by S. E. Rose
Stella’s rattling on about some guy she hopes is at the bar tonight. Mac’s is the local hangout. They have a dance floor and decent food. At the very least, I’ll get a burger out of it.
“OK, all done,” she finally says as she gives my hair one last fluff.
I spin around and stand to see in the mirror over my dresser. I blink because I’m pretty sure whoever that is cannot be me. I take three steps across my room and lean my hands on the dresser as I examine myself.
“What do you think?” she asks.
“I think you’re a goddamn miracle worker,” I state as I examine her work.
Stella giggles and steps up next to me. “You’re beautiful, Megan. Truly, you are. And no matter if you wear your hair in a ponytail and never put on makeup or if you look like this, you can’t hide your true beauty. I don’t know what happened to make you shut out the fun and the boys, but I’m here if you ever want to talk about it.”
I feel my eyes glaze over and I turn so she won’t see it. “Thanks, Stella. I know I can be…challenging, but…you’re a good friend.” Blinking away my momentary sadness, I spin back around and grin at her. “You’re right. I should enjoy myself more than I do, but I also need to keep my eyes on the prize.”
Stella puts her hands on her hips. “What’s the prize? That internship that you’ve been talking about?”
I nod.
“I mean, I know you want to work at NASA and all, but you do realize there are other ways to get a job there.”
Sighing I run a finger over the pink dress she’s laid out on my bed. “I know. This is going to sound stupid, but ever since I heard about that internship, I’ve been fixated on getting it. Maybe because I want to show everyone that I’m the best of the best. Or maybe I’m proving something to myself. Shit, I don’t know.” I look up at her and she’s staring intently at me. “Enough of this sappy crap. Let’s get dressed before I second-guess the whole thing.”
Stella points a finger at me. “You better not. Give me thirty minutes.” She runs out of the room with a handful of her makeup and hair supplies.
I change into the dress and shoes she’s left for me. I’m almost afraid to look at the final result. Glancing in the mirror again, I gasp. Connie would never believe it was me. Flashes of the young woman I was becoming before I decided to change come back to me. For long seconds I stare at myself, wondering if I’ve been wrong this whole time. Have I wasted my college experience on study sessions and office hours?
“Holy shitballs!” Stella exclaims from my doorway. I turn around to face her as she walks in and grabs my hand. “Come on, let’s get out of here before you change your mind. Not going out when you look that good would be some sort of felony.”
I laugh as I grab my phone and ID before she drags me downstairs and out to a waiting car.
Chapter Six
Clark
“We have to go out! I have clean clothes,” Evan whines.
Groaning, I flop back into my favorite chair. “Dude, I’m exhausted.”
“That’s on you. You shouldn’t have played kickball for two hours,” Grif says from the kitchen. “And take a shower before we go out. You smell.”
I lean down and take a whiff of my armpit. Yeah, I stink. “Fine, give me five minutes to shower.”
I hop up and head into the shower. As the hot water hits me, my mind wanders back to Megan talking to my dad and Megan at the party last weekend and Megan in my class.
Why am I still so fixated on her?
Getting out of the shower, I wipe the condensation on the mirror. Maybe I can find a girl to hook up with tonight. It’ll keep my thoughts from her.
I quickly get ready. Taking one last look in the mirror before I walk into the kitchen. Evan and Grif are both leaning against the counter drinking beers.
“Where to?”
Evan shrugs. “Mac’s?”
“Yeah, sure, why not?” Grif says as he finishes his beer. “Let’s roll, motherfuckers.”
Evan hands me a beer and I pound it. We begin the ten-minute walk to Mac’s. It strikes me as we chat along the way that this is the last first walk of the semester to Mac’s that I’ll ever have. Mac’s comes into view and I grin as memories of all my nights out at this place come back to me. Sometimes it’s been our stop before heading into D.C. to go clubbing. Other times, we’ve spent whole evenings here shooting pool and downing cheap beer. Even before we could drink, we’d come by for a burger during happy hour, hoping an older friend might take pity on us and buy us a drink.
Evan slaps me on the back as we walk inside. “Lots of memories here, gentlemen. Let’s make this year count.”
“Fuck yeah,” I reply, walking up to the bartender to order our first round. We park ourselves at our favorite high-top table.
“To senior year,” Grif says, holding up a beer. We clink glasses and take sips of a local brew.
“So, are we on the prowl tonight?” Evan asks as he surveys the crowd. It’s starting to fill up but it’s still on the early side. A few frat parties are going on tonight, which means some people will stagger in later tonight.
I’m about to say hells yeah. I open my mouth to speak but a movement by the door pulls my attention away. A vision in a pink dress enters, timidly looking around. It takes the better part of a minute for me to recognize her. Megan fucking Lennox.
“Jesus Christ, is that Megan?” Grif asks.
“Uh-huh,” I manage as I swallow.
“No way,” Evan says. He leans in more to get a better look.
“It’s her,” I state. She looks like she does in my fantasies, the ones I keep to myself, the ones I’ve never told a living soul about because they counter everything I have said and done for the past seven years.
“Damn, bro. Why do you have to hate her? She’s fine as fuck,” Grif states.
I glare at him and he holds up his hands. “I’m just sayin’ that I’d totally tap that.”
My glare turns murderous and he sits back and takes another drink from his glass. I watch as Megan and her friend, Stella, walk across the bar and join a group of girls from their sorority that has taken up residence at a large booth in the corner near the dance floor. For someone who has practically erased herself from my life over the past three years here at college, she’s doing a surprisingly good job of suddenly popping up everywhere. I don’t know if that makes me hate her more or want her more.
“Seriously though, can’t you two just like kiss and make up or something?” Evan asks. “I’d totally love to hook up with Stella, but I’m not going to if it’s going to cause friend drama amongst everyone.”
Grif laughs. “Dude, Stella is classy. She’s not just going to ‘hook up with you.’ You need to ask her out. Actually, try dating for a change instead of doing the whole one-night-stand deal.”
Evan sets his beer down and stares at Grif. “OK, Romeo. Please share your dating knowledge.”
Grif stands up and turns to us. “I love you both, but we’ve spent all day together and I’d rather find a lady here to spend all night with. Best of luck, fuckers.”
He walks away toward a table at the other end of the bar. It’s filled with girls, some of whom I know. I watch in awe as Grif struts up to them. At least three of them, visibly flirt with him, using any excuse to laugh and touch his chest or his bicep. The man is a fucking Casanova. He’s fit as fuck, smart as fuck, charming as fuck, and he has this amenable charm that no one can resist. Lucky motherfucker won the goddamn genetic lottery. It’s hard to hate on him though because he is such a nice guy. OK, yeah, I sort of still hate him.
“How does he do that?” Evan asks.
“Hell if I know. The man has some sort of magic.”
“Come on, let’s go talk to women. Grif has a point. We’ve had our male bonding session for the day. It’s time to go lady hunting.”
“Evan, just, no. You can’t call it ‘lady hunting.’ That’s the type of shit that is going to get you in trouble. Just say you want to go talk wi
th some women. End of story. Don’t embellish it.”
Evan shrugs and stands. “Fine, Dad. I’m going to go speak with the womenfolk if that is OK with you?”
I roll my eyes. “Go for it. I’m ordering fries.” I grab a waitress and put in an order as I watch Evan walk over and start talking to Stella.
Yeah, so my pride is killing my game. I should be over there too, but then I’d have to speak with Megan, and after the way she beelined for the exit last weekend, I doubt she even wants to talk to me.
I finish my beer and order us another round. A few friends stop and chat with me as I wait for my fries. It’s a typical night here at Mac’s. My friend, Dennis, is bartending tonight. I wave to him and he comes over to say hi.
“How’s it going, man?” I ask him.
“Same old. Word on the street is that you are getting out of here in December.”
“That’s the plan.”
“Well, shit. The next round is on me. We’ll miss you around here,” he says as he leans in and gives me a bro hug before returning to the bar and grabbing some beers that he sets on my table. “Enjoy.”
“Thanks,” I say as I take a sip of the pricey beer that I’d normally pass on but if Dennis is buying, I’m not saying no.
Megan
“I thought you guys were at the Moores’ house,” I say to Evan as he cozies up next to Stella.
“Nah. I mean, we were, but we decided to come home and have a low-key night here at Mac’s. It’s tradition. We always swing by after the first week of classes,” he says.
“Oh.”
“Hey, how did you know…” He trails off and smirks. “Fuck, Lennox. You were at the Moores’ too, weren’t you?”
I nod and shrug. “Mr. Moore is writing a reference letter for me.”
Evan’s mouth gapes open. “Like…for NASA?”
“That’d be the one.”
“Fuck, if Clark finds…I mean, that’s cool,” he quickly corrects himself. I don’t know Evan very well, but his words tell me several things. One, he definitely knows that Clark hates me. Two, he likely knows that I live by Clark if he guessed right about me being at the Moores’. And three, he knows about the internship which means Clark has also applied.
Well, the fact that Mr. Moore is giving me a reference letter just got a whole lot weirder. I glance over and see Clark is munching on fries and talking to two guys that are in his fraternity. He seems so…relaxed. I sigh. I won’t deny that I envy how he can fly by the seat of his pants through life and not worry about anything. When we were friends, he was always talking me off a ledge. Meanwhile, I was constantly stressing about everything. I’d never admit it out loud, but deep down, I miss his friendship and his support. He always knew just what to say. It was like he knew what I needed before I knew what I needed.
Before I know what’s happening, Evan is calling Clark over to the table. I see him glance at me briefly before walking across the bar to greet us.
“Ladies, Evan,” he says.
“You two should catch up. Stella, you want to dance?” Evan says, giving Clark a smirk as he grabs Stella’s hand and pulls her out to the dance floor. I nervously look to Clark who’s staring back at me like I’m a two-headed dog. It dawns on me for a moment just how sad it is that we’ve been such adversaries for so long that we don’t even know how to communicate any longer.
“You applied for the NASA internship,” I state as I swirl a straw in my cup.
“Yeah, you too, huh?”
I nod.
He shifts his weight from one foot to the other. I look up at him. Those eyes that always drew me in are now sizing me up.
“I asked your dad for a recommendation,” I state because I feel like I should tell him.
“I know.”
My eyes widen. “How?” I frown.
“I saw you today. And I asked him afterward.”
“You’re mad.”
He shrugs. “Why my dad?”
Now it’s me that shifts my weight nervously. “I…he’s known me my whole life and he works there. I know he can’t write one for you because he’s your dad, so I asked.” I’m about to say more when I see a familiar face enter the bar. The only person I’ve avoided more than Clark. Jimmy Allen. But it’s not Jimmy that startles me. It’s his older brother, Anthony, that has me going pale as memories of that night he roughed me up at the party come flooding back to my brain.
“What?” Clark asks, turning to follow my gaze. He glances back at me quickly and grabs my hand dragging me up and toward the dance floor.
“What are you doing?” I ask as I try to pull my hand free from his.
“Saving you from people you don’t need to talk to,” he answers as he places my hands on his hips and wraps his arms around mine, our bodies slowly moving to the love song. It’s an old song from back when we were friends. I look around us. Couples are grinding on one another. The sexual tension in the air is palpable. My gaze wanders back to Clark. His eyes are fixed on mine.
“Thanks,” I mutter as I briefly see Anthony and Jimmy make their way to the bar before they are blocked by several dancing couples.
“Those two are trouble. You don’t need to deal with that,” he says. I wonder what he means but I decide not to ask. I don’t want to talk about Jimmy and Anthony. The fight-or-flight part of me wants to leave.
It’s as though Clark senses this because he tightens his grip on me. “Don’t leave.” Our eyes connect once more. There’s a part of me that wants to forgive him for being an asshole in high school, for every time he made fun of me, and for every time he told others about things I’d done that were embarrassing. Hell, part of me even wants to forgive him for not being my friend when I needed him most. But that ship sailed a long time ago.
“I…should go. I…” I trail off because saying I don’t belong here seems melodramatic.
Again, Clark’s eyes bore into mine. “You belong here just as much as anyone else does.”
I shrug. “I’m not really social. I mean, I haven’t been in a long time.”
“Why is that? You used to love to hang out with people. I mean, shit, you were student government president in the eighth grade. You were involved in like every activity in high school. Then at the end of sophomore year, it was like, you disappeared. I mean I saw you, and I knew you were pissed at me for whatever reason, but you stopped going out with friends. You were never at any of the parties junior and senior year. I only saw you at a few graduation parties for like two minutes.”
“I changed,” I state, squaring my shoulders defensively.
“You can have fun and still be a good student, you know that, right?”
“Oh, right, like you? All you do is have fun,” I quip, raising an eyebrow.
“I study,” he retorts.
Rolling my eyes, I glance over at the bar and see that Anthony’s and Jimmy’s backs are turned from us. I relax slightly. “Whatever. If you spent half as much time studying as you do having fun, then you would probably be valedictorian of the university. Hell, NASA would probably just hire you on the spot.”
“First, we both know that you are going to be valedictorian of our class, again. And second, life is too short to not have fun. I’m glad you have been going out again. You need to let loose. You’re like a ticking time bomb.”
I step back from our embrace. “Thanks, that’s so encouraging.”
“What? It’s true. You never have fun. You spend all your time studying. Are all your boyfriends as into pulling all-nighters as you are?”
The double entendre isn’t missed, and I glare at him. “Listen, my personal life is no longer any of your business. And besides, why should you care? You’re the king of the fucking campus. I bet everyone in this bar knows who you are. Or does everyone just want to be friends with Kent Moore’s little brother?”
I regret the words as soon as they leave my mouth. They are cruel and over the top. But it’s the look of pain on Clark’s face that stings more, knowing I’ve struck a
nerve with him should bring me great pleasure. Yet, it doesn’t.
“That’s low, even for you,” Clark mutters stepping back. “I thought maybe…someday, we could get over whatever happened between us. Whatever made us into rivals and ended our friendship. But maybe I was wrong.”
Clark walks away before I can respond, leaving me on the dance floor. Stella and Evan are still dancing. I decide to leave. I’ve made a fool of myself. I feel awful for what I said to Clark. He didn’t deserve that. Why can’t I just let things go? He was willing to. But no, I had to be an ass and go say something mean.
I make my way back to the table, chastising myself the entire way there. Our sister, Kendra, is there watching purses and talking to a girl from another sorority. I grab my phone from Stella’s purse and text her that I’m heading home and to have fun.
