of a breaking story,” he sighed as he took off his glasses and looked at me carefully. “Ninety minutes is a long time in a breaking case.”
“I know,” I replied as I shifted nervously in my seat. “But I thought I was being hired for the commercial side of the paper. I wasn’t aware that I would have to cover the news desk too.”
“Well,” Michael smiled as he picked up his glasses once more. “In the event of an emergency, it’s all hands-on deck.”
“I see,” I nodded.
“Look, Seth,” Michael sighed as he sat back in his chair, looking me straight in the eye. “I will be straight with you. We want you on board. Photographers don’t come as highly recommended as you. Your portfolio is flawless, and before long, your name will bring clients to our newspaper.”
“But you need me to live closer,” I added, finishing his thought.
“It just makes more sense,” he replied with a nod. “Look, you don’t have to give me an answer straight away. I can give you a couple of weeks. And if you should choose to take the job, we can provide you with an allowance to help with the relocating.”
“I see,” I nodded as I slowly stood up, and offered him my hand. “I will need some time to think about it, but I will give you my answer as soon as possible.”
“I look forward to hearing from you,” he smiled as he took my hand and shook it firmly.
Once I said my goodbyes, I left his office, heading for the elevator. My mind was racing with each step that I took. I knew that there was no way that I could take the job and move ninety minutes away from Jolie. I knew that there was no way she would ever agree to come with me either. Besides, once she started back in school in a few more weeks, she would have to move back to Pullman anyway.
“FUCK!” I yelled once I was in the safety of the elevator. I pushed my hands through my hair as I blew out a long, frustrated breath. This was not how I had seen this day going. I closed my eyes, taking a few deep, steadying breaths.
Fuck it! I thought to myself as the doors to the elevator slid open. Now, what the fuck will I do?
“There you are,” Jared said from the kitchen door, as I walked through the front door of Sylvie’s house. “I was wondering if you got lost on your way home.”
“I just went for a drive after the interview,” I replied as I slipped off my jacket. “I needed time to think.”
“Didn’t you get the job?” Jared asked giving me a worried look.
“I did,” I sighed as I gave him a tight smile. “That’s the problem.”
“Sounds like you need a few beers with your old best mate,” Jared said just as Jolie hurried out from the kitchen.
“Well!” She exclaimed excitedly. “Did you get the job?
“I will know in a week or two,” I lied and gave Jared a look that told him not to say anything. “So, fingers crossed.”
“What are they waiting for?” Jolie sighed as I walked towards her, before she turned, leading me into the kitchen.
I froze when I walked in and saw Savannah sitting across the table from Sylvie.
I hadn’t seen her since the night I drove her home from Joe’s, and right now, she was the last thing I wanted to have to deal with. She looked up, giving me a nervous smile, but I knew from the look on her face, she didn’t really want to be here either.
“How did it go?” Sylvie asked when she looked up and saw me standing just inside the doorway.
“Okay, I guess,” I replied, as I turned my focus to her. “I will know in a week or two.”
“Well hopefully it will be good news,” Sylvie said as she stood up. “You must be famished.”
“Actually, I stopped for food on the way home,” I lied once more. The truth was, I was not hungry, but I knew if I said that to Sylvie, she would have given me her usual response to that comment, ‘Empty sacks don’t stand.’
“If you’re sure,” she said giving me a strange look, and I knew she could tell something wasn’t right.
“Actually,” Jared said as he slipped his arm around my shoulder. “I thought that Seth and I might head down to Joe’s for an hour. You know catch up a little. I feel like I have barely seen him since he came home.”
“You’re going out?” Jolie asked, and I knew she was not happy about it. I had worked the last five nights straight, and Jolie wasn’t less than impressed.”
“It’s just for an hour, Jolene,” Jared said with a laugh as he pulled her ponytail. “You don’t mind that do you.”
“My name is Jolie, Asshat!” She snapped back, just as I knew she would. Jared called her that to tease her ever since I could remember, and she hated it when he did. “And you can do what you like.”
She looked at me expectantly.
“I promise I will just be an hour, Jo,” I said, giving her a pleading look. “Maybe we can watch a movie when I get back?”
“Can I pick?” She asked, but still she was pouting.
“Of course,” I laughed as I walked towards her, kissing her on the forehead. “I’ll even bring home some munchies, we can have a carpet picnic.”
“Deal,” she said as she gave me a big grin. “Maybe Jared and Savannah can stay too.”
“They probably have other…” I began to say, knowing the last thing I wanted was a night with Jared and Savannah.
“Sounds like a plan,” Jared cut in as he stopped me mid-sentence, slapping me on the back. “You’re the best, Jolie.”
“What about Savannah?” Sylvie asked realising that Jared had completely forgotten about her. “Would you like to go with them?”
“Or you can hang out here with Mom and Jo,” Jared interjected quickly, and it was very obvious that he didn’t want her to come. I was a little surprised by this, but then I remembered the conversation I had with Joe, and I wondered if maybe Jared was losing interest, or worst, behaving like the old Jared.
“Sure,” Savannah replied, forcing a smile, as she turned to Sylvie, then added. “If that’s okay with you?”
“You know you’re always welcome here, Sweetie,” Sylvie replied, smiling back at the girl.
“There,” Jared said as he grabbed his jacket from the back of a kitchen chair. “All sorted.”
Without even saying goodbye, Jared headed for the door, leaving me standing in the centre of the kitchen with the three ladies. I could tell that they were less than impressed with how Jared had just blown Savannah off.
“We won’t be long,” I said as I gave them a smile before my ey
es met Savannah’s. She returned my smile, but I could see she was upset. I wanted so much to comfort her, but it wasn’t my place; no matter how much I wanted it to be.
I followed Jared out to my car, unlocking the doors as I made my way down the steps to where he was waiting next to the car.
“I have to say, Seth,” Jared said as I reversed out of the driveway. “This is a pretty sweet ride. I bet the chicks will be lining up for you to fuck their brains out on the back seat.”
“I can’t wait,” I replied sarcastically.
“Come on, Seth,” Jared laughed as he glanced over at me. “Lighten up, dude. You’re young, free and single. You should be making the most of it. To be honest, I kind of envy you.”
“But you’re with Savannah,” I said, looking over at him, giving him a questioning look. “I thought you really liked her.”
“I do,” he sighed. “I mean I did, but…”
“But?” I asked, unable to hide the interest in my voice. “I thought you said she could be the one.”
“I did,” Jared replied with a shrug. “I do, it’s just…”
“Just?” I pushed trying not to seem too interested but failing miserably.
“Lately, she seems off somehow,” Jared sighed. “Like, something is bothering her. She’s changed.”
“Changed how?” I asked, as a stab of guilt shot through my entire body, knowing exactly why she had changed.
“I don’t know,” he said. “It’s like, before, we used to have this awesome sex, now… Well now she doesn’t even want to. I mean, it’s been a couple of weeks…”
He trailed off without finishing his thought. We drove for a few minutes in silence, as my mind raced with so many questions.
“Jared, don’t fuck this up like you always do,” I said, knowing that I needed to say something. “She is a sweet girl. Don’t hurt her.”
“I won’t,” he replied, but he didn’t say any more than that. The rest of the drive was done in silence.
“So,” Jared said as we slipped into a booth in Joes, ten minutes later. “What’s the deal with the job? Why is it a bad thing that you got it, and why did you lie to Mom and Jolie?”
The One Page 10
