by Jessica Marx
“You know it’s going to work out, Ryan. Besides, it’s the perfect plan. How else can either of us afford to live in Manhattan any other way? We’ve been talking about this since we met!”
“That part is true, but won’t it be strange living together?” Ryan asks.
“Ryan, we’ve been living together ever since our parents got married…”
“This is different and you know it.”
“No! It’s not different. It will be awesome. We can make it work, Ry,” I answer, pleading with my eyes.
My excitement is palpable. I found an amazing apartment in Hell’s Kitchen. It’s a three-story walk up with one bedroom. Actually, other than the location, the only amazing thing about it is that if I can find a roommate, it will be affordable. I can’t even afford a studio at this point, let alone anything bigger. We can put up a partition and make it a two-bedroom. Commuting to Manhattan for work and auditions is doable, but not at all convenient—especially for those last-minute calls. It’s the perfect solution.
Or at least it would be, if I could get Ryan on board.
Ryan is more than just my best friend. He’s my stepbrother. I can't think of a better person to share an apartment with. When I first met him a few years ago, I admittedly thought he was gay. He would walk around the house showing off his amazing body, with perfectly sculpted muscles that he works very hard to maintain. Ryan has dark hair that he always takes the time to style it over his handsome, chiseled face. He has piercing blue eyes that are almost hypnotizing when you look at them, and he likes to dress in fashionable clothing that accentuates his body. I didn’t think straight guys knew how to take care of themselves like he does. He certainly stood out against all the high school guys he hung out with.
Girls are always checking him out or hitting on him, but he never really seemed to notice, or maybe he just doesn’t care. Plus, he was in my acting class during our senior year, so I just made the assumption that he was pitching for the other team. I’m glad I did, or I would have never been daring enough to get so close to him. We instantly clicked from the moment we first met, and when high school was over, we decided to take on the world together.
“Listen, Ryan. Let’s just promise that if at any time one of us is bothered by or annoyed with the other, we will be open about it. That way, there won’t be anything to worry about.” I say with a smirk.
Ryan laughs at me, taking a sip from his soda. “You sure your mother is going to be ok with us moving in together?”
“She’s going to be fine. She talks a big game about you bringing girls home, but I’m pretty sure she still thinks you might be gay…” I replied, a hint of a smile peeking out on my face.
“You know, sooner or later she’s going to realize not every white wannabe actor is gay, sis.”
“I’m sure at some point she will. Especially if I actually make a serious effort to tell her,” I reply. “Anyway, who cares? Are we doing this?”
“Okay. Yes,” Ryan answers slowly. “As long as you swear it will not ruin our friendship. I might need a wing-girl, you know?”
I almost shriek in joy. “I totally swear! Let’s go see the apartment so we can get the ball rolling! We need to snag this place quick if we really are going to take it.” I call the landlord before Ryan has a chance to change his mind and let him know we will be coming by within the hour.
Ryan and I finish our lunch. We have been meeting at this same diner for years, and it’s become “our spot.” It’s one of the few places people actually know who we are, at least for now, I hope. Everybody in this business says they are going to make it big someday, but I think if I really believe it, it will come true.
The waitress delivers our check and we both pay our share and add a nice tip. Working in the service industry has afforded us a certain appreciation for how important tipping is. Most of the people we work with are also struggling artists of some sort. Seems par for the course here—working in restaurants and bars, waiting for your big break.
We put our coats on and step outside. It’s a brisk autumn day but the sun is shining. Since it’s not terribly far from here, we decide to walk over to the new apartment to check it out. Ryan and I make small talk as we work our way through the busy streets. It seems everyone is trying to enjoy the sunshine, since winter will be here soon.
“Well, this is it,” I say, beaming up at the nondescript building in front of us.
“Wow! This is the apartment you found? I thought this was some fancy new hotel for a minute,” Ryan replies drily.
I call the landlord and let him know we’ve arrived. Moments later, the door opens and there is an overweight, middle-aged man in the doorway. I eagerly approach him with my hand out.
“Hi. You must be Mike. I’m Eve, we spoke on the phone. This is my stepbrother, Ryan,” I add. Mike looks from me to Ryan slowly. I can tell he’s sizing us up.
“Hi, Eve,” Mike says. “I don’t have a lot of time, but I can show you the apartment quick.” He holds the door open for us.
“I had someone come this morning already and my phone has been ringing off the hook about this place today,” he continues with his back to us. Mike is walking up the steps and is out of breath before we reach the second floor.
“As you know, there is no elevator. No doorman, either. Most of the people that rent here have been here for a long time. Everyone keeps to themselves.” Mike keeps talking as we make our way to the third floor. When we reach the landing, he pauses for a breath and then continues on to the third door. He unlocks it with his master key and lets us in. “You can take a look around. Place is empty. Not too much to see.”
Ryan and I walk around the small space. It can’t be more than five hundred square feet, but around here, it might as well be a palace. I go in the tiny kitchen and open the cabinets. I glance out the window, which looks out into another building that seems like it’s close enough to touch. I peek in the bathroom and meet Ryan at the bedroom door. He doesn’t look impressed.
“So. What do you think?” I ask anxiously.
“Not much, Eve,” Ryan answers. “We’re already done with the tour and we’ve been here less than two minutes.”
“Come on. I know it’s not much, but this is prime real estate, here,” I say. “We’re close to the theatre district and tons of restaurants. No more commuting. No more bringing dates home to a dirty basement.”
“True, true,” Ryan admits, sounding a little more convinced.
“I’ll even let you have the bedroom. I’ll take the makeshift one,” I offer.
Ryan raises his brows. “Wow. You really must want this place,” he says with a smile.
“I do, but I’m not doing it without you.”
“You can’t do it without me. There’s a difference.”
“Well, yes. But still, there is no one I would rather share this shoebox with,” I reply, smiling with my hands clasped together in mock prayer.
“You can talk it over, if you like, but I have to get going,” Mike chimes in from the hallway door.
Ryan and I look around as we walk to the door to meet Mike. We all step into the hallway and Mike locks the door behind us. We let him lead the way back down. He goes on a bit about the neighborhood as we make our way down the three flights of stairs to the small lobby.
“Thanks for your time, Mike,” I say, offering my hand. Mike takes it.
“Sorry to rush you. Let me know when you decide. Don’t know how long it will be available, though. This is a pretty popular spot,” he says as we shake.
“Thanks, Mike, but I think we made our decision. We’ll take it,” Ryan says as he shakes Mike’s hand too.
I can’t control my excitement. I let out a squeal and hug Ryan. “Seriously? Thank you! This is going to be amazing. You’ll see.”
When I squeeze myself into Ryan I can feel his heart racing right along with mine. It’s nice to know he’s just as excited as I am, even if he’s not ready to show it yet.
We work out the details
with Mike and arrange to come back to sign papers and leave the deposit. We have to work quickly, or he will give it to someone else—he made that very clear. That works for me. I don’t want to wait at all. The apartment is empty, so as soon as all of the details are in place, we can move right in.
As soon as Ryan and I step back outside, I give him another hug. “Ryan, thank you so much.”
“No need to thank me, Eve. I’m doing this for me too,” he says. “Everything you said is true. The location, the price, no commute, not being in dad’s basement anymore, all of it. I just hope you and I can get along as roommates. I would hate to throw you out and have to find a replacement,” he adds with a wink.
“No worries. I won’t let that happen,” I assure him, “I can’t wait. Can. Not. Wait!”
We walk to the subway, taking note of what restaurants and bars are close to our new apartment. We will be close enough to the bar I work in now that I can keep my job, but it’s nice to know what’s close enough to stumble home from on a fun night out, too.
We talk the whole ride to Penn Station—I do, anyway. Ryan is definitely getting more enthusiastic about it by the time we arrive. He’s much more laid back than I am, but I can tell he is really looking forward to our new adventure. I know he must be. We have talked about living in Manhattan for years.
“So, are you coming to dinner?” I ask him as we step onto the platform. Ryan almost never came to dinner these days. He lived in the basement apartment under our house, and paid rent to our parents. With a kitchen and a full bath down there, I saw less and less of him these days.
“No, I’ve got some things to do sis,” he replies, smirking.
“Better not be blowing off family dinner for some hot date,” I said, elbowing him.
“Of course not. Scouts honor,” he says, raising his hand into the air. “I just need to get a few things in order if we’re moving. I’ll be home late. Don’t wait up.”
Chapter 28
I walk in the house to the smell of dinner cooking. I can’t wait to share the news with my mother and stepfather about the apartment. I guess I can put “home-cooked meals” on the short list of things I will miss. I love my parents, and we get along just fine, but at this point in my life, I need to be out on my own. It’s time Ryan and I left the nest…
“Hey, Mom,” I say as I enter the kitchen.
“Hi, Eve. You look happy. How was your day?” Mom asks.
“Amazing. I found an apartment—and we’re going to take it!” I answer with a huge smile.
Mom smiles. “That’s great. But who’s ‘we’?”
“Ryan and I. We are going to live together.”
“Ryan?” I nod, and she hesitates. “I know you guys are good friends, but are you sure that’s a good idea?”
I shrug. “I think it’s a great idea. We’re just friends. Always have been, always will be.”
“It can get tricky living together, Eve,” Mom says. “I know you admire Ryan, but he is young and headstrong… And besides… Are you sure you want to immerse yourself in his lifestyle? How will you feel if he starts bringing girls home? Or worse…”
I roll my eyes. “Mom, Ryan is not gay. Trust me, I know. And look, it doesn’t matter if he wants to bring a girlfriend over. We’re not kids anymore. I’m going to start dating, mom… Anyway, you have nothing to worry about. I trust Ryan, and that’s what counts.”
I talked a big game, but for a moment, I can’t help thinking about what it will actually be like when he does bring a girl over... I won’t care—I don’t have a reason to—but it may be a little awkward, at first.
“I don’t know how your stepfather is going to feel about this, either.” Mom warns. “It will be hard enough having you leave our home, but knowing you’re taking Ryan with you is going to be tough to swallow.”
I laugh, hard. “We’re just two young people trying to make it and live in the city, which neither of us can afford to do on our own. And I don’t think I like any of my girlfriends enough to share an apartment with one of them.”
My mother sighs, wringing the wooden spoon in her hands before turning back toward the stove. “Well, you are an adult—technically. And you are paying your own way, so I will still share my opinion, but I know my baby, and if your mind is made up, nothing I say is going to change it.”
“Thanks, Mom. I promise, you have nothing to worry about,” I assure her and lightly kiss her on the head.
“Why would your mother worry?” my stepfather asks as he enters the room.
“I didn’t hear you come in, Joe,” Mom says, brightening just a little. “Eve has some exciting news.”
“Really? What’s up, Eve?” my dad asks.
I beam at him. “I got an apartment! I’m moving to Manhattan—Hell’s Kitchen!”
“That’s great,” he starts cautiously, “but how are you going to afford that?”
I summon up a little mettle and reply, “Ryan and I will be roommates.” My smile never falters.
“Ryan?” My father scrunches his nose. He frowns. “I don’t think that’s the best idea.”
“And why not?” I asked, throwing a hand on my hip.
“I know he’s my son but he’s still got his head in the clouds. He should be in college right now, but he’s convinced this acting thing is going to take off. I owe it to your mother not to let you go down that path. You’ve got a bright future, and I don’t want Ryan rubbing off on you… What about moving in with one of your female friends? Tara? Keira? I could see them making great roommates,” Dad proposes.
“Keira doesn’t want to live in Manhattan. Not yet, anyway. And Tara already has an apartment downtown that she shares with three other girls. I’m sure we will see each other a lot more, but there’s no room for me to live there.”
“Honestly, Eve, I can’t tell you what to do. I can only tell you what I think, and I think living with Ryan is asking for trouble,” Dad warns me in a stern voice. Then, more lovingly, he says, “But part of growing up is making your own decisions. Just know your mother and I will be here when things get rough.”
“Thanks, Dad. I think. Try and be a little more positive, though. Maybe things won’t get rough.” I smile and give him a hug.
“I guess it’s just hard to see both of you leaving on such short notice,” he replied, smiling.
“Dinner is ready now. Why don’t you set the table and you can tell us all the details while we eat?” Mom suggests.
I take out the dishes and silverware while my stepfather gets some glasses and a pitcher of water. I will definitely miss this, I think as we work together to get everything ready and sit down as a family. Ever since Joe came into my mother’s life, we’ve built something here that I never thought I’d have. My biological father left us when I was three years old, and for a long time, it was just me and mom… Leaving this behind would hurt…
We talk over dinner and I fill them in on all the details. As long as the paperwork goes through tomorrow, Ryan and I will be moving into our new apartment next weekend. My father offers to help, which is great. I don’t have too many things, and the space is small, so it shouldn’t take very long. They offer to buy me a new bed so I can leave mine here in case I want to spend a night at home. Dad also offers to help Ryan build the partition in the new apartment. I happily accept the offer.
The three of us clear the table and wash the dishes. As soon as we’re done, I head up to my room to start packing. I turn on some music and begin putting some of my photos and keepsakes into a box. Other than that, I only have my clothing. I plan on buying a small piece of furniture to put that into, since there won’t be a closet on my side of the apartment. Between the music and my enthusiasm, I have the majority of my packing done in no time.
All finished, I hop into bed. Soon, this won’t be my room anymore. I’ll be on my own, and the thought of it is as exciting as it is frightening.
I close my eyes, willing myself to sleep even as my heart races. I have to get up early tomorrow
to get into the city. I have a short musical theater class tomorrow that Tara is taking with me, followed by a night shift at the bar. Satisfied that I’ve done everything I can to move things forward, the night takes me.
Chapter 29
I arrive shortly before the class starts in the morning and see Tara waiting outside the Atlantic Green Room studio—or AGR, as we call it—with two cups of coffee in her hands. We’ve taken dozens of classes and workshops here together over the last few years. We’ve met many of our friends here, as well. I wave to her as I approach and she gives me a smile. As soon as I’m close enough, she hands me a cup and gives me a hug with the other arm.
“Hey, girl. How are you?” she asks.
“Very good. You?” I reply.
“Same. Nothing new. Why are you very good?”
I grin uncontrollably. “I got an apartment! We’re going to be neighbors! Well, kind of neighbors. You and I will only be a few blocks away from each other.”
“Awesome! Where did you find a roommate? Not Craigslist, right?” She narrows her eyes at me.
I wrinkled my nose. “Are you crazy? Of course not. Ryan and I are going to share an apartment,” I tell her.
“That’s great. I think,” Tara says. “As long as you guys can keep your clothes on.”
“Really?” I arch a brow. “Come on, Tara. You’ve known Ryan as long as I have. He’s my stepbrother. It’s not going to happen. We are just friends,” I say for what feels like the hundredth time. “You know that better than anyone.”
“I guess,” she says. “I just see the way the two of you are, and it’s different than the rest of us.” Tara looks at her watch. “Anyway, we better get inside. Class starts in a few minutes.”
And with that, our conversation is over.
I can’t help but think about what Tara said. Do our friends really think Ryan and I treat each other differently? I love Ryan as a friend. I love Tara as a friend. I don’t see any difference in the way I act toward them. Maybe I do or say more “girly” things with Tara, but that’s one of the advantages of having a male best friend—the perspective. Of course I’ve thought about Ryan sexually… There wasn’t a girl in a ten-block radius that hadn’t. That was just hormones. He’s my stepbrother and that’s that.
