by K. G. Reuss
“Gifts?” I scoffed. What I had experienced so far couldn’t be considered a gift. If it was, I needed to return it.
“That’s what your grandmother called it when she explained it to me when I was a kid. I saw them too. Not many before you were born, just random ones here and there. But I remember Mom telling me that they just wanted to be heard. They had things to tell us.”
“Who?”
He looked at me with knowing eyes. “You know who, Ever. The dead.”
“What do they have to tell us?”
“When I was a kid, they told me nothing. I actually convinced myself when I became an adult that they weren’t real. Just a product of my mother’s imagination. They weren’t around anymore. Then after Mom told us that you were on the way and that you’d change everything, they started appearing again. I think the dead told Mom that you were coming.”
“How would they know something like that?”
He shrugged. “Same way they know anything I guess. They just do. Anyway, Mom said you were coming and that you’d be the greatest gift the world would get in a long time. That you’d save everyone.”
“I think she got some bad information.”
“No. And when you were little and she was dying, on her deathbed, she gave me the infinity necklace you wear. With her last breath she tried to tell me something. But all I could make out was Everly, fin, job, save and live forever. I assumed she was trying to say something about the infinity and that it was my job to save you and love you forever. Failed on those fronts, I’d say.”
With a sigh and a shake of his head he opened his mouth and continued, “Funny thing about life,” he murmured, tearing his eyes away from me and looking back out the window. He grew quiet for a moment before speaking, “I want you to know that I always only wanted what was best for you and your mother, Ever. I know I didn’t showcase that in a positive way. I was fighting my own demons that grew bigger as time passed, and unfortunately, I waged war on the two people I cared most about. In fact, it got to the point where I was willing to sacrifice those I loved for a moment of peace. I wasn’t able to do my job and save you.”
He grew quiet again, his eyes focused on the dead man, before continuing, “Do you see the dead man on the sidewalk?”
“Y-yes,” I whispered, still surprised at how easily he spoke of it.
“Yes, well, there are more, and they’re going to come for you, Ever. Thousands of them will come for you just like they came for me.” He nodded, still not looking at me.
“But why—”
“I suspect you’ll have a harder time dealing than I have,” he mused, finally dragging his eyes back to me, a small, sad smile on his lips. “And I don’t know why they’ll come for you. I can only catch bits of words. I can’t hear them as well as I’m guessing you can. And don’t ask me how to get rid of them. Do you think if I knew I’d be the man I am today?” He snorted and shook his head. “I tried you know. To get rid of them. I told them they could have you if they wanted you so bad. Remember when I tied you up and shoved you in that dark closet? I thought they’d take you then. They tried. I remember when your mama pulled you out, you had all those cuts and bruises on your body. She thought I’d done it to you. I was guilty of putting you there, but those cuts and bruises weren’t my doing. It was them. The dead.” His voice grew soft and his eyes darkened as he twirled the fork he was holding between his fingers. I had a flash of him jamming the fork through my flesh. I sat back, swallowing hard, my breathing picking up. He was crazy, maybe even more so than me! What kind of father would do those things to his own child?
“They’ve always wanted you. You’re special to them. Your place is among them, Everly. You belong among the dead.” His dark eyes were hard and cold as he stared at me, his mouth turned down into a frown. “If you go to them, you’ll save many, myself included. Don’t you want to be a savior, my sweet, beautiful daughter?”
He wasn’t the same man who’d walked into the diner twenty minutes before. He was cold, calculating. Insane.
“You think I should kill myself?” I asked softly, my eyes on the fork in his hand.
“I think that if you don’t do it, they will. There’s something bigger at work here. I think you need to choose between the lesser evil.” He paused and licked his lips before he spoke again, his voice a low, snake-like hiss, “They’ve been whispering about your importance. And he’s going to come for you. I don’t know who he is, but it must be bad to have them around this much. None of them will stop until you submit.”
“Who are they? Who are any of them?” I asked, my body trembling, my mouth dry. “You don’t have any idea?”
“He’s important. In fact,” he paused as he cast narrowed eyes to the ghost still standing on the sidewalk, before continuing, “I think he’s already been visiting you. Or at least, that’s the impression I’m getting. Funny,” he chuckled darkly, “I think they want me to take you away. He must be a very bad creature, if they’re begging me to take you because we both know how terrible I am.” He laughed maniacally this time, a hint of bitterness in the harsh barking sound. “I think they know they can trust me to finish the job.”
“You’re nuts,” I whispered, the bile rising in my throat. My own father was willing to kill me. Crazy ran deeply in my family apparently.
“So, they tell me,” he grinned wickedly at me, his green eyes flashing. “It probably wasn’t the best idea to call me. There’s a restraining order against me for a reason.”
“What happened to you?” I asked, my voice trembling. “You were once a good man. A good father!”
“And then they came back. I’m willing to do anything for some peace. You’ll understand soon enough. You’ll do it yourself. That’s what I’ve always told myself. My sweet, beautiful daughter will kill herself. You must, Everly. Kill yourself. Or let me do it. It’ll be quick. And we’ll both have peace.”
“You’re sick!” I hissed at him, bristling at his words.
“I am,” he agreed, looking out the window again. “And I hate myself for it. I don’t like wishing for your death, Everly. You were my princess. Despite my words, I do love you. But sometimes loving someone means letting them go. And I need to let go of you. You’re the reason for my torment. My pain. Your mother’s pain. Her sadness. All of it. You’re the reason no one is happy. You don’t belong here. In time you’ll understand it, and you’ll end it.”
“I won’t kill myself,” I snarled at him through clenched teeth, tears burning my eyes. “I won’t!”
“You will. You’ll die. You’re meant to. Hopefully, you’ll stay dead this time. For your own sake. The alternative isn’t something I want for you. I never wanted any of this for any of us.” His voice grew more bitter as he laid the fork on the table and picked up the knife. “I could do it for you. Right now. End it all. Don’t you want the pain to go away?”
“Yes,” I whispered, warm tears snaking their way down my cheeks. “But I don’t want to die for it.”
“You’ll want to die. It’s best to do it now. Fast. Clean. I’ll do it with you. My car is outside. We can get in it, and I’ll hit a tree or drive it into the river. If you’re afraid, I have pills. You can take them and sleep, Everly. I’ll drive us over a cliff. It’s your death. Choose which method you’d prefer. It’ll be my final gift to you. My death with yours so you won’t have to go alone.”
Was my father seriously suggesting we Thelma and Louise it off a cliff?
“You’re really insane,” I whispered, a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. “I’m not going to kill myself. I’ll figure this out without you. I’ve been doing it on my own so far.”
“If you could do it on your own, you wouldn’t have called me.” He sat back in his seat, the knife still in his hands and his gaze leveled on me. “And you will try to kill yourself. It’s the only way to really get answers.”
“I just wanted to know if you were like me. It’s clear to me that we are nothing alike,” I seethed at him. Fe
ar and anger warred within me to be the stronger emotion in my trembling body as I stared at the man who contributed half my DNA.
“We’re more alike that you realize.” He smiled sadly at me, my old daddy peeking through for a moment before the darkness in him surfaced again. “And I’m so sorry, peanut.”
I let out a shriek as he lunged across the table at me, the knife raised, a maniacal glint in his dark eyes.
Chapter Nineteen
I squeezed my eyes shut and threw my hands up to shield myself from my father’s attack. It happened so fast—one moment he was talking to me, and the next he was lunging at me with a knife poised to kill. When the impact and pain didn’t happen, I peeked through my lashes to see that my father was frozen in place—his mouth twisted open, a bit of spittle falling from his lips, eyes just as crazy as they’d been moments before. Lowering my arms, I looked around in confusion. Everyone and everything was frozen in place. A fly hovered in mid-air, its wings no longer moving. Coffee hung suspended in a brown trail from a pot in the waitress’s hand, on its way to the cup.
“What the hell,” I whispered, my heartbeat pounding in my ears. Was I dead? Was this what the last moments of life looked like? I frowned as I remembered the car accident. It hadn’t been that way when I’d been hit by the SUV. This was different. This was something else.
The guy from the booth in front of ours got to his feet and came to my table. I stared up at him even more confused. We were the only two people not frozen in place.
“You should run,” the guy said softly, his voice deep with a slight accent. His blue eyes remained focused on my father. “I won’t be able to hold this stitch forever.”
“What’s happening?” I asked, my voice shaking as I slid slowly out of the booth. I wasn’t even sure if I could stand on my own. My entire body quivered in fear.
“I’m saving your life so someone won’t have to save your death,” he answered, his eyes moving from my father to me.
“I-I don’t understand,” I stammered, my legs quaking beneath me as I tried to maintain my balance. He reached out to steady me, and I stared up into his bright blue eyes.
“You will. Soon.”
“Who are you?” I breathed out as he released me and turned his focus back to my father, who was still frozen in place.
“My name’s Eric. We’ll meet again. Now you have about ten seconds to get as far from here as you can because this stitch is about to reach its end. Don’t look back, Ever. Never look back.” His blue eyes flicked back to me quickly before going back to my father, his lip curling up, as a terrifying look fell over his face. He was going to do something I didn’t want to see.
I backed away, keeping my eyes glued to him.
“Five seconds,” he hissed. Beads of sweat dotted his forehead as his hand rose up from his side, his fingers curling. A strange blue glow began to flicker around him, the cobalt color swirling out of his hand in waves. I didn’t need him to say it again. I turned and fled, leaving the frozen patrons at Lucinda’s Diner behind.
I was in my car and tires squealing when a deep boom shook my vehicle. I hit the accelerator harder and watched in my rearview mirror as the building lit up in the same blue glow as that which had engulfed Eric.
I didn’t even want to know what was happening in there. I focused on the road ahead of me without bothering to look back again.
Chapter Twenty
My dad had tried to kill me. Some strange guy had stopped time. I saw dead people—this had to be the most bizarre, worst day of my life, and that included the night I’d been hit by the car. At least I’d spent most of that event unconscious. This I was very much awake for. Or at least I thought I was. Maybe it was just more of my weird delusions and hallucinations. Maybe I hadn’t really met with my dad. Maybe I only thought I did. Yeah. That seemed likely. None of this was real. All of it was just a figment of my imagination, created from my brain injury.
I was so delusional that I was having delusions about my delusions. Deep down I knew it was more than just crazy thoughts. And that was scarier than being nuts.
“Everly Lucia! ¿Dónde estabas? I got a call from the school today that you left early. I was worried sick. I kept calling you, but you didn’t answer.” My mom met me at the front door with her hands on her slender hips and her mouth turned down into a frown.
“Sorry,” I muttered pushing past her and going to the kitchen where I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and swallowed down my nightly snack of high-powered pharmaceuticals. I knew everything was real. I hadn’t imagined it. There was no way my mind was that imaginative. If it was, I’d probably have been better in art class or my writing class. “I-I had to meet someone.”
“Just because you want to hang out with your friends doesn’t mean you can just walk out of school whenever you want. You need to tell me where you’re going. You’re not well, Ever—”
“You’re right,” I laughed disgustedly, the day’s events still all too fresh in my mind’s eye. “I’m not. And no amount of pills or coddling is ever going to change that! I think it’s safe to say we both need to learn to get over it!”
“Ever, you’ll get better—”
“No, I won’t, Mamá! I have a sickness that can’t be cured. Prayers and tears and hopes and positive thinking won’t change me back. You know why? Because I’ve always been this person. This is me. Broken and crazy,” I shouted at her hysterically.
A ghost hovered in the corner of the dining room, and I laughed maniacally, the sound a mixture of bitterness and anger. It reminded me of my lunatic father. “Come get me, you shits!” I shouted at it, spit flying from my mouth. “Here I am. What are you waiting for? What are you waiting for?” I taunted and threw my bottle of water across the room at it. Tears streamed down my face.
I was losing it. Jesus. I was the female version of my father. All I needed now was a knife and a bottle of alcohol.
“Whatever,” I breathed out, my lower lip quivering and my eyes on fire with unshed tears. “I’m going to bed. Maybe they’ll kill me this time so no one else will have to. Save me the trouble of doing it myself.”
“Ev—” my mom’s voice cracked.
“Goodnight,” I called over my shoulder at her as I disappeared up the stairs. I slammed my door closed behind me and went to my bed and sat down on the edge of it making sure to sit with my feet off the floor. I pulled the picture of me and my dad out of my pocket and looked down at it. Tears continued to stream down my face as soft sobs escaped my trembling lips.
The air shifted in my room. I didn’t need to look up to know I wasn’t alone anymore.
“What do you want from me?” I whispered, closing my eyes, feeling warm sadness snaking its way down my cheeks. There was a gentle touch on my face, like someone was wiping my tears away. I opened my eyes to find myself face to face with Shadow as he knelt in front of me. His red eyes wavered like he was crying with me. Little tendrils of blackness curled off him like tiny serpents.
“Why did you save me if I’m meant to die?” I managed to choke out, my body quivering as I stared at him. I knew he’d been there. It was coming back to me in small, terrifying pieces. He’d always been there. My childhood, growing with me. My accident, healing me. The cafeteria, saving me. Now, comforting me.
He reached forward and placed a black finger to my lips, and his head gave a slight shake. His warm finger slipped slowly away from my lips, and he took my hand and lifted it, placing it against the spot on his chest where his heart would be. He rested his other hand over my heart as his glowing ember eyes focused on me. A memory surfaced. His hand had been over my heart when I’d had the accident. Beneath my palm, his heart thumped along in his chest.
How could he have a heartbeat if he was dead?
If he was just a shadow?
“This doesn’t make any sense,” I murmured. He leaned in to me and rested his forehead against mine and breathed out slowly. He breathed. He was warm. He had a heartbeat. Was he another creature l
ike the guy from the diner?
I closed my eyes as our foreheads stayed pressed to one another. None of this seemed real, yet I knew it had to be. If it wasn’t, then I’d been sick since the day I saw the first spirit. Since the first time I saw the shadow.
Since. . . forever. Always.
When he pulled away from me, his eyes looked even sadder if that was even possible. I watched as he got to his feet and backed away from me.
“Where are you going?” I asked worriedly, reaching out for him. I needed him. I felt like he needed to be here with me. He couldn’t just disappear. I had the sudden crazy thought that I couldn’t exist without him. “Why won’t you talk to me!”
He bowed his head as tiny wisps of black smoke puffed up around him He faded away within them, leaving me all alone again in my bedroom.
I couldn’t do this. Forty-five minutes ago, all I wanted was answers and to resist dying by the hands of my father. None of this made sense. Ghosts haunted me. A strange shadow man was worried about me, so it seemed. And there was a guy who could literally stop time. My father’s crazy rantings echoed in my mind. He said I’d want death. I wasn’t sure how in forty-five minutes I could go from wanting life to wanting death just to escape. It was a nod to my mental issues, that was for sure.
My dad drank. Heavily. He did it to dull the voices. The voices I could hear humming in the distance even now. They were coming. He wanted me dead to what? Save me? Save himself? If I was dead, none of this would matter.
Peace.
My dad had wanted peace. God, I did too. He found it in the bottom of a bottle of alcohol, or at least he found tolerance there. I wanted something, anything, just so I could breathe without fear.