“Of course,” he replied, but this time he didn’t look at me. “But right now, I think it’s time we tried to get some sleep.”
“Okay,” I replied as I snuggled back down in the bed. Seth lay down too, then wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to him.
“I love you, Savannah,” he whispered as he kissed my head.
“I love you too,” I replied, but something felt off, I just didn’t know what.
I lay there for the longest time, my mind racing until exhaustion won, and I drifted into a restless sleep.
Chapter 21
Seth
I woke slowly and groaned. My head was banging with the worst headache I ever had in my life. I knew it wasn’t a hangover as I’d only had one bottle of beer the night before. Most likely it was from the fact I had barely slept a wink all night long. I’d spent the night going through everything that had happened at Sylvie’s in my mind.
I recalled the words my mother had said. How bitter she sounded as she did her best to hurt me. I just didn’t know why she hated me as much as she did. If I was honest, I really didn’t care. As far as I was concerned, I never wanted to see or hear from her again.
But my dad; he was another story completely. I had so many unanswered questions; questions I wondered if I would ever get a chance to ask him.
He wanted me. My dad wanted me. My heart ached thinking about the life I could’ve had with him. But would that have been a life without Jolie? The memories I had of him and her together were few, but I remembered her on his lap, fast asleep after he’d read her a bedtime story. I remembered the times he took us both to the beach. I remembered him running into the surf holding my hand, and Jolie on his shoulders.
My memories were few, but the one thing I knew in my heart, my dad did not hate Jolie.
But none of this changed the fact he’d left us, and never came back.
I thought about Sylvie. She knew my father wanted me. I recalled the times I cried for him as a little boy, I only ever allowed her to see my tears, but she never once told me the truth. Maybe Savannah was right; maybe I was too young, and maybe, as I got older, she just couldn’t tell me the truth then and hurt me anymore than I already had been. Still, it hurt to know she’d kept it from me.
I glanced down at Savannah sleeping with her head on my chest, and I smiled. But then the conversation we had the night before crashed into my head, and I released a long sigh.
I didn’t know why I hadn’t told her the truth about Jared and Callie then and there, but for some unknown reason, the words just didn’t come out.
Maybe I just thought it was Jared who should tell her the truth. Or maybe right in that moment, I was happy in our little bubble and I selfishly didn’t want to let anyone or anything else destroy it.
Either way, today she was going to find out the truth. Whether Jared was ready or not, today I was not hiding the truth from Savannah. I couldn’t lie to her, not even for Jared. I loved her too much.
She moved slowly and opened her eyes. The moment they met mine, I was greeted with a smile, but something was wrong. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes. Instead, she looked sad, like there was something on her mind. Something she was afraid to say.
“Good morning,” I said, giving her a broad smile. “How did you sleep?”
“Good I guess,” she replied, but I knew that wasn’t the truth. She’d tossed and turned all night in a restless sleep, and I had no idea what she was worried about. “Do you think Jolie is okay? We need to go and see her this morning. She needs to know that you don’t hate her. She is so worried that you will blame her for your father leaving you.”
“We can go right after breakfast,” I promised, giving her a kiss on the forehead. I loved that she was so worried about my sister, but I knew there was more on her mind than just Jolie. “Savannah, are you okay?”
“Yeah,” she replied as she forced a smile one more time. “I guess I’m just…”
But before she could finish her sentence, there was a bang from outside in the apartment, making us both sit up in bed.
“SETH!” Jared’s voice called out from the living room.
“Oh shit!” Savannah said, as panic washed over her face.
“Don’t panic,” I said as I quickly climbed from the bed, grabbing my jeans and pulled them on. But it was too late. The door opened, and Jared came barging into the room.
“Look, Seth, I know you’re ups…” he stopped mid-sentence the moment he saw Savannah in the bed, as the blood drained from his face.
“Jared,” I said as a feeling of dread settled inside me. “I know how this looks…”
“How this looks?” He said stumbling backwards, until his back hit the wall behind him. “It looks like you’re fucking my girlfriend. Jesus, Seth!”
“I swear,” I said, as panic washed over my entire body. This was not how I wanted him to find out, and I knew there was nothing I could say, right at that moment to make this right. I glanced at Savannah, who was now quickly getting dressed in whatever she could find to wear. “Nothing happened while you two were still together!”
“And I’m just supposed to take your word for that?” Jared hissed as he glared at me. “Considering I’ve just caught you fucking my girl, forgive me for believing you. You’re a real piece of shit, do you know that?”
“Jared, you know me,” I said, feeling a little hurt that after everything we’ve been through over the years, he wouldn’t even give me a chance to explain. “We’re best friends.”
“No, we were best friends,” Jared growled. “Friends don’t fuck their friend’s girls behind their backs…”
“No,” I quipped feeling completely pissed off that he would take the moral high ground with me, considering he was no saint either. “But her boyfriend is fair game?”
Without even blinking, he pulled back, then swung out, punching me square in the face, knocking me to the floor.
“JARED!” Savannah said as she ran around the bed to where I was on the floor and dropped down to her knees next to me. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“He deserved it,” Jared retorted, staring down at me, his fists still clenched by his side. “He deserved that and a lot more.”
“That’s right, Jared,” I groaned from the floor, reached up and wiping away the blood that was trickling from my lip. “Use your hands just like you always do to fix every problem.”
“Fuck you, Seth,” he hissed before he turned and walked out of the bedroom.
“No!” I exclaimed as I climbed up from the floor and went after him. “You don’t get to come in here and play the victim. There are no innocent parties in this mess.”
“This is not the same thing,” he said as he continued across the living room. “I would never have done this to you…”
“But you’re not above doing it to her,” I cut in, stopping him mid-sentence. “Are you, Jared? You acted like you’re so perfect, but the truth is, you are the one that betrayed her, not the other way around. Nothing happened between us before you and Savannah broke up. Can you say the same thing?”
“What… what do you mean?” Savannah asked, giving me a questioning look, before she turned her attention to Jared. “Jared! Did you cheat on me? It was that girl Meggie, wasn’t it?”
Jared stopped, but he didn’t turn back to face her. Instead, he released a long breath as his shoulders slumped.
“Why don’t you tell her the truth?” I asked, feeling angry that Jared was actually playing the victim here.
“This is not the time,” he sighed, without turning back to look at either me or Savannah.
“No, this is the perfect time,” she replied, walking across the living room to where Jared was standing, pushing him in the back. “Did you cheat with that girl, Meggie?”
“No!” Jared replied as he turned slowly to face her. “I didn’t sleep with Meggie.”
He allowed his eyes to meet hers, and for the first time I can ever remember, the cocky, confident guy I
had known for most of my life, had disappeared. Instead, Jared looked almost like a little boy, and I knew in that moment that Jared genuinely loved Savannah and hated the fact he was going to hurt her as much as he was about to.
“Then… then who?” She asked, briefly glancing over at me, before she turned back to him. “Who was it.”
“Callie,” Jared said, and I could see the hurt instantly pour from Savannah’s body. “I… I didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did. It was an accident.”
“An accident?” She exclaimed with a laugh of disbelief, but her voice shook, betraying just how hurt she was feeling. “What, did you fall and land in her vagina?”
“No, no,” he said, but I knew Jared had no clue what he should say next.
“Was it just once?” She asked, but the look on her face said she already knew the answer.
“I never meant to hurt you, Sav?” Jared said, not really answering her question directly.
I hated this. I hated she was hurting. I hated that I was standing there, having no clue what the hell I was supposed to do.
Jared stepped forward, reaching out for her, but she stepped back, refusing to let him touch her.
“Don’t… don’t touch me!” She said taking another step back from him.
“We never meant to hurt you, Sav,” he insisted, looking like he wished he was anywhere but there. “I swear, I tried to end it, but then she told me about the baby and I…”
“She’s pregnant!” Savannah exclaimed, and I knew that she’d heard enough.
“Jared,” I said walking toward Savannah. “Maybe you should go. Give her a chance… give you both a chance to calm down, then maybe we can all talk again.”
“NO!” Savannah screamed as she took a step closer to Jared. “No, I need to know the details. How long have you been fucking my best friend, huh? You came in here, acting all hurt and you…you were worse than me. I broke my own heart trying not to have feelings for Seth. I knew you loved him so much, and I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want to come between you and your best friend. I tried to do the right thing….”
She stopped and closed her eyes as a sob escaped from deep inside her.
“I ended things with us because I knew it was the right thing to do,” she continued without opening her eyes. “Even though Seth said he still couldn’t be with me because he wouldn’t hurt you….MY GOD, you even asked me to give you another chance, and the whole time you were fucking my best friend. She…she was pregnant, and you were trying to win me back. What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I loved you, not her!” Jared exclaimed as tears broke free and trickled down his face.
“Well, I don’t love you,” Savannah replied, her voice suddenly calm. “In fact, I never want to see you again.”
Without saying another word, she turned and headed back towards the bedroom, slamming the door behind her as she did.
I stood staring at my best friend for a few moments, waiting for him to speak.
“This is not how this is supposed to be,” he finally said, blowing out a long breath. “You were supposed to come back home, I was supposed to be with the girl I loved, and we were all supposed to be happy. How did we get it so fucking wrong?”
“Jared,” I said, knowing I needed to try at least to clear the air between us two. “I never meant for any of this to happen. I tried so hard not to feel for her the way I did. But I love her, and I know that hurts you, but I do. Just like I love you too. You’re my best friend. Please tell me we can get past this.”
“I don’t know that we can,” he sighed, giving me a look that almost broke my heart. Without saying another word, he turned and walked towards the door. He reached for the handle, but he stopped.
“You need to talk to my mom,” he said without turning to face me. “She is devastated that she didn’t tell you the truth about your father. She thinks you hate her now.”
“I could never hate Sylvie,” I sighed, hating that everything was such a mess right at that moment.
“And you need to talk to Jolie too,” he added, still not turning back to face me. “She needs her big brother right now. Not the asshole who came home from Australia.”
He didn’t wait for me to respond. Instead, he just walked out the door, slamming it behind him as he left.
FUCK! I thought to myself as I released a deep breath, before I turned and headed to the bedroom, to make sure Savannah was okay.
When I opened the door, I found her sitting on the far side of the bed, staring blankly out the window.
“Savannah,” I said as I walked around the bed, sitting down next to her. I reached for her hand and held it tightly. “I know this is a stupid question, but are you okay?”
“Not really,” she sniffed as she glanced over at me. “I mean, I didn’t love him. I know that, but it hurts to think the whole time he… and Callie, she was supposed to be my best friend. I mean, she was the one person in this world I actually trusted. And I feel so stupid because really, I should have known. All the signs were there. She’s been avoiding me for weeks, and Jared; he was always whispering on his phone, but I, I just didn’t see it.”
She stopped for a moment as she turned back to the window.
“Shit, I even found her earring in his car, but I never thought for a moment she would…” she continued, as fresh tears trickled down her cheeks. “And she’s having his baby… it just…I don’t really care about the fact he was cheating; I just hate it was with her. I just feel… I feel so stupid.”
“You’re not stupid, Savannah,” I tried to reason with her. “You just trusted your best friend. You trusted Jared. I told him weeks ago to stop, that he was with you and he needed to grow up.”
“You… you knew weeks ago?” She asked as she turned to look at me, a look of complete hurt on her face. “You knew and you didn’t tell me?”
“I didn’t know for sure,” I explained, sensing she wasn’t happy about this new piece of information. “I suspected something was going on. Jared was acting weird, so I told him he needed to stop whatever it was he was up to, but I swear, I didn’t know it was with Callie. I mean I heard them fighting at the bar last week, but I didn’t realise it was her he was arguing with.”
“Did you know she was pregnant?” She asked, her voice was calm, almost too calm.
“Not until Wednesday night,” I explained. “When he came by the apartment, he told me that he’d gotten some girl pregnant, but he never said who. I only found out it was Callie at the party last night.”
“You… you knew it was Callie, and you didn’t tell me?” She asked as she pushed up off the bed.
“Savannah,” I said as I quickly stood up too and hurried towards her. “I wanted to tell you, I really did, but last night was such a mess…”
“No!” She exclaimed, as she took a step back from me. “You don’t get to use last night as an excuse for not telling me the truth. I trusted you, and you lied to me.”
“I never lied to you, Savannah!” I tried to assure her, but she was furious now.
“An omission of the truth is still a lie,” she cried as she just stared at me in disbelief. “God, I trusted you. More than I have ever trusted anyone. I told you everything last night. I told you about my life and my parents, I let you in closer than I’ve ever let another living soul, and you…you…”
She broke down and began to sob, burying her face in her hands.
“Savannah, please,” I begged as I reached out to comfort her. My heart was breaking to see the girl I love so hurt and broken. “I would never lie to you.”
I softly touched her arm.
“NO!” She screamed, taking a step back. “All this time, you said you couldn’t be with me because of Jared. That you wanted me, but he was your best friend and you couldn’t betray him, yet all the time you knew he was betraying me.”
“I didn’t know for sure,” I tried to reason, but I knew there was nothing I could say to her to make this right, not while she was so upset.
“You didn’t know?” She asked, giving me a questioning look. “Or you couldn’t let your best friend down?”
“I know that’s how it seems,” I said, realised this was not going to end well unless I made her understand that she was the most important person in the world to me. “But I swear, that’s not how it was.”
“That’s exactly how it was, Seth,” she sobbed, but she quickly brushed away her tears. “Danny was right, he said there is nothing so big that would ever pull you and Jared apart. You love Jared, and Jared loves you back. I guess he will always be the one that will come first to you.”
“That’s not true,” I insisted, knowing right at that moment, I was losing her. “Nothing is bigger than you and me. You are the one I love. You are the one I pick.”
“Only you didn’t,” she replied, giving me a sad smile. “Did you? You picked him when you kept his dirty little secret.”
“Savannah, I love you!” I exclaimed, as I reached out to touch her, but she quickly stepped back.
“Just not enough to tell me the truth,” she replied, releasing a deep sigh. Without saying another word, she turned around and walked out into the living room.
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! I thought to myself. This can’t be happening.
“Savannah, please,” I begged as I followed her out to the living room, where she was now almost fully dressed in her own clothes now. “This is stupid. I love you, and I know you love me. Can’t we just sit down and talk about this. I would never do anything to hurt you. You’re right, I should have told you the truth and I am sorry I didn’t, but last night, everything was so fucked up. You were the one thing that was right in my life, and I just needed one night of something good, before my life fell apart.”
“The thing is, I get that,” she said, as fresh tears danced in her eyes, the fight suddenly gone from her voice. “And if it were just last night, I would have even understood. But it wasn’t Seth, was it.”
“I didn’t know it was Callie until the party, I swear,” I said, trying to make this right. “You have to believe that.”
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