by Sue MacKay
She hit the supermarket, trying to dredge up enthusiasm for something to cook for dinner. Nothing appealed. Not even ice-cream or chocolate. Ironic, when the week before she’d been pretending to diet, and this week she was struggling to put anything in her mouth.
The meat chillers held nothing to interest her. The deli came up short too. Talk about being picky. Harper crossed to the fish cabinet. Last try before she went home to eat an apple.
‘I do a mean baked salmon and salad.’
The shopping basket clattered to the floor as the voice that had been haunting her every night of the past week caught her attention. ‘Cody.’
He picked up the basket and swung it between them. ‘Do you like salmon?’
What if she did? They weren’t sharing a meal, not when they’d barely shared a sentence all week. She tried for a shrug but didn’t do so well. ‘Sometimes.’
‘Would tonight be one of those times? With a glass of Pinot Gris? On my veranda overlooking the harbour?’ He didn’t beg, but there was a lot of entreaty in the way he looked at her.
‘Why?’ She had to know if this was a ‘let’s make up and be friends’ gesture, or something more intense and serious. Or had he come up with his own reasons why they couldn’t be together?
‘We need to talk. About a lot of things.’ Lightly swinging the basket between them again, he locked those spring-green eyes on her. ‘I’ve missed you.’
‘You’ve seen me every day.’ Her heart began to thump a little harder and faster than was normal.
‘I’ve still missed you.’
Her next breath hitched in her throat. Damn the man. He had a way with words. Add in the longing in his eyes, and the softest smile now curving his lips upwards, and what could she say? How could she refuse him when she’d missed him every minute, every second, of the past week? She turned to the woman waiting on the other side of the cabinet. ‘I’ll take that whole salmon, thank you.’
Suddenly she was ravenous.
*
The small talk Cody and Harper managed for the next hour as they drove to his house and prepared dinner wasn’t too bad. They discussed work and her family, and where Harper thought she might go for her summer break that she’d apparently put in for yesterday.
‘Why Rarotonga?’ he asked, genuinely puzzled. ‘Now’s the windy season, isn’t it?’
‘I want lots of beach and warm water, and no paddle-boards.’
‘Your chin looks okay now that the stitches are gone.’ The tiny scar on the edge of her jawline was cute, and had him wanting to run his fingertip over it. He refrained from that mad idea. That could be pushing the boundaries. Yet some time tonight he’d have to. There were too many unsaid things lying between them that had to be confronted before he and Harper could move forward—together. He was determined they were heading into the future together.
With the salmon cooking slowly on the barbecue and the salad made, all that needed doing was to blanch the asparagus at the last minute. ‘Let’s take our wine outside.’
Harper followed and took a chair opposite him, which kind of suggested she wasn’t quite as comfortable yet as he’d hoped.
Leaning across the table, he topped up her glass, then his, sat back and said, ‘When Sadie died so did I.’ He saw when she got it.
Her mouth softened and her eyes widened. She reached across the table to slip her hand into his. ‘Go on.’
That was it, really. His chest rose as he drew in air. Get this over with. ‘I’m afraid of losing someone I love again. That’s why I let you push me away with no argument when you said we couldn’t have a relationship because of your infertility. I want to change that. To prove I am better than that. To share your life—for ever, if you’ll let me.’
She jerked her hand away, her eyes widening as she fixed him with a glare. ‘You’re feeling sorry for me?’
His fingers shot through his hair. Would they ever be able to have a conversation without misinterpreting everything? ‘No, Harper. I don’t. Well, I do, but my actions aren’t based on sympathy.’ What actions? You haven’t done anything yet except dig an even bigger hole to climb into. ‘I love you.’
She gaped at him.
He hadn’t planned to say that yet; he’d thought he’d work up to it. But now some of the tension gripping him had starting easing, so he said it again. ‘I love you. I knew it from the moment Lowlife held that gun to your head, and when after the initial shock you showed you cared as much for your patient as anything else that was happening. You’re one gutsy lady.’
After a couple of beats, she said, ‘I was scared witless when that gun banged against my skull.’
‘Still a…’
‘Let me finish.’ She rubbed her temples in the way she had when she’d been getting a migraine. ‘I’m scared way beyond that now. I love you too, Cody. Love you with every cell of my body. And that makes me afraid too.’
He didn’t relax even as the thrill of hearing those words rolled through him. There was more to come. He saw it in her eyes. And he wasn’t going to like it.
‘Because of that, I am walking away from you, from us. I can never ask you to give up your chance of having a family. I can’t and I won’t. It would be selfish of me.’
‘There are other ways to have children.’
Her head moved back and forth, back and forth, as though warding off his words. ‘I heard that last time, but in the end it didn’t happen.’
And she couldn’t deal with the heartbreak again. He got it. In spades. He didn’t have the words to persuade her to rethink her stance, so he stood and went to her, pulled her into his arms and held her tight, close to him, so they absorbed each other’s warmth and tenderness. His chin rested on her head and he closed his eyes, absorbing every little movement she made, every place where her body touched his.
She pressed hard against him, her cheek against his chest, her hands around his waist, her breast moving up and down softly as she breathed.
He inhaled her citrus scent. Remembered that first kiss they’d shared. The kiss that had changed everything for him, had had him wondering if he could take a chance with her. Had had him doing it again at work, of all places.
They stood that way for a long time. Then Cody leaned back in her arms until he could see her face, saw when tears began to streak down her cheeks. Bending forward, he began to kiss her, murmuring, ‘Don’t cry, my love,’ against her mouth. ‘We’re in this together.’
She stilled just as she’d begun nibbling his lip. Her mouth left his, making him feel chilled until he saw the warmth in her eyes.
‘No one’s ever said that to me before,’ she whispered.
‘It’s true. I can’t leave you. I won’t, unless you push me away. All I ask is that you accept me as I am.’ He had to trust that she would.
‘Yes, of course I do.’
‘Harper, will you marry me? Live with me for ever, or at least until I’m old and grey and can’t get it up any more to pleasure you?’
Harper’s eyes widened in astonishment and a small, nervous laugh escaped her. ‘That is a long way off, I’m sure. I’ve seen how easily you react to me when we’re getting up close.’ Then she sobered. ‘What about children?’
‘Sweetheart, there are ways. You know there are.’ But he named a couple anyway. ‘Surrogacy, for one. Adoption, for another. Or fostering, if you prefer. Quite frankly, it’s more important that I’m with you. I love you so much, it’s unbearable to even contemplate not being with you for the rest of my life. Children or no children.’
‘I haven’t told you, but I’d like a family too.’ Her voice was soft and filled with a deep longing that broke his heart.
‘Now who’s trying to surprise who? I’ve seen you with the brat pack. I know how loving you are with each and every one of them. We’ll do our damnedest to add to the pack one way or another.’
‘Then, yes, darling Cody. I can’t think of anything I want more than to marry you.’
He lifted her into his
arms and swung her around. His heart beat rapidly, filled with love for this amazing woman who’d battered down all his resistance with very little effort just by being herself. ‘I love you so much it hurts at times.’
‘Then I’d better kiss you better.’ Harper’s mouth covered his in what turned out to be the longest, hottest kiss they’d experienced to date, and was only the beginning of greater things.
EPILOGUE
HARPER HELD THE precious little bundle wrapped in a woollen blanket cautiously in her arms and leaned her head against Cody’s hip. Unbelievable. To be holding their daughter was beyond her wildest dreams. ‘Isn’t she beautiful?’ she whispered.
‘Very,’ he croaked.
She looked up to see tears streaming down his cheeks and dripping off his chin. This man was full of emotion today. He had been since the moment the phone had rung at four in the morning to say Gemma had gone into labour. She loved that he showed his feelings. ‘I think she looks like her dad.’
‘I don’t have a red scrunched-up face.’ He dashed his forearm over his face.
‘What do you think, Keely Tricia Gemma Brand? Does your dad look like you?’
‘That’s such a mouthful. Can’t we drop two of the names, just call her Keely Brand? Think of her having to write that list down every time she fills in a document.’
‘Absolutely not. I like using your mother’s name as her second one and, as for Gemma, well, what can I say?’ Tears welled up in her eyes and dripped down her face. Gemma was a star in her book.
She’d never forget the day, a month after their fabulous wedding, when Gemma and Jason had rocked up at the house looking so serious she’d feared for bad news. But, no; they’d come to suggest that Gemma be a surrogate mother for them. They’d stunned both her and Cody into silence for a long time. The idea had seemed wonderful, impossible, crazy, filled with so many problems that they should’ve said no.
Neither of them had been able to. Months of tests, counselling and talking to their families had followed before Gemma had finally been able to become pregnant for Cody and Harper through artificial insemination. Finally, Harper was a mum and Cody was a dad. A very proud one, by the look of wonder on his face.
‘Here, your turn to hold her.’ Harper didn’t want to let Keely go but she held their daughter up to him, and smiled when he stepped back.
‘Hell, no. I’ll break her, or drop her or something.’
‘You’ve held babies at work. You’re going to be fine with your daughter.’ Harper pressed Keely into his arms, watching the wonder grow as he gazed down at his beautiful bundle.
‘Hello, sweetheart. Welcome to our world. I promise I’m going to try to be the best damned father ever.’
He would be. Harper already knew he was the best damned husband. Ever.
***
If you enjoyed this story, check out these other great reads from Sue MacKay
BREAKING ALL THEIR RULES
A DECEMBER TO REMEMBER
REUNITED…IN PARIS!
MIDWIFE…TO MUM!
All available now!
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ISBN-13: 9781488009839
Dr. White’s Baby Wish
Copyright © 2016 by Sue MacKay
All rights reserved. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
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