The moment I stepped out into the night air, I gasped hard, desperate for some precious air into my burning lungs. I slumped over, pressing my hands against my knees to keep my balance. I closed my eyes, and took several deep breaths, as I focused on calming my now racing heart.
Finally, when I was breathing normally again, I stood up, and without thinking, I kicked over a trash can that was next to the front door.
“FUCK!” I screamed out into the night, and a fresh wave of anger swept through my body. “YOU IDIOT!”
“Seth,” a voice from behind me said softly. I quickly turned around and found Callie standing there, looking at me like I had lost my mind.
“Callie,” I said, as I took another deep, calming breath. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t see you standing there.”
“Are you okay?” She asked but made no effort to close the distance between us.
“Yeah,” I replied and offered her a smile. “Just having a bad day.”
“Well, we all have those,” she sighed and gave me a sad smile, as she finally took a step closer to me. “So, it’s allowed. But if you need to talk to someone…”
“Thanks, Callie,” I replied, and gave her another smile. “Are you coming inside?”
She glanced at the door, and almost looked unsure if she wanted to or not.
“I guess so,” she finally replied before she turned back and looked at me. “But if you need me to stay here and talk, I can do that too.”
“Thanks,” I sighed, knowing that staying outside wasn’t really an option. “But I think Joe will notice if his barman disappears.”
“Well, if you change your mind,” she replied with a nervous laugh. “You know where I am.”
“Thanks, Callie,” I said as I turned back to the door and pulled it open for her.
“Thanks,” she said as she walked past me, into the bar. As she did, I couldn’t help but wonder why I couldn’t have liked her the way I like Savannah. I mean, she was very pretty, and she seemed very sweet too.
Maybe you should give things with her a chance? I thought to myself, as I stepped through the door behind her. But the moment I stepped through the door, I spotted Savannah standing on the stage, staring straight down at me, and I knew it right then and there that it would never work with Callie; or anyone for that matter, not as long as I had these feelings for Savannah.
The moment our eyes met, she turned away, but even from this distance, I could see the sadness in her face, and it almost killed me.
I knew that I hurt her the week before. I knew that I had ruined everything for her and Jared, but I had to do the right thing.
Now, I wondered if it had been the right thing after all. I just didn’t understand how the right thing could hurt so much.
With that thought eating away at my heart like a cancer, I turned back to the bar, as I decided I needed just to let it go and get back to my life.
As it was the week before, the bar was packed to the rafters, with everyone that had come to see the band; and as it was the week before, Savannah was phenomenal.
I tried not to look at her while she was singing; the truth was, hearing her was hard enough. Plus, I knew Jared was there, and I didn’t want to do anything that would have made him in any way suspicious.
I was also surprised when Callie sat at the bar, deciding not to join Jared up near the front with a couple of other guys we knew from around town. I thought it was strange, but then again Savannah was her best friend. She probably didn’t think it was right for her to hang out with her best friends ex.
Despite the fact I didn’t really have any interest in her, I talked to her when I could, and I was surprised to discover how easy she was to talk to, and she had somehow made the night pass by a little faster.
The couple of times I had allowed myself to look up at Savannah, I was surprised to see her watching me, but her face was completely unreadable.
Fuck! This girl is so frustrating! I sighed in my head.
“Seth,” Joe called from the far end of the bar, pulling me from my thoughts. “Can you go into the office and get me change for one hundred?”
“Sure,” I replied as I walked down the bar and took the two fifties from Joe’s hand before I smiled at Callie. “I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll be here,” she replied and returned my smile.
I hurried out from behind the bar, and down the hallway to Joe’s office. I opened the safe and swapped out the fifties for some bags of coins.
I took the bags of money to Joe’s desk and was just double checking I had the right amount when the sound of two people arguing, drifted in from the hallway, and I instantly stopped what I was doing the moment I recognised Jared’s voice. He was talking to a girl, but I wasn’t sure who.
“You’re hurting my arm,” whoever the girl was said, and I could hear the anger in her voice. Quietly I walked to the door and looked out through the narrow opening, but all I could see was Jared. He looked mad as hell.
“I want to know what the hell you’re playing at,” he demanded. “I know what you’re doing, and you’re wasting your time.”
“And what am I doing?” The girl hissed, but her voice was so low, I still couldn’t place who it was.
“I told you that I was coming here to talk to Sav tonight,” Jared replied, and the frustration in his voice was clear. “You promised you wouldn’t be here!”
“Well, I changed my mind,” she shot back.
“You’re just trying to piss me off now,” Jared replied as he punched the wall next to her. “What is it you want from me?”
“You know the answer to that already,” the mystery girl replied, and there was almost a challenging tone in her voice. “Until then, you don’t get to tell me what to do.”
“Just stay away from Seth,” Jared growled. “He is my best friend, and I don’t want you messing with his head. He is already suspicious enough.”
“Then make your choice,” she hissed as she pushed him.
“You women are fucking nuts,” Jared retorted before he turned and left whoever it was standing alone in the hallway.
I was tempted to step out and see who it was, but I knew that if I did, Jared would know I heard them, and I wasn’t sure what my next move should be.
Instead, I turned back towards the desk and started to pick up the bags of money, before I made my way back to the door. I hesitated before opening the door, but when I stepped out of the office, the hallway was empty once more.
By the time I got back to the bar, Jared was already back in his booth, but I had no idea who the girl was.
“Is everything okay?” Joe asked as I handed him the bags of money. “You look like you wanna punch someone out.”
“Yeah, everything’s good,” I replied and forced a smile before I turned and walked back down to the other end of the bar, where Callie was waiting for me.
“I thought you got lost,” she said with a grin when I reached her.
“Can I get you another drink?” I asked, giving her a smile before I glanced over at Jared one more time. He was watching Savannah, but I knew by his face he was silently fuming. I knew him better than he knew himself sometimes, and I knew by his face, that whatever trouble he was in, he was in over his head.
I didn’t doubt that he thought he loved Savannah, but Jared was always weak when it came to girls. He was always looking out for the next best thing.
I looked up at her on the stage, singing her heart out, and I knew that she had no idea what was going on with Jared. But then, she too was fighting her own demons.
What a fucking mess, I thought miserably.
“SETH!” Callie called, pulling me from my thoughts once more. “Are you okay? You were miles away.”
“I’m good, thanks,” I said, giving her a smile. “Just ready for this night to be over.”
“I bet,” she laughed, but before she could say another word, Meggie came back to the bar. I glanced at her, and instantly I could see she had been crying.
“Are you okay, Meggie?” I asked, watching her closely, I didn’t have any great love for the girl, but she was a girl nonetheless, and she was upset.
“I’m fine,” she replied without looking at me.
“Has something happened?” I asked, as I quickly looked at Callie before I looked back at Meggie. When I did, I noticed a red mark on her wrist.
“Nothing that matters,” she sighed as she took off her apron and set it down on the top of the bar. “Can you tell Joe I had to leave early?”
“Sure,” I said, and for some reason, I glanced over at Jared. Sure enough, he was looking over in our direction.
“Bye, Seth,” she said without looking at me. I watched her as she turned and hurried out of the bar.
A couple of minutes later, Jared slipped onto the stool, next to Callie and gave me a worried look.
“What was wrong with Meggie?” He asked as he glanced from me to Callie.
“She didn’t say,” I replied as I watched his reaction, but there was nothing. I wondered if it had been Meggie in the hallway with him; and if it was her, that meant Jared had lied to me.
So much for being my best friend, I thought to myself, feeling more than a little irritated. I had tried to do the right thing, but for what? A best friend who lies to my face?
Ten minutes later Savannah finished up her final song before she headed to the bar to join Jared, Callie and me. The moment Jared spotted Savannah, he stood up and gave her a nervous smile.
“Sav,” he said, giving her a nervous smile. “How have you been?”
“Good,” she replied, giving him a timid smile, before she briefly glanced at me.
“I um… I was hoping we could talk,” he said, giving her a pleading look.
“Jared,” she sighed, rubbing her tired eyes. “I’m tired…”
“Please,” he begged as he reached out for her hand. “I could drop you home.”
“I guess so,” she sighed, this time refusing to look at me. She also didn’t pull her hand away from Jared, and that pissed me off.
FUCK! I screamed in my head. I hated that I felt so jealous, but I was. What if she’d changed her mind? What if she took him back? You need to get a grip! And maybe you need to get laid. That will help you forget, whatever the hell this was.
“Callie,” I blurted out suddenly without even thinking. “Do you need me to give you a ride home?”
The words were out before I even thought about what I was doing, and the moment I said them, I regretted it.
She looked at me for a moment, before she glanced at Jared and Savannah, then replied with a smile. “I would love you to.”
Savannah’s face dropped, and I knew I had just made an epic mistake, but it was done now, and I couldn’t take it back.
Maybe this is a good thing; I tried to reason with myself. Maybe you need to let her go and move on.
Jared and Savannah said their goodbyes, before he led her to the door of the bar. I stood there watching them, waiting for her to turn back one more time, but she didn’t. And my heart sank.
I turned and looked at Callie, giving her a smile. But I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. I had asked this sweet girl to let me drop her home for all the wrong reasons. Now she was smiling at me and I felt like the biggest asshole in the world.
Fifteen minutes later, I pulled the car up outside Callie’s place, and turned to look at her.
“Would you like to come in?” She asked, giving me a hopeful look.
“I’m kinda beat,” I said giving her a smile, wishing for the hundredth time since they left the bar that I had just kept my mouth shut.
“Not even for a night cap?” She asked as she took off her seatbelt and leaned toward me.
“Maybe some other time,” I replied, wishing she would just get out of the car.
But she didn’t, instead she leaned in further and pressed her lips against mine, as she gently rubbed her hand up my leg, then grazed my cock with the tips of her fingers.
“You can count on it,” she whispered before she kissed me again, then pulled back, and climbed out of my car.
FUCK ME! I thought to myself as I watched her walk up to her front door. What the fuck was that?
I started the engine once more and headed for home; glad that this shitty night was finally over.
Chapter 15
Savannah
I lay on my bed and stared at the white ceiling above me. I wanted to cry, but I knew if I gave in to my tears, I was never going to be able to make them stop.
I replayed the night in my head over and over, and each time, my heart broke a little bit more.
Seth left the bar with Callie. As much as I wanted it not to bother me, it did. The truth was I was completely heartbroken that he had.
I knew I had no right to be upset. Seth was a free agent. He and I could never work, so why shouldn’t he want to move on. I just didn’t know why things had to be so complicated.
Jared! I thought to myself miserably as I remembered the conversation that I had with him the night before. God my life is a complete mess.
The whole night had been a disaster if I was honest.
When I walked into the bar and saw Seth standing there, staring straight at me, I knew that the night was going to be so much harder than I thought it was, which was why I’d called in sick the week before. If I was honest, I had considered calling in sick again last night too, but I knew I would have to face Seth sooner rather than later.
The minute I stepped through the door, my eyes met his, and I knew he had been waiting for me. I hesitated briefly, knowing that me being there was probably a bad idea. But there was nothing I could do about it now. So, I smiled as I made my way up to the bar, trying to act as normal as I possibly could.
“Hey,” I said trying to sound natural, but failing miserably. “You’re working tonight.”
“Yep,” he replied with a casual tone, but I could tell he was as nervous as me. “Can I get you something to drink?”
Before I could reply, Meggie returned to the bar, giving me a dirty look, before she turned her attention back to Seth.
I didn’t know why I disliked this girl so much, or why she disliked me, but right at that moment, she was the last thing I needed.
The second she started flirting with Seth, I just wanted to slap her. But I didn’t. Instead, I made my excuses and headed to backstage to the rest of the band.
“Hey, Sav,” Andy said, the moment he saw me walking through the door. “We missed you last week.”
“I’m sorry I let you guys down.” I replied, feeling shitty for letting down my real friends because my life was such a train wreck.
“Hey,” Andy said, his smile fading a little, when he saw the look in my eyes. “Are you okay, Sav? What’s happened?”
“Nothing that matters” I replied, shaking my head quickly, refusing to give into the tears that were now burning my eyes.
“Has something happened?” Andy pushed in a quiet voice so the rest of the band couldn’t hear him. “Is this about Jared?”
“Jared and I broke up,” I replied, wishing he would just let it go.
“When?” He replied, but if I was honest, he didn’t sound that surprised. “What happened?”
“I just... I didn’t love him,” I sighed, and to my horror, tears spilled down my face.
“Is this about Seth?” Andy asked, almost flooring me with his question.
“Why would it be about Seth?” I asked, decided to play dumb.
“Oh, just the fact that you’re in love with him,” Andy replied with a sad smile, surprising me once more. “And I’m pretty sure he loves you too. I mean, it’s written all over both of your faces. Just, nobody else is really looking.”
“He’s Jared’s best friend,” I whispered as I wiped the years from my face. “He will never betray Jared like that.”
“Seth is a good guy,” Andy sighed. “A better guy than Jared. I never understood how he and Jared were best friends. But they are, and it doe
sn’t surprise me he is trying to do the right thing. But what if…”
“What if what?” I asked, hoping Andy could offer me some kind of hope to hold on to.
“What if you two are meant to be together?” Andy asked, giving me a knowing look. “Are you going to let someone like Jared Walker stand in your way?”
“I don’t see any way for us to get around the fact Jared is Seth’s best friend,” I sighed, giving him a sad smile. “I just need to let them both go, Andy. Now, we should probably be getting out there before Joe thinks I’m bailing again tonight.”
When we made our way out onto the stage, the first thing I noticed was Seth was no longer behind the bar. The second thing I noticed was Jared was sitting in a booth not far from the stage, and my heart sank completely.
I had no clue why he was here, but I knew that this was not going to end well.
I glanced at Andy, and he gave me a look that said he saw Jared too.
Then the door opened, and Callie came through the door, followed by Seth, and my heart sank further. I knew she liked him. That much was clear the night of Seth’s welcome home dinner.
But nothing had happened. I had no clue why she was even here now. She hadn’t come to the show in weeks, nor had I talked to her in over a week. She didn’t even know Jared and I had broken up.
The last piece of my heart broke when I saw her taking her seat at the bar. I knew she was here for Seth, and there was nothing I could do about it.
While I sang on the stage, I couldn’t help but watch Seth as he worked behind the bar. It hurt that he refused to look back at me, but I guess I understood.
Still, I felt sad and really didn’t think I could feel any worse, but I was wrong. Watching her sitting there laughing and joking with him, was the hardest thing I ever had to do. He could pick her and there would be no problem. He wouldn’t be betraying his best friend, or his family. I just wished I didn’t love him so goddamn much.
By the time the gig was over, I just wanted to get out of there; I couldn’t bear to watch her flirting with him any longer. Still, I knew I just couldn’t leave without speaking to them, so I took a deep breath and stepped down from the stage.
The One Page 15
