by R. C. Martin
She arches her back, pressing her ass into my crotch as she turns her neck in order to meet my gaze. “Hi,” she murmurs, her voice so low I can barely hear it over the house music.
“It’s about damn time! You guys took forever to pack up,” says Violet just as JJ arrives.
“It was twenty minutes, babe—quit your whining and kiss me,” he insists in reply.
“’Kay,” she says with a smile before their lips are locked.
“Are you ready for this?” Rosy asks Sami. “This is the price we pay for volunteering as designated drivers—we’re forced to sit front row center while they get drunk and make-out all night,” she says with a teasing half smile.
Sami laughs, shaking her head as she replies, “We’re also with the band—making us the only two bitches under twenty-one who got into this party. I can deal with a little tongue action.”
I smirk at my sister who has no smart-ass comeback. Sami is right. While most nights the bar is eighteen and up, tonight was for the older crowd. They really are the only two in here with giant X’s marked on the back of their hands.
“Is this for me?” asks Millie, abandoning her empty glass for the full one I just brought her.
“Drink up, baby,” I instruct, speaking softly into her ear. “It’s time to party. New year, big dreams, and great plans, doll—it’s going to be insane. I can feel it.” I slide my arm around her, resting my hand against her lower belly. She rests her hand over mine, tilting her head back to prop it against my shoulder.
“Maybe I’ll learn to dream again, too.”
“You will,” I tell her. “I mean it, Millie—you will.”
She raises her glass before she says, “Happy New Year, baby.”
I clink my bottle against her drink and then we both down a healthy swig.
Knox and Maddox show up at the table a few minutes later with a bucket full of ice and beer, and a bartender behind them with a tray full of shots. Tequila. We wait for Alex, Derrick, and Adrian to join us, and then we all take one before Knox insists on another round, then we all take another. By the time Millie’s finished with her gin and tonic, she’s as drunk as I’ve ever seen her.
I won’t lie—it’s pretty fucking hot.
Her back is to the table, her chest pressed against mine, and her hands shoved down into the back pockets of my jeans. She massages my ass as I throw back the rest of my beer, my free hand giving her backside a squeeze in return.
“I love how much you love my ass,” she starts to say. “I think I don’t praise yours enough. Perhaps I owe you an apology for that.”
I laugh, which makes her smile as I set aside my empty bottle.
“No apologies necessary, doll face,” I assure her, now palming her ass with both of my hands. “I know you appreciate other parts of me a whole lot more, and I sure as shit can’t complain about that.”
“Mmmm,” she hums, pressing into me as she tries pulling me closer—the hard-on in my jeans far from a secret. “You’re right. You’ve got the biggest cock I’ve ever seen. It’s perfection. I’m sure of it.”
“Yeah?” I chuckle, lowering my lips to hers.
“Mmhmm,” she murmurs with a slight nod, kissing me in return.
I flick my tongue out flirtatiously and she frees a soft moan, her hands coming out of my pockets as she reaches up to claw at my shirt greedily. My dick grows harder as she plunges her tongue into my mouth, as if she could give a fuck that we’re still in the middle of a packed bar. When one of her hands slides to my side, then over my stomach, only to descend until she’s got a firm grip around my cock, I know she’s trashed.
“Want you inside of me,” she whimpers against my lips. “Need you to fuck me—over and over, Sage. Over and over.”
“Jesus,” I mutter, crushing her against me as I look behind her at our table of friends. Everyone is drinking, laughing, and having a good time. We’re here to party, and I’m sure our night has barely just begun. There’s no way we’re getting out of here any time soon.
There’s no way I can keep my dick in my pants with Millie’s hands all over me, either.
Her lips press against my neck as she rubs my erection shamelessly. I stifle a groan and make up my mind all at once. I’m going to fuck my girl—right now.
I take her hand away from my dick, wrapping my fingers around hers tightly. She frowns at me and I smirk at her in return before I begin dragging her through the bar. I have every intention of taking her to the bathroom and locking us into a stall until she’s screaming my name. I’ve never been so brazen before, but at the moment, I really don’t give a shit.
Yet, as soon as we find our way to the back, I notice immediately that there’s a line for both the men and the women’s bathrooms. I don’t stop to question why the hell so many guys are lined up to take a piss, my mind too busy trying to think up an alternative plan. I’m stumped for only a second; then I make a bee-line for the backstage entrance.
“Sage? Where are we going?”
I look around the dimly lit space, noticing for the first time that there’s not a single covert place to be found back here. It’s too fucking cold to take Millie outside—a fact that I remind myself of when I look beside me and give her a once over.
Then all I see is her.
Her long legs, bare and fully on display in her gold dress.
Her narrow hips, begging to be held between my hands.
Her perfect tits, smaller than average, but perfect for biting.
Her straight hair, pulled up and away from her face.
Her sweetheart lips, just plump enough to suck on.
Her eyes, green and gorgeous.
Her eyes, haunted but no longer so mysterious.
She’s my gorgeous girl—and I can’t wait a second longer.
I take her to the back door and position her so that I’m blocking her from the entrance before I lift her dress up. She gasps, but I grip her hips tightly, pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder before I whisper, “No one will see you, baby. This is gonna be fast and hard. You with me?”
“Fuck,” she groans, running her hands down my chest before she reaches for the top of my jeans. She unbuttons and unzips, shoving my boxers down as she takes out my cock. I grin wickedly as she says, “I’m with you. I’m always with you.”
I reach down and slide her thong to the side before grabbing the back of her thighs. She sucks in a sharp breath as I lift her up and press her against the cold door, her hands fisting my shirt at my shoulders. Then, as I thrust my throbbing dick into her tight, wet pussy, she locks her legs around me and frees an uninhibited groan.
“Perfect,” she sighs.
A growl rumbles from my throat, everything about her in this moment turning me on. I take hold of the outside of her left thigh with one hand, pressing the palm of my hand against the door above her head with my other. Then I do exactly as she’s requested. Exactly what I promised.
I fuck her—fast and hard.
The door rattles against its hinges as I pound into her. Every time I ram back inside of her, she sighs, whimpers, or moans—calling my name over and over. Her fingers let go of my shirt, and she feels her way up my neck before grabbing hold of my hair. She pulls me toward her, her mouth open and wanting, and I kiss her hungrily, my groan traveling down the back of her throat.
“Oh, fuck, Sage!” she cries out as she breaks our kiss, gasping for air. “Yes-yes-yes—god, you feel so good.”
I watch as her eyes fall closed, her head tilting back as she climbs closer and closer to her release. She’s so fucking hot. So fucking gorgeous—all fucking mine.
“Need a tit, doll. Take one out,” I demand, panting greedily.
She doesn’t hesitate before she tugs down the fabric from over one of her breasts, arching her back as she pushes her chest out. Her drunken desperation makes me wild and I thrust harder as I lean down and suck her nipple into my mouth.
“Shit! Oh, shit!” she whines, her legs squeezing me tighter.
&nbs
p; I buck my hips faster, ready to lose my load. Just when I think about reaching for her clit, she screams, her walls clamping down around me, bringing me to orgasm right on her heels. She slumps against me as she descends from her euphoric high, and I pump in and out of her lazily until my dick goes soft.
“I love you,” she mutters breathlessly into my shoulder. “You make everything better. Everything is better with you, Sage.”
I pull her away from the door and wrap my arms around her, holding her trembling body close. My buzz fades a little, but I don’t mind. I want her words—her confession—her truth. I want more of her. I want all of her. I always have.
Something tells me I always will.
“I love you, too, baby doll.”
Carefully, I slide the sequined fabric of her top back up over her exposed boob before pulling out of her and setting her on her feet. She giggles and then groans as I set her down, and I’m both amused and confused as I help her straighten out her short dress.
“What’s up?”
“What’s down,” she corrects me. “Your jizz is running down my leg.”
I fight the urge to smile like some fucking Neanderthal, proud to have just marked the hot as shit woman in front of me—backstage—in the middle of a bangin’ New Years Eve party.
“Sorry, doll. I don’t have a napkin on me,” I tell her, tucking away my dick and adjusting my clothes.
“Please tell me you can do better than that. I am not going back out there covered in semen.”
Now I can’t help it. I laugh, earning me a frown. I grab the back of her neck before smacking a kiss against her lips. “I’ll be right back,” I say, delivering another kiss.
“Hurry,” she whispers against my lips.
I kiss her once more, tapping her ass before I hurry to the bar.
Five minutes later, sated and straightened out, we’re welcomed back to the table with knowing smiles. Rosy crinkles her nose at me and I toss her a wink and a smirk before she laughs, whispering something in Sami’s ear. Knox, with some groupie on his arm, declares it’s time for another round of shots—and the revelry continues.
IT TAKES TWO DAYS for me to recover from the party that brought me into the New Year. After a lot of gin and tonic, sex with Sage against a freezing cold door, more gin and tonic, a few shots, a three a.m. breakfast at an all-night diner I’d never been to, and then more sex—this time in my warm and exceedingly more comfortable bed—I finally went to sleep around six in the morning.
Never—in my life—had I been as reckless as I was that night. It was as if I’d had an out of body experience, spending the night in some twenty-one-year-old’s body—and certainly not my twenty-one-year-old body. I would have never behaved that way at that age; neither did I have the friends to encourage me to do as I damn well pleased, regardless of the consequences. I’d never let loose that much before.
And never had I ever had so much fun.
I slept through most of the following day, wrapped up in Sage’s arms. For once, he didn’t give me a hard time for indulging in my slumber. He needed it just as much as I did. We woke sometime in the late afternoon, and we stayed awake long enough to eat, hydrate, and then fall back asleep. The following day, I spent most of my time with Violet, curled up with Maestro under a blanket on the couch in the garage as the guys and Alex practiced all day, preparing for their first recording session of their upcoming album.
Today, I’ve made the trip down to Denver with all of them so that I might spend another day hanging out with Violet while the band works. We’re in the same recording studio that they used to record their EP, and Tank is playing the part of sound engineer again. I know that when school starts next week, my trips to Denver will be a lot fewer, and I want to spend as much time with everyone as I can. I’m well aware that everything about their schedule is up in the air right now. They don’t have another tour on the books yet, but Sage tells me that Stefany is working on it. They want to be able to promote their album not long after they release it.
I don’t want to even think about being apart from him again—not after the last few weeks that we’ve had.
“Hey,” says Violet, nudging my knee with her sock-covered toe. I’m sitting on one side of the couch with my legs folded beneath me, Violet on the other side, her legs stretched out between us. “What are you working on? Can you take a break?”
I look down at the class syllabi in my lap. I was trying to go over it and tweak it as part of my semester prep; but honestly, my mind is elsewhere. I shrug at Violet before I reply, “Yeah, a break would be nice.”
“Just got a text from Stefany,” she says, holding up her phone. “Her meeting is running late. She was going to bring lunch for everyone, but she doesn’t know how much longer she’ll be. She asked if we wouldn’t mind going out to grab something. I’ve got JJ’s keys—will you come with?”
“Yeah, sure.”
She grins as me and then hops into action as only Violet can. While she slides her feet into her boots, she takes Tank’s lunch order. Then, when the band is done with their current take, she memorizes their orders as well. In no time, we’re out the door, headed to the nearest burrito shop.
“Are you sure you don’t need to write any of that stuff down?” I ask, impressed by all that she’s now holding in her brain.
“I’m good,” she says with a laugh. “You forget—I do this almost every day.”
“Right,” I reply, shaking my head at myself. “Do you like it? Working at Jo-Jo’s, I mean.”
“If you’re asking if I’m living the dream, then no,” she chuckles, peeking over at me before focusing back on the road. “I studied fashion design. Some days I have to remind myself that choosing to major in something I cared about instead of something more practical was not a mistake. Some days, though...” She pauses, shaking her head. “I worked at Jo-Jo’s through my undergrad and couldn’t find anything in my field—not even an internship—in the entire state. I know Fort Collins isn’t exactly the fashion district, but I was willing to move down here, to Denver, if the right opportunity presented itself. It didn’t. New York was my best bet, but I was too afraid to go.”
“The city isn’t that bad,” I say encouragingly. “I didn’t grow up there, of course, but I’ve been. It’s expensive and competitive—but I’d imagine if you wanted it enough, you’d thrive there.”
“I wasn’t afraid of the place; I wasn’t afraid of failing. I—” She pauses again, giving me a sidelong glance before offering me a shrug. “I was afraid of losing JJ.”
“Oh,” I say on an exhale.
“Yeah. Sounds silly, right?”
I open my mouth to protest, but she goes on before I can get in a word.
“My parents thought I was being ridiculous at the time. Even now, I know they want better for my professional life, but they can’t deny that JJ was a smart choice. I’m sure we would have given long distance a good try, but it would have been so hard. I didn’t want to take that risk. JJ is the love of my life—I’m sure of it.
“I’m not one of those people who believes you can only find one. I’d like to think that if I ever lost JJ, or if he ever lost me, we’d be able to find someone who could help us heal and enjoy companionship for the rest of our days. But so long as JJ roams this earth, I know that he’s the only one I want. No one could make me as happy as he makes me. The thought of being without him—” She shudders. “Anyway, to go back to your question, Jo-Jo’s somehow manages to pay my bills. I still have a passion for fashion. I’ve got so many design ideas that I’ve sketched out and saved, just in case one day I can start my own line. For now, though, I’m content.”
I process all that she’s shared with me for a moment. I’m not at all surprised to learn that she has an interest in fashion. She has her own style, which I’ve always considered rocker-chic. I love it, and I can imagine that she’s got some great design ideas. I’ll have to remember to ask her to bring some of her sketches over to the house sometime.
“What about JJ’s career? I mean, they’ve already been on one tour; the next one is bound to come around sooner than later. He’ll be away from you all the time.”
“It’s his turn,” she states without hesitation. “I can’t figure out how to explain this without me sounding like some anti-feminist. What I want professionally is no less important than what he wants. If I decided to pack my bags and head for New York tomorrow, he’d help me pack, he’d drive me to the airport, and he would call me every single day that we were apart. But two years ago, it broke my heart just thinking about the hours and miles that would separate us.
“Now, we’re in a different place—it’s his time. I might have an eye for fashion and an education to back up my vision, but it’s different with JJ. He was made to play. I believe that with everything I am. More than anything, I want to see him accomplish all that he’s ever dreamed of. It’s starting to happen, and I couldn’t be more excited. Yeah—long distance will suck. But you better believe that when they make it big, I will not be in Fort Collins working at Jo-Jo’s pizza,” she says with a laugh. “I’m just bidding my time, is all.”
Again, I fall silent, contemplating what she’s just said. In a way, I envy her. Her life might not be perfect, and it might not be all that she wants it to be, but it’s a life full of hopes and dreams, with a love that carries her through. She believes in one day; and even though the road seems long, she has faith that it’ll all work out. She knows who she is and what she wants; she knows her heart’s deepest desires, and she clings to them completely unapologetically.
